Stable Boy

"For what it's worth, I'm truly sorry," he said sincerely.

"It's worth a lot," Parker told him. "It's so funny how I feel I can trust you when I barely even know you."

"You can trust me, Parker."

He turned toward her and looked into her eyes and said, "And we can change the part about you not knowing me."

Her eyes were locked his, moving rapidly back and forth. Her heart was pounding in her chest as he looked at her from just inches away.

"Until you're not married or at least out of this relationship, this is the best I can do," he told her quietly.

Parker thought he meant being a friend with an available ear until his lips continued closing the distance with hers before they met. She still wasn't sure it was happening until her own lips finally responded and kissed him back. It was over in a few seconds and then Austin stood up.

"We'd best be heading back now," he said as he helped her stand up.

"Austin?" she said not looking at him.

"Ma'am?" he teased.

"That was...well, for being all you can do, that was...that was...very nice."

He gently raised her chin until her eyes met his again the told her, "That really is all I can do...for now."

They said next to nothing on the slow ride back because there was really nothing left to say. There was clearly a very strong attraction between them even though Parker wasn't at all sure why someone so young and so incredibly handsome would be attracted to a woman her age. Then again, it didn't really matter because she was still a married woman, and she still had to face her husband and all that would surely follow.

"I'll take care of the horses," Austin told her after helping her dismount.

"Oh, yes. Thank you," she said. "So...I guess I'll be seeing you then."

"I'd like that," Austin replied with a smile.

"I'm not sure when I'll be back, though," told him.

"If you like I can give you my number, and when you're ready you can give me a holler."

"Oh, sure. Yes, I'd like that very much," she said as she fished her phone out of her purse and handed it to him.

"Okay. All set," he said with another smile as he returned it to her.

As she tried to take it, Austin wouldn't let go.

"What?" Parker said not sure what he wanted.

"Promise me you'll call."

"Austin, my life is about to be turned upside down. I...I can't really promise anything. Is a promise to try good enough for now?" she asked, her eyebrows raised hopefully.

He smiled at her then said, "You're not only beautiful, Parker, you're...sophisticated. It's not meant to be a knock on you, it's just an observation. I'm a 'what you see is what you get' kind of guy. I don't have a lot of education, I don't have a career, hell, I don't even have a real job. I could never buy you the kind of stuff you have, so I really could never offer you much in the way of material things."

Parker went to speak, but Austin held up a hand to stop her.

"Please let me finish as this may well be the last time we'll ever talk to one another. I don't have money, but I do have a whole lot of other things some folks think are even more valuable. I'm loyal to a fault, I'm faithful to the one I love, I'm not afraid of hard work, and someday, I plan on being the best dad a child could ever want."

He smiled again the said, "So once you're free and clear, something tells me you'll be looking for another...well-educated professional with an established career, and I can't fault you for that. But if you ever get tired of money and things..."

Austin tried not to laugh even though he was already hurting inside as he added, "I'd love to hear from you."

"It's not fair of you to judge me," Parker said politely even as she wondered if he somehow knew her better than she knew herself.

"I'm not judging, Parker," he said after moving closer to her. "I just know how things work. Poor boys marry poor girls. It isn't a criticism, it's just...the truth."

"Not always," she defensively as much for her own benefit as for his.

"No, not...always," Austin agreed for the sake of argument.

Parker was on the verge of crying again as Austin turned away.

"Austin?" she said.

As he turned around she asked, "Could you...would you...kiss me one more time?"

"I can't," he told her. "You have a ring on your finger."

He smiled much too happily before adding, "Besides, Pete's giving me the eye so I better get these horses inside."

She tuned around and saw Pete, hands on hips, scowling fiercely. The scowl turned to a smile the moment their eyes met, and Parker waved half-heartedly before turning back around.

"I will call you!" she hollered to Austin who was nearly at Joey's stall.

"Uh-huh. Sure you will," he said flashing that gorgeous smile her way one more time.

Parker felt sadder than she could ever remember as she got in her car. Austin was probably right—about everything. And for now she had to mentally prepare for Kurt's return home and whatever might follow.

She broke down and called her mother that evening knowing she was in for a lecture or a scolding, if not both. She'd never cared for Kurt, whom she'd found 'worldly and godless' and had opposed their marriage from day one.

"There's something wrong with that man," she'd told her daughter repeatedly after Parker introduced them for the first time. "He acts...too manly or something, and I don't trust him."

The rift had grown so strong over the years that between that and her mother's obsession with 'sin' they rarely spoke anymore. Through it all, Parker had staunchly defended her husband never once admitting there were problems.

Now she would have to eat crow after hearing the words, "I told you so," pronounced in that sanctimonious way only her mother could do.

The truth was, Parker was thinking about going home—or more accurately, to live with her mother—for a few weeks or so or until she got her bearings. The thought of telling her 'friends'—the wives of other pilots in her social circle—was worse than telling her mom, and was something she had no intention of doing. She tolerated all of them, liked one or two, but wasn't close with any of them. Kurt had been her whole world and now that relationship was over, too. Then again, it had essentially been over for at least the last couple of years.

The 'talk' did indeed turn out to be a humiliating lecture, but in the end, 'The Iron Maiden' told her daughter she was welcome to stay as long as she liked. The worst part was hearing her mother say, "I know lots of good, decent, God-fearing Christian men I can set you up with, dear. When you're no longer married to that 'abuser of mankind'."

Parker had 'grinned and borne it' not wanting risk her mother's wrath by telling her Kurt was a real man; just one who preferred other men to her. She also wasn't about to tell her mom she'd rather live alone than marry a man who shared her mother's kooky brand of faith. Parker wasn't anti-religious. She would gladly date a nice guy who attended church as long as it wasn't one where people babbled in monosyllabic gibberish and fell back into someone's arms after being 'slain in the Spirit' by a phony, faith-healing charlatan. Religion was one thing, fanaticism was quite another.

Prior to Kurt's arrival, Parker set the folder with the photos on it in the middle of the huge marble island in their expansive kitchen. Admitting it was a non-issue. The photos were explicit and if needed, she had the video. She only wanted to know why he hadn't told her.

The hours ticked by as she watched the driveway from her upstairs bedroom. Around 6pm, the black Infiniti Q70L pulled into the driveway, and Parker prayed she wouldn't be ill as she went downstairs to wait for him in the kitchen.

She winced when she heard the door open then flinched when he called her name.

"Parker? Where are you, honey?"

His voice sounded happy, something she hadn't heard in a very long time.

"I'm in the kitchen," she said flatly.

As he came around the corner he smiled bigger than she'd seen in ages and said very enthusiastically, "Say hello to the newest captain with..."

Parker not only didn't react, she looked like her face was made of stone.

"Honey. Did you hear me? I made it! I just found out after we landed in Seattle!"

He came closer then asked, "Are you okay? Is...are your parents all right? Parker? Talk to me. What's going on? We need to celebrate and you're scaring me here."

She nodded toward the island and Kurt's eyes followed hers.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Look inside and then tell me how long this has been going on and why you kept it from me."

Kurt immediately knew that she knew before he opened the folder.

"Parker, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt..."

"How long, Kurt?"

He stopped looking after the third photo of him and Rolland kissing in the nude.

"Two years," he replied quietly.

"How many men?" she suddenly wanted to know.

"Does it really matter?" he asked as he moved toward her.

Parker had rarely argued with him and never raised her voice—until then.

"HOW MANY MEN HAVE YOU FUCKED, GODDAMN YOU?" she screamed.

"I...I'm not sure. Before I met Rolland, anyway, there were...a lot," he said unable to look at her. "But I swear I always wore protection so there's no way I could have..."

"Why didn't you just tell me? WHY, Kurt?" she yelled as her emotions boiled over.

Her husband went to comfort her and she lost it.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME! EVER!! Do you understand me?"

"Yes," he said meekly as he stepped back. "I...I was too afraid to say anything, honey."

"And don't ever call me that again, Kurtis," she hissed.

He nodded then continued.

"I...I guess at first, anyway, I thought this was just a phase or something, you know? That if I got it out of my system it would just go away."

He shook his head then looked at his wife who was in more pain than he could have imagined even though he'd tried to picture this very scene many times before. He did still love her and always would. He just couldn't love her—like that—anymore.

"I'll go upstairs and pack," he told her quietly. "You can have the house and..."

"No. I don't want the house. I can't live here. Not after this. I'm going to Florida for a while and once I get a lawyer I'll have him call you," she said the bitterness draining out of her.

"Parker? I truly am sorry," he told her as sincerely as he'd ever said anything before.

"Me, too, Kurt. Me, too."

He turned to go upstairs and Parker called his name.

"I don't hate you. I'm hurt that you betrayed me and angry that you hid this from me, but I could never hate you," she told him. "And congratulations on making captain. You deserve it."

He was dying to tell her he still loved her but knew enough to walk away.

She was packed and ready to go but waited until morning to leave. Kurt insisted on driving her to the airport, but she refused.

"No, I don't want to cry again or risk running into one of your...boyfriends," she explained. "Just promise me you'll take care of the horses. Will you do that for me?"

"Yes. I promise."

"And Kurt? If you're not going to ride them then please sell them. There's someone I know who could use the money."

Kurt wanted to know who it was but also knew he had no right to ask.

"Okay," was all he said.

The taxi pulled up and tapped the horn twice.

"I guess this is it then," Kurt said solemnly.

"I guess so," she told him as she willed herself not to cry.

"I'll always love you, Parker," he said as tears streamed down his face.

In spite of her best efforts, she too, found it impossible not to cry.

She saw the hurt in his eyes and even though she swore she wouldn't she put her arms around him and let him hold her close one last time.

"I do you love you," he said barely able to speak.

Parker pulled away, smiled bravely, then gently touched his face.

"I know you do," she said sweetly.

"Can you at least text me when you've landed?" he asked trying to hold onto something that was no longer his to hold.

"Sure," she said as she picked up her bags. "I'll let you know what to do with the rest of my things, too, once I figure that out for myself.

Kurt held the door for her as she walked passed him and out of his life for good.

******

Parker had been 'home' for two weeks and had endured countless hints about her need for Jesus as well as two 'chance visits' from the pastor of her mom's church who told her the same thing. She'd graciously sidestepped each comment while managing to hire an attorney and let Kurt know what to send her and which things to put in storage.

As grateful as she was to have a place to stay, Parker knew she could never live in Florida again. The winters were mild and pleasant, but the summers, which lasted for seven months, were brutal. And while she didn't miss the gray skies, she really missed the beautiful scenery in Seattle. In the end, she assumed she'd return to western Washington. She just didn't know when.

She'd thought about 'her' handsome stable boy a number of times, but realized that was a just chance encounter. A very pleasant encounter to be sure, but not the reason for going back out west. She could however, show her gratitude for his kindness by using the money from the sale of her horses to send to him. She'd do it anonymously through Pete and consider it even.

She had to admit Austin had a point. Poor boys married poor girls and she was now by no means poor. She didn't care what her share of the settlement would be as long as she could start over. Parker had never been afraid of hard work and she wasn't too proud to start over. She was relieved though, to know she wouldn't be starting over from scratch.

A week later Parker learned the horses had been sold. She was saddened to know they were gone but knew the new owners would care for them very well. She had her attorney sign and send a check to Pete made out to Austin with a personal note she'd handwritten that thanked him for his friendship and for taking care of Dawson and Joey. And with that, another chapter of her life came to a close.

One Saturday night not long after that, Parker needed some time away from her mother and went to the same bar where she'd met Kurt. She was both genuinely surprised and flattered when one good-looking younger guy after the other offered to buy her a drink. She'd thanked each one of them and politely refused as she sat at the bar and relaxed with a glass of red wine.

An older gentleman asked if he could sit next to her and Parker knew he wasn't flirting with her so she smiled and said that was fine.

He ordered a beer then asked the bartender to switch channels to ESPN. Parker didn't much care for sports, but she had no interest whatsoever in watching NASCAR or a college basketball game. She was more than a little surprised when the program turned out to be a poker tournament. She hadn't been watching for more than ten seconds when she heard someone say, "The action is on our satellite tournament winner, Austin White from Seattle, Washington. Austin has a respectable King-Queen of hearts, and he'll raise it up to 52,000. Let's see if our chip leader, Michael Davis, will just call or re-raise with the Ace-10 off suit."

Without taking her eyes off the screen she leaned over to the older gentleman next to her and said, "Can you please tell me what's going on?"

"Have you ever played Hold 'Em before?" he asked.

"I don't even know what that means so..."

The man chuckled then began explaining what was going on and how the game was played. Half an hour later, Parker was calling out, "Three bet!" or, "He's bluffing. Go all in!"

The man assumed she was flirting with her and asked if he could buy her a drink. She thanked him for all his help but told him, "No, thank you. I'm um...I'm kind of seeing someone."

It was true. She was seeing 'her guy'—on television—and now she at least had a clue what was going on as she watched.

"Lucky guy," the older man said having no idea what the beautiful blonde sitting next to him meant.

During the broadcast, they did a short feature on each player who'd made 'the final table' which Parker learned meant the six top finishers in the tournament.

She was mesmerized just watching Austin playing poker, but when the host said they would be featuring Austin White, she sat up straight and barely breathed.

The host explained how Austin had won a local tournament online before registering for this WPT major event.

"I wanted to play, but didn't have anywhere near the money for the entry fee until my boss at the horse stables where I was working handed me a check for nearly $10,000 one day out of the blue. He told me the donor wanted to remain anonymous, but I knew her horses had just been sold so I knew where the money came from."

"Sounds like a very generous woman, Austin. Anything you'd like to say to her?"

He laughed then said, "There's almost no chance she'll ever see this, but just in case..."

He looked into the camera and said, "I really did mean it when I told you you were one of the most beautiful women I've ever met and if you're free...and interested...I'd like nothing more than to see you again."

He talked a bit about his past, how he learned to play poker when he was in juvenile hall, and how much he loved the game. The host, in turn, congratulated him on turning his life around and wished him luck in the tournament.

Parker knew he was handsome, but she'd never seen him in anything but jeans and a cowboy hat. He was wearing a button-down shirt and a jacket and looked very...sophisticated. She'd never gotten much of a look at his hair before, either, but it looked unbelievably thick and sexy.

She turned around when she heard a young woman say to her girlfriend, "Damn, that guy is HOT!"

Her friend said, "He could SO do me right here, right now!"

After a brief flash of jealousy, Parker just sat there and smiled. She intended to watch every minute of the tournament then find someplace quiet where she could make a phone call.

She was incredibly disappointed when he was the second player to get knocked out. She was thrilled for him, though, when she saw he was taking home a little over $132,000 while the winner would receive nearly $600,000. Now she understood what Pete was saying about not being able to afford to compete with poker when it came to Austin's salary.

The tournament wasn't live, so it wasn't as though his phone would ring on national television. Parker just hoped he would answer as there were a lot of questions she wanted to ask him. When the show ended she went outside and sat in the rental car she was driving and scrolled through her phone contacts.

Her heart was racing when she found his name and was pounding like crazy when she hit dial. It rang three times and she almost hung up when she heard his voice.

"Joan? Joan Lunden, is that you?"

His voice sounded playful and her tummy did a flip when she heard him speak.

"Yes. That's me only with a 'u'," she said smiling from ear to ear.

"And an 'e', right?"

Parker laughed then said, "Oh, my goodness! Austin, I just watched you on TV!"

"Oh, right. My blazing fifth-place finish. I have you to thank for that, by the way," he said. "Not for finishing fifth but for being able to enter. That was you, wasn't it, Parker?"

"Maybe," she said just as playfully.

"I can't thank you enough. If you'll tell me your address I'll send you a check immediately."

"I don't want the money, Austin," she told him. "I'm just really happy for you!"

"Well, thank you, but I feel like I need to pay you back."

"Thank you, but that's not necessary," she assured him.

"Okay. Again, thank you so very much."

There was a pause before he said, "So...where are you? Did you leave town?"

Parker explained where she was and why without going into detail.