All Comments on 'Staying Close to My Sister'

Excellent first try. Definitely worth a sequel.

.......I'd go nutso for such stories [read: Pregnancy]. Brill of a concept but just poorly executed. No tension, no consequences & "Mom's approval" + acceptance?

Tolerant family? Seriously? More like a family of deviant-porn sociopaths, especially in Elizabeth.

Great sex, a reasonable effort at storytelling but a retarded 2nd/3rd act & ending. Here's hoping your next take will be great.

Damn great for a first, congrats on that!

The story itself was superb, from the sweet love of normal siblings it grew into purest love that will keep them together forever. And to see how mom actually, though unintentionally, encouraged it and finally accepted and shared it makes it all so much sweeter. I'm a sucker for stories where siblings grew up with love that later turned them to lovers and where parents support them.

Sure there were a few grammar mistakes here and there (mostly wrong autocorrect) but nothing that would deteriorate the worth of the story, normal for every writer here at some stage in life.

Of course I would love to se Ch. 2 with more of their sweet loving and to see how they present themselves in real life outside their home, would they be bro & sis at work or just a hot young couple, what will friends and family say, they need an official first date somewhere nice - such great potential for future instalments.

5* is a given!!!

Definitely not average. Maybe a part 2?

Yes definitely a part two, and maybe three and more?

Please do another one or two

I agree that there seems to be a lack of tension, a problem to be resolved.

Also it seems to switch between a romantic story and a stroker with dialogue like "fuckstick", "cumdumpster" and "bitches for life". Make your mind up which mood you are going for and then continue.

4 stars

continue

i liked it best when it was romantic you should stick to only romantic in the first couple of chapters then maybe they experiment a bit and she finds out she wants to be her brothers submissive or something i wish you hadn't included the mother either way.

It was a great story I li ed it more u have a talent

Yes, a great story ! HOT and arousing ... a very open Mom and sister plus they are so horny for him; that now they are going to stay together. Interesting with the alpha male comments. Love is a big factor and hopefully, they will grow their mutual relationship as mates and sexually. Mom can teach them and they can adapt their knowledge learned to make things even better. Hopefully, his Mom's co-workers and others will accept this relationship as loving, caring and very unique. Cannot wait for more chapters. Thank you !

YES , PLEASE ! Do a part 2 and more .

You Dammm well better believe it! and even more! I've got a feeling in my pants that has been absent for the last couple of years! MORE - MORE!!!

Hell yes ! We need part 2

Can't wait for next chapter. Thanks 5 Stars

Certainly got a lot into one story. Started very well but moved too quickly with little build up. “Don’t Be A Fool, Stay in School”

yes please add onto this story. already a great start

About as sexy as changing a tire. Have you even read a good incest story? Don't give up your day job!

for your first I think you nailed it for me. keep going with this one.

Good job pn your first work. Keep it up. I sure would like a part 2!

It was very good I really liked it would really want a part 2 keep up the good work

Was good until mom left for work. Where's the taboo? The conflict? build up? Also it moved away from romantic to sicko too fast and inorganically.

On the plus side, you do have a knack for storytelling as was evident from the beginning. Next time, try focusing on build up and sense of wrongfulness. It is thrilling and arousing, and will make every sex scene you write much hotter than cumdumpster and such. You won't even need it if you set it up correctly.

As editing goes, I would separate the storytelling bits from the dialogue. It will be clearer to see which is which. All and all, not bad.

how are you going to talk about the babies?

I think you started with something good, tender, then it went off the rails. The dialog went especially crazy, needlessly.

Personally I'd go for more realism.

I really kind of liked this story, but I also read it with at least a little tongue in cheek. All of these stories require a bit of "suspension of disbelief" but the line by the mom, "VIOLATE THE SACRED PLACE WHERE YOU AND YOU SISTER WERE MADE!" was over the top at least as far as I am concerned. If you were kidding, then thanks because it gave me a grin. Keep writing!

being liberal mean the women can and are fucking sluts and men are man whores. cute...

Enjoyed it as much the second TIME.

You got me interested in this little family but the porno-screaming in all-caps distracts from the flow. It would have been better and more credible if they didn't go from zero to 100 in terms of going down the road of taboo sex like that. Normally there's at least some reluctance or a conversation for more than thirty seconds before sibling then parent start begging to be fucked and even impregnated by your amazing boy-hero.

Hopefully you nab an editor for your next chapters so the mistakes get caught before publishing. Even a quick proofread by a friend can help greatly. As long as the all-caps insults don't get worse, I'd like to see how your writing develops.

Good job.

One of the hottest stories I’ve ever read.

Not a fan of all the give me a baby talk but hot as hell!!!

Good story. Keep'em coming.

It was indeed a great story! I can't wait to read the second part. Well written with correct spelling and punctuation. Thank you for that!

I couldn't get into it. It started ok, nice gimmick of the brother always gets B's, what is going to happen next? he gets his A's in incest? but the story went no where. As others mentioned, no tension, everything just happens perfectly out of nowhere, no build up, mom thinks the daughter skipping college is great and they can all work together. At least the son tried for 2 years and got his AA degree.

I could see the sister saying no college just to stay close to the brother but if she is that smart she should go to college and as long as they still live together how is it different then him in community college while she finished high school. Not like they would have the same classes even at the same college.

Him leaving college and working with his mom would give the together time for them to move towards a physical relationship (time together to talk, commuting together, having lunch etc) while the brother and sister are basically already there at the beginning of the story.

So characters being dumb in life choices and then on top of it, personal pet peeve, is the paragraph of yelling. Who yells for that long? It loses the impact for me when the yelling goes on so long that the character would have to take 2 or 3 breaths to get through it.

Yeah, what was2015 said.

Also, this is just a lazy stroke fantasy, so if this is the best you can do, then I can only give it one star.

That's because there ain't anything less.

lved it

Mom and Sis in a threesome what a way to start a new family dynamic! Obviously they are living in that alternate universe where the genetic reason for avoiding incest do not apply. A great start to what promises to be a well thought out and written story. I look forward to reading the next chapter. As this is my first foray into your writing and the first story you posted here I have added you to my favorites list. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Over the top fantasy, but if you are going to start somewhere, go big!

Mom converted a little quickly, but other than that, quality fever dream!