All Comments on 'Staying Dead'

He's to much of a push over. Never would happen. Keep writing. I like your past stories.

Tough, sad, then heart-wrenching story. At the end: realistic, hopeful.

At least the second part when he returned home. A sad tale with a hopeful conclusion. Thanks

This reminded me of the movie Cast Away where the Tom Hanks character survives a plane crash as the sole inhabitant of a tiny island in the Pacific. Several times he contemplates suicide but soldiers on. He begins talking to Wilson the volleyball and somehow survives and even thrives by the force of his will. One thing helping him was a picture of his fiancee (maybe wife?) played by Helen Hunt. Eventually Hanks builds a primitive raft and puts to sea to meet his fate. He is rescued and returned to civilization after several years alone on the island. He returns home only to find the Hunt character has (re-?) married and has kids. She offers to leave them all and go back to Hanks, but he knows it can't happen. Once again he is all alone, though now surrounded by people. I suppose the parallel to this story is that he should have found out what happened to those left behind and if they had moved on with their lives he should just stay lost.

5 ***** from me.

I wouldn't say this is a well constructed story , but it took the road less traveled south of the equator-wise . Kudos for that . Yet anyone who signs up for the CIA wet-work has an elastic moral-mind set and indefinite allegiance if not allergy to conventional family foundations.

The narrator was drawn to high risk vocation and it backfired . He wasn't all-in on his family at the introduction of story and they bailed on him in the interests of day to day survival and comfort level , just as he did what he had to do in the interests of survival during his imprisonment.

I enjoyed the existential questions raised by Skippy47 . In the end , the characters gravitated to their preferred truths just as cable news consumers set preferences between Fox, MSNBC , CNN or BBC broadcasts. Lori got a husband who would be Home for 6 pm supper. Grayson got life with indigenous tribe beset by encroaching modern world and nymphet wife . Life for him , one way or another , will not be dull.

I thank the author for sharing.

The narration about him becoming a mercenary was a little hard to follow.

Should have been a page longer with more about him elevating his position within the tribe, his two wives (explicit) and his children with them who do not think of him as “an ugly old man”.

The first story I clicked on today, and it is excellent!

Thanks!!

MGM

what's he going to do? force his brother to leave? his wife would be resentful no matter his choice, his child and the bastard child would be resentful no matter his choice, and that's ignoring the slimey brother that fucked his wife before at least waiting those years.

there was no good solution. if he went guns blazing punishing the two adults, the children suffer.

he has exotic women waiting to bear his children back at the tribe. his solution makes the most sense. maybe he coulda rubbed that in their face, but he didn't.

but stay gone or M I A,,,,,,IF your psyche can agree, TK U MLJ LV NV

No. Expect at all for the brother who betrayed him. Nor the wife for that matter. He is gone and not declared dead and only a couple years in they hooked up probably long before two years. She disrespected her husband by divorcing him for abondonment so she could fuck his brother. She really didn’t Love her husband all that much obviously and confirmed it by saying she wished hevnever came back.All they wanted was his money. Only the father in law has my respect.

COLOMBIA

I have enjoyed your stories and this is no exception. My one piece of advice to you would be either have your stories Beta read or get a good editor to catch the simple mistakes.

You wrote, 'Instead of his wife, Grayson' brother Roy answered'. I know you meant Grayson's brother but that should have been caught.

Than you wrote, 'It took your parents, her parents and me to keep things together'. If Roy was grayson's brother shouldn't it have been our parents?

Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

But why go back to the jungle? I understand going back to kill the rebels and get revenge. That works. But with all the money he had from back pay and the book rolling in, why not help Roy and Millie, then get some plastic surgery, a new identity and enjoy life in another part of the world from his family? A nice house with a view, some land and whatever else he wanted would have been a much better choice than slit latrines and dodging panthers in the jungle. He had to know that his life expectancy would have been much less in the jungle. Good story until the bad choice at the end.

Where's Mgbdallas asking, "If she really, really loved him she would have waited those seven years."

Also where is it written that his brother couldn't have helped his wife without her getting a divorce and marrying him?

I enjoy your stories Skippy. Please keep writing and posting them.

I'm not sure how divorcing Gray helped Lori. The life insurance wouldn't pay until after the 7 years anyway. Roy could have been a good uncle and friend to Lori without marrying his brother's wife. At least for seven years or until a resolution came about Grayson's life. I would assume my brother is still alive unless I saw his body.

who consoled his wife when he was long gone! Some readers here want to believe in virginal self-restraint mingled with eager libidinousness in women. Too bad, no way! He's the one who was multi-unfaithful (technically), since he screwed many women before he could consider himself legally dead (seven years) and therefore divorced. In these circumstances, conventional attitudes are irrelevant!

I enjoy reading your stories Skippy. Please keep writing and posting.

I don't see how the divorce helped Lori financially. The life insurance still wouldn't be paid until the 7 years were up.

I don't see why Roy couldn't have been just a good brother-in-law/friend to Lori. At least for the 7 years or until a body is found. If my brother were missing I would always assume he's alive unless I saw his body. Why did he have to marry her and start having sex with her?

You‘ve given us a very interesting story with a different way of looking at the strength of a marriage. I would like three points on their time line clarified: 1) when did Lori request her divorce based on abandonment; 2) when did she marry Roy, 3) when was Jacob born? Those three bits of information would tell us how Lori and Roy dealt with Grayson’s capture. They knew he was alive but how did they comfort each other and when did their relationship go from support to love?

Not a knock on you at all. Both are very different, but essentially about men that disappeared (prison, jungle), tortured, "dead to the family", come back and both had moved on.

Really interesting and imaginative. Just because someone gets a shitty outcome doesn't mean that others wronged them. Neither Roy nor Lori were trying to screw him over and every evidence shows both Lori (mental breakdown, gathering money for his release, etc) and Roy loved him and pined for him. I agree with another commentator before that when you take on such dangerous jobs away from your family for years don't expect them to stick around waiting for you, much less when you disappear and are presumed dead by everyone including the government that sent you there to start with.

I remember a bunch of years ago a famous female mountain climber who was a mother to more than one child died climbing K2, which has a very high death rate. It truly upset me. You're single do whatever the fuck you want and risk your life any way you want. You have a spouse or children you have obligations to them. Your spouse supports your endeavors, that's fine if you don't have kids. Children don't know enough to give an informed consent.

Interesting story. Kind of expected him going back to the tribe. You kind of took the easy way out giving him the ability to get back to the tribe. If this was a French author the tribe would have definitely not taken him back lol, and he would have been all alone in the world. You showed your Americanism with your Hollywood ending. Also, I think Msimi waiting for him was an uncalled for knock on Lori. It was an arranged marriage with Msimi, so not a romantic love courtship, and unlikely she would have been pining and waiting for him and his very unlikely return, especially after Grayson shunned her for the white woman that was out of his life for years. It would have been enough if he got back and married Adolphoso's widow who was now available and that Msimi happened to be still be available and he married both. I don't think Lori and Roy didn't deserve that knock. Roy did the honorable thing taken over the responsibility of the irresponsible brother taking too high a risk with his pregnant bride's welfare.

Helen Hunt on “Cast a way” waited on Tom Hanks longer than the slut he married. Hell she was ready to leave her husband for him. The dude got fucked over in every way possible. His wife, brother, even the CIA did him better than the whore he Married.

This is a site for SEX stories; not high school writing class

Quit whining. Mr Spec Op stepped out on his own wife just to show respect to another man's wife and was seriously considering the rape of a 15 year old kid. There are no saints here, only people dealing with hard circumstances. It's kind of bleak, and staying the story in LW with a spec ops character is grating enough without someone like you throwing over the top BTB nonsense in it

Kudos for trying something different, stretching yourself as a writer and us as readers. An editor could have helped you, as I suspect you know, but the story telling was top notch. I've never been in a situation anything like what these characters experienced, so I can't say what I would have done. I'm glad it seems like they've all found a way to be happy and find love. Well done, Skippy. (Somehow that name doesn't resonate with a serious tale like this one.)

GA

His wife makes a cruel remark and instead of dealing with it. He runs back to the jungle to live a life as a nomad. His saviors daughter still waited for him. He turns over his small fortune to his wife and brother . He did nothing wrong . Who would go back to a life in a jungle with these backwood,uneducated ,savages. No electric,medicine, or anything . No very likely or believable. Also the CIA owed him more than back pay for the touture he endured.

"It took a couple of months before he could make my way back to the Ufuri"

It took a couple of months before he could make HIS way back to the Ufuri.

So many errors like that right through this whole story!

This plot line has been done to death. I knew the end result before I finished the first paragraph. (Sarc tag)

Fun story. Thank you very much! To those who think the wife and brother were bad people, I say get over yourselves. She had been dealing with his kidnappers and every indication pointed to her husband being dead. A brother steps in to look after her and they fall in love, actually a very logical conclusion. As for her saying that she wishes he was dead. You have to remember that that was a discussion with her husband about the huge decisions they had to make and the feeling she had for both the brother who is her current husband and her former husband. She love them both and the husband coming back, forced her to have to make some very difficult decisions that probably no one in real life is ever had to make.

Again, thanks for the great story. Just the right amount of description so that a very complete story can get told in 15 or 20 minutes.

is so riddled with stereotypes that is makes further reading worthless. CIA my foot.

How can you claim that a husband being kidnapped is equivalent to abandonment? Wouldn't the courts require the 7 year wait so that a man in captivity does not lose his family and assets? I just think his parents would have stepped in to require the brother to sheath his cock until his brother's fate was actually known.

A good plot idea reasonably executed. Thank you for your time and effort.

Keep posting.

Is absent..

Another divergent path for one of your stories. I look forward to each one, never knowing what is coming. I enjoyed this one very much. Wife jumped the gun with Roy, but at least Roy was respectful. I would like to see him use some of his money to arm his tribesmen , his Special Forces expertise to train them and get revenge on the rebels. The CIA would probably be delighted to help. Whatever your next project is, I'm looking forward to it.

Should've spent the money on jungle gear and supplies. Not donating it to those who wished him dead.

Yes, we've seen this story before.

People missing and then coming back.

Very well done in the film Cast Away (2000),

with the great actor Tom Hanks.

There is pain.

It can't be avoided.

Here Skippy47 writes a very believable story

of someone missing coming back.

We can argue the need to write about such pain.

But not the quality of this writing.

Top ratings from me.

Not too badly done , although you did telegraph the ending from the first phone call with his brother .

As i said , reminded me exactly of the ending of Castaway , minus Wilson .

The whole story sound quite reasonable to me. The commentary seemed a bit over the top, especially the Anon who cried rape. From history we can tell that most of the women had their first child before they turned sixteen or were considered old maids.

Do not forget, when in Rome do -----

Good point! I hadn't thought of that, there's no way that he can be accused of "abandonment" when he's known to be in captivity.

I don’t know if, after being brought up in western society, one could prefer tribal life. The dental plan for one thing would be a deal breaker. The tale is told pretty efficiently, but the dialog when he got home was pretty stilted. Didn’t really get a sense how his wife felt, and saying “oh no, he heard us” was telegraphing too much. Just some small things here and there.

This would make a better movie. Gave it 5 . Easy call.

Potentially interesting story line limited by the writing. Sentence structure gives no flow.

The potential in this saga is substantial. However, We-The-Readers are introduced to Sweetie and Future Daughter in one narrated sentence. Thus, we only know of Hubby’s valuing of them, rather than hearing some of his and her life from them. In short, WTRs don’t know Sweetie until years later, near the story finale.

Then, there is way too much detail (reading time) given to Hubby’s travails with the rebels. Further, that time is totally narrated. Hubby’s story ... not told by Hubby. Reasonable in this case, but like reading a (long) history book. A little less narration was possible telling about Hubby’s life among the Ufari, but some of the story was carried by the characters.

4*

Sorry ... the Ufuri.

Post Script: the country is ColOmbia.

It nags at me, in the back of my head; it feels a little like he went after Lori for the insurance money to begin with. Although, thinking along other lines: if she had sought a divorce on the grounds of abandonment; wouldn't really have a claim on his insurance money anymore. And, you could count on the insurance company to fight to not pay that out.

Any way you look at it though, Roy & Lori would've probably alienated a lot of family members; besides just her father.

It also calls into question how much did she really hold out for him making him promise the way she did in the beginning, then getting remarried barely a few years after his capture.

Just think it was a little too nice if him to give them all the money & proceeds after her wishing he had stayed "dead". I would've said screw them at that point; shows how much they care about someone just to have that thought cross their mind, let alone voice it.

no winner here-only losers

Would have liked a postscript that Lori was back in a hospital or mental institution. Everyone would think it but no one would be stupid enough to say it especially a former " loving " wife!!! Kill her off!

There's a fair bit of character and plot stuff in this story that could have used some common sense editing, and an actual editor to call out the author on his choices, but the main problem is a whole lot of telling and not enough showing.

Most of the story feels more like an extended summary rather than an immersive narrative.

The child was born before Lily and Roy we’d hence the bastard tag

ReedRichards The Antiq World full of mitological stories where the son is sired other for example gods or heroes (heros-es) and sons kill the not DNA relative fathers!

Modern movies show the not DNA relative children discover their genetic fathers and they shit on their good (step, not genetic) fathers after this.

What this stories show the DNA relativity could be important for a family healthy life and the not DNA relative child and his/her good connection to his/her not DNA relative father in the knowledge of the truth IS A ROMANTIC PLOT for the authors!

It may be better for a viril father with good, many, sperm cells and the kids, if he sired his kids in a marriage!

Less male people think today that the marriage as an important state for the male and one of main causes is the "bastard" kids problem in the marriage!!!!!!!!!!!!

should be a second chapter to where lori divorces roy and does find grayson

Decent plot line however the telling was just that, flat telling. The sense I got from the main character was not one torn between decisions rather someone very depressive.

Get an editor, fix the story and republish. It would make for a really good tale.

nice read, very enjoyable

I want to like the story, but I don't like how he just left without talking to them. He needed to tell them what he proposed. With the ending now it's too late for a second chanccchapter.

But was not fleshed out wrll enough to quite get there. The characters acted in ways that defied credibility. A poor mans “Castaway”, this coulda ben a 5 star with more insight into the emotion of Grayson & Lori etc

What scum of a brother did he have. I’m totally against when a person dies and a relative or close friend start a relationship. I find that to be very low and disrespectful even if the other is dead. Even a fallen cop or fireman or soldier who’s wife hooks up with a fellow from the job . It’s like shitting on the dead guys existiance

And: It took a couple of months before he could make my way back to the Ufuri.

He/my, etc. Work on it, Skippy!

Typical mouthy wife.

What an emotional story. Some others have been placed in similar situations durning wartime. Injured, captured, loss of memories and other reasons. After a period of years a normal return to a former life “as it was” would be nearly impossible. I thought you did a truly remarkable job in writing your story from so many points of view. Thanks for sharing. A Five!!!

But I didn’t like the way it ended. That’s probably because I’m not nearly as altruistic as Grayson was. I think I would have started by filing a lawsuit to get the divorce rescinded, since it was filed for under false pretenses. He did NOT abandon his wife, he was kidnapped. Of course, when the divorce was nullified, so would be the marriage of Lori and Roy. Yeah, my story would have ended differently.

This is a tough one because there is so little information to go on. To short and more real feelings, discussion and emotions are needed for the reader to make an informed decision. This is a good story and could be Great. knowing what Roy and Lori's thoughts and feelings would have really helped. throwing in a partially overheard sentence reminds me of a Three's Company episode "I wish that he had never come back" . Dropping him hearing the first word "SOMETIMES" is a cheap short cut for him running away and you are a better writer than having to use it. Convenient that he let himself in and was early too, another cheap plot ploy. Also, how does Gray know they are way in debt? They discussed that issue BEFORE he arrived. Run away, go hide in the Jungle and play Tarzan for a few years before you die. Heck there were only a "few left who knew him". With all his money and some reconstructive surgery the facial Tat could be fixed, the money and possible movie deal would bring all the woman he could handle vs a few years in the Jungle where civilization will over run the few who are left.

Thanks.

WTH how can you really expect us veterans to believe that he would give that whore bitch anything but what those rebels got. That whore couldn’t wait the allotted 7 years proving she had no intention of waiting...you get one star for being a total blank...

Drop the vet crap. Most of you get married to random skanks just to get out of the black-mold infested barracks while doubling your wage. Might as well just find someone you hate and buy them a house, tbh.

The story was kinda dull and soulless but worth more than one star. I gave it three.

Not a good ending....how about a chapter 2....brother gets caught cheating and Gray comes home to claim his wife and kid? The great LW stories have two main parts.... offended party gets done wrong big time.....then in the end gets either revenge and/or a new and better life.

I can't think of any solution better than ending

4 stars

How sad.

I doubt she could have filed for abandonment under the circumstances and would have had to wait the 7 years to have him declared dead.

Dreadful story. 2*s.

dissemble means to lie, not to tear down the camp. good story

OMG, commenters get real. 1532 known Vietnam POW/MIA's never came home. 82000 Korean POW/MIA never came home. Wonder how many Nam MIA's did come home after 1976, but had to abandon their families and change their identities promising to never make family contact to get the State Dept to allow them entry to the USA? And if they made family contact or talked all would just vanish. Or if they did not accept those conditions these POW would be institutionalized by the State Dept, forever. How much did the USA pay Laos & Cambodia to insure no MIA's ever got out alive? Conspiracy crap - hell look at what the FBI/CIA/HLS/State did to try and impeach a President.

*

Sure this was about South America and it was up to Gray's family to work out the $wap not the State Dept (for the CIA), that alone is very telling in this story? Remember, Lori was just his wife, not a filtered/trained/harden military person - not all people handle this type of stress reasonably.

*

Gray endured to see his family - he focused and drove himself to endure and live for that minuscule hope of feeling his wife's embrace. We who have endured captivity have had the same driving desire for life/family. I saw his return to the tribe before he ever left the tribe, it was the only solution, just glad Gray had a tribe to go to. Nam POW/MIA's never did.

*

Solid 5*, Hooyah, salute!

As soon as Gray showed up, Roy should have divorced Lori. She was married to Gray longer! Roy took advantage of Lori’s grief. Roy was a rotten brother. Even Lori’s parents hated Roy for marrying Lori!

Skippy, you know you are a good writer when 75 percent of the people commenting forget that IT IS A STORY - a good one but still . . . . Thank you.

Lori should have waited the seven years in order to declare Grayson legally dead. It would have been the honorable thing to do. Would it have been difficult and painful for her? Yes! Of Course! But, doing the the right thing is, very often, a difficult thing to do.

Good, but sad story. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Thank-you

Pasqual

Story rings true. Stirred up old feelings. Can't stand comments like KRD29254 trying to whitewash the most despicable President in history. Poor analogy. There has always been secrets and wrong doing. I dont apologize for them. Some disgust me. But I will NEVER let comments defending Trump pass without mention. They didnt belong in any analysis of this story anyway.

need a sequel

Some brutal comments !

Martyr husband and cunt of a wife and brother.

A lovely heart warming story! AAAA++++

Pathetic cuck gave all his 💰 ney to the whore and he s shit sucking snake brother .

Pathetic .

One star

So many ignorant comments on a story that is different and well thought out. Keep writing stories!!

Ike’s it

Who would chose to "stay dead" and go back to live a primitive life in the jungle? Insane choice. Just let the wife be, move to the other end of the country and live a great life. The Jungle my ass!

Actually, this story could have been true. Combat veterans know........

A very good realistic story,not hard to believe it was not a true life event. The wife going on with life does not deserve crucification. Its real life. Going back to live in the jungle is more than a stretch, but as this story is presented, it is plausible. I have to concede this is one of your better stories.

Nice one.

An interesting tale using a rare theme in the LW section. The one main problem I have with the story is how the MC pretty much allowed himself to be Stockholm Syndromed into the tribe. I also have to agree with the FIL that the wife could have waited for the 7 years to have him declared legally dead. Having the wife and Roy have money problems seemed like a cheap way to have the hubby leave them everything and just disappear to the tribe that enslaved him.

I can't give this 5*, but it's better than a just a 4. It currently is sitting at 4.38*, which seems fair.

F the wife and brother 2 stars why help them out after his brother moved in? His daughter yes they others nope

I hated to appreciate this or its ending, but you did well. 6.

A broad story on many different levels that turned out to be a good read. Some is far fetched, but life at times is stranger than fiction. Thanks for writing a good story.

The country is Colombia not Columbia. BTW Columbia is another name for the United States.

BTW 4 Stars...

I got to be honest I don't really like this story I don't see why he would give his ex-wife all the money

It’s your typical SIMP Mentality ending. Why would you leave your ex- wife and family anything. You have guys missing since Vietnam and Korea. And their wives didn’t move on until years later. A few waited till him or his body was returned. And I’ll willing to bet if he came back and she was married with a couple of children with another man, he wouldn’t go here is all my money for you and your family.

Great yarn and great advice, "Stay dead."

"Being dead, there are some things I no longer need. You will be receiving notice soon that your house, cars and college funds for the kids have been paid for thanks to the book advance and royalties from book sales. If you have any questions, contact my lawyer. He has been given Power of Attorney to act on my behalf. My last salary from my days as a mercenary should arrive soon, too. In seven years, you can have me declared dead and collect my life insurance."

Virtue signaling bullshit. Pandering to the audience with LW cliches is quite common (they are "cliches", after all) detracts from your - or any author's writing. Unlike most authors, you can do better.

Not that you can blame him for escaping when he had the chance but, from what Roy & Lori told him that was actually when he was going to be ransomed for real and he could have gone home to his family.

Lori became a monster and so did his Roy. Gray was back, and his brother should have just been looking out for Lori, providing comfort even if it meant sex but he should have never married her. And when Gray cam back he should have stepped down as husband, even if Lori didn't want Gray back.

But Roy took her. It makes me sad

I would love to see a part 2 where this event--Gray leaving after hearing his wife wished he'd never returned--drove a wedge between Roy and Lori ending in their split.

Then everyone could end in misery instead of just Gray

Well done.....

How come Roy and Lori were not short of money until Gray came back.If they were short of money ,why did they have a second child?.

Daaaaaaaaaaamn.

Great story for many genre.

I could see this thing expanded to be much longer with details from all three adults.