Stephanie Opens Up

"You might want to touch and squeeze your thighs or breasts too," Lisa told her. "And think about someone who turns you on. Simon, Lily, some hot celebrity... I like to think about Johnny Depp, Patrick Swayze, Kurt Russell... Winona Ryder, Halle Berry, or Ally Sheedy if I'm in the mood for a girl. Yes, they're straight, far as I know, but I can imagine otherwise, right? You can too. Just remember the differences between reality and imagination."

Stephanie blinked, staring at Lisa. "What about Tess? You ever think about Tess?" Tess Winfield was Lisa's best friend her last two years of high school, a fellow cheerleader and infrequent sleepover guest at their house. Lisa had made out with her several times during their slumber parties. Steph had joined in their kissing games a few times. And Stephanie had always thought when she went back to her own room at night, left them alone in Lisa's room, that Lisa and Tess had...

"Sometimes, sure," Lisa said, smiling. "But we haven't banged each other yet. She wanted to do it, but I thought we should get more experienced first."

I can understand that, Stephanie thought, listening. Our high school wasn't the best environment for lesbians either. The cheer captain of Lisa's squad was a total prude and many students followed her lead. I sometimes dared to hope things could be different my senior year. Of course, I never really thought about acting on it. Now... "You've been in college three months now, Lisa. Have you had sex with a girl?"

"No," Lisa admitted, shrugging. "I'm waiting for the right one. Haven't felt that spark with anyone yet. My new roommate is nice and pretty, but I'm not sure of her preferences yet. We've only known each other a week. And no one else has excited me. Tess and I have an agreement. She went to a lesbian bar and let herself get picked up. I haven't been that daring yet. I'm seeing her in New York in December, though. We'll bang each other then. If I haven't banged any other women before then, she'll be my first."

Stephanie grinned, holding the vibrator and staring at Lisa. Okay, she thought, this is a signal to me. My sister... I didn't think she was a lesbian virgin. Wow. I... I should see what incest is like, why Lily let herself get into it. Lisa turns me on. I have told other people I think she's beautiful, and it's no lie. I have kissed her before, made out, been envious of her sex life at times, before I came of age. Now that I'm finally an adult and I know she hasn't been with a woman... Stephanie sat up and looked directly at Lisa.

"Can you kiss me?" she asked. "Like we used to do at slumber parties? Get me excited a bit?"

Lisa raised an eyebrow. "Sure, but... I'm not going all the way with you, Stephanie. Mom and Dad might catch us. I don't know how they'd feel about incest between us."

She was covering that her confidence issue with loving women was also rearing its head. The first woman who had kissed Lisa had not been attractive to her. She'd liked the softness of the kiss, but the butch tattooed biker Gecko had not excited her. Nor had any of the other women in the Reptiles biker gang with whom she'd spent a summer vacation learning to ride motorbikes- only the men had sparked her in the right way. Lisa was glad the gang women had been ultimately willing to keep their distance from her while she enjoyed sex with the guys. When she got back to school, Tess had sparked her interest when they kissed, and Stephanie also, but Lisa cared so much about them. She wanted to make things right for them and herself. If she couldn't do things right... she'd had such doubts with men too, but they were more aggressive and it was never hard for her to please them. There were other concerns too, of course. Society's approval, her peers'...

Stephanie interrupted her chaotic thought processes. "You don't have to take me all the way. Just kiss me and then this machine can do the rest, right?" Part of Stephanie hoped Lisa would change her mind during their kissing. She found herself looking at Lisa from a sexual viewpoint now. Considering her soft oval face, their sisterly connection, the juncture of her thighs, her breasts, her lips... Stephanie felt herself tingling again just as she had when she and Lily embraced. And if she could take this encounter to completion... She wondered if Lisa could see the thoughts behind her eyes.

Lisa put her notepad down, stood up, and walked to the couch. She sat down beside Stephanie, stroked her hair, then her face. Lisa placed one hand on her sister's hand that held the vibrator, guided it to Stephanie's crotch. Stephanie was wearing jean shorts. Lisa unbuttoned her fly and slid the vibrator into it and against her sister's panties. "Flick it on when you're ready," she whispered, positioning Stephanie's thumb at the vibrator's switch but not activating it. "And relax." Lisa then leaned in and touched her lips against her sister's.

Stephanie felt her heart hammering. Lisa's mouth was hard and firm on hers, full of promise. She had no doubt her sister loved her. Perhaps if they were alone in the house... no, she would not think about that. Or maybe she should. Lisa had convinced her masturbation was good, and she wanted to now, so much. Just thinking about it, about climaxing, and finally...

Lisa's hands were stroking the back of Stephanie's head as they kissed. Then they were roaming down her body. Squeezing her shoulders and her breasts. Caressing her stomach and thighs. Brief touches, enticing, not serious, but... Stephanie found herself wishing Lisa had more confidence.

Lisa felt temptation rising, nearly but not quite overwhelming her. Just as it always had with Tess, maybe even more so. She wanted to give in, but... no, she told herself even as Stephanie's nipples grew hard under her palms, even as they touched tongues, even as she smelled her sister's arousal. She couldn't touch her, not like this. No! Lisa reached down and activated the vibrator, moved quickly away from her sister.

"Hey!" Stephanie gasped, staring at her. Her hands were waving frantically. "You... please... you can't just..."

"I can," Lisa said, grimacing. "I can and I will. You touch yourself however you like, dear sister. I'll be outside." She waved at Stephanie, leapt to her feet, then hurried out of the room, trying to calm her nerves.

Stephanie grimaced, then shrugged. She had to do as Lisa demanded. Lisa's touches had made her hot, and the vibrator was still buzzing away. The need in her was insistent and increasingly pervasive. Damn it, why had Lisa had kept to the terms she'd set? Why did she have to be so hot now, and unsatisfied? Why...?

I have to touch myself, Stephanie thought. And I will. She pushed the vibrator into her cunt with one hand, squeezed her breasts with the other. Her fingers did feel nice on her body, and so did the twitching plastic of the Companion. Stephanie formed images in her mind. Lisa's soft lips, her loving hands. Lily's more experienced touches, her hopes. Simon also, his patient knowing lips, his support of her as a friend to whom she wanted to give herself one day. Other cute people she knew flashed into her thoughts. Attractive celebrities, imaginary beautiful women and handsome men. Knowledgeable people she liked. One person in particular excited her, a guy she knew online with whom she enjoyed talking tech savvy. Kim was his name, he was Stephanie's age, lived in Beaumont, and knew computers as well as she did. Stephanie wondered if he was hot. She hoped he was. She imagined him as the hottest young Asian man she could picture, recalling he'd said he was half Chinese when she'd asked him about his ancestry. Kim was there touching her, she imagined, so were Lisa, and Lily, and Simon, and... she rubbed her own body faster and with more intensity, images flashing in her mind. She held the vibrator firm between her legs, let her thoughts reach peaks, abandoned herself to her desires, and then...

"YES!!! AHHH!! AHHH!!!"

In the hall outside, Lisa heard Stephanie scream and smiled. I wish I could see her doing that, she thought. Glad she finally has allowed herself to enjoy such thoughts fully. I did earlier in life, that skiing accident in my adolescence I barely survived focused my thinking even though I publicly kept to society's demands... but not everyone can be me.

"Ahem." Someone coughed behind her.

Lisa turned and gasped, seeing Eileen Coleman standing behind her with crossed arms. "Hey Mom. Uh..."

"I was walking by your room to the wine cellar," Eileen said, shaking her head. "I can hear what's going on in there now. That buzz. Those shouts. It sounds... like life." She placed a hand on her chest and smiled widely, showing all her teeth.

Lisa thought quickly, decided not to deny anything her mother might suspect. But not confirm it either, not unless it was necessary. Maybe...

Eileen dropped her hand and looked directly at Lisa. "I raised you both. I loved you. I've given you weapons, taught you techniques, endowed you with knowledge. But you are adults now. There is nothing more for me to give you. All that's left for you to take is... your freedom, by your own hands. I have to support that. My children must live. And in that life, there can be no defeat. Only lasting victory and survival. That is your destiny. Battle may be endless for you, but... retreat is not an option."

"Not even tactical retreat?" Lisa dared to counterpoint, confused.

"Temporary tactical retreat?" Eileen asked with a knowing smirk. "Prelude to re-engagement? Yes, perhaps that could be allowed." Then her expression changed. "Lisa, I need to ask you something. Are you and Stephanie... breaking certain unjust laws?"

She knows, Lisa realized. Mom knows Stephanie and I were kissing and we almost banged. Shit. I...

Eileen placed a finger on her own lips, then dropped it and smiled. "It's fine, Lisa. I knew plenty of siblings and cousins in my old commune who... fooled around. They were consenting adults. If you and Stephanie are also... your father and I will practice willful ignorance. So will Darcy. We have seen you kissing each other before and discussed what else might happen between you two. You don't want to marry your sister or anything like that, right?"

"No," Lisa affirmed, relaxing. "I'm not into her romantically, just... casually."

"That is acceptable," Eileen said after a pause. "As long as you keep it casual, no, there is no problem. I grew up without siblings. Even if I'd had siblings, my parents... they were so repressed, the sort of people I had to escape. I was not like them. I like to think I have raised my own children in my own different better way. I know I do not want them to feel they have to accept any repression they do not desire. Do as you will, Lisa, try not to harm. Remember to stay within accepted patterns on the surface. Tell your sister the same." She winked.

"Thank you, Mom," Lisa said, ordering herself to stay calm. She didn't like her mother knowing of her skirting society's rules, but since Eileen wasn't condemning her... "Thank you." Lisa did not want more from her mother than what she had already received.

"I wish you luck." Eileen shook her head, patting Lisa on the shoulder. "Both of you. When you go back in there, remind Stephanie I will need help with dinner soon." She walked past Lisa towards the stairs.

Lisa released several breaths. As usual, her mother didn't confirm that she was spying on her children, but she didn't deny it either. Lisa hoped she could be confident her mother would not do anything crazy. She was not a passive-aggressive person, right? No, her mother had never shown any sign of that. And she had challenged Lisa but supported her also. That was good. Stop thinking about it, she decided. Relax.

She tapped on the door of her room. "Stephanie? You okay in there?"

"Yes!" Stephanie called out. "Come in if you want! We can..."

"No!" Lisa cut her off. Just because Mom might ignore our incest doesn't mean I want to bang my sister, she thought frantically, at least not yet. I did diagnose myself as a nymphomaniac, after all, and vow to manage my condition as best I can. If I can achieve high quality sex on my own terms and accept myself as a positive slut, encourage others to do the same, it doesn't have to be a bad thing, right?

"Not yet," she assured Stephanie through the door. "After Christmas, after I get with Tess, I'll get with you then. Okay?"

"You promise?" Stephanie asked.

"I..." Lisa's heart was rapid again. Part of her still thought the idea was wrong, but... if she and Stephanie both enjoyed it... she wanted to do it, no matter what society thought. "Yes. If you still want me at Christmas, I promise I will be with you."

"Thank you! Hopefully, I'll have made up with Lily by then!"

"I hope so too. Mom wants help fixing dinner. Come upstairs soon, okay?" Lisa released a sigh, then walked in the same direction her mother had gone.

Inside the bedroom, Stephanie relaxed, having heard Lisa's entire conversation with Eileen. She was feeling content now, a warm afterglow suffusing her. Hope, resolve, and calm- knowledge that everything would now proceed on her own terms. She hoped she was on the right path.

I will deal with the necessities of my life, she decided. But I will keep experiencing the pleasure I just had and more, whenever I can. She put her fingers between her pussy's lips, then raised them to her mouth and licked them, smiling at the taste of her orgasmic fluids. The vibrator was still twitching inside her. Stephanie withdrew it, shut it off, tucked it away. She would use it again later. For the present, fixing dinner was a good way to help her organize her thoughts.

She rearranged her clothes to cover herself, then headed out of the room.

***

Stephanie did not tell Lisa, but soon after their initial coupling, she reached a decision. She would hold back her sexual desires a bit longer. She wanted to make up with Lily, yes, but she also wanted Lisa to be her first lover if possible. And she wanted to go all the way with her before anyone else. Lisa might have issues loving her confidently, but Stephanie had no such qualms. Just being together, loving each other... she did not need more than that from anyone. But her first lover had to be the person who excited her and respected her in the best combination. So she would get her first sexual experience with a partner from Lisa, since Lisa had been so good to her, better than anyone else. As long as Lisa kept her promise...

She ate dinner with her family that night, and was glad no one brought up anything sexual. Francis and Eileen only nodded at her, discussed other things, and ate. This was relaxing to Stephanie in many ways. The next evening, after organizing her thoughts further, she called Lily and explained what she had done with Lisa and what she wanted to happen next.

"I want to get with you too," Stephanie said. "Just not yet, okay?"

"Are you punishing me?" Lily asked.

"No!" Stephanie said at once. Then she grimaced, thinking about things. "Okay, well, maybe a little. And yeah, I know, I'm probably punishing myself unnecessarily too, if you're going to say that next. But I have to do this at my own pace, okay? I can't let anyone push me into things, not even you! I love you, but I'm... I'm doing this at my own pace! And you pushed me too far, too fast! We need to slow this down, Lily! I still want to be with you, just at my own pace. Okay?"

Lily shrugged after considering things a bit. "Fine. I hear make-up sex is great. I can wait four months for it. You better not deny me!"

"I won't!" Stephanie assured her. "In fact, if Lisa backs out at some point, I'll get with you immediately at the next opportunity. Or if she does get with me, when we plan or sooner, I'll let you get with me right after that."

"That works," Lily sighed, shaking her head on the other end of the phone. Damn, she thought, I didn't know Stephanie was this repressed or selfish. Oh well, she's still my friend, and I still want her, so I will wait for her as long as I must. She released a heavy sigh. "What about my brother? Will you...?"

"Maybe. I haven't decided yet. Don't tell him about this, please. I'll call him soon, okay?"

Lily was fine with that. She chatted with Stephanie a bit more about the upcoming school year. They agreed to resume their friendly relationship, and make out every now and then. But Stephanie would not go all the way with Lily until the matter with Lisa was resolved. "No one owns me but me!" she declared with confidence. "That's how it works!"

"If that's what you want, fine," Lily told her, grimacing. "Whatever." After a bit more chatting about dates Lily had that weekend with two guys she was seeing, they finally hung up.

Stephanie called Simon the next day after thinking about things a bit further. She wasn't sure if he would agree to the plan as easily. And indeed, he didn't. "I gotta wait for you to do it with your sister before I can get with you?" he asked. "This is nuts, Steph!"

"It's what I've decided to do!" Stephanie insisted. "If she backs out, I'll get with Lily. And you after her, okay? Will that work?"

"I... I wanted to be your first."

"And you will be- my first guy! When I decide to let you be with me! Okay?"

"I guess." Simon agreed to see a movie with her the day before school started and make out afterwards. He hated that he had to wait for Stephanie's pace, but wasn't this kind of thing always the case with girls? It was with Stephanie at least. Simon supposed that she was pushing her own confidence at the pace she felt best. She didn't want to jump in the pool of sex right away, but she still would eventually, right? He hoped so anyway, she was such a babe... "You will be with me, right?" he asked Stephanie insistently. "I... I've waited so long for you, I..."

"You can wait a little longer," Stephanie needled him. "Fuck Lily or something."

"That's the thing! I only got with her because she insisted on getting with me. I... I still think it's wrong. I want to get away from her. That's why I'm seeing other girls. But it's not enough for her, she's still coming after me. So I'm applying to another school for next semester, to motivate her to seek guys besides me."

"Uh, Lily and I just talked. She's having dates with other guys besides you, Simon! I don't think she needs extra motivation."

"You think? Well, I might get into another school anyway, one I like better than Rice. Maybe I will, heh. I'll see what happens."

"Yeah, sounds great!" Simon and I aren't really that close, Stephanie reflected. But he's still a good guy and since I need to lose my guy virginity to someone... I might make it him. Just as long as he waits for when I want it. If he's going to leave me for another town, afterwards, well, he can do that. "Let's make sure to schedule a hook-up before you move to another college if you get in somewhere outside Houston, okay?"

"Yeah. Hey, what if your sister cancels on you before that happens?"

"Already covered. I get with Lily, then you!"

"Right, right, whatever you want."

They chatted a bit more, but she would not budge. Eventually Simon decided to take what he could get and let her go. Their date a day later went fine, though Stephanie felt more heat and insistence in his kisses than she had previously. Maybe... no, she shook her head. She had decided to go with her plan, and she would. But she still used her vibrator before she slept that night thinking about things to come. It was good enough she almost changed her mind thanks to the anticipation.

A few days later, after thinking about things some more, Stephanie emailed Lisa and explained what she wanted to do. Lisa blinked when she read the message. She shook her head. My little sister really is being ridiculous, she thought. Lily and Simon are right there living close to her, in her life on a daily basis, and more socially acceptable lovers for her than me. What the fuck is she waiting for? She sent Stephanie back a reply text message. "Lily and Simon want you and I can't just come back home immediately. What is your deal?"