by dawoolef
Off to a pretty good start on what can be a many trailed story. First Steph, then the friends, then their dads, and so on.
This was a good story, but you need to focus a little more on the actual sex scenes. Draw them out and be more descriptive of the details and the action. I liked your story, but you could have made it a lot hotter.
You need to work on plot development, descriptive writing, and overall grammar. But, not bad.