Stepping Out of Comfort Zones Ch. 02

"I'm sorry kiddo, we have an injured player on the field. You're going to have to wait."

I untie the four ropes and suddenly she is free, sitting up and taking off the eye mask as she pulls the Velcro cuffs loose.

Rolling over, she crawls over to me and kisses me, my ass stink on her tongue.

"Ohhh, baby, what did you do?" She touches my forehead.

"I got a bit carried away and tried to jerk myself off while you rimmed me. I lost my balance and slammed into your headboard."

"Okay, new ground rule! While I would love to add mutual masturbation to our list of projects, for the next two days, neither of us gets to self pleasure. Making you come is my job and vice versa. Fair enough?"

"It's a deal. So far, I am pretty sure we can each do a fine job at that assigned task."

"For a supposedly straight fellow, you certainly know how work me. We never even discussed denial, but you seemed to have that all figured out. When you were tonguing inside me I almost pissed. Then you did a great job with my squirtee squirt and you turned me out again by giving me some in my mouth."

"For a moment, I wanted you to piss, but I thought we could wait until you showed me the sounding thing."

"For sure my friend, for sure. Damn, I soaked us already. See, this is why I have a hospital mattress cover."

She then belly flops onto the drenched sheet and rolls about in her come.

"Okay, it's your turn! But first I want you to piss on me. I mean this sheet is already toast."

She flings herself onto her back again, grabs her knees, spreads herself wide and makes and exaggerated open mouth with tongue hanging out, to make sure I know she wants some in there.

I don't hesitate. I stand up on the bed over her. Luckily, I was so focused on her pleasure that I was not that aroused myself and while my prick is thick and full, I don't have a raging hard on that would probably keep me from pissing.

It's another step over the line for me as my feet squish back and forth on the squirt soaked bed.

I aim for her open snatch and asshole, but overshoot a bit with it splashing on her belly first.

She cranes her head forward, "In my mouth!" and I take two steps forward and walk my stream up over her tits as she closes her eyes, piss splashing on her face and finally into her open mouth.

Opening her eyes, she looks up at me. As it begins spilling out, she closes her mouth and swallows. My dick begins to hardens from watching her swallow.

Walking backward, I trace the stream back down to her open, exposed holes and drop to my knees, pissing onto her anus and into her gaping pussy as my stream fades away.

"Oh Jesus, that feels amazing. It's so fucking hot. You pissed into my cunt, you crazy, beautiful fucking boy."

In one, un-orchestrated move, I drop my face into her cunt and drink my piss out of her vestibule and then crawl up over her, my cock sliding into her as my mouth meets hers and we share my piss from inside her hole. Before we are done swallowing, I have begun ejaculating in her. She cries out, her legs wrapping tightly around my waist and her fingernails raking my back.

It feels like I come forever and when done we just lie there, covered in my piss and her squirt, murmuring to each other.

"That was the first time for me." She says.

"What part?"

"All of it. God almighty, what you did to my clit and hood was insane. No one has ever done anything like that to me. I have never had anyone piss in my mouth or into my pussy, much less both and then drink it back out and deliver it while coming in me. That was like the Trifecta of Piss Fetish. It was so fucking insanely hot -- God Damn!"

"That was the fastest I have ever come. I started coming before I even got one stroke in. Your taking my piss out of my mouth was the trigger. Jesus, your sheet is soaked."

"Boy the scales sure are uneven pretty quickly. I don't know where to start, but I need to really do you good. What do you want to do next?'

"I am game for anything although I might be a bit low on ammunition. You got two full loads from me in about thirty seconds. I'm out of piss and and come"

Karin begins laughing hysterically.

"Jesus Tim, what the fuck did we just do, that was absolute madness and I loved it. But I think you are right, we need to re-set. Tomorrow we are going to have to bathe and be clean for what I have in mind, so can we spend one more night in sexual filth?

"I don't mind if you don't"

Karin runs and grabs a towel from the bathroom and pulls me from the bed. She vigorously dries each of us and then throws the towel onto the soaked bed.

"Tell you what, if you will finish cleaning up our playpen, I will make us some pasta putanesca for dinner. Clean sheets and more towels are in the linen closet and just dump the sheet in the tub"

Karin unabashedly saunters off into the kitchen, some of my semen running down her thighs.

The bed is drenched with our output, a puddle in the center. I gather the corners, and fold them over each other. Wadding the dripping sheet into a ball, I walk into the bathroom and drop it in the tub.

Grabbing a towel from the rack, I return to the bed and wipe the seepage from the waterproof cover. The bedroom floor is hardwood with area rugs here and there. Squirt and piss have spilled from the bed onto the floor and I wipe that up as well.

Finding a washcloth, I soak it in water and then wipe down the mattress cover and floor using a fresh towel to dry them again. I crouch down and sniff to see if I did a good job. It's very hard to tell though with the stink coming off of me.

I find a clean fitted sheet, pink and white stripes of all things! Shaking it out, I pull it taut over the bed. The pillows somehow escaped the deluge, but I find the slip cases to match the sheet and the top sheet as well. I make up the bed entirely, folding the duvet at the foot.

Gathering up the Velcro restraints, rope, ball gag and eye mask, I clear a space for them on the dresser and add the toys from my drawer to the display. Looking into her drawer, I examine her toys more closely. She has the same nipple clamps I do, but also has nipple pumps and a larger one, probably used for her labia.

There are clothespins and standard electrical alligator clips. I try them on my own nipples. The clothespins hurt, but the alligator clips are excruciating and I am not able to let them close completely before taking them off.

There is a flowered diary, like that of a teenage girl, with a locking strap and hasp. It is not locked and I open it, feeling wrong in doing so, but unable to help myself. It opens about 3/4's in to what appears to be the last entry, dated a few weeks ago. I start reading, it is about a prior date with another man. I continue to read it, mesmerized, but am suddenly revolted by what I am doing and close it, put it back, shame engulfing me.

I idly fiddle about tidying up the room, folding both our clothes, cleaning up the bedside tables, just wasting time as I don't want to face her having violated her personal space. I feel dirty and unclean and it has nothing to do with our activities of the last 24 hours.

"Hey, are you almost finished in there, because I am. How about we eat in bed and watch a movie. Do you like "Out of Africa"?, I just got it on DVD."

Her voice is so free, open and cheerful that I nearly vomit, having violated any trust we have built. I don't want to hurt her and tell her what I have done, but I no longer feel like I can continue on what is supposedly a fully trusting foray into vulnerability.

She walks into the room carrying a bed tray with two bowls of pasta. She has put on a gingham kitchen apron that looks like it came off the set of Ozzie and Harriett. Naked underneath, reeking of our sex, her mouth in big beautiful loving, trusting grin. She is adorable and it makes me feel even shittier. "Be back in jif!"

She skips back to the kitchen, returning with a bottle of Evian and two glasses.

Shit! I don't know what to do. "Except when to do so would injure them or others" is part of the steps of AA and while it applies to the amends step, I believe it should cover all our actions. In this case, sharing my violation of trust with Karin would injure her. Is doing so just a selfish way of assuaging my guilt? Or is it an honest admission of my failing?

I still have not said a word. No response to how my cleaning is coming, whether I like "Out of Africa", what I think of the dinner presentation or her cute and sexy take on a housewife ........Karin is busying herself with the DVD player, seemingly having taken my silence as acquiescence. My stomach is in knots.

Karin grabs the remote, dims the lights, pulls some big pillows from the closet and hands me one. She places hers and climbs onto the bed, arranging the bed tray and picking her bowl of pasta "You going to join me?"

I am still just standing there.

"Fuck! I don't know how to do this without fucking everything up, but I have to."

"You have to what?"

"When I was cleaning up the room, I found your diary...journal....whatever... I should have just left it there, but it was so incongruous, a pre teen's diary in a drawer full of sex toys. I picked it up and the next thing I knew, I was reading about a date you had. I got two or three pages before I really admitted to myself how fucked up it was and put it back. Ever since then I have literally been about to puke."

I swallow and try to slow down, realizing that I am talking a mile a minute. I take a few large breaths and start again.

"Part of me wanted to run out the door, part wanted to just hide it from you, not cause you the pain of knowing what an asshole I am and not deserving of your trust and the part that won out was the part that knew I was going to end any kind of "us", but you deserve better, so there you have it. I'm really sorry."

As I speak, I watch her face respond and it morphs from the cheery housewife, into the open, vulnerable woman I have come to know during our drive last night and our fountain chat this afternoon. Tears begin welling in her eyes.

Unable to continue looking at her, I shuffle over to my clothes, folded on the chaise by her side of the bed and begin to get dressed.

"Hey, asshole, don't I get to respond?" Her voice is tremulous and I slowly look up at her. She has put her pasta bowl back on the bed tray and swung her legs down off the bed. I see her big feet, hanging there, a few inches shy of reaching the floor. I follow up her legs, over the silly apron and finally to her face which I have been so actively avoiding.

Tears are slowly coursing down her cheeks and my heart rips in two. This was so very much the wrong move. I should have just hidden this, had wild sex and eaten my sin, kept it to myself.

"Oh Karin, I am so sorry, it was fucking selfish of me to do that. I should have been a man and sucked it up, it was weak of me to dump it on you."

"Shut up Tim and let me speak." Her tear streaked face breaks into a wry smile. She slides off the bed onto the floor and stands before me, an arm's length separating us. For a brief moment I am afraid she is going to hit me.

"Somewhere between adding the olives and then the anchovies to the sauce, I realized that my fucking journal was sitting in that drawer, unlocked. I lost the key when I was 13. I came running back in here to get it, but you were already reading it. It was kind of weird. I watched you doing it. Part of me wanted you to read it and part of me was pissed that you were. I saw you close it and put it back like it was diseased or on fire. Instead of confronting you, I went back to the kitchen and went through my own battle of what to do."

"I was so ashamed. I didn't know what parts you had read. Some of it is pretty raw and gnarly. It's not just the sex, I have a lot of flaws. You said you almost puked, I actually did throw up into the sink.

Like me, she is speaking so fast she is almost hyperventilating. She stops herself. She visibly seems to re-set herself and begins again.

"I felt guilty because anyone who leaves an open diary or journal lying around should expect it to be read. And I had to deal with my perverse thrill in watching you and why I did not confront you in the moment."

"And I went through options like you did. I can throw him out. I can use him, have some more wild sex and then get rid of him. I was selfishly hoping you would just pretend it did not happen and we could pick up where we left off. So I put on this silly apron knowing it would make you laugh and decided to pretend and have some more great sex. But you just ruined that option."

"Karin, I'm sorry, I thought that............"

"I said, shut up. I'm not done."

Her voice now has a noticeable tremor. Her tears are running freely and so is her nose.

"You ruined the option of pretending it did not happen and picking up where we left off by bringing it all out into the light and admitting it to me. Yes, it might have been the cowardly out, if I did not already know. But I do. What you did may have not been brave to you, but in knowing what I do, it was heroic to me.

She closes the distance between us and puts her arms around me, her head on my chest and holds me. After a moment or two, she pushes me away and quickly unties the apron from around her waist and neck, savagely throwing it across the room.

She grabs me again, this time like a drowning woman and turns her face up to mine. Her eyes are red from her crying and her lips and chin are dripping with tears and snot and slobber.

"You are the strangest fucking man I have ever met and that is saying something as my diary proves. And this somehow this now makes me trust you even more."

Her brow furrows, and she dips her head, breaking our contact. She looks back up again, now so vulnerable and unsure once again.

"Karin, what is wrong?"

"I am sick, something is wrong with me."

"What do you mean?"

"This all made me wet again, I want you inside me. What's wrong with me?"

"I don't think anything is wrong with you, we are just filled with emotion, I feel overwhelmed, raw, like an open wound. And look......."

I push us apart and she looks down at my penis which while not ragingly erect is swollen and grows as she stares at it.

Sniffling her nose clear, she giggles and reaches down and lightly slaps my dick back and forth.

"You too, huh? Okay, maybe I am not so sick or then again maybe we both are. Are you okay now? We still have some talking to do on this, but my putanesca sauce is really great and it's getting cold.

She gets up on her tiptoes and kisses me with her sweet, pliant mouth still slippery with her sob snot. My heart melts and this relationship's complexity becomes ever deeper.

I take a napkin from the tray and dry her tears, wiping her face dry. She climbs back up onto the bed and I go around the other side and as she pushes play on the remote and movie begins.

The putanesca is fabulous. I am not a fan of anchovies, but she used just enough to give it flavor without overwhelming the tomatoes, garlic and olives.

We both seem to know the movie well, and enjoy sharing it together. After finishing our dinner, I pause the movie (about where Blor moves out and leaves his Karin alone on the farm) and take our debris to the kitchen.

I quickly rinse the bowls and put the pots and skillet in the sink for a soak. There is some of vomit on the pasta strainer. I bring it to my nose and inhale the sour stench of her bile, trying to absorb the emotion that caused her such distress.

When I get back, she is under the sheet and duvet and I slide in with her. We watch the rest of the movie cuddled together. The movie ends and we spend some time talking about what it must have been like to be an aristocratic northern European when they owned the world.

We laugh about how people always assume they would not be peasants when talking about time machine travel to the past.

Without missing a beat, Karin segues out of our movie discussion and into the elephant in the room.

"Which entry did you read?"

"What?"

"Which entry did you read in my journal"?

"Karin, I don't know........"

"Hey, I told you, it's okay, but I want to know."

"I think it was the last one. It was dated about a month ago."

"Yeah, that was Bruce. You had made me so frustrated I finally let him come home with me."

"Bruce? You fucked Bruce? Bruce? Actor Bruce who is Simon's roommate?"

"Yeah, that Bruce. He's been coming on to me since before I met you. How far did you get?"

"You were describing about how you were conflicted about seducing him with the promise of anal sex, while hoping it would make you piss yet not telling him and knowing it may turn him off."

"Yeah, my therapist had been ragging on me about those seductions, especially since they never worked out. By Bruce, I always backed down and just fucked them and sent them home."

"Maybe tomorrow I will let you read some of the other passages to better understand my pain thing. Especially about the guy who actually hurt me. I wrote it after my therapy session and she really helped me understand it better myself."

"I don't know if that is necessary."

"No, I want to do it, I have never been able to be this open with anyone but my therapist and I think this is a good thing. I know you won't share it and I want you to understand me."

"So how long have you been keeping this journal?"

"About two and a half years. When my therapist asked me to start recounting my non standard sexcapades, it seemed perversely fitting to use my old schoolgirl diary. She had me do a few retroactive entries where I described discovering my attraction to pain during masturbation and the first times I pursued it with a lover. After that she asked me to keep a journal anytime it came up and how I felt about it."

"It was the second time I felt like a voyeur with you. Last night in the car when you masturbated and tonight when I read your writing. Neither were as titillating as I thought voyeurism would be."

"I liked you seeing both of them. I was excited that you were watching last night, but I wasn't performing for you. Then I surprised myself tonight. At first I was angry at you, next ashamed of myself and finally aroused that you were seeing me at my most naked and vulnerable."

"We are strange beings. By doing what I thought was going to push you away forever, we seem to be even closer."

"Indeed! And about to be closer still. If you want to do some role playing I could top you on this with since I believe the next on the menu is me doing you in the ass."

"Yeah, I don't know about the role playing, but the act is naturally dominating anyway."

Getting out of the bed, I grab the enema bulb and syringe and head to the bathroom. Running the water until it is nice and warm, I fill the bulb and get on my hands and knees.

"Hey, I might not be next up, but I'd like a rinse anyway, can I go first?"

She gets down on her hands and knees and I hand her the bulb. "Give me some spit." I crouch down and spit onto her sphincter and she guides the tip into her ass. "Squeeze it for me." I push the water into her rectum, remove the bulb and refill it for myself.

"Here, let me do you." I get down on my knees and she begins rimming me, but after sucking on my ring a few times, she pushes the tip inside and fills my cavity with the warm water. It's obvious that we both are pretty familiar with this process and with saying a word, we roll onto our sides in fetal position, facing each other.

"You smell like piss."

"So do you."

"You want to take a shower yet?"

"No way, I like this."

"After we vacate ourselves, I am going to see I can get my tongue into your ass. And whether I can or not, I am going to fuck you if that's okay. Have you ever been fucked in the ass by a guy or a woman?'