All Comments on 'Still Under His Eyes'

The earlier versions of this story have a rough history here. I don't expect much love for this rendition either, despite a drastically different outcome. The (so far) three versions:

(1) UNDER HIS EYES (Loving Wives) received many nasty comments and a takedown complaint -- as a snuff story! I revised it to explicitly show the death was accidental and non-sexual, and posted that as:

(2) RIGHT UNDER HIS EYES (Humor-Satire) where it got a slight better response. I later contested the takedown and the original was restored; I wanted the comments to stay visible. Read'em and weep. And finally:

(3) STILL UNDER HIS EYES (Loving Wives) is my try for new reactions. BTW the main players are real people, slightly disguised. Mary Sue worked a Dial-A-Slut line but only in Hollywood. Randy's research was in electronics, not biochemistry. Will died, not Randy.

Why write these? The earlier versions map a vivid path to a James Thurber cartoon. This version is an experiment; will the BTB-fantasy Grand Guignol dénouement get a better reaction from Loving Wives readers? Hmm, how about another version of the original, told from Randy's POV, where SHE ends up as the statue, not him? Or should I give up on new versions and just write new, different stories?

Matter how Many times you rewrite this, its still garbage!

Ha..as if someone else would claim this shit. And, if I wanted to (and was as sick as this author) I would post it with my name and dare the fool to do anything about it.

NEW CAN, SAME OLD CRAP.

UNO ESTRELLA !!!

HARRY inVA's Witness

Reducing one's size 50% proportionally would result in a weight of one-eighth the original weight.

"I am a cheating fucking slut, a liar and a lousy mother but at least I am not a whore or a thief". What do you want, congratulations?

Should've been in the humor or sci-fi category. I liked it tho. 5 stars

Because honestly wifey's arguments made perfect sense. She was taking care of him, he was pursuing his own interests on her dime, and in a real life situation she would have divorced his ass long ago. So I didn't feel any righteous satisfaction reading about his revenge. He wasn't wronged by her.

This is a triple category story: LW, comedy and sci/fic, and it's good in all categories...so 4*

I can add this to the total fucking trash stories and the waste of time to read stories. Otherwise this story was a piece of SHIT.

Why did you waste our time posting this garbage? I suppose you wanted to piss everyone off. Just awful.

Far from it. 1*

Basically it comes down to the basic question, "Can taking over responsibility for other people be anything but immoral?" In this case he has absolute power over these sixteen and I can not believe that he can look at himself in the mirror.

Creative story, but really should be in Sci-Fi/fantasy

And completely immerses himself in his work, paid for by her, and I'm supposed to believe he's the victim? Where and when was he victimized? Lastly, what the fuck far is a shrinking compound and who the fuck will pay money to watch midgets have sex when we can stream it for free?

I don't k ow what the fuck drugs you're doing; but if you're going to write shit, can you at least offer us some because this was painfully idiotic.

After reading the comments I'm glad I did.

It was! But that's what fiction is for. I

Laughed! Thanks author!

I can't help but ask, then: why not place this story in the Non-Erotic category?

Seinfeld's maxim applied here. This was an anti-heroes journal to a pint-sized purgatory. It held my interest which wavered with the 'Honey, I Shrunk the Sluts' resolution.

Twilight Zone fans will recognize this plot. Fun!

Wanky, so wanky.....

Randy should hire someone to watch his little people so he can enjoy what his money can buy. Maybe he could put cameras everywhere and tune in to watch whenever he wanted.

I liked this story. It was very humorous and entertaining. Was it out there? Absolutely. Normally I like stories that could really happen, but I make exceptions for well told stories that are SUPPOSED to be unbelievable. This rewrite actually made me appreciate the first version of this story more because both were written in the same tongue-in-cheek format. If this story had voting I would give it a five.

yeah, Hypoxia, you really need to die a painful death...

Great story and thank you for your effort and content. Loved every word

Again , A great imagination and funny too

Now this is the opposite of that trash 'Under His Eyes'.

And you did it on purpose! Too damn funny.

****Snaps a rubber glove on**** "OK Kids, today we're going to do a slight modification. The men are getting penile implants so they're always hard- they're also a French design that produces fake ejaculation. This means the show times are going to be extended from 1 hour to 3 hours, every day. ***Red Light comes on*** Now make it real!

Still laughing. All shrunk up and having sex....wow btb

This was a hilarious " little" BTB . S.J., I think it is right where it belongs. It is much more erotic than any swinging, cheating, or cuckold story placed in LW.

Well written great story. Very humorous.

Love the turn around on slutty wife and lovers. Better revenge thru science!!!

Much better than the original, but then, so is the Miami phone book from 1954.

That's absolutely great! What a fitting punishment for perverts.

Had to read this again, one of the most outrageous BTBs ever.

You've parlayed this scenario an great take-away line into something of an interesting series.

A Better World Thru Chemistry?

Bwahaha! Much better ending than the original!

They all got together and killed him, thereby making their escape. The REAL end.

Just awful.

Couldn’t finish the first page. Maybe it turned out ok

Story still results from lack of oxygen to his brains, but this is good BTB.

That ending! Ha! Didn't see it coming, definitely different. Not sure I'd go that way, but it's surely a different twist. Funny!

💩 story

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 5 stars for a fun bit of fluff. But, seriously, how could anyone ignore all the sex going on right in front him for years and years? There isn't any intellectual problem that intriguing. And, since the marriage did always function that way, he has no complaint.

lol

Got less than halfway down the first page when the two male characters started jacking each other off then I baled out. I've got no problem with gay guys hooking up together but I just don't want to read about it. If I did, I'd return to the main menu and click on 'Gay Male', which is where this should be posted.

lol x2

Oh, odd

[31.03.24]

Top Shelf Funny!

And bonus points for intentionally (unintentionally?) calling it:

"This room is going to be Studio Z!"

As a music nerd and Frank Zappa fan, I know this to be the name of his studio after renaming Paul Buff's Pal Recording Studio (where 'Wipeout' by The Surfaris and the demo for 'Pipeline' by The Chantays were recorded).

11/10 Busted Surfboards!!!!!