All Comments on 'Stolen Birthright Ch. 01-05'

I nearly cried when her wolf dies!! Totally not fair and I hate that the view on females is they are just things to be traded

Now i want to beat the hell out of something! Dammit partwolf.

One can hope that her pack beta's have felt their alphas deaths or if there had been scheduled contact times and they hadn't received any that it alerted them. It would still be a long shot but even a small team of warriors would be something. Even though they would still all be outnumbered big time.

There is no overriding authority, so the Alphas and the Packs develop a culture. I think we can agree that these four Packs are lacking when it comes to how they value women. Her parents were willing to die to protect her future, as was her wolf.

She's lost almost everything in a weekend, we will have to see how she reacts. I hope you all continue reading and enjoy the ride!

WOW

This is amazing, i feel so angry about what they did to her.

I hope in her escape she comes across her mate and hope he can brong her wolf back!!

The pack that killed her parents need to get whats coming to them!!

Good thing too since it just broke with this story. I'm not sure if i can even take the chapter but i hope to read it soon.

partwolf,

That much is certain. They are definitely scheming, manipulative little shits out for power and wealth. They will want Ella's head as soon as they feel David die. Then they still have to figure out how to seize control of her now, perhaps, former pack. If Ella's wolf is truly dead, and not in say a coma, she is of limited use. Only as an object of torture to make them yield.

The top beta is alpha in charge at the moment. His life will be under threat and likely be challenged for control from any of this cabal of evil. He is going to be under major pressure. I suppose i'm presuming the top beta is a 'he'. If it's a she, my apologies for the perhaps sexist slight but the dangers are still the same.

Ella has to somehow escape their lands in David's car with everyone after her. A hospital would be able to reattach her thumb but that hand will be useless for a long time. The bite will draw attention as will the broken hymen. The police would get involved and a rape kit performed. If those packs have pull they might hold off the authorities. If not, they are going to really have questions at the crime scene(s). A rape, 3 bodies and perhaps others still injured or maimed.

It was the result of bad decisions on Ella's parents' part. They are a rich pack, they were visiting hostile/unknown packs. Yet they didn't do any prior investigation, they didn't bring any security, they didn't bring other pack members. They don't sound like good alphas.

One of the best stories I have read on Lit in awhile. Looking forward to more.

It definitely seemed like a bad idea for the Alpha family to leave the pack. Alone. But it sounds like there's no way they expected THIS. (Though I did expect SOME kind of hostile takeover).

I'm wondering where she can go from here. Obviously back to her pack--but what then? Can she be alpha without her wolf?? Can she find her mate? Is her wolf COMPLETELY gone or will she slowly come back, maybe helped by meeting their mate? If she CAN'T lead her pack, who will? There are now a lot of packs they can't trust, but how do alpha challenges in this world work? Would the pack have any say?

I look forward to the rest of the story and the answers to these questions! And sweet revenge!

Her wolf is super strong. U can't wait until her wolf wakes up from a coma, but she is going to steal the dude's car and get away. I can't wait for the next bit. Super exciting.

PallasAthena123,

She could go back if she could reach them. She is 8 hours away from friendly territory. The bad guys have set this game up and all the pieces. Right now she is a solitary piece. Might be time to try and throw more pieces on the board and see how it shakes out. They are playing chess. Maybe she can play checkers? lol Or find a get out of jail free card in this monopoly game from hell.

Seriously, a hospital and police would be the closest safety box. It might buy time and definitely would throw an unexpected monkey wrench in the works. Ok, it may expose werewolf kind but at this point she has no options.

Without her wolf she can't be alpha. She wouldn't be the connected linchpin of the pack. So my guess is the first beta is in charge by default. The same as in battle. Your officer gets killed and everyone looks to the sergeant to lead.

Ellienora35,

The coma idea was just my hopeful idea. We'll have to see where partwolf takes all of us as the story progresses.

Anonymous,

Her parents messed up. They tried to help her achieve what she wants in life. A degree at the college she desired. They were seeing if the local pack(s) would be a safe place near by for her wolf to run if needed. They believed the story of a bi-annual gathering/alpha meeting where unmated children were introduced to find potential mates. It played right into their beliefs even though the hosts had no such beliefs. They were naive. Her father didn't like what he heard about the deal for Olivia. He may have believed he would just be fending off such suggested deals without someone actually trying to force a deal. I guess they had lived a too civilized life.

A security detail would have just been something for the hosts to approve and plan for. Not insurmountable, if they were unable to dissuade her father bringing any. He may have tried or thought too but decided it might be seen as aggressive or untrusting and he was trying to build a relationship for Ella's sake.

Great read, only criticism is that you used Olivia's name instead of Ella at different points when they were at the cabin

Within the very few 2 sentences, there's typos as well as several afterwards which made it distracting to read. Same lame werewolf concept, rather boring. 1 out of 5.

In the cabin chapter, it was meant that Doc gave Olivia the drug that she put in Ella's drink. Her 'friends' betrayed her.

An excellent being to what could be an excellent werewolf series. The story is well written with an excellent story plot and excellent character development. Please continue this excellent story as it has a story line I have not seen before., I can not remember ever reading a werewolf story where other packs comspired to take over another packs territory and money by force-mating the female heir with another alpha's oldest son. Nor the parents being killed by the other alphas when they tried to save their daughter. I can not wait to see if she gets away and who will she turn to for help. Does she go to the police or tries to make it back to her pack's territory? ruill she find her true mate amiss all the pain of her parents deaths and the betrail of her friends. Please keep writing as these first chapters lead into an excellent series.

Retired Army NCO

Can't wait for the next one.

Thank you.

but I have mixed feelings about it, mainly because of David and the betrayal of Ella's girl friends. He wants to be an Alpha so badly he's willing to have Ella's parents be killed and is willing to kidnap and rape Ella and force her to be his mate. Of course rape is wrong and a crime, but his behavior angers me because it's the age-old arrogant practice of humanity, where conquerors would pillage a country and rape the king's daughter to become the new king of the land. And for the most part, these conquerors got away with it because as we know, the victors write history. Her girl friends should be ashamed of themselves, but they're too stupid to realize their actions supported a power play by David. They're not thinking of Ella or helping her find a good mate or even the right mate, just thinking their actions are good for the pack. Clearly, they're not her friends at all, as they care nothing for her, but only for her position.

I'll keep up with this story, in belief that partwolf will make it worth my while (I've liked all his other stories). But I hate the fact that so far, we're seeing some of the worst behaviors of people/werewolves. And I'm looking forward to David/Olivia/Carol's comeuppance.

luv2read2

Great story, like the plot! Didn't know this was Comp 216 and the grammar had to be up to Masters Level work. Errors, sure, did it detract from the story, no. If they are so good at writing why don't they throw a story up here and see how well they do. I don't have to hide my tag either. Keep up the great work Partwolf, your one of the best on here!!!

luv2read2,

Yep they never were friends just bait. They were the inside source to feed her info, listen to what she told them of her parents/pack and be a point of trust. They played their parts well. If Ella had told her parents of the daughter dealing earlier it might have thrown up a warning flag in time.

Hmm, I think wolves need a steel chastity collar. One that covers the neck and shoulders entirely. Then no mating bite worries. Well, without extra time and effort.

I messed up going off the time in car Ella said. When she freshened her makeup she said to not look like she had been in the car for 8 hours. But the first paragraph says it was 2:30pm and they had been on the road since five. That's 9.5 hours so somewhere between 9.5 and 10 hours total. An even longer distance. Approximately 600-700 miles? Ugh.

Hopefully the pack felt the deaths and began racing there immediately. I'm sure the a-holes would either turn off the phones or claim a terrible accident and that Ella would contact them when she was able. After they had her mated of course.

Partwolf has given no time indications for the lengths of time she was unconscious. Assuming the first period was hours then the doc's visit was that evening. After she woke the second time he fed her so maybe it was breakfast? That would be more than enough time for the pack to get there. If each knockout dose only lasted 2-3 hours then help is still hours away assuming they left immediately upon the alphas deaths and obeyed traffic laws. Run triple digit speed and they would be there or close when her wolf dies.

Sorry, unknown answers make me try my best criminal minds impersonation.

The Belden pack in western ND is a good 8+ hour drive from St Cloud. I put in time for a breakfast stop on the way.

She is marked Saturday afternoon and escapes late Sunday, waking up after surgery early Monday. No point in sending people to attack her Pack if they assume David will mate her. She gives them warning, since the Grand Forks pack is much closer.

partwolf,

My thoughts on any physical or other force on Ella's pack was after the bad guys figure out David is dead and Ella's wolf is no more. She would be useless beyond signing over anything family held to them "legally". If they were willing to force a mating to get what they want, an outright alpha fight isn't out of the question. Now, the deal the packs had with each other could fall apart as each greedy bastard decides they could just take it all themselves.

In the Beldon pack's position, I would be racing to Minnesota to protect Ella after the alphas' deaths. I tried to guess timelines to see if there was any way possible for help to get there when she was going to run for it. They would have already had to decide on a war footing and not politely requesting entry at the gate or calling ahead to say they were coming. A breech of etiquette, but screw that under these circumstances. Your timeline was much longer than i thought it was.

waiting for the next ...

A warning would have have been nice. For those of us who like the werewolf genre, but abhor rape scenes some warning would have been nice.

The non-human category is where it should be. It isn't non-consent. Great story, it's really drawn me in. It's not the same old shifter mates romance, and I can't wait for more! Seriously, I can't wait. Start typing!!! (Jk) :-)

I haven't read all of your shifter stories and it's been a while. Is this in the same universe as the others?

You're off to a great start. This isn't like all the other shifter romances and it's really hooked me. This doesn't belong in non consent. Just because this is about werewolves, it doesn't mean that it can't have ELEMENTS of non consent in what's clearly a non- human story. Just like they're are non-human elements in some non-consent stories here. I can't wait for the next chapter!

Wow! This story is brutal and the heroine is a total badass. Can't wait to see what happens next!

As the text gave ample warning of what was coming. Doc and David talked about it and she asked him not to do it.

Leaves the story open to what comes next, a great opprtunity for exploration, as there is really no explanation of what afterlife means toa wereperson who has lost a core part of who they are. They are not dead - is it possible for some aspect of the wolven spirit to remain as a memory that empowers and comfort snce the human vessel still remains?

$0.02

Don't let her wolf die. She just lost her mother and her father who were killed trying to save her. An I'm not even talking about the rape and the lost of her V. that she was saving for her true mate. So, let her please keep her wolf that she will need in the future.

You are the best. Thanks for pointing this series out to me. Partwolf, you did that!

So intense. I have to take a break now and come back later. I hope she gets away.

I hate Stockholm Syndrome stories, I'm so glad you didn't do down that path.

I like how you portray strong women.

holy crap ,i hate rape stories, but I understand them. I hope she kills all that pack.

Good start. Her parents were too naive and trusting but what determination she showed. Hope she can save her wolf.

Exceptional. Now that's a story. Wow.