All Comments on 'Storm Warning!!'

Spectacular!

5 stars and a favorite

Loved it! Romantic stories like that always get to me!! Five stars and a favorite point!

A very well written story. Thank you!

Good story, but it deserves to be edited. The changes in POV is to frequent and make the reading difficult and boring

Loved it. Your story is my favorite for the Summer Lovin' Contest. Hope you win.

Five stars!!

Thank you for sharing another one of your outstanding stories!

kept me glued to every word. very well written with the best story i have read on here in over a year...one of the the best.

I had never heard Aubrey used as a girl's name. Historically it is a boy's name (some elfin god was the origin of the name). I looked it up and it turns out that in the 1970's it did become popular as a girl's name. Traditionally Audrey was the girl's name and Aubrey was masculine. It still looked weird to me to see Aubrey on the page as a girl (alright, woman).

Aside from that this was a good story although the 800 lb gorilla in the room revolves around the time when Aubrey is 50 and Owen is 70 or more. I knew a couple in that situation and she did everything she could to (believe it or not) look OLDER. She had her hair streaked with silver and wore older person clothes. It was grotesque. He darkened his hair and wore more youthful looking styles. I was apprehensive when I committed to a long term relationship with my 9-year younger partner when I was about 59. It was a good relationship although just to louse up the works, cancer took her away when she was just short of 70. So you can't make plans, but add another 10 years on the difference and I think you're asking for heartache. Another anomaly in the story is Owen's mother. She had to be 75+ but was presented as a much younger woman. Hard to write a realistic story about romance between an older man and a young woman. 4*

What a wonderful, hot, romantic story this is. Thank you for sharing it with us!

Owen is such a catch! What a sexy man, even though the is older and her boss. I expected to see a healthy dose of hair splashed across his masculine chest, something for Aubrey to be amazed and turned on with. What a loving family they make! Glad they got together! Please write more, and include some hairy chests in the descriptions!

Thanks so much for writing, 5*. I do agree with a few others, if I were nitpicking, i’d had preferred a consistent narrator instead of switching between one and the other. It’s a less effective way of telling a complete story when done that way. But excellent work nonetheless!

Excellent story. Well conceived and executed. I enjoyed reading it. The typos and other errors were a little distracting but didn't detract significantly from the flow.

Nice story and great characters. Sorry to see that you attracted a couple of trolls in the comments. Yes, there were typos, but nothing that broke the fun of the story. And the story is what matters.

THANKS

Owen should have a sexy hair-splashed chest so please his assistant!

"Though I wasn't sure how it happened, expect that I missed a few days of my pills ...."?

Right letters, wrong order?

Except?

Also, to 'Overcritical' quibbling about 'Aubrey' as a woman's name, check it out on Google!

Lots of examples!

Another excellent story, S&F! Very enjoyable! Aubrey seemed to have the more interesting narration throughout, and some of the later narration sections were a bit short and choppy. One possible improvement might have been to introduce concerns about Jim’s sister (Sandra, I think) earlier on so she might have been more of a threat to the budding relationship rather than practically an afterthought. Still, it allowed them to confirm their relationship so all was good in the end. Great job, 5*!

Great story 5*, it wasn't the most erotic, the first sex scene was over to quick, 2-stroke?? I liked the story as I realised I was grinning at the love and romance between the two. I have had a loving relationship with someone 20 years younger, when you are in love, age doesn't mean a thing. I noticed people comment on what age difference is appropriate ultimately it makes little difference to a couple in love. Nice story.

Glad to see this story was so well received. Unfortunately the unedited version of the story got downloaded for submission in error, but I have requested that the edited version replace this. Now I'm just hoping it happens. As for the lady in this story, personally I like the name Aubrey, thought it was feminine and something a little different. Now that I have 140 submissions and lots of other stories on the go, it's becoming a challenge to find suitable names for my characters without repeating them. If anyone wants to throw a few suggestions my way, feel free. I'm always open to suggestions. Thanks for taking the time to read my work, and for commenting and voting on all the stories on this site. Constructive comments are always welcome. Cheers, Smuttyandfun

I got lost in the timeline. I appears They got engaged that weekend at the cottage and then nothing happened between them for 3 weeks when he bought her lingerie. Lost me there

Superb story

I thoroughly enjoyed it from beginning to end. Good luck in the contest.

I really enjoy a good May-December love story like this one, and kudos to the author. On the other hand, however, having children come from such a relationship gives me pause. If these two get busy right away, he’ll be 52 or 53 when his youngest is born. That will make him 75ish when she graduates from college, assuming he lives that long. I know that guys do it, but it’s not anything that I’d want. Just my (probably minority) opinion.

Well I cannot be over critical as there's little to criticise constructively. The start was excellent and th ending brilliant and moving - felt more like a romance than a mature story which it is as well. Being really picky, if it's mature there's normally more word play around the differences in age and the possible consequences.

I too thought more could have been made of the pursuit of Owen by Sandra and the 3 weeks back at the office was glossed over whereas I'd have done something the first few days or introduced a growing tension between them. However, all these would have made the story longer and I think 6 Lit pages is enough for contest story.

Names are lways difficult. I'm sure Aubrey has been used for a girl on Lit before; it's no problem to me.

Overall, excellent. 5 stars from me.

I loved it, a really good May/September story, having read the comments I can see where the timeline is a bit jerky and how editing could have polished it to flow more naturally, still 5* tho!

Using the storm to unleash the storm that was brewing within them was brilliant. It was beautifully written and nothing more was needed.

I was fine with the story until they suddenly came together over their drinks. It was too quick to be believable. I do hope your edited version cleans up a bunch of the errors.

Well that was sweet. Hot and sweet. Not like the twisted hard porn I write but still hot.

I loved every part of this story.

Interesting thing about critiques is that it shows the true nature of ones heart. It is readily displayed while reading some of the other comments here about this story.

Everyone seems to magically become the heralded most regaled master writer, editor, and critic.

Unwittingly allowing the whole world a glimpse into the true worthiness of their thoughts, and inadvertently paints a picture of their heart blackened with a dark cancer, that is not only spreading itself but also its host generously painting it everywhere with a large brush as it encroaches it’s final destination of said persons soul.

There is always room for improvement as with everything but expressing that without regard to the the recipients possible reaction by not choosing your words more positively is lacking due diligence as a compassionate human being.

It saddens me to see so many of us without humility, and compassion.

Rant over, again Thank you for sharing this great story with us.

Humbly your newest fan,

Vern

Hi Vern

Glad to hear you enjoyed this. A few readers have asked how to get started as a writer. I think the best advice I could give is, just go for it and write something. Then try and edit it as best you can, hopefully with someone looking it over for errors, and to judge how it flows. Then submit it and see where it goes.

When I submitted my first story Nice Spread, I was surprised at how many people read it. Inspired, I kept writing and kept submitting. Now I have 140 submissions on this site with more on the way.

I try and read a lot a too, which I think helps improve my writing.

I look forward to reading something you written.

Good Luck and Stay Safe

Smuttyandfun

That was

SMUTTY

AND

FUN.

More fun than Smutty --

on THIS one

(my first read from him -- but not my last).

I look at it differently from the Anonymous who wanted one POV (point of view) rather than the way it was presented with viewpoints from both Aubrey and Owen.

I will say that when I saw there would be two viewpoints, I thought this might involve a rehash from Owen covering ground already gone over by Aubrey. So, I was relieved and gratified that his narration took up where she left off and built on it.

Masterfully done.

A feel-good ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ story.

Paul in Oklahoma

P.S. I'm expecting more fun from Mr. Smuttyandfun.

Down voted just for the "nerd" stereotype and "video games are bad" and "mature" means only playing board games and liking alcohol.

I like, I like, I like, need 1 more chapter, to cover the period of having a daughter and them growing up, maybe living by the lake full time?

Also cover upto retirement and enjoying the outdoor activities of retirement.

What an awesome story 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟

"self-conscience" should be "self-conscious" (three times). Apart from that a five star story thank you