by HunterShambles
Excellent job. You must continue this story so they can have a happy ending together
why was there a hut with a set up for 4 people on a deserted island?why did the parents not ask about them being naked?
I too would like to see this continue. I thought for sure there would be more oral play from her but just him. I'd like to see how you would explore that aspect. Would she become a cumslut or a cocksmith?
I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this story. It is so good to be able to read without stumbling over bad grammar and annoying lack of proper punctuation. First rate!
please continue. it would be great to see them end up together. maybe Dave moves to where his sister goes to school after he graduates.
There is much to like here. But, I don't like people who feel that they have to be in the control position all the time. I was married to one. I don't particularily care for 'watersports', and the cabin, the matches, the tinned food, and the comfortable bed all seemed to be all too convenient for them on a tiny uninhabited island. And the end being so sad with them going to opposite ends of the country after declareing their love for each other, not wanting anyone else, and taking each other's virginity just seems to be too much to be able to say that I liked it.
I liked your story, but it seemed very rushed. You had all the pieces, but didn't let it stretch out a deal wander. From hating him to loving him to planning forever. She fucked him but never touched or sucked his cock before. This could have been at least a three chapter story. But I did like the whole Blue Lagoon concept.