All Comments on 'Strange Adventures of Cinnamon Ch. 11'

I mentioned in a comment at the end of the previous chapter about lack of commas causing confusion in written communication.

Here is a perfect example:

You wrote: "...Why did you want to shave?"

As written, the question inquires why someone would want to shave. That might have been your intent, but the dialogue preceeding AND following the question shows that wasn't the intent of the question.

With a comma after 'why', the question changes completely: 'Why, did you want to shave?'

The addition of the comma, changes the dialogue to be a coherent response to the question asked by Cinnamon immediately before asking if women in this world shaved. Instead of the meaning of the comma-less question, this question asks, particularly, if Cinnamom wants to shave.

With the comma, the dialogue flows smoothly past this question, without, I suspect most reader's response would be like mine. I had to stop, re-read the question, then go back, read the dialogue before, then 'edit on the fly', adding the comma, and continue reading.

Hope this helps.

GeoD