All Comments on 'Strange Car in the Driveway: Sequel'

I would never stay with someone that intentionally inflicted cruelty on me. Its the same as why I'd never do it to another person, certainly not the one person that i'm supposed to have their back in all things.

Even so, she should have been involved in the kids lives. It wasn't their fault and they paid too high of a price (imo).

What she did was cruel but she hadn't cheated. He should have come up with some other way to punish her. Surely he should have thought about the kids. Of course once she came home and did the deed, a bit ridiculous in my opinion, then that was a different matter.

I think wives in their minds think the judge going give them everything and hubby gets fuck.

THE MALE WRITERS LIVE IN A UINVERSE KACED WITH LSD. NO REAL COURT GIVES FULL CUSTODY TO THE DAD , A BOSS DOES NOT LOSE ALPHA STATUS TO A SUB. A WIFE DOES NOT SEE THE ERA OF HER WAYS. YOU GUYS THAT HAVE BEEN RAKED OVER THE COALS NEED TO MAN THE HELL UP.

Does anyone really give shit about happened to the slut. It is all the same just slightly different based on lifestyles. She never finds happiness again, she ends up with loser after loser. She always regrets what she did (ah... boo hoo ). Her family has no respect or interest in her. blah blahrDwYUg blah. She gets what she deserves. good riddance

He appears to have killed himself - so she hurries home to find no dead body, and decides to have sex in the next instant?

No degree of ‘suspension of disbelief’ allows for this absurdity.

Wasted my time.

Unless she didn’t fight it at all, how did he get it? I don’t see her not fighting for it. She seemed to hardly feel any guilt about the “play” and affair at all, so wouldn’t feel the need to punish herself with denial to access to the children.

Also, why would he want to deny at least some access to the children to her?

The full custody to him doesn’t make sense in this story.

you fix stupid stories. Or at least make a talented herculean effort to fix stupid stories. I guess no one does a great job every time.

I hope she read the letter next to a trash can. That way she could give the proper critique to her mothers (see stupid slut) letter. It would really be disappointing if she actually had to expend the energy it would require to go to a trash can to throw it away.

deep pain never goes away and the deeper the longer, TK U MLJ LV NV

This is a complete bastardization of EdRider73's clever (although never satisfactorily finished) story of doing rather too much for the sake of your art.

The story simply doesn't conform to any discernible logical progression. Hubby telling them that he's going to kill himself, firing the gun and then hiding in the closet to gauge their reaction is a clever and poetic revenge - but following this by having them running into the room, not finding dead hubby and then immediately screwing on the bed is completely ridiculous. The author could have staged his revenge, then taken the view that they were now even and forgiven her, or he could have decided that her prank was unforgivable and opted for divorce. Either path was logical - although I think that divorce is an overreaction - but having them immediately leaping into bed is a prime example of an author trying to appear clever and ending up looking like a complete idiot.

LA

We're on a site full of 10-inch dicks, 44-DD hooters, and hooker/strippers with a heart of gold. Yet, people complain that this story is unbelievable.

This is an example of plot driving the characters, instead of the reverse. Human beings just don’t act this way. These characters aren’t believable, and so the plot doesn’t work either. I believe the original story moved you and you wanted to show Vera getting her just desserts, but this just didn’t work for me at all.

In what world do you live in? Vera would have gotten custody, alimony and child support. No Court in any Country gives him custody. No way. No how. Horrible ending.

I rarely give one star. I didn’t like this story because of many holes, especially her giving in seconds after checking for. I assume, a body.

Then why did he let the seduction happen?

There was never closure on the story, when they still loved each other ... etc

This is not your normal quality of story writing. The original was better.

Even under extreme pressure Gary kept his head. Rather than going to jail for assault, he was rewarded custody of his daughters. MANY stockbrokers are morally unethical pond scum selling imaginary fake bullshit, (paper) that they claim, while hiding behind a corporate disclaimer, that these investments are solid and have value, HAH! Thus the acting class to hone his skills at spin and BS. Vera was a manipulative and convincing SKANK!!!! Gary won. Corvette John in rainy Seattle

Hardest I've ever seen anybody get cucked. Old georgie boy seems to got a knack for some hardcore cucking.

That's saying a lot considering how bad the first one was. There wasn't a body... I don't think I need to say any more about that. Reg gets away with doing his BS and apparently is praised for it... okay.

What a ride!

I loved it............and hated it.

Then I loved it.

Then I hated it again!

As mentioned in the previous comment there is a glaring weakness in the story.

NO BODY!

There are others...............

If there is no body he must have messed up and could still be in the house somewhere, wounded! His boss should get canned! His employer should be sued! The lecturer should get canned! The university should be sued!

EXCEPT............

Why would he shoot himself in the first place???? If he is that pissed off....shoot her!

Alternative ending????

The gun really was one of a pair; He gets some tomato sauce, smears some on his head, and pours some on floor; pushes door shut and fires a couple or three rounds into the mattress so the powder smell will mask any tomato smell (and closed door keeps the room sealed) then lies on the floor on the 'blood'; the couple walk in, she picks up the gun and shoots herself............and hubby and Reg are left in deep shit!

Or is the entire plot premised on Vera rushing home convinced her beloved Gary was lying on the bedroom floor in a pool of blood and not noticing there was neither blood nor body when she and Reg charged in? Explain.

make a worth reading story. Original was bad, sequel no better. Cruelty upon cruelty, should have sued his boss. SAD.

I think edrider73 has some major manhood issues not just based on this story either. In all his stories the men are all treated like dirt by women who are assholes. These assholes never face any consequences, nor do they have any redeeming characteristics at all. He also leaves too many stories unfinished just like this one. I'm not sure what his goal is in all that. It's not quite how I would have ended the story but I'm no author.

what happened to penny at denies?

slap hapy papy #9

Still Reg needed his head smashed in with a 9 iron.

That should have been "coitus mortis"

In the original story Penny, Reg and Vera were at the Denny's monitoring the bedroom.

On hearing Gary apparently shoot himself they rushed back to the house - with no further mention of Penny - why?

Did she stay for another coffee?

On finding the bedroom empty why did they not suspect a trap? considering they thought Gary had a gun?

My own inclination would be to get away to a safe distance as quickly as possible. Not let's have sex on the marital bed and see if we can draw him out. That's just inviting coitus mortus.

The rest of it could possibly work if it were thought through - although as it stands little or no improvement on the unfinished original.

Sorry.

Except at the end when Reg got away with everything. Was he really married with children? His Prof is a grate one asshole

dumber than the original shit. *

Or is the Aftermath told strictly from a third person’s view? The voicing sounds like Gary narrating as the story as an omniscient viewer. If so, then within the story he finds out about Reg ‘s little gambit. If so this is the time to finish the guy. Dark alley? Oops, he ran into my iron pipe i found at the construction yard.. It’s too bad no one was there to see the accident, so could dial 911.

I really like the turn that was done using Vera’s letter. Very clever of the author. Excellent story line. Reasonably believable dialog. No major grammatical or spelling error. This is a so,id 4-stars, maybe even 4.5-stars. But I only (almost) give 5 stars to pieces I feel MIGHT become a Literotica classic (or already is and I’m just tossing in my 2 cents). So, 4-stars it is.

but not believable. Where was the body etc etc.

Not my favorite of your stories. When she didn't find the body on the floor, there should have been a major, "What, what?!?" moment that might have backed them up from the precipice. Maybe not...her actions with the play were quite cruel...but maybe. By not exploring that obvious plot hole, the rest didn't work for me.

You'll notice that must of the critics are Anonymous and they'll rather vulgar in their critiques. Sad. You've written better stories and this one is not your best, but keep writing maybe your future critics will have their heads out of their asses.

Some of the worst shit written on this site! Why the hell didn't he break in on them when they actually did start to fuck and pound the hell out of the ass-wipe???

Why the hell did you let the ass-wipe "slide" in the story???

Maybe because you're as big and ass-wipe as your characters!

She runs into the bedroom and doesn't wonder why there isn't a dead body?

He gets custody of the kids but the wife doesn't visit at all? First of all, why didn't they get shared custody? Second, even if he has custody she would still get visitation, and even stupid bitches care about their children. No amount of guilt would stop her from seeing her kids.

What about Penny (Reg's wife) and his two kids? Was that all made up? I could believe that but you didn't even mention it.

What about Kara? Would have been nice to get her reaction since she was part of the last story.

--------

Some other Criticism:

The teacher likes seeing Reg destroy marriages? I never heard that from even the craziest of feminists. Wouldn't Reg seducing women and treating them like trash be a part of the patriarchy and a sign of his disrespect towards women? I could see this thinking come from a woman scorned who now hates men or a slut that doesn't give a shit, but not a feminist.

The sex on the bed seemed to be entirely done to make sure they wouldn't get back together. Going along with it all being an act would have been much more interesting. Seems like you thought it would have been too challenging and took the easy route.

Also, I have a complaint about the original story but since I'm writing this I might as well just leave it here. Why was his boss let in on it? Vera could have just said she is planning something special. The boss probably would have been more willing to let him go if she did that. It added unnecessary drama.

Nice ploy with the book. Wife enters the bedroom not finding a body, bloody brains all over the wall and no evidence of a shooting. She then immediately starts having sex with her writer/partner. What??????? Too foolish to even consider.

How does he get the kids? She doesn't even visit them after the divorce.

This version has more holes than swiss cheese.

Give it up you suck,

First I would have been waiting behind front door and just as soon as soon as wife got inside door slam in Reggies face and she would get an ultimatum. I think this might have broken the Reggie spell. Neither were happy apart from each other.

Your sequel is only pathetic crap!!!

pathetic cuck shit.

when the wife and reg arrived and there was no corpse. She was distraught, so she decided, hey ill just fuck this guy here. The plot here is unbelievable, unless the wake is mental.

Hard to believe that she was so distraught over the supposed suicide of her husband that she fell in bed with Reg. How in the hell is that a mood maker?

I only get upset about two things 1. Writers who waste our time and don't finish a story complete arrogance

2.idiots who think they write better than 1. And don't know how stupid they make themselves look again complete arrogance

Oh my husband just blew his brain out I must fuck someone right now.

Too many inconsistences, not enough revenge. No need to repeat what other commenters have said. Four stars for the great way he raised the kids.

Pure crapola!

Where did she think his body went,with no blood around,when she and the weasel showed up at the house? And she'd start fuckin' the weasel without knowing what had actually happened?

And the dipshit husband! Why the fuck didn't he stop the weasel if he really loved his wife?

No sir! The whole fuckin' thing just doesn't make a damn bit of sense!

Revenge for Reg

You gave that predator a wonderful lfe

... but it fails. No way she jumps in bed with her guy when she thinks her husband has just shot himself..

stick to original writing, this "sequel" was "awful"

You took something original and drowned it in mendacity.

No forgiveness here, to bad. I would of made her jump through hoops to get her family back, eventually I'd of forgiven her, eventually. He couldn't find someone else? What utter BS!

Sorry, it is. Weak pathetic male character, can't find another partner and can never be happy again. Blah

Won't read anymore from this author, it is probably all the same crap.

First - it makes no sense. She thinks he killed himself, she rushes home but doesn't find a body and then jumps in to bed with Greg??

Second- while not a big fan of BTB there certainly needed some vengeance on cheating Greg.

Third - I hate when the innocent victim leads a sad lonely life. Why couldn't he have found someone else? Best revenge is living well.

The beginning of the story was good and definitely what I was feeling but then it veered way way off course.

Thank you for trying to conclude the story. I really hate when authors leave a story open ended like the original.

the mans at fault and the woman was right to cheat, this is why Trump won, this female point of view.

Racc shit kill them both and the mom and the sister...listen u you fem try to write real story where the men are not wimps or yes men. So she is smart but she cant find a way to show she sees his side? and yes killing the slut with while a crime is not a sin....he is not murdering but killing her to clear his mind and focus. You cant murder a slut, you are just cleaning the gene pool.

I gave this story a 1 because this site is not set up to accept negative number ratings. So other than the lowest number possible I would also like to say to the writer...FUCK YOU !!!

The several stories you wrote all have one thing in common....the wronged party always gets fucked over by the end !!!

If you had any BALLS maybe you could write a BTB story but until then....STOP taking it up the ass !!!

REALLY?

I believe this wife needed to be destroyed utterly, this was not it. It was just not painful enough of a revenge story. And yes, the husband had revenge. He shut down and lived his life dying a little everyday, that is his revenge. This was just sad.

Ending was bogus

no dead husband with his brains splattered all over the bed so they decided to fuck?

or was it dark and they wanted to fuck over the top of her husbands still warm corpse?

Great story but the only issue is them getting it on when there should be at minimum a blood splatter if not a body in the room. Not to mention probably calling an ambulance or the cops. I still think the story would've gone where you took it but that middle part was just weird.

Seriously, who would want to have sex in the bedroom where your spouse just killed themselves 10 minutes before.

With a weak ending, however, . I can't think of a better one, given the lead in. So them fucking in a room with a missing body is the suspension of belief.

i think you painted yourself into a corner

Worth the read

chilley

Luckily I read them in alpha order, which made this the last. If I'd gone by date order I wouldn't have read past this one. It has good grammar and spelling but is a rubbish story.

Just goes to show how practice improves.

You can be very good indeed Mr Anderson. More please.

First off note said penny was with them.

Secondly she would have found body before sex.

Third I think he would have stepped out and beat the crap out of him before seducer even got all the way inside room. Then I would deal with wife.

Vera would have a new outlook on life if she wanted to stay married.

But I guarantee you that reg would not even consider undressing in my room.

Jesus, dude, you've read three of GA's stories and written the same comment. Why do you keep reading? Give it a rest.

Pat Boones Friendly Persuasion. TK U MLJ LV NV

She thinks her husband killed himself, rushed home, found no body, so she starts screwing Reg. Just NOT believable even for a WAACC.

Then you write he is too much of a wimp to get on with his life and remarry.

Your neurosis is getting in the way of your writing. Better get some help or quit writing.

The way the previous story ended was just all kinds of messed up. While I think that her cheating on him with Reg after the gunshot was a little heavy, I do thank you for giving it a different spin, there had to be some consequences for her actions. Too bad Reg didn't receive any punishment and that the two kids got to have a broken home from all that mess.

Not perfect, and a bit of a rushed ending but a good ending. Thank you

So everyone will know the scores are shit and you stand a better chance of your opinion being used if you vote 2 instead of one. Get over it asshole I ca write what I want.

2 because it is the lowest score the computer will recognize in rating. -1 is ignored. At times you might see a 1 something, but it will disappear quickly. Some writers never have a score lower than 4 counted. The cheating fat cunt laurel fucks with all the scores. That is why some of the previous low scores are so high now, they were recompiled with the -1 and even 2 and 3 dropped. Think of how many 5 you need to get to offset a -1 and be above 4.5. That presumes no 2 and 3 either.

Dude, what's your problem? How many times are you going to leave that same comment? You didn't like the story. You don't like any story, we get it. Leaving the same comment over and over isn't clever, it's just asinine. Why can't you be polite and quit being so profane? Just say, "I didn't like this story. The plot sucked and you made a bunch of mistakes." Why the outrage?

It was a very credible finish to a story that the original author really screwed up. Of course, all that author's stories are really screwed up. You did an excellent job with what you had to work with. You're a very good writer. No wonder the story you wrote with Randi was so good. 4.81, last time I looked. Lit! I hope your write more of your own stories. I though "Fridays" was very well written.

Henceforth, the same moderators are to chicken shit to create a cuck/wimp category. Stupid idiots!

georgie the cuck.

Any time wife chooses to spend a good deal of time with another man she will end up cheating. You let her and Reg succeed and Gary be destroyed. Sad but that is realistic end.

Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com

True life serial cheater feels no guilt Her 3rd husband is destroyed and humiliated. She did lose college instructor in Helena Montana position though but she last worked for Secretary of State-Montana. Better job may pay still highly regarded narcissistic borderline personality though. In my opinion sociopath. Has staed she enjoys being cruel hateful and causing destruction in other lives.

Believe the profile is an attempt at karma. Check it out

Why add to a poor storyline with more of the same dim stuff. There is nothing more to add.

stupid cuck shit.

set a dump on it too !?, naaahh, not worth enough

Anyway your story is not bad at all.

Good emotions. Sure, screwing Reg right after not finding a body was silly and implausible. Perhaps some dialogue and convincing her about why her husband ran out on her would have made the seduction more real. Oh well. I still got the emotional impact, however flawed. I am drawn to stories where the wife isn't an air headed slut, but has a fatal step that leads to her downfall. That part was good, and the aftermath of fallout was appropriate. Good job.

One thing puzzles me - he pretended to kill himself, they came back to the house and didn't wonder where his body was?

Good reply by faking the suicide. Then it went downhill fast and stupid things started happening.

1. There was no body and they didn't get suspicious.

2. They rutted when he must have been nearby

3. He got custody of the kids.

she tried to excuse herself. Only proper answer; "Well...you got it!"

good story

Vote 1* for every story rated by THE FAT WHORE (that's what her clients call her) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka ANON!

to offset the old fat ugly asshole of LIT's 1 vote

edrider is a sick fuck. so is GeorgeAnderson. two fags.

but I'd spit on your grave. Gave this a 5

no body? no blood? and yet shes so turned on by her husbands possible suicide that she needs cock imediately? maybe they would have liked to do it over her husbands corpse? dripping their love juices all over his still warm dead body?

In the original story, a 'gunshot' and body dropping to the floor were detailed. But no body and no blood. And I agree with almost everybody else about Reg and wifey falling into bed to indulge in what? Remorse sex, not knowing where her gun-happy husband was or if he would show up unexpectedly and be in the mood to put bullets into both of their adulterous bodies? Phone pictures in darkened room? I do approve of the lateral transfer in his job. I agree that he had a strong case for full custody of both girls. I have seen fathers be awarded full custody of children with far less substantiated evidence. A local judge recently awarded full custody of all three children of the girlfriend of a meth head to the guy, and one child was hers by another man, after they broke up. So...the father getting full custody over a brutal, adulterous woman is a no-brainer. Still too many flaws. And quit trying to show the wifey as repentant.

This sequel is just one step from being a five star story. Unfortunately, like the offense(s)* presented to Hubby, the step was MASSIVE! No blood, no body! Sweetie (and her Soon-To-Be-Bull) both were expecting to find the suicide of her 'true love.' Among other aspects on one or both of their minds was dealing with the childre, the community and the police. When they find no blood and no body, the issues EXPAND, rather than contract. Where is the body? How did it disappear? How do we start to figure out this shit?

Reg would NOT be expecting this to be the prime moment to finish his sexual conquest of His target. Because he is in the middle of a very confusing and impactful conundrum. Even if HE were not, he would know that Sweetie would not be sexually vulnerable in this pandemonium. Even IF Sweetie and her Bull had been sexually involved since they first met, and even IF they were planning on dropping their current spouses and marrying each other, this is NOT the circumstance in which they would get frisky!

So, like Sweetie in this story insulting Hubby, GeoAnd went WAY TOO FAR in insulting We-The-Readers credulity. Two points worth!

3*

* Offenses:

Big - screwing Reg;

Major - Dishonesty, emotional manipulation & cruelty

the original was pure idiotic crap not deserving of a sequel. this was not as bad, but almost.

It was too stupid to finish reading. Where was the body she was expecting to see when she walked into the bedroom? If story telling is your hobby you might want to reconsider that choice.

Not believable. Where was the body supposed to be and she never would have fallen into bed like that.

Long time penance for what she did maybe but not this

Custody unlikely also

Your story made a good story a very good story. I agree that the original ending left me hanging as to what were the consequences of that play. Your take gave it depth of emotion. Thanks for your effort.

a good try but there was just too much to overcome to make it believable or acceptable. Even in story land. I understand Gary's initial inertia, but after a bit he should have been proactive and not passive/aggresive. He had to have had alarm bells going off like claxons after his talk with her, so he should have expected something. As I said in retort to edrider's pile, this level of disrespect and disregard called for anialation. An extreme nuclear reaction. Too many people involved to keep it quiet, friends, his boss and I would bet everyone in the class. Of course everyone but Vera and Reg would have just be collateral damage, but they surely should have been damaged. And the two principals should have been dealt with with extreme prejudice. A wife that would stoop to this level would have to have such a loathing for her husband that she would more than likely kill him in his sleep. And Reg just because I didn't like him. And he was a disruptive prick.

Again, good try. So far I think you are the only one brave enough to attempt to take this one farther.

With that level of mental and emotional cruelty he could well get custody.

As the family court expression goes "For the good of the child" and that kind of callous indifference isn't good.

Too much of what she did would leave a trail of evidence for the court to ignore.

Sex on the side is one thing, deliberate harm is another.

Just stop writing. You suck at it.

on my Literotica debut! I had wondered how much I should explain Vera in a story told from Gary's point of view. The answer, obviously, is 'more than I did.' I had considered writing this story as a he said - she said (alternating points of view), or perhaps appending Vera's chapter in Reg's e-book "How to Seduce the 'Faithful' [sic] Wife." I can see now that either would have made it a better story: conciseness isn't everything!

I am taking commenters' advice and working on a story of my own, rather than reworking this one. But for those of you who want answers about these characters as I see them, here they are.

Vera concludes from what she heard over the tablet that Gary's body would have to be in the bedroom. It isn't there, so Gary isn't dead. Her "What have I done?" basically translates to "This didn't go the way I thought it would."

As EdRider73's story opens, it seems obvious to me that Vera has completely stopped caring about Gary. Otherwise, she would not have gone through with her plot. She wants him -- and in her self-absorption, she calls that wanting, 'love' -- but his feelings, his needs, his well-being, even the promises she made him, are unimportant to her. She just doesn't care. Thus she has no reason not to let Reg 'console' her. The contradictions in her letter are also resolved by the fact that she wants Gary but doesn't care about him.

I agree with those who commented that Gary is weak: I carried that over from the original. A stronger husband would have tried harder the previous night to hold her to their promise to tell each other everything -- a promise which, if kept, might have saved their marriage.

Gary's inability to get over Vera isn't entirely his fault. His younger daughter, who is the spitting image of her mother, is a constant reminder of everything he once loved about Vera -- and there was a lot. I think he'll get out more after his daughter leaves home.

I think that because of his weakness, her self-absorption, and their premarital history, this was never a strong marriage. I think they both realized that, hence their rules. Once she broke them, they were finished.

As for Reg: yes, one of the husbands did come after him. But Reg offered him a good deal on a house and a weekend with Penny, and now he's Reg's wingman. Bwahh-hah-hah...

Thanks again for reading and commenting!

In Georgia the serial cheater parent will lose the children custody.

One of comment parts I read a poster wrote. He got the children custody in Missouri because the wife fucked the lover in the next room where the kids played.

In Europe the ex wives get the children custody in 99.98% but in USA about 98% this is 100 times better!

......to the father are rarer than hen's teeth.

Then there's the obvious missing and inevitable visitation.

Finally, five years after the fact, he may still be carrying a boatload of emotional baggage, but very, very few men would not have made the effort to get laid. If finding the right girl and in a moment when defenses are down, she got through to him, he'd soon be on the high road to marriage.....or long term cohabitation, leading eventually to marriage. I did mention emotional baggage, didn't I? Once burned, twice shy...was coined for just this situation....no, really. This EXACT circumstance.

So, lost points for being a little too fantastic and so, not realistic enough.

In glancing over some of the contents, you have your usual mix of "hate it" and "loved it." I read this story when it was first posted, and I agree, I hated to see hubby sitting there in despair. I think you gave the logical conclusion, even though I hate what it did to the daughters. But if I was deceived like this, I don't think I could recover, especially with them jumping into bed together when Vera came running back home. 5 *'s

BTB

I hate to say it because Harry is such an ass hole, but like I said earlier, write your own stuff. You'll be happier for it.

Someone needs to write a follow up were Reg gets his nuts cut off!!!

While it had a few gaps, made a couple of "Huhs?", this did a great pick off of the original.

Well done.