by soul71
Very hot and Perverted!. The descriptions are natural and simulating. Great work soull71. A masterpiece !.
Hope he finds the cameras and rips them out and let's them know what he thinks about being spied on.
Very good, excellent descriptions very hot, just one other small comment, all clubs like that, that I know of, never use last names when being introduced. Otherwise very good, my sister and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Really enjoying the story, can't wait for the next part and I'm all for joining Martin and Rachel, the only thing I don't like is Martins mother I can't stand her
I like how they were all like you only need us. But when they came to the camp they started to talk about William while fucking Martin. Like Jesus ironic much?
I think the story concept is good, but there are some readability issues. There are a lot of incomplete sentences and several instances where it gets confusing because you can't tell which character is talking or being described. Keep writing. I recommend having someone proofread and edit before you publish.
Bring Lulu back soon to have some fun with the family. But I hope there’s not much action with Rachel’s brother/ father