Strings in Seattle Pt. 02

I looked up the last flight of stairs as I set my suitcase down, trying to catch my breath for a moment after already having dragged it up three flights.

I was seriously debating on just leaving it there, living out of it as it stayed on my staircase for the next few days until it was light enough to not be such a torture to transport.

This wasn't the first time I was regretting living in a building that didn't have an elevator, but the rent was cheap and it was a ten minute walk away from the campus. You win some and you lose some.

I took another deep breath, picking my suitcase up again, forcing myself through the last flight up as my muscles screamed at me, finally making it then. Making use of the wheels on the suitcase once again, I headed down the hallway towards my apartment, pulling my keys out my pocket as I walked.

I didn't know where to look first when I walked into my apartment, the mess that was everywhere or my roommate/best friend, that was sprawled out half naked on our couch with a fan blowing on him.

"Jesus Christ Ethan."

He raised his head as he looked over to me, still standing in our doorway as I took the state of our place in. "Oh hey, you're back."

"You would know that if you checked you're phone more than once a week."

He rolled over onto his back, scratching his stomach as he shook his head at me. "No thank you."

I went over to where he was, dropping down onto the couch next to him as he sat up, making some space for me.

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom real quick and then you can tell me all about Seattle." He got up, giving em a quick kiss on the cheek before turning away, stretching as he walked out of the room then. I stayed where I was, waiting for him to come back, I wasn't even sure where to begin when it came to my summer.

There was the part where I was left alone to run a cafe with no idea what I was doing, the part where I had run into the father of my childhood best friend, remembered how hot he was and spent several weeks trying to get him to stop seeing me as the kid that used to come around his house, the part where a tree fell onto my house and almost killed me, or the part where I got the father of said childhood best friend to fuck me finally, and then again and again over the last few weeks?

I knew Ethan wouldn't care where I started, as long as I gave him all the details.

This was our third year of living together, having met towards the end of my freshman year at the university when it turned out we had been dating the same guy, both of us quickly kicking him to the curb then as we hit it off.

We had a lot in common, particularly our taste in men, and living with him for the most part was fun, even if he did tend to go into little depressive episodes while letting the place go to shit in the process, he always made up for it by being the best friend you could ask for.

As I had assumed, Ethan ate it all up, wanting more details than I was willing to give. "You got a picture at least? I wanna know what he looks like."

I shook my head at him. "No photos sorry." I let out a small sigh, already anticipating his next question. "And he doesn't have social media either, I already checked."

I gave him a cheeky grin. "Just think Henry Cavill but with tattoos and a five o'clock shadow."

Ethan raised his eyebrows at me. "Damn, lucky."

I didn't say anything back, daydreaming for a moment as I thought about the night before, the way he had made sure to give me a proper send off on my last night in Seattle.

"So when you going to see him again?" Ethan asked after a moment, bringing me back out of my thoughts.

"We're not."

"What? Why?"

I let out a sigh, shrugging my shoulders sadly. "He says I shouldn't waste my time on him, the age difference bothers him." I gave Ethan a small side eye, knowing he was going to get a kick out of this next part. "And also, I used to be best friends with his daughter, she would kill us if she ever found out."

Ethan's mouth fell open for a moment before he guffawed, swatting my arm with the back of his hand. "Lexi, you did not."

"Oh, I did." I gave him another cheeky grin, winking then. "Several times."

Later that night I was lying in bed, beyond exhaustion at that point after my flight back to Phoenix that morning followed by spending the rest of the day to clear out Ethan's depression cave so that the place looked like an actual apartment again, and yet unable to fall asleep.

I had spent the last weeks falling asleep next to Daniel, my bed felt empty and strange, like it wasn't even mine.

There was nothing more that I wanted to do right than roll onto my side, place my hand on his chest, feels his hands on me, hear his voice, whispering low and seductively in my ear.

I couldn't even call him since he had refused to exchange numbers, saying there would be no way we would be able to stick to our no contact deal if we were to do that. He was right, I would have already called him if that were the case.

I never should have agreed to it, should have spent more of my time trying to convince him that the whole thing was idiotic. The age difference didn't bother me one bit, I know when an older man is trying to manipulate me and when he is genuinely interested in me, or like to believe so at least.

And I knew Daniel was nothing if not interested, it was already obvious from just the way he would look at me. There was a desire in his eyes in those moments that I had never seen I another man's eyes when looking at me.

The way he would smile to himself, watching me when he thought I wouldn't notice.

The feeling of his hands, so frequently finding their way to my waist as he inhaled slowly, as if he was taking all of me in in one deep breath.

I eventually gave up on sleeping in my bed, grabbing my blanket then and heading into Ethan's room where I then nudged him, trying to get him to move as he was stretched out across his bed.

He peaked an eye open at me, making a small groaning noise. "What?"

"Move, I'm sleeping in here tonight."

He did as I said, giving me some space as he flopped onto his back, speaking groggily. "What's wrong with your room?"

"Everything."

He made a small mumbling sound, already returning to his dreams as I got settled next to him, feeling a little better as they space next to me was filled at least.

The next weeks continued much the same, even after classes started up again, no matter what I was barely able to get Daniel off of my mind.

Not only was this problematic for the obvious reason, I was in my last year of university, the one year that really mattered, I had several internship opportunities coming up and this kind of distraction was the last thing I needed.

Even Ethan was slowly growing tired of it, no longer interested in me crashing in his room on nights where I couldn't sleep, finally snapping at me in the third week of my turmoil. "Either find a way to contact him or go find a guy that bangs you good enough so you forget him already."

I knew he was right, even if his second suggestion didn't sound like much of an option to me at that point, I had to find a way to move on.

What was I going to do though? Send him a post card and ask him to call me?

A different option hit me later that evening when I was in the shower, it was a little out there but worth a try at least.

I went back into my room after my shower, leaving Ethan to himself in the living room as I flopped down onto my stomach on my bed and reached for my phone.

There were two landline numbers I remembered from my childhood, mine, and Cara's, having dialed it on the daily after school.

My mom still had her landline connected for whatever reason, so maybe Daniel would too.

If not, there's always postcards, right?

I put the number into my phone, hesitating for another moment, this was borderline crazy and I knew it. The thing though was that if I didn't do this I was going to legit go crazy.

I hit the call button and brought my phone up to my ear, nervously pinching at my bottom lip as it began ringing.

There were several rings before he finally picked up, sounding baffled on the other end.

"Hello?"

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out as I realized how insane this actually was, Daniel spoke into the other end again after a moment. "Hello?"

"Holy shit, I can't believe it actually worked." I finally spoke, not wanting him to hang up on me, there was a pause on the other end before he spoke again, quieter this time. "Lexi?"

"Yes." I answered him, letting out a short nervous giggle then. "I can't believe you actually still have your house phone."

I heard him laugh quietly on the other end. "To be honest I forgot I did, it took me a minute to figure out where the ringing was coming from." He continued after a short pause. "It's nice to hear your voice though."

I smiled to myself as I rolled onto my back, feeling a lot less nervous now that I was talking to him.

"Yeah? I thought you might get mad or think it's weird."

"It's only weird because I was just thinking about you." Daniel replied, still speaking quietly, as if he didn't want someone to overhear us.

"Mmm, what were you thinking about?"

He didn't respond again as I heard a rustling sound on his end. "Is the number you called from your cell?"

"Yes."

"I'll call you back in a minute." He hung up then, not saying anything else to me before he let me go.

I stayed lying on my back staring up at my phone as I waited for him to call, smiling again when it started ringing a couple minutes later as an unknown mobile number appeared on my screen.

"Hello? Who is calling me from an unknown number at this hour? So rude." I answered teasingly, hearing Daniel chuckle quietly again on the other end then. "Hey."

I couldn't help but smile into the phone, sitting up in my bed again then. "Hi."

"Why did you think I would be mad at you?" Daniel asked again after a moment, the sound of a wine bottle being opened echoing in the background then.

"Because it's breaking our deal."

There was another pause, long enough this time for me to check my screen that he was still there, when he spoke in a low grumble finally. "I think we both know we're not very good at sticking to those."

I let out a little smirking noise, thinking back to attempts at previous deals of staying away from one another.

"There's a problem with that deal that we need to discuss anyways."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"I hate it." I stated matter of factly, not hesitating to show my displeasure. Daniel didn't say anything, only letting out a long breath. "Tell me that you don't as well."

He responded quickly this time. "Oh, I do, but that wasn't the point. You know we shouldn't be doing this as much as I do."

"Should I not have called?" I asked him, sensing a turn in the conversation.

"No. I mean yes. No." He sighed again, as I imagined him running a hand through his hair as he often did when he was frustrated with something, especially me. "Fuck."

"I don't really know which one of those responses I'm supposed to go with now." I replied when he didn't say anything else, wishing I could just be there so I could at least see his face, see what he was really thinking.

"I don't either." Daniel responded, continuing after a second. "We talked about this though."

"I know but things change."

"What's changed?"

"That I didn't think I would miss you this much."

Daniel was full of frustrated sighs, letting another one out then. "Lexi."

I didn't respond, already knowing what he was going to say. "You're supposed to be enjoying you're time in college and not wasting it an old bore like me."

I let out another short laugh as I shook my head. "Did you just seriously call yourself an old bore? You're not even 40." Continuing again after a moment. "And you're definitely not boring."

"I will be soon enough, I turn 39 next week, and the next year will go flying by just like all the other's have." Daniel retorted, ignoring my other statement.

"It's your birthday next week? Any plans?" I asked him, deflecting from our conversation then.

"Cara is coming back to town for the weekend so just hanging out with her and Rufus."

I was tempted to make a joke about saying hi to Cara for me but I knew he wouldn't find any amusement in it, already feeling bad enough as it was. "Give Rufus some belly rubs for me."

"Will do."

Neither of us said anything for a minute as I wasn't interested in going back to what we had been talking about before, Daniel seemingly not wanting to either.

"So how's Phoenix?"

"Hot and boring."

I stayed on the phone for a little while longer after that, telling him about my classes and applications and he told me a little about his job search, before finally saying bye to each other but not until he had returned to our previous disagreement, making me once again agree to not call him again, still not willing to back down from his standpoint, making a final point that the states separating us were just another reason we should stop before someone gets hurt.

Doesn't mean I didn't like it any less though, or that he didn't either.

~~~

He managed to make it a few days before going back on his word later that week and sending me a text a little after 3 in the morning so that I woke up to to it, smugly joyed then that I wasn't the one to break his rules that time around.

Daniel

3:13 am

[Dammit Lexi, why?]

Lexi

7:47 am

[Why what?]

Daniel

7:51 am

[Why did you have to remind me

how hard it is to stay away from you?]

I smiled as I read his response, only coming in a few minutes after I had replied to him and rolled over in my bed, not ready to get up yet.

Lexi

7:52 am

[I could tell you, but

you won't like my answer.]

I sent another text a minute later, curious what he was doing up already if he had still been awake four hours earlier.

Lexi

7:53 am

[What are you doing up already?]

Daniel

7:54 am

[The problem isn't that I won't

like it, you should know that by now.]

Daniel

7:55 am

[Can't sleep, what about you?]

Lexi

7:56 am

[I have morning classes today.]

Lexi

7:56 am

[Call me tonight?]

Daniel

7:58 am

[I was already planning on it.]

I got out of bed then, in a much better mood than I had been the previous days as I got ready for school, meeting Ethan out in the kitchen then where he was standing by the kitchen sink as he quickly ate a bowl of cereal.

"You seem chipper."

I smiled at Ethan as I poured some coffee into my travel mug. "I am."

"Any reason?"

I hadn't told Ethan about calling Daniel yet, not seeing the point if we had just returned to where we had been before I had called him, but now I wanted to talk about it. "I'll tel you on the way to campus, you ready to go?"

He nodded, bringing his bowl up to his lips then to drink the last of the milk before tossing it in the sink. "Let's go."

Classes were extra torturous that day, each hour feeling longer than the one before, making the day feel endless, and me answer my phone a little too quickly and eagerly by the time Daniel called me that evening.

"Hey."

"Hey." Daniels voice came through on the other end, sounding slightly breathless.

"What are you doing?"

"I just got back from a jog with Rufus. What about you?"

"Exercising at this hour?" I laughed quietly, answering his question. "I'm in bed like a normal person."

I heard him let out a quiet laugh. "I had a lot on my mind, I thought it might help."

"Did it?"

"Not really."

"What's on your mind?"

"What do you think?" He grumbled on the other end, not enjoying my obvious questioning.

I smiled to myself, satisfied that I seemed to have the same effect on him as he did on me. "Were you thinking about our last night together? Cause I think about it a lot." I asked him, still having my fun with teasing him. Daniel let out a groan. "Why are you doing this to me?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "You were weren't you?"

"I was thinking about all of it." He let out a frustrated sigh. "It's all I seem to do lately."

"Same."

Daniel paused before he spoken in a low whisper. "This isn't good."

"I know, but it still feels good to talk to you."

I woke up to Ethan knocking on my door the next morning and looked over to him as he poked his head into my room. "Why are you still in bed? We gotta get going in ten minutes."

I sat up, looking for my phone then and found it under my pillow, dead from having fallen asleep while on the phone with Daniel the night before. I couldn't even remember when I had passed out but we had stayed up talking for quite some time.

"I'll hurry." I said to Ethan rushing to get out of bed then. "Can I borrow your power bank today?" I asked him before he left, knowing there wouldn't be time to charge my phone before we left.

"Yeah, I'll go grab it."

I hurried to get ready then, not really caring what I wore before I went into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, meeting Ethan just in time to get going as he held his power bank out to me. "Thanks."

I plugged my phone in as we walked down the street and towards campus, looking down to it then as I felt it vibrate as a text came in from Daniel, sent at 2:38 in the morning, the time I had fallen asleep I'm guessing.

[Good night <3]

I smiled as I looked down at the text, sending hearts didn't really seem like something Daniel would do. Ethan of course noticed and looked over to see what was making me smile, nudging my arm then. "I'm guessing the call went good last night?"

"It was good enough." I answered him, still looking down at the text, debating on if I should send a good morning text back.

I decided against it, instead going about my day as I ignored it.

If there was one thing that was slowly becoming clear to me about Daniel, it was good to let him squirm a little, let him chase.

I did stop by the mall after my classes though, spending my afternoon searching for a small birthday gift for him before finally settling on a coffee mug key chain, a small reminder of where we had run into each other that summer, and sent it to him in the mail on my way home.

Just like I expected he didn't write or text me that day or the days after that, it wasn't until that next Monday, just a few minutes after I got the delivery notification on my phone that he had received his present, that my phone finally rang.

"Hey there stranger."

He gave me his familiar chuckle as a greeting. "Stranger? Aren't I the one that was left on read?"

"Fair point. Did you get my apology gift?"

"That's why I was calling actually."

"Happy belated birthday."

"Thank you."

There was another pause between us, me slowly getting frustrated then, all I wanted to do was be there with him or have him there with me. "What are you doing right now?"

"Just hanging out at my house, why?"

"Want to video chat?" I asked him, at least then I could see him, Daniel hesitated on the other end though. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"I think it's a fantastic idea." I continued when he didn't say anything back, knowing what I needed to say to get him to agree, speaking in a low tone then. "What if I let you watch while I touch myself again?"

He let out a short sigh as he hung up, calling back seconds later with a video call request then, I accepted it and smiled again as Daniels face appeared on my screen. "Much better."

I could tell that he was trying to hide a smile as he shook his head at me. "You're killing me, you know that?"

"Death is unavoidable Daniel, might as well make the most out of it while you can." I retorted cheekily, he smiled finally, heading up his stairs then. "I'm about to."

I got up from my bed and went to lock my bedroom door, not wanting Ethan to walk in on me, watching Daniel then as he headed into his own room and sat down on his bed. "You look good, Arizona seems to suit you."