All Comments on 'Strip Poker Set Up'

by carvohi

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  • 32 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Interesting read

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would after the first few paragraphs. I think you could explore the adventures of Charles and Laura further and I would read them. Keep writing you have a unique style and it is engaging to me.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Hi

I really liked the way you introduced the different POVs of the story. Very engaging and made it feel like you were really talking to the reader.

I sort of wish Lauren hadn't been part of setting it all up. I would have preferred Glynn (was that his name?) and Tiffany being the sole architects - having seen this couple's attraction. But that's just a personal wish :)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Too much

Get yourself an editor-or just be more brutal with your own work. The setup to the setup which came before the setup was just too much.

Probably a great story, but I gave up.

SqueezeplaySqueezeplayabout 13 years ago
Liked it!

Good job! Keep writing. A few typos here and there but it did not detract from the story.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
I liked it too

I would have liked these 2 main characters to have at least a second chapter, but this fairy tale wrapped up '... everyone lived happily ever after' so quickly that I cannot see this one continuing. Pity!

joe_boxsterjoe_boxsterabout 13 years ago
More Lauren

Great story with a twist. I'd like to see where this goes with them.

I like that she is kind of sweet and discovering sex with him. I'd like to see her discover more.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Excellent Story

It was a great story but the setup needed to be a little less obvious. But overall a great story and I would love to read more.

SteinermanSteinermanabout 13 years ago
Thanks!

Very nice! Thanks for sharing.

And yes, I would like to see where this goes.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago

good story. dont ruin it by bringing in another sexual player. keep it romantic.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Bullshit

Owners of businesses never do this shit with their employees and employees who have not been promoted for decades never become VPs. It is all crap

auhunter04auhunter04over 12 years ago
couple of things

In one way I liked the story where girl gets boy, and it is an unusual twist.

It made me very uncomfortable, In many ways I am chuckie boy...no Lauren. Had I been at the party, when they started the strip thing I would have invited myself to leave, what the fuck I was leaving the company anyway.

the super promotion --not a good idea--can lead to all sorts of management problems, not the least of which is EEO complaints for creating an uncomfortable workplace.

As wonderful as our country is it still has and will always have growing pains. Discrimination comes in many forms. There are two very big elements, sexual discrimination and sexual harassment in this story. Both of these elements can will and has broken the back of many a company, a person and lives

I envy the hell out of Charles, and this is fiction so I know all rules are out, but I have served as an EEO specialist and my trusty shining armour stands ready in the corner

On another level I thought the story is very well done, polished even (see me being Charles rescuing you from the skewering I just gave)

Ya I got a fucked up mind, wanna do something about it? Meet me out back and we will settle it. You go ahead, If I am not there in 5 min start with out me -- I would have been long gone out the front door.

If you wanna say something about what I have said, say it to my "face" take my Id to the "Y"

--this comment has not been read or reviewed, I posted it just the way my mind and fingers have worked---

TavadelphinTavadelphinalmost 11 years ago
I liked both of YOUR comments

The sequel would fun for this and the other -

This was fun - not very realistic in today's litigious reality but hell it is your story and it would have been fun -

Lauren was made to be a very interesting young girl - relatively inexperienced but unbelievably willing if it got her Charlie - even bold to go through with it all.

The Bosses - were well nuts lol but cool too -

A fun read -a good future I hope -

DWornockDWornockalmost 10 years ago
A fun story.

Not at all plausible but just the same I rated it 5 stars.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

Your main characters may be a bit gormless but yes please let us have a sequel.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago

Predictable. Well written. It's about time that a "nice guy" got the girl, and the girl got the gold ring.

h4751h4751about 9 years ago
Interesting

What I found most interesting - alright, unusual, was the story being told by 3 people. It was a cute romance and I'd love to see where you take it next.

stev2244stev2244over 8 years ago
Yes

I do want a sequel. I really love this story. 5*, of course.

NATHANBRITTLESNATHANBRITTLESabout 8 years ago
I Want My Sequel!

Great story I gave it five stars. Am looking forward to a sequel.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Anatomical ignorance

It's a pity that you, and many other Literotica authors have to use vagina to name the female genitalia when vulva is the correct word.

MAC

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Sorry but no!

A "nice guy" would have stepped in as soon as it was clear they were targeting Lauren. A "nice guy" would have at least attempted to deck the 'natural redhead' commenting asshole and would have tried to get her to leave with him.

No way would a "nice guy" have tolerated this treatment of someone he liked. He was already leaving the company, he'd have protected her and threatened to destroy the company and then left. Not willing to be associated with complete assholes and scumbags.

PhotoMeisterPhotoMeisteralmost 6 years ago
Can't see it

Charles should have either walked out when he saw Lauren being targeted, or leave and take her with him. And I mean to his new company when he could get her an interview. I would never have worked for Gerald again. You said Gerald realized how important Charles was to the company. So why didn't he promote him a long time ago? 2*

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
A Nice Wimp & A Manipulative Bitch

Hard to really care about either of them.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Unfortunately no

To this point I've liked everything of yours I've read. Most are a little long for my taste, but ....

This one is cloying. Totally unreal, implausible characters, .... The switching between narrators way too cute.

Expect it's just me.

Grammaticus

Baddogie59Baddogie59almost 5 years ago
Great read

We need to see chapter two and three...

TSACINTSACINover 4 years ago
Very good

Needs a sequel. Develop the characters even further.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Crap

What an absolute shit story!!! Lucky I don't have to read the shit being dished out. Out of here. 1*. Pity can't go to 0!

BadHusbandMikeBadHusbandMikeover 3 years ago
anonymous is an ass

It was definitely not a normal story. That is what made it fun.

Rancher46Rancher46over 3 years ago

I loved the story, but it needs a real conclusion, a happily ever after. 5 stars

FarnorthmanFarnorthmanover 3 years ago
Smiling

I'm enjoying your stories and this one had me smiling all the way

burningloveburningloveover 2 years ago

I liked it. More please!

Burninglove

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Charles has gone from the frying pan into the fire with into the fire with that Laureen.

He should not even pick up such a manipulating bitch.

He should just walk away from her and the job.

Who would want to work for such a bunch of dishonest uncaring people.

All Tiffany or Gerald had to do was to suggest to Charles that Lauren liked him and that she was waiting for him to mask her out. They are still treating him like the village idiot with no consideration at all about the pain they are knowingly inflicting on him.

How could he ever trust her again. She deceived and manipulated him. She will do it again.

I have read most of your work on here, and I think you are a very good author with some excellent stories. Plots included. For me though, this plot is so weak it makes a mockery of the story and of your considerable talents.

I guess there is only one question to ask.

Do women really sink to such depravities to snare a man?

carvohicarvohiover 2 years agoAuthor

To the anonymous writer immediately above. "Do women really sneak to such depravities to snare a man?" Based on the observed experiences of my daughters; yes they do. Of course I've heard tell of men rsorting to murder. Wasn't that the David, Uriah, Bathsheba story?

carvohi

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