Study Buddy Pt. 01

"So I guess, then we are good. Let me know when and where and I'll be ok. I'll have my lab coat and bunsen burner in the trunk of my car," I joked about her calling it an experiment.

She laughed loudly and said, "That works."

As we paid our bill and walked to our cars, she grabbed my hand and held it. It made my heart dance. When we got to her car I hugged her and told her I would see her on Monday after class.

Saturday morning my phone rang. I answered and it was Sandy. She was very excited, I could tell. Brian had solved our location problem for the most part. His law firm had a couple of condos that they kept for clients from out of town and they weren't used that often. As a partner in the firm, he could sign out the unit for personal use if the firm didn't need them. He told Sandy that a number of partners have used them to conduct affairs, and that it was a known secret. She thought that would be good enough.

"Are you free tonight?" she asked with expectation in her voice.

"I was going to go to a lame frat party and get hammered after not finding a girl. So yes I'm free. How about we go to Inter Urban Downtown and can figure out from there. What time?"

"That's a great idea. But meet me at the condo at 6:30 and we can drive to IUD together," she said as she read the address to me.

"Great, see you at 6:30."

I spent the next few hours trying to distract myself from thinking about that night. I went for a run. I met Michelle and some girls for lunch. I actually worked on some homework. I went to Tyrell Hall to one of the practice rooms and played the piano for an hour.

I ran into Julie, a classmate of mine in music theory. She and I had gone out a couple of times and it had gone nowhere. So I decided to ask her why.

"Julie, what was it about me that didn't work for you? I liked you and I think you liked me, but it just didn't work, did it?"

"Wow, that's a pretty bold opening question. Not even hello, how ya doing. But ok I'll answer. I really liked you. I still do. You're one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. I felt very safe with you, but it was always like something was holding you back. I knew you liked me. I felt that you wanted me, but you wouldn't act on it. I guess I was just impatient for you to SHOW me how much you wanted me. I wanted you to push me a little bit. To test my boundaries. To make me decide where I wanted you to stop.

"I thought after we went to that film at the subversive film festival that something would happen. Hell I wanted to rip your clothes off halfway through the movie. But you were not turned on by that woman giving herself to those men, and we just went back to my room and talked.

"I didn't want you to take my virginity or anything, I just wanted to feel wanted in that way. Does that make sense?" she finally asked.

"Oh boy, thanks for being so open. What you said corroborates something that I am learning about myself. It does make sense and I really wish I knew how to do what you wanted, what you really deserved. I'm sorry that I couldn't do that for you. And you were right I was not turned on in that movie because I was horrified that I had invited you and that you would think I was a pervert and I worried that it would offend you and and and..."

"I know. You wanted to be safe for me. I was ready for you to be a little dangerous but still mostly safe. It's ok. We're all learning. That's why we're here, in college. No?" she was right.

"Julie, thanks again for being open. I hope it will help me learn. I guess I'll see you in class on Monday."

And with that I walked back to the dorm to get ready for my date with Sandy. I cleaned out my car. I shaved and showered and got dressed. I wore chinos and a button down shirt. I put product in my hair. I put on some Paco Rabanne cologne. I wasn't trying to impress Sandy, I just wanted to be a good date. At 6:10 I left for the condo and got there at 6:27 and waited a minute to walk up and press the buzzer. Sandy said she would be right down, so I waited downstairs. When she opened the door my mouth fell open. Her dress and her hair looked beautiful. It was simple to fit her character but so much more revealing than her usual school garb.

"Wow, you look amazing. I... Wow!" I stuttered sheepishly.

"Thank you, I feel good. You also look really nice."

I hugged her tightly for at least half a minute, enjoying the feeling of her body against mine.

"Let's go, then," I said, reaching for her hand not realizing that she put her hand on my waist. So I did likewise as we walked to the car like lovers.

I opened her door and closed it after she got in and walked around to get in the driver's side.

"This is a nice car, mind telling me what a poor college student is doing with a fancy Volvo while a lawyer's wife is driving a Chevy?" she asked with a smirk.

"When my last crappy car crapped out, my parents didn't have another hand me down to give me, so they told me to find something cheap. I found this. It's a '75 with 90,000 miles. The price was right and the mechanics checked out. So they bought it for me. They know I'll never come home unless I have a car, so mom insisted they buy me one," I shared.

"What is cheap to your parents?"

"This cost $2500. I hope it lasts until I graduate." I said, "this is my third car since I started school."

"Actually that's pretty cheap. I guess I expected it to be more."

We arrived at IUD, and parked. I got out and opened her door and we walked to the entrance. We were seated in a booth. The time in the restaurant was lovely. We learned about each other, how we grew up, our values. We also agreed that when we were together on a date that normal life topics were off limits. No school, no home life, no day to day stressors. We did start to talk about how to conduct our experiment.

"What do you want out of this, Rob?" Sandy asked rather bluntly.

"If I had to say my first goal is to be able to show a girl that I want her while still making her feel safe. My second goal is to feel confident that I can give her a pleasurable experience up to any point she is comfortable with. I don't want to focus on seduction, except in pursuit of those goals. Did that make sense?" I shared.

"You are a virgin. Are you including intercourse in any point she is comfortable with? What if she is a virgin?"

"Yes and yes. Call me a romantic, but in the back of my mind I still want the fairytale. Virgin falls for virgin and they live happily ever after. The problem is, the last girl wasn't and I didn't care. Practice is the path to success. I am starting to realize that I have to be pragmatic," I said.

"That's good to hear. I like your goals. They are simple but give a broad range for our experiment. They also show your heart and your integrity. If you learn well, I suspect any girl you connect with will be very lucky to be with you."

"I feel lucky to be with you tonight," I offered.

"Thank you for saying that. I feel the same way. Is there a nice place to go for a walk nearby?"

"Swan Lake is not too far and Riverside Park is near the condo," I suggested.

"You decide!"

"Ok let's do Swan Lake. It's more romantic," I proposed.

As we got up to leave I reached out to hold her hand. She spun around and grabbed my other hand and kissed me on the lips right at the table. It was not a long steamy kiss, but as we walked out, I was aware of the eyes of people around us. They saw. They knew. Us. As a couple. In public. It was hot.

As we got into the car, she started in on a lesson.

"I kissed you in there. I was marking my territory. Signaling publicly that we were a couple. That you were mine. But I was also telling you something important. What I am willing to do in public, I am willing to do more in private. I want to feel connected to you physically. I want you to touch me. When we walk I want to feel your arm around my shoulders or waist. I might want your hand on my butt. That's for you to figure out. But I am taking time to help you interpret my non verbal signals.

"Just as you know when a girl flirts or teases you in public, she is sending a signal. She is saying she is open to more. Touch her hand. If it doesn't pull away you have your answer. Ask her to spend time with you. A date. A private conversation. If you like her.

"If she touches your hand or arm in public she is sending a signal. She wants to hug or kiss in private. She may not even know it. Her body betrays her emotions. Understand?" she asked.

"I think so. What she is comfortable doing in public is a signal about what she might want in private." I repeated, "So I have to be sensitive and pay attention to receive the signals. And then not be afraid to respond."

"That's the basic concept. There's more nuance in there, but your idea about practice is right too."

We parked near Swan Lake. As I opened Sandy's door and she got out, I pulled her into a hug. I looked into her eyes and kissed her softly. I brushed my lips over hers. I opened my mouth slightly and applied some suction to her upper lip, pulling it out slightly. She moaned and kissed me more aggressively. I moved my hands on her back, from her shoulders I moved down to her waist, just above her panty line. I pulled her close, joining us at the hips. I moved my suction to her lower lip. She responded with another moan. It was wonderful kissing her, as I didn't have to lean over. Eventually we came up for air and had a moment.

"Whew," Sandy sighed, "that's what I'm talking about." Waving her hand in front of her face in the universal girl gesture of "that made me hot". Rather than continuing to kiss her, I put my hand around her waist and we started to walk around the lake. There were other couples at the lake, but none of them were near Sandy and me, so we felt like we had some privacy. There were swans in the lake so as we approached them we stopped to look.

I took another opportunity to pull her into a kiss. This time I did move my hand to her butt, and she did not move it away. I also used my teeth on her lips, and this got her to stick her tongue out to explore and I opened my mouth to receive it. Soon our tongues were wrestling as we explored each other's mouths. As I started to get an erection, we were joined at the hips, so I knew that she could feel it growing against her stomach. She put her hand on my waist and pulled me into her. I moaned into her mouth. Eventually, I pulled back.

"Damn, Sandy, you got my motor runnin', girl. My feelings for you are very strong, but I am worried about how fast I am going. I definitely need a lesson in slowing my ass down when I get revved up. It's one of the reasons I get scared," I was still breathing heavily.

"I felt it too. Rob, I need to confess, I want you to make love to me, I want all of you, I want you to take me, I want this pleasure for us. I also know that for your sake I need to take things slow. You are depending on me to have enough experience to keep things from getting out of control and I am glad you felt comfortable telling me things were going faster than you wanted.

"You need to learn to control the pace, without freezing up. It was like when I put my tongue in your mouth I pushed you over a hill and you had no brakes. Then I felt you get hard and I just reacted by going down the hill with you. Now I need to help you feel safe with me. OK?"

"Thing is, I do feel safe with you. I want the same things you confessed, but I don't know how fast I can get all the way there without it getting weird. Thanks for being safe for me to tell when I get scared. That is the experiment, isn't it. To help me learn to go down the hill but under control. God I love you for trying to help me," I was almost in tears.

"Come on, let's go back to the condo and have a drink. I know I need one. I imagine you wouldn't mind either."

"That sounds great actually." I reached out to hold her hand and we walked back toward the car. We were mostly quiet on the way to the condo, but she put her hand on my thigh and held it still there most of the way.

The condo was a nicely furnished unit, not as nice as Sandy's home, but better than any hotel I had ever stayed at. They had a stocked bar, and Sandy poured herself a white wine, and asked what I wanted and I asked for a scotch neat.

"Really?" She asked.

"Yeah, why, is that bad?"

"Nope, it's just the same damn thing Brian drinks is all. I suppose you prefer single malt?" She snarked.

"Duh!"

"You college boys are all the same," She said with a huge smile, pouring two fingers of Glenlivet into a rocks glass. "Where the hell did you learn to drink that? You're only 19 for goodness sake."

"Freshman year, a senior friend of Bill's sister had a huge bar in his dorm room and would invite some of us down on Fridays for the 'drink of the week'. He had a bartender's bible and would randomly open a recipe and fix us all the same drink. He also was a fan of the single malt. He introduced me. It's also a drink that I can nurse all night at a party and nobody will call me a wuss or a lightweight. I look sophisticated and manly to the guys. The girls don't seem to care," I shared.

"Golly, you certainly have put a lot of thought into that. It continues to remind me of Brian. How is it?"

"Glenlivet is one of my favorites. It is very smooth. Good to sip. But you still feel it on the way down. I feel better already. How about you?" I asked.

"Wine takes a little longer to have an impact. However I am doing better too. I think it's time to figure out how to reduce the slope of the hill we are going down. Sound right?"

"It does. Thoughts?"

"Yes," she said in teacher mode, "I loved the way you took charge at Swan Lake. It showed me that you know how to show me that you want me. It also showed me that you know how to give me pleasure by kissing me. You are a good kisser, and I enjoyed the pleasure I received.

"However, our bodies are designed a certain way. Mostly to ensure the survival of the species. Love and pleasure are emotional responses to chemical and physical stimuli. The stimuli and responses are designed to ensure baby-making. We need to interrupt those stimuli and responses by using our mind. That is part of it. Pleasure is maximized by extending the time we spend stimulating each other.

"Love is maximized by focusing on giving pleasure to your lover, and not merely experiencing your own response to pleasurable stimuli. One way we do this is by avoiding key pleasure centers or erogenous zones, or lingering on each one, maximizing stimulation. Another way we do this is by bringing your partner to the brink and backing off, but not completely. It creates pleasure seeking frustration in your partner, and each time they think they are going over the edge, they come back from the edge and the pleasure intensifies because their mind expects it. It requires a lot of self-control.

"One way to practice is to focus on one partner giving another pleasure without seeking their own. When both partners focus on their own pleasurable response, we get minimum pleasure and maximum babies, also known as animal sex. What I want to teach you is how to have self-controlled human pleasure maximizing love-making, rather than animal sex.

"Do you start to see? Your fear is caused by a lack of self-control, and a concern about not pleasing your partner, right?"

"I think that's right," I replied.

"In most men your age, there is not enough self-awareness to cause that fear. They are simply pleasure-seeking hormone driven animals, and looking for animal conquest, knock-the-bitch-up sex, which is why most girls report that their first sexual experience is not very pleasurable.

"It's also why you and your partners did not achieve orgasm in high school. You didn't have the combination of stimuli and responses to get each other over the edge, and maybe both of you were afraid of doing that with each other, because it's so personal? Am I making any sense at all?" Sandy had been talking for a while, and came up for air.

"I think so. You said a lot of words. Let me repeat back what I heard. My high school experience was hampered because of lack of skill and mutual fear. That makes a lot of sense. Girls first experience of sex is poor because guys are mostly seeking pleasure and conquest. That reflects my own thoughts as well. I don't want to be those guys.

"The part about slowing down and backing off, makes sense, but I feel like I need to experience it to understand it. I already know I don't have the skill and self-control to do that for you, but I desperately want to," I sighed, feeling like I was no closer to learning.

"OK, Rob, you just gave me a whopper of an idea and we can do it right now, and I think it will be fantastic. Are you ready to take a few risks?"

"Yes. I can't figure this out without some risk. What are you thinking?" I asked.

"I want to spend tonight focused on giving you pleasure. I want you to relax and let me do things for you. For this to work, I need you to trust me and give me control for the night. Can you do that?"

"Yes," I was thinking this might be interesting.

"Rob, you are going to end up naked, and I will not. Is that OK? Can you be vulnerable to me in that way?"

"Of course. Whatever you think is best," I said.

"OK. Finish your drink and meet me in the bedroom in five minutes."

I looked at my watch and nodded. I took a sip of my scotch. I was almost done. Five minutes later I was walking toward the bedroom, not knowing what I might find. When I opened the door, I was met by Sandy in a flowing robe, covering sexy undergarments that I did not know the name of.

All I could say was "Amazing". She smiled.

She walked up to me and kissed me. She put her hands on my head and pulled me into her. Her lips were soft and flexible, she used her teeth on my lips, gently. Then wordlessly she started to unbutton the buttons on my shirt, while maintaining her kiss. When she had opened the last button, she moved her hands to push the shirt off of my shoulders and pulled it completely off. She moved her hands to my chest, playing with my hair. She was still kissing me softly as she started to play with my nipples. Then the kiss moved from my mouth to my jaw and down to my neck. I didn't know what to do with my hands, so I asked her and she told me to leave them be still for now.

I was starting to get really turned on as she moved her kiss down my chest. My erection was starting to get painful.

"You doing ok, baby?" she asked.

"Your lips feel so soft. I am so turned on."

She moved her lips to my left nipple, and everything intensified. Stimuli. Responses. Holy Shit I understand. She moved her hands to my stomach, and used her nails to tease my abs. I was feeling pleasure. My brain was on fire. Her lips moved to my other nipple, and her hand went back to my left nipple, and she teased it with her nails. She reversed course with her mouth and went back up to my neck, and found my lips again, brushing them with her tongue. I opened my mouth slightly, and she slowly pushed inside. Rather than engaging my tongue, she simply explored my teeth and gums, like she was making a map. Then she pulled back out and brushed my lips and used her teeth to pull them gently. I shivered.

I was suddenly aware that her hands were on my belt buckle, unfastening it and then unbuttoning my pants. She pushed them slowly to the ground and told me to take them off. I kicked off my shoes, being thankful I wore shoes without laces. I stepped out of my pants and kicked them away. Sandy's hands went to my butt. she started grabbing and mauling my cheeks, while she was still kissing my lips. My cock was clearly tenting my boxers.

"Is that for me?" she asked in a sultry voice.

"Oh my yes."

"What should I do with it?"

"Whatever you want. I trust you."