Stupid Cupid

"Uh, absolutely?" he said. "It's just that, um..."

"Don't worry," Kate assured him. "No strings attached. I don't think I'm gonna be in town that much longer."

"Oh." He seemed confused. Maybe just conflicted. "I think--"

"So, to be clear, I'm not going to be your girlfriend." Kate knew this little speech by heart. "I'm not saying it's a one-time thing, but I'm not saying it isn't either." Definitely a mistake, but Kate was just in it now, wasn't she? "I just really need a dick right now, and yours?" She squirmed on the hot hard cock smothered between her thighs. "I really think it'll get the job done just fine."

"Um, okay?" he gulped as Kate scooted down to position herself between his silly pink pajama pants. Actually, they looked surprisingly cute on him. No hit to the masculinity at all, as far as Kate was concerned. "If it'll help?"

"Oh, it will," she smiled, grabbing the elastic band of his pj's and tugging them and his boxers down roughly. Kate wasn't gonna pretend like he had some huge monster cock or something -- she'd had bigger and longer, this wasn't actually some silly Smuterotica story after all, this was real life -- but he didn't exactly have anything to be ashamed of either. She certainly wasn't disappointed. His width was a pleasant surprise. Especially on a guy so skinny. "It really, really will." His thick, meaty manhood was throbbing like crazy, and she'd barely even touched it. There was this dollop of pre-cum leaking out of his spongy cockhead.

"D-don't--" he grunted as Kate leaned forward to lick that dewy pearl off, but it was too late. He erupted the second her tongue touched the slit of his dick, blasting her in the mouth before she grabbed his cock.

"Dammit," she swore when the second spurt splat hit her square in the chest, right on the N' in "Guns N' Roses," before pointing his gushing prick back. She felt five solid pulses between her fingers, but since it was shooting everywhere, it took her a beat to realize most of it had been directed at him.

His shirt had a much bigger mess than hers. And there was a little cum on his face.

"Oh, shit, I'm so fucking sorry," she blurted.

"My fault," he groaned. "I tried to tell you--"

"I like to think I had a little something to do with it," Kate smiled, pulling her shirt up to lick off that dab of baby batter before it could stain. She'd been reluctant to actually wash the thing, lest it lose the Musk of Thunder. "I'm guessing it's been awhile?"

"S-something like that," he panted.

Kate realized what this must have looked like to him. "For me, too," she said. It didn't feel like a lie, despite what had happened with Yelena, what was that, an hour ago? Kate hadn't handled a real live penis in something like six months. "We can slow down, if you need to. I'm not in that much of a rush." Now that was a bit of a lie. Kate still wanted something inside her sooner rather than later, but she'd clearly pushed things too fast. The Boy Two Doors might be legal, but he was clearly still a bit of a kid. How many times could he have possibly had sex at this point?

Kate decided right then that she had to stop focusing so much on herself and make this special for him, too. It was the only decent thing to do. It was Valentine's Day, after all. And that certainly didn't mean she wouldn't have fun. Hell, maybe the longer it took, so much the better.

"Could, uh, could we maybe not do this right here?" he asked her.

Yeah. The bed seemed like a better idea all of a sudden. Unless... "You don't mean the weird hammock, right?"

"No," he chuckled. "Definitely not." He scooped her up with an ease that surprised her. His fingertips on the skin of her bare legs were electric. Even on her back through her shirt. Kate was just tingling. Her every nerve was on fucking fire. Now that was the pot. She kissed his face the whole time, smearing some cum on his nose that she quickly smooched away as he carried her across his tiny apartment as if it was nothing. When, and when he tossed her onto his bed, he tossed her so far she bumped herself on the headboard.

"Ow," she hissed. "Fuck." And then, once more, she said, "Ow."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," he fumbled. It wasn't that bad really, and he was just so apologetic about it. It was honestly like he didn't know his own strength right now. That was when she first started to suspect he might not have done this part before.

"It's okay if you're a little nervous," she told him, sitting up. "Just take a breath, okay?"

"Okay," he sighed. It was the shakiest breath Kate had heard in her whole life, and it didn't seem to help. He clearly needed further instruction.

"Why don't we just start by taking off the shirt?" she suggested.

"Good idea," he nodded, pulling that silly little T-shirt over his head.

When he took it off, she was much less surprised by his strength. "Yowza." Kate had never yowza'd in her life, but she couldn't help it. The Boy Two Doors Down was fine. "Yowza," she said again, amazed by the rippling sinew of his ridiculously taut torso. Kate had seen some muscular male figures in her day, but they tended to look like they'd been sculpted in clay. And she should know. Her mom had loved dragging her to every Alicia Masters gallery opening in New York when that was a thing they might do together. The Boy Two Doors Down looked like he'd been chiseled from marble. "I had actually meant starting with my shirt, but, uh, honestly, I think you made the right choice."

"Okay," he chuckled.

He was down to just his socks, which he didn't seem concerned about at all. Kate didn't mind. "So, should I...?" Her hands were just at the bottom of her shirt when he was diving toward her. He buried his face in her chest, blindly kissing at her chest through her sweatshirt. While delighted by the strange friction on her nipples, she was briefly worried he was going to slobber all over her second favorite article of clothing, when he suddenly stopped, sniffing briefly before pulling back with this odd look on his face.

"What is it?" Kate asked.

"This is gonna sound crazy, but this shirt smells like this guy I used to know," he told her.

"Well," she said, grabbing the hem and lifting it up, "somebody got a little of their spunk on it."

"That's not it," he insisted, helping her raise it over her head. "There was this crazy friendly guy with no sense of personal space who just kept hugging me after this admittedly awesome thing that we did, but he smelled fantastic. It smells just like him."

"I highly doubt we travel in the same circles," she assured him, chucking the topic of discussion to the side and shaking out those long dark locks.

"It'd be next to impossible," he agreed, diving back in. His hands and lips felt even better on her naked breasts. Kate knew she wasn't exactly top-heavy, but she felt like they'd been filling out in the last year, and her nipples tended to stand-out -- often literally -- so her modest rack seemed to get plenty of attention. Not so much from Yelena, but the Boy Two Doors Down seemed enthralled.

"That's right," Kate cooed. He was at just that right balance between a little too gently and outright slathering. "Kiss my tiny titties."

As he nursed on her nipples, one of his hands dropped to rub her bare thigh. First just on the outside until she parted her legs and he traced his way toward her shorts. Kate was so wet, and if he went much further, he'd definitely be able to tell.

Kate suddenly wasn't ready for that.

"Let's try this again," she said, pushing him onto his back. She kissed her way along those impossible abs of his. She counted as she pecked each piece of his six-pack and came up with eight. Was that even a thing? Was she about to fuck an Inhuman? Just how stoned was she?

She spat on his dick before kissing the tip. His erection somehow hadn't flagged despite the Old Faithful rendition, but she was trying to give him plenty of time. The fact that he was so hard left her with the impression that she could get him off one more time before the main event, truly taking the edge off. That's how it'd been with Eli that summer in Baltimore. Despite that ridiculously uncomfortable hammock.

"Do-- Do we need a safeword or something?" he asked.

Kate almost laughed. "'Please don't do that' has always worked for me with the guys I liked in the past," she informed him.

"Right," he chuckled. "Sorry, this is all just so..." He trailed off. He didn't know his own strength, and he couldn't find the words.

The Boy Two Doors Down was just so fucking cute.

"It's okay," she smiled. Her tongue tickled the sensitive underside of his cockhead. Kate dipped a finger through her shorts to her pussy. She couldn't believe how wet she already was. "But if you're worried about a safeword, now I'm just wondering what kind of wicked, wicked things you have in mind, you naughty boy."

That left him speechless. It was either that or the way she was slaving her tongue toward the back of beyond of his scrotum.

He just moaned and panted as she licked back and forth for a bit, then blazed a slow but steady sideways trail along his taint toward his rosebud and he jerked.

"Please don't do that!" he grunted.

"See?" she said before taking one of his swollen testes between her plump, luscious lips. She smacked with a pop. "That works just fine."

Honestly, a rimjob was probably pretty advanced, and it wasn't something Kate had exactly been looking forward to. She'd made that mistake because she was trying to move things along, and she felt like she had been at this staggering work of heartbreaking fellatio for some time now, and the kid still hadn't popped!

And Kate had been bringing her Olympic-level A-game here. This blowjob would go down in the annals of Avengers history as the Second Labor of Hawkeye.

She'd been jacking him pretty vigorously during the aborted anal excursion, but nothing. She'd ditched his balls for his pole, peppering it with kisses before lavishing it with her tongue -- including a protracted trip into his dick slit with the tip. Then Kate Bishop engaged in what would become the deepest deepthroat of her sexual adventures.

She gagged on him and coughed, making gurgling sounds that were mostly for show because she actually had a pretty long neck, and got nothing.

When she had started this blowjob ten thousand years ago, he'd mostly either had his head tossed back, or his eyes were closed and he had this goofy little grin, but he'd been keeping an eye on her since invoking their own not-so-secret password, probably to make sure she didn't push the envelope again. So she had to imagine he was staring at a mop of dark chestnut hair draped over his torso like a towel while her head bobbed up and down on that dick. Maybe his eyes even lingered down the curve of her back to that firm juicy booty -- Kate knew what gifts she had and which she didn't.

How was that not getting him off? Had she been off the mark?

Kate had come to assume that the Boy Two Doors wasn't too experienced, so she'd intended to get him off one more time before moving on to the main event to give him his best shot at getting her to cum on his cock. But if she'd known he'd show this kind of near Inhuman stamina, she wouldn't have bothered. Kate had spent some considerable time with this particular penis. She'd come to know it intimately. She was fairly certain at this point that if she'd just climbed on top of him fifty years ago, when she'd started blowing him, she'd have creamed this magnificent pole three times by now.

It was a hypothesis she was planning to test eventually. But she still wanted him to cum first. She rubbed his fat cock, against her throat. His hot, throbbing and leaking cock.

"Enough is enough, dude," she said, pulling off with a gasp. "What do I have to do to get you to cum?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you need me to do? What do you want to do to me? Do you want me to swallow your cum? I don't usually do that before a first date, but these are unprecedented times. I had a little taste before, and while I didn't love it, I've had worse. Do you want to fuck my face? Because while I think it's demeaning, I understand it's more about you than me, and I'm not going to judge... In fact, if it's your thing and you want, I will wrap my hair around your cock while I stroke it, even though I really don't want your splooge in my hair." He groaned as she licked a circle over the head of his cock. "Or I can start talking dirty," she suggested before engulfing his manhood once more.

"Th-that wasn't you talking dirty?!?"

"Yufflokthuh?" It was all she could manage sucking his dick, but he seemed to get it. Kate kissed the side of his dick and he shuddered as she continued stroking him. "Are you gonna cum for me?"

"I didn't know you wanted me to," he told her. "I--I felt bad for going off before..."

"What's it gonna take?" Kate frowned in concentration. Her fingers beat a staccato along his length that elicited a groan.

"R-Rub it on your tits," the Boy Two Doors Down grunted.

"I should have guessed," Kate smiled, sliding up between his legs so his gooey tip glanced her stiff nipple, leaving this sticky strand as his length settled between her modest breasts.

"Th-there's something I haven't told you..." he practically crooned. He was panting now.

"What's..." she licked him, "that?" Her breath was hot on his cock. Kate had really wanted to know. So, of course, that's when he finally started cumming.

She'd planned to swallow, she really had, even though that wasn't a thing she usually did, but she'd just been that Chatty Kathy, hadn't she? It was a squirt under her chin, then across her eyes and two along her lips before she wrestled him back into her mouth. Kate had never been some cum-guzzling slut before, but she'd never kissed a girl until tonight either. Maybe it was time to try some new things. Kate had kissed that dab of his spunk off his nose, and while it hadn't exactly been the creamy filling of a frozen Hostess cupcake, she got this little thrill when she swallowed.

"Fuuuuh..." he groaned when he was done. "Nuh-never met anyone who talked as much as me."

Kate frowned at him.

"That's a compliment?" he said. The question mark was back.

"Can I borrow this?" she asked, grabbing his T-shirt.

"Consider it yours."

It was funny. He'd been stripped to his socks, but Kate was still wearing her shorts. It wasn't funny "ha ha", more like funny "so not the point".

"I'm going to take these off now," she told him after she'd wiped off her face with the back of his shirt. She leaned onto her back to work off that last article of clothing.

"And your panties?"

"I'm not wearing any panties," she smiled.

"Hooooly shit."

"Are you still nervous?" she asked him. He nodded. "Don't be." Kate took his hand and pulled it to her pussy. "I'm so wet for you."

He pushed his middle and ring fingers into her and wiggled them just like she wanted. "Fuck, that's so tight," he said. "Am I gonna fit or...?"

"Damn right you will," Kate insisted. "Don't screw me on this. I came here for one reason."

"What reason was that?" he asked with this smug smirk that would have probably pissed Kate off if he wasn't fingering her just then. He kissed at her tits again, straggling between her pert nipples before making his way down.

His mouth met his fingers and he started eating her out. He wasn't bad, but Kate couldn't help but compare him to her last sexual partner, and that was exactly what she didn't want to be doing right now. Yelena had gone down on her like she needed it, tongue-fucking her and slurping at Kate's quiver like a little Russian demon. The Boy Two Doors Down was still just so damn gentle. It wasn't inexperience. He'd clearly done this much before. Probably with that girlfriend he'd mentioned. His nose kept brushing her clit as he licked and worked his fingers into her wet, spongy insides. She knew she could easily cum from that, but that wasn't what she wanted right now. Kate couldn't say that she hated it, but it wasn't why she'd wanted to knock on his door...

Kate had come to him for his cock.

"Could you do me a favor?" she pleaded, tapping him on the head.

"Uh, sure?" he said, lifting his wet face from her muff.

"Would you please just fuck me?"

"Uh..."

That was it. The reason she'd lingered outside of his door. The favor she's wanted. "I really just want you to fuck me," Kate said. "Please tell me you've got a condom."

She didn't have any back at her place. The medicine cabinet in the safe-house bathroom had been quite well-stocked. Bandages of every size and shape for every occasion. Bottles of powerful painkillers just in case. There was even a defibrillator under the sink. But there weren't any condoms. Kate only noticed that because the one thing that was still in the trash when she'd moved in was an empty box of Trojans.

The place still got some mail. What had Agent Fitzsimmons of S.H.I.E.L.D. gotten up to in that place?

If Kate had known the plan was "Bang the Boy Two Doors Down in Some Desperate Grab at Sexual Sanity," she probably would have risked the snow to run down to the bodega.

Turned out it wasn't an issue.

"I have, like, a bunch," he told her. The look on her face must have betrayed her surprise, because he leapt to explain. "The woman who raised me was pretty persistent about safe sex." He dug through the draw of his nightstand. "Shoved a box of 'em at me every time she went to Duane Reade, then there'd be another box on top of my laundry every week." He had a little square of foil in his hands before she knew it.

"We don't have to talk about it," Kate told him as he ripped it open.

"Good, because, I mean, it got weird sometimes," he said, rolling the rubber over his member. "She made me practice with a cucumber and everything..."

"Seriously," Kate insisted. "We don't have to talk about it." She'd said that because in her experience, mom-talk tended to flag an erection. But the Boy Two Doors Down was harder than ever. Was that weird? Better not to think about it. Unless...

Kate glanced over at the nightstand where he'd stashed his condoms. There was a picture of this beautiful woman in her late forties. He'd never called her his mother...

"So..." she said, pushing him onto his back once he was sheathed. "You used to roll on condoms with your foster mommy?"

"Whuh-what are you talking about?" he asked as Kate sat up to straddle him.

"The woman who raised you," she said, nodding toward the photo. "Is that her?"

"Yuh-yeah," he groaned. Kate was grinding her cunt on his cock. "B-but she was my aunt..."

"Really?" she smiled, leaning in to kiss his freshly shaved chin. "She was so pretty..."

"She was gorgeous," he choked.

"Was she related to you by blood?" she asked him then. "Or by marriage?"

"Whuh-what does that matter?"

"Because if it's not by blood it wouldn't even be that weird," Kate whispered into his ear. "It would even mean it was okay if you were a little hot for her." She was just lying on top of him now, wiggling her wet pussy over the base of Boy Two Doors Down's dick. "Did you get a little hard when she was showing you how to put rubbers on those cucumbers? Did you two do that in the kitchen, or did you do it in one of your bedrooms? Which one was it?"

"No-no---" he groaned, pushing her up from him effortlessly by her tits. "She was like my mother."

"But she wasn't your mommy, was she?" Kate gasped, shifting herself onto her knees so she was still rubbing her wetness on his peter. "So it's okay with me if you think about her while we do this..."

"Why would I think about her while we...?" He was squeezing her breasts now.

"I mean, I'm looking at this picture of her..."

"Ugh," he groaned as she spat down between her tits onto the tip of his cock. It was, of course, a perfect bullseye into his dickhole, with enough volume to drip down his sensitive crown in three perfect lines.