All Comments on 'Sudden Clarity'

Is Marc a man or a woman? I've never known a woman to say she was going to "jack off." Is this in the right category?

everything about this says hetero not lesbian,the name of the bartender to "jacking"off not jilling like every other woman i have heard say.

Redlion75, "jack off" is a semi-derogatory term in my community, suggesting that a girl has you so hyped up that you need to "take the edge off" like a teenaged boy before you can concentrate and be useful in non-sexual pursuits. And her legal name is probably Marcella or something similar.

I found the storyline hot and entirely believable. If I were single and visiting SF, that's exactly who I'd pick. Wifebeater, spiked hair, short nails, so no question of is she or isn't she. As the bartender, she'll have a place nearby, as much free alcohol as I want, and the relative safety of people knowing her and seeing me leave with her.

That being said, the story could use another editing round for a couple errors and some streamlining.

l_f, terrifically ambiguous writing style. You cleverly develop the character of Marc to the point of confusing your readers.

I am so jealous. Generally, I get accused of being a woman author because several of my female characters develop the inner strength to fight back against abusive treatment by the men in their lives.

As a sadistic bastard I really get off on tormenting my readers. They're demanding a happy ending? Okay, fine! I just gotta kill off at least one of my characters.

There yah go, my version of a happy ending. Happy, Happy Happy! Goddamnit! Or Else!

I enjoyed how you wrote this. The pace was quick and yet not too quick. A terrific balance.

Hi all!

The character Marc is meant to be more than a little bit androgynous. I myself identify as female, but I present as androgynous. Depending on what I'm wearing, many people assume I'm male. That's how I wanted Marc to be. I don't think we see enough gender fluidity in erotica.

Amal, whom we meet briefly at the bar, is gender neutral. This is something else that I would like to explore more in my writing, and something I would love to see gain more visibility.

As for the question on the usage of the phrase "jacking off," that's what I've always used as slang for masturbation, regardless of gender. I do know a few other women who use the same phrase, and many who use different ones (I've heard "smacking Jerry Garcia on the nose"). I think that's merely an issue of unfamiliarity.

LesbianChickLit, if you feel like pointing out any errors you see, I would appreciate it! I can always use constructive criticism.

Thanks!

-little_foot