by silverisgold
This has all the making of the beginning of a great chain story. Excellent writing, character development, and build up to the sex. You should seriously consider chapter two.
I absolutely love this story did not excite me but it was a nice story. I had a mature lady friend to helped me learn how to please a woman I’ve pleased many with my oral capabilities. I love orally eating pussy.
This was a great story. No bullshit, no bad issues, just fun and heartwarming. I would seriously love to read more. Maybe Kelly falls for Alex? :) Maybe the IUD doesn't work?? So many ways this could work out to be a great series... You are a gifted writer.
More, please! It's a very well written story and has a lot of room for more chapters.
Wonderfully written and very yummy to boot. I'd say you have a winner here and I do hope you'll continue this story. Thank you!
I think every guy wishes he had a Kelly in his life. . .
I'd love to read more about Alex' Summer of Sexual Education, and also how his relationship with Mary Sue develops. . .
Great job! You’re a talented storyteller.
I am one of Lit. Volunteer Editors, and I have some suggestions for you about how you can improve your grammar, punctuation, etc. if you are interested. Let me know by email. crochlen@yahoo.com
Regards
Nice premise.
But no nearly enough dialog about how what was being done to one or the other felt.
And rushed. Really rushed.
Needed much more playing/touching/feeling before pussy was eaten or cock was in a mouth.
Needed involvement of breasts and nipples.
Seemed in a rush to get to orgasms.
Three stars.