All Comments on 'Summer Heat'

You write well and had a good storyline going. However, the plot quickly turned implausible and I gave up on it. What started off nicely was far too short and the action got going way too soon for my tastes.

I hope you'll return to it and develop it into a great read. It certainly has potential and you're much too good to waste on one-pagers like this. Good luck.

Four stars because it was a good short story, however I take two stars back because he could not have his cock half way in without breaking the hymen, but you wrote he slid the rest of the way in tearing the hymen, I assume by your name your a woman and should know where the hymen is located, if not check it on the web before you write another first time story.

If this story is to continue with more sexual adventures for Eric and Grub, consider giving Eric a dusting of chest hair for that gorgeous and muscular chest. Eric seems a mature young man, well grown up and developed in other ways...why not chest hair too? Lots of 18 year old men have begun to develop the chest hair that will distinguish them as real men as they enter their 20s and 30s. Grub could trace her fingers through the hair and see how he has matured in the past year.

I'll send you my reply.

You have talent so don't let my comments bother you, I'm just picky when it comes to virgins being deflowered.

Very first story I've ever written. Thanks for the feedback!

As most amateurs I am learning how to take criticism. I appreciate that people have opinions and will take all of them into consideration.

There will be more from me!

It's nice to read a short tale of a virgin lucky enough to give up her virginity exactly as she had hoped it would happen. I'm looking forward to more stories from you. I'm sure they will be very pleasing to many readers.

You had a really great start ... Lifelong buddies, nice setting, cute and believable banter. I loved that!

Then suddenly they starting humping like old pros. Where's the tension, the desire, the awkward but endearing fumbling around?

For these young people, sparks would fly just from a touch, then the first kiss, a few stolen moments of groping, the sweet discovery of skin on skin. THEN they can bangbangbang their hearts out.

Please, will you try this one again? You have a lot of promise.

Please oh please?