All Comments on 'Summer of Love Pt. 01'

by ScottNails

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  • 10 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

I have high hopes for this one so yo better not screw up, just make them screw each other :)

5*

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Really bad grammar

This was a good start to what can be a really good story. But it needs editing vey badly. There were serious pronoun issues, and you don't seem to know the difference between the possessive "your" and the contraction "you're."

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Sexy pair

Give Ben some chest hair for that muscular chest…something for Kat to trace her fingers through! Hope he has nice pubes and a healthy treasure trail. Mmmmm. So sexy! Let them love freely!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

Second "sentence": "As I drove off after a late night working."

I am not a grammar Nazi, but as I encountered more errors, I gave up. Writing is not simply transcribing an oral story. Writing is a craft and it includes some technical requirements, such as good grammar, syntax, spelling, etc. Work on the technical details and use an editor.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
zzzzzzzz

Nothing new here. How about a bit of imagination.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Summer Love....

Good story...needs editing...keep the story going and get help .

horny2doithorny2doitalmost 8 years ago

I think this story is super HOT and has so much potential ........ Ben's sister sure has changed since beginning college and with her physical changes; it's going to be a hot summer for sure. She seems to have a plan and many ideas to try. Their 1st meeting was her first test and sure hope when Mom and Dad are away they will do more !! I don't think Kat will take No for answer and Ben seems to not have much resistance at all. Cannot wait for the next chapter and beyond. Thanks !!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

A bit confused as to why a woman with a b cup would supposedly get implants to only increase to a c cup. The difference isnt that big. A d cup makes sense. Its little things like that you need to clean up as to why she got implants. Why even mention it? Just say her chest size grew.

LaGazzaLadraLaGazzaLadraalmost 8 years ago

I gave up, the spelling/grammar issues ruined for me. Get an editor. I can't say whether the story is good or not, because I never made it that far.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago

Another question is how she had saved extra money in college that was enough to pay for breast surgery.

Anonymous
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