Summer Rain Pt. 01

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Young man has his first time by an older woman.
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A Lost Summer Virginity part 1

This is my first story. I have many to tell, but I'm not a writer per say. I hope y'all enjoy my attempts. I would appreciate positive criticism, but keep in mind, I hated English and Literature growing up. It was usually my worse grade in High School. I've always loved to read, but never liked to write. (Dangling participles, grammar, phrasing, etc...) not my thing. But I love reading all of your stories, so I thought, I do have a few stories I can tell from my past and from my fantasies...so... why not. Here we go!! Most of this story is based on what happened the summer I graduated. There may be some exaggeration, but I'm trying to write it like I remember.

We start this story in my small town in Texas, taking me back to the lazy, humid, summer day around the beginning of July, I think, 1980. It's overcast with rain clouds, causing the humidity to rise ridiculously high, making the sweat on my young 18-year-old body bead up on my skin like dew drops in the morning. (I've never been one to sweat, but it was a ridiculous, hot day)

The past few days have hit the century mark on the temperature gauge, so the clouds moving in overhead, are a welcoming site, bringing the temperature down, but still, very sticky outside. I'm wearing a tee shirt and my 501 jeans to work today, but have a pair of shorts in my backpack, in case it gets hotter later.

My car is still on the fritz, waiting on a part from the car-parts place, so, I'm on my motorcycle today. Not the day I want to be on it, but I have to get to work, so it doesn't matter. Maybe I can beat the rain, it's only a 6 or so mile trip into town, at least, I hope I can beat it, but it's not like I haven't ridden my bike in the rain, before. I pull out of the drive way and head down the street, great, rain drops!!

(I'm changing the format from my perspective, to how you might put yourself into the story, it's easier for me to tell and it might have been your story too, and if not, hey, you can fantasize, by putting yourself in the story in either role. Enjoy)

You've just turned 18 a few days earlier. It was a nice birthday celebration with your family and friends, turning old enough, at that time in Texas, to partake in alcohol consumption. It was a fun time, including the alone time spent with your soon to be college friend Cindy, but that's a different story. There is some regret from the over-indulgence from that evening.

It's been a few days, the hang-over is finally out of your system, so, you are feeling pretty much back to your normal self, having spent the past few days at the grocery store a little dazed, confused, and tormented by your grocery manager for being a little out of it, but still working diligently enough to keep your work ethic intact.

He has asked you to finish up your day, today, by dropping off a delivery on your way home. You readily agree, glad for the day to be almost over, ask for the order, so you can pull the items on the list, bag it, and head out. You've made more deliveries over the past few years, to the community, working at the grocery store, than you can remember.

You look at the name on the order, Ms. Hayden, you recognize it, it's the lady who teaches the 2nd grade class at the school over in the neighboring school district's grade school. Ms. Hayden is a local, having grown up here, graduated from the same high school as you, finished college and moved back to teach here locally. She might have had some cousins the same age as you, you think, but she is at least or probably a decade older than you, maybe older.

You've delivered groceries to her house before, and she always tipped pretty good, always smiling at you when she did. You have a quick thought about wishing she was your 2nd grade teacher, as she's not bad on the eyes either, a pretty red head with a very nice body to daydream about. You're not sure about her age, but who cares, she's pretty enough.

As you pack the groceries onto your bike, before heading out, you haven't forgotten that it's been raining, on and off, for most of the day. It's just before sunset, the temperature has drastically fallen because of the cloud coverage and rain, so you find an oversize plastic garbage bag, cut a hole in the bottom & sides, a makeshift poncho to keep you dry and a bit warmer from the rain. Hey, you look ridiculous, but at least you won't be soaked by the time you get home. It will keep the chill off a little.

You tell your manager goodbye, and a couple of your fellow employees, wave at you as you head out the door. You store the groceries on the bike, covering them with a couple of plastic bags, hoping to keep them as dry as you can. You pull your bike out into the rain, thinking about getting this done as quickly as possible and head home.

You make your way to Ms. Hayden's house. The rain is coming down pretty hard for a few minutes as you maneuver the bike out of town and onto the main highway. You come up on the turn to Ms. Hayden's house. The house is off the main highway, about a quarter mile of a winding driveway, through the trees. You pull into the driveway and make your way, through the darkness. As you near the house, you see a small porch light on, but it's the only light on in the house.

The rest of the house is dark, except for a small white glow coming from a window on the left of the doorway, must be a TV on. The rain hasn't stopped, it continues, as you stop, park your bike as close to the house as you can. The makeshift rain poncho was a good idea, but it didn't work out all that well, you are completely soaked. The wet clothes, the wind from the bike ride, the temperature drop, since the sun went down, has you feeling the chill of the evening and as you get off the bike, your legs are shaking, your teeth are chattering, you are feeling the chill of the evening bear down on you.

You take off the makeshift poncho, as it is no help, you think to yourself, that hopefully, you'll be home in a few minutes, get the wet clothes off and warm up. You grab the bags on the bike, crap! They are soaked and tearing. You gather them up in your arms the best you can to keep them together. You run towards the porch, trying to get out of the rain as fast as possible.

As you head to the porch, you see the inside hall light to the front door come on. It lights up the small window at the top of the door. You take a couple of big steps toward the door, stop, ring the doorbell, expecting that the person turning the light on will answer the door. The front door opens, a shadow outline of a person comes into view, as the overhead hall light pours past them, your eyes adjust, you can just make out a female form, you think, Ms. Hayden.

She is standing there in what looks like a small silk house robe, you can't see clearly, as she is standing behind the screen door, but as your eyes adjust more to the light, you can see that the silk robe she is wearing, is partially open, revealing most of her upper chest area, with a couple of nice round globes almost completely visible. The nipples just peeking past the material of the robe, are extended, the size of a small thimble. The large round breast, gorgeous, are looming just in your reach, you can't seem to stop staring at them and the nipples. So nice! Your mind flashes!!

(You are taking the left breast in your mouth, sucking on it, so tenderly. It tastes so good, the skin is so soft, the nipple hardens in your mouth, you can feel the small goose bumps around the areola. Hmmmmm!! You feel a twitch in your pants below.)

"Hmm, hmmm!!" You hear a throat being cleared in front of you, immediately, your mind flies back to reality, back to the front door, looking up at Ms. Hayden in front of you, you immediately blush. You half expect her to cover herself or pull the robe top back together, she does not. Your eyes lock on each other, for a split second, connection!! You immediately look down, from your embarrassment, you just know she has read your thoughts.

You hear the squeak of the screen door, as it starts to open. Your eyes look back up at her pushing the door open, holding her arm out, she is pointing inside, in the way that one would give directions, asking you to put the bags on the kitchen counter. Her voice is soft, a bit slower than you remember, almost slurring her words. A breeze swirls by, you smell her, she smells good, like flowers, but there is also another scent in the air, you remember that smell from your birthday, alcohol.

She has the smell of alcohol on her breath, you see the glass of wine in her hand, knowing now, why you are smelling alcohol. She quietly asks, as she gazes directly at your eyes, if you're going to continue to stare or if you would like to put the bags down. She also asks if this is your last stop before going home. You tell her it is, but wonder, why would she ask that. You finally come back to your senses a bit, and stop staring, moving forward towards the door with the wet grocery sacks. As you walk thru the door, into the hall, you can feel one of the bags start to give way on the bottom of the bag. Damn wet bags!!

You try to pull it into your body, hold the bag together, but it splits wide open, everything is tumbling out towards the floor, as you try to catch it, your wet shoes on the smooth surfaced floor, go right out from under you. You fall to the floor with the bag, its' contents scattering across the hall floor. You hear a small intake of a breath, a small gasp behind you. Everything scatters across the hall floor, nothing breakable you hope, as you don't hear any glass breaking. You think to yourself, great, you're really making a good impression now. There goes your tip!!

The next thing you realize, Ms. Hayden is right behind you. Her one hand is on the side of your head, the other grabs your shoulder, as you look back, upwards to where she is, you are, again, staring right into her heavenly globes. This time there is nothing hidden as the whole top portion of her robe, droops off her shoulders, falling completely open. You are, again, staring, lost in those beautiful round objects of desire. Your mind flashes again!

(You are taking the right breast in your mouth this time, licking a circle around the nipple. Again, you can feel the goosebumps of the areola on your lips, and the soft, delicious taste of her skin. Hmmmmm!! Again, with the stirring sensation in your groin.)

Laughter interrupts your thoughts, as you come back to where you are, for the second time, in so few seconds of real time. Ms. Hayden is sitting down, a little across from you, against the opposite wall, laughing out loud. It is very spirited, a genuine laugh. Her head back laughing, but her hand is still on your arm as she sits, she is now almost completely in front of you, to your left side mostly. She is sitting at an angle, that now, has the lower portion of her robe falling back over her thighs as her legs are now open in front of you, with her knees up and her feet flat on the floor, there is no doubt, she is completely naked under the robe.

Her legs are just enough apart to see her small strip of soft red pubic hair, but you can only see half of her lower lips, as the left thigh is partially covering the rest. Her legs drop forward as she comes up on her knees towards you, her laughter continues, but is more of a snicker now. Again, you lose yourself in your thoughts.

(You are slowing sliding your tongue up her leg, as your nose pushes past her spread legs, you take in her fragrance. It is a delicious feeling in your nose, as your tongue reaches out to taste.) HUH?!

Laughter again, you are brought back again, to the moment and you realize that she doesn't know that you got a peek, and you chuckle under your breath, "yes!!"

As you are still getting the last image clear of your brain, you squat on your haunches leaning forward, you are also trying to pick up some of the items scattered across the floor. Ms. Hayden is now on her hands and knees, just in front of you to your left, wine glass next to the wall, she makes a motion to come towards you, but her hand slips on the moisture on the floor, she falls, face forward, right into your crotch. You drop everything to one side, try to help her, as she struggles with her balance.

Her face is in your lap, she is laughing again, her mouth open, you can feel her face pushing down on your jeans, your zipper, into your almost complete hardon in your pants. Your mind plays tricks on you now. Did she lick you? Is she moving her mouth around your jeans on purpose? Your eyes start to close as your imagination gets the better of you. You feel the twitch again, knowing, that she would have had to had felt it too with her face. She regains her arms underneath herself, pushing herself up, off your crotch, but looking up at you, with a knowing look.

At least, you think, she is. Your mind is going all over the place with thoughts about what is going on. Is this really happening?

Ms. Hayden is giggling, as she sits back again, against the wall to your left. She still hasn't made an effort to cover up, her robe is hanging freely down her arms, off her shoulders, her breast spilling out in front. You can't help but look, then smile. It's not a creepy smile, you hope, it's just an understanding smile. You are trying to let her know that everything is okay.

"internal thought": Well, of course it's okay with you, you are looking at BOOBIES!! You ask yourself, what would happen, if you reached over, took her breasts into your hands, one in each hand, squeezed them, softly, maybe ran your thumbs up, over each of the nipples, across the areolas, watching them stiffen with your touch.

You reach over, grab Ms. Hayden by the arm, work your way up into a standing position directly over her. You put your hand down for her to grab onto, she does, you pull her upwards. Ms. Hayden pulls herself right up into you. She puts her arms around your waist, as she steadies herself, her breasts move into your chest. You can feel the fullness of each one, even thru the tee shirt, she is warm, so warm, you think. You are not sure what to do, you freeze. Your faces are inches apart. She is smiling at you, again, you think, is she moving her lips towards you?

If you stay right here, will her lips drift onto yours, kissing you, pushing her tongue into your mouth forcefully, letting you taste her? Will she taste of alcohol, will she move her tongue around your mouth, moving over your teeth, in between your lips, your gums? Again, your eyes start to close as you are imaging this happening.

She giggles, startles you back, again, as you shift your weight, forward, towards the kitchen doorway, pulling her with you. She is giggling again, as she follows your steps to the kitchen, to the island with the tall bar chairs, you pull her around, towards the chair that is there, helping her ease herself into the chair. As you do, you pull her robe up her arm, putting it back in its proper place, covering her up, but this has allowed you to feel up her arm, and around her shoulders, even softly pulling the robe closed, has brushed your hands across her breasts, slightly, again, the twinge down below.

You excuse yourself, telling her you'll be right back with her groceries, to just stay there. She giggles again, her smile is devilish. Her medium length, red hair is falling down, across her shoulders. You stop, stare at her again then disappear back into the hallway.

You retrieve the spilled groceries, a bit at a time, back and forth, from the kitchen to the hallway, until you have gathered everything back into the kitchen. Ms. Hayden has been giggly, but mostly quiet, and except for spinning a little back and forth in the kitchen chair, she hasn't moved from where you left her.

As you put the last of the groceries down on the counter, Ms. Hayden, asks if that's everything. You inform her it is, and tell ask her, if there's anything else you can do for her, although when you try to speak, it comes out more like a rattle, as you are shivering, standing there in front of her.

She asks if you are okay, and you try to sound a little more manly, but, without success, as you tell her you'll be fine. She looks you over, realizing that you are thoroughly soaked, thru & thru, dripping wet, standing in her kitchen, looking like a wet puppy.

All of a sudden, her demeanor, changed. She slides forward in the chair and she demands that you take your shoes off, now!! She doesn't want water all over her kitchen floor. You, shake your head for a moment, like what?? Again, she demands you take off your shoes. You hear her, this time, respond by lifting your feet, one at a time removing your shoes. "Socks too!", she demands again, getting off the chair and ducking into her utility room in one swift staggering move, coming out with a big beach towel.

She puts it on the counter, turns back to you, grabs your tee shirt by the bottom seam, lifting it up, over your head, "Off with these wet clothes!" It's like she is possessed, she unbuttons your jeans, quickly pulling them down, with your boxers in tow as well. She goes down to her knees, "Let's get these off of you, too!!", pulling your pants legs off, your feet, one at a time, leaving you standing there, butt naked, shaking like a leaf on a tree, in a summer storm. The irony, you think, is, you've been thinking about seeing her naked since you got here, now, you're standing naked in front of her.

Much to your great surprise, as she stands back up to face you, her robe is drooping, again, coming off her shoulders down her arm, again, only this time, she makes no effort to stop it from falling off her arms. Her big green eyes find your baby blues, you are staring back, but, with your peripheral vision, you are watching the robe, too. She is half naked, as the belt, too, has now come loose, falling to both sides, your eyes lock on to hers, even shivering with your arms at your side, you watch her robe, fall to the floor behind her, both of you standing there, staring at each other, nothing on now, but your birthday suits.

You give her a half smile, she smiles back, but this time it's her that is staring. She takes all of you in, from top to bottom. She rocks a bit forward, her head tilting sweetly, in the same motion, kicking her robe under the counter, her legs moving, one in front of the other, moving directly towards you. You can't take your eyes off of her!

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  • COMMENTS
4 Comments
WittonWittonabout 1 year ago

It would have been a 4 or very possibly a 5 but for the shift to the second person POV

Don’t use it - it simply doesn’t work

Rewrite the story from the first person or from third person - omniscient or otherwise - it will be so much improved

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago

Hey, I'll give you some kudos for posting your story.

I don't think the shift in perspective was necessary, it felt jarring to be honest.

I would have been fine with it being in your perspective. Even though It takes place in 1980 I still felt some connection. I'm a young buck. I didn't like the cliffhanger for obvious reasons, so now I'm waiting for part 2. Thanks for writing!

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago

Well, I'm sorry to say, but as a beginner you have made some cardinal errors in your story telling:

First, the change of perspective some way into the story seldom works well, unless you clearly (also) want to tell the story from another person's perception of events -- and even then it's seldom very successful as it stops the flow of the story. (-- And in this case what good did the first 'I-paragraph' add to the story anyhow?)

Second, it's difficult to find a good reason for using the second person perspective ('You'), because it hardly ever works well. Everything you as an author writes about 'you' contravenes my knowledge about 'I'. Yes, I may anyhow use my imagination when reading, but it's generally accepted that this works better if I'm fed the story from a perspective being 'I' or 'He/She' and that I try imagining how it is to be that other person, rather than imagining that I am something different than what I am.

Also those thoughts of the main character that you now in the You-form introduce in the text as some interupting parenthesises, you can in I- or He-form more easily integrate organinically in various ways in the text.

As an English as second language person I'll not be too ambitious in judgment of your language, but I think I've found enough to recommend you to seek to find an editor that can review your text for irritating errors (like site/sight) before you publish.

As a final comment I do think that ending the story where you did by most readers will be considered too early/abruptly. Most readers will likely not be prepared to create almost all the juicy stuff in their own dirty imagination, but expect the authors to spell it out to them somewhat more than you did -- after all it's a site for erotic literature. However, I belong to those who think that good erotic stories doesn't always have to include some explicit carnal action, and that erotics and sexuality has a major component in the mind, but such an approach may be more demanding for an author to become successful at this site.

Don't let all this deter you from writing other stories, we all learn from our errors. Go on, your writing in general is quite ok. But heed my advice. Rewrite this story of yours and read the old and the new version to yourself and get the feeling of improvement, then go on and write a new story here.

sexymeupsexymeupover 4 years ago
format

I didn't like when you changed the format, to me it made it more confusing to read, I quit reading 1/3 of the way down the page. 1 star

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