All Comments on 'Summer Series 01: Fresh Cut'

I can't wait to read the rest! I love it already!!!

I LOVE it so far!! Hopefully there is no drama but you don't really do that so I am totally psyched for the rest!!

Absolutely brilliant! I love this beginning. I hope there is not too much drama and a lot of love!

welcome back. love this!

The homecoming dance was on a school night?

I'm still waiting for the follow-up on this. I think we all are, actually! Hopefully, you'll have some more summer shorts for us this year, but I want this one to be a little bit longer.

Amazing!! I loved this as much as Stranger Things Season 3, and that's saying a lot !!!!! Tysm :D

Part 2 please

Why give last names to characters when they are inconsequential to the story?

"... pang of regret bounce around her chest..." This is awkward. Since when does regret bounce around in chests?

"But the weird soft spot Logan had for her since they were kids had never changed." Why is it weird? His actions continually show he cares for her. So far everything you've described about their friendship is normal. Having a soft spot for someone you grew up with is normal.

"Despite different groups of friends. And both of them becoming popular in their own right, there would never be a time when she saw Logan in the hallway or at a football game and she wouldn't get his full attention." If they are both popular and he doesn't treat her differently than before high school, why mention popularity? It's not a factor. Those are words talking up space that don't bring anything to the story.

"Asia would stare a little longer, and notice cringey things. Like how the closer to summer they got, the more freckles would appear on his shoulders. Or how his impossibly long lashes fluttered when he would concentrate on tapping out an equation on his TI-83." Why on earth would freckles or eyelashes be cringey? Honest question: do you know what cringey means? That paragraph makes zero sense.

"Her 11th-grade homecoming had been made after she had walked in on him..." Made? What is the word you intended to use? I can't tell from context.

Schools don't have homecoming the night before a school day.

You have a couple contradictions.

"No matter how close they had gotten in the past, this was the first time she had felt his lips on any part of her body." We were told otherwise in the 11the grade homecoming flashback scene. "His head had dipped down and she felt his lips wet against her neck."

"Logan stared up into her eyes as she felt his hands slip under her t-shirt." You previously told us something else she was leaving her house to meet him outside. "... pulling on some white volleyball shorts and her flip flops with the tank top she already wore before heading downstairs."

Even with the points I outlined below, this is one of my favorite stories. I love reading stories that leave me with a smile on my face at the end. I wish their was a chapter two.