by TwistedDemise
The premise ("I can't go back to school a virgin, even if I have to fuck my own brother") is a little weak, but the action is hot and not too badly error-laden (except "less" when you meant "lest").
I wonder if sis was protected or not...be nice to know she just got knocked up. Hope they will continue "getting to know" each other.
Good job.
Yeah some points were weak, if she was really drunk then it would have been better.
As to her being protected or not, with this storyline yeah why not have her get pregnant. That would certainly make sense. Then when her parents find out she's pregnant they could kick her out. It would probably be right about the time her brother moves out to attend college and or work...
Well I am sure you can build on that, or perhaps go somewhere unexpected. Of course you will probably just go the other common places to take such a story. I hope that this will either go the pregnant or unexpected route. I guess it depends if you want to write a hot or surprising story.
Good luck and keep up the good job.
yes now she needs her anal cherry popped then bring in some of her friends
How about the next part of the story is that she finds that she is preg. and he and her move away to college and live together and have the baby(s).......
It was a good plot, but it desperately needed an editor.
Please ignore the plea for anal - who needs dung-pushing!
Lukas
Please continue the story, I've a desire to know what happens the next day/night/week. Love your story, really do.
As mentioned in some of the other comments, you really need to proofread. I don't know how many times I had to reread a sentence because you didn't use a comma or should have started a new sentence. Too is also very different from to. I liked the story, but the lack of proper grammer was hard to get past.
The story premise was good but the girl wanted her brother drunk so she could fuck somebody.. as in ANYBODY.. whoever can get it up??! She sounds like a winner! I'm sure she'll be a good and faithful wife for the 'lucky' guy who she cons into believing that he's the one who knocked her up when she was actually fucking five other guys, too. The poor bastard won't even know that he's way down the list as the eighty third man to have fucked her. lol Their divorce papers will read, "This action is the result of Miss Piggy being caught getting regularly porked by multiple boars. (most names unknown, according to Miss Piggy)"
I just checked your bio and can't believe that someone your age would spell so poorly. Evidently you skipped a lot if not most of school. Take a look in the mirror and see who you really cheated. If you're going to write, have some pride in yourself and learn how to spell so you don't continue looking like such an ignoramus.
Girth = circumference, NOT diameter. Sheldon's 2 1/2 " girth is about the same size as his thumb.
But not to into it. She didn't care whose dick she got that night and only her protective brother forced her to chose to fuck him. No love just lust and I'm sure his friends will get a chance to have some of her pussy eventually.
It's a very hot story but you need to learn a little grammar. It has a lot to do with the meaning of your sentences, and makes the story more meaningful. Also, and this will put you at the top of the class: Learn the meaning of these three words:
There, Their, and They're. There means in that place, Their means belonging to them, and they're means they are.