Sun, Sand and Skin: Day 03 AM

"Babe?"

The faint voice wormed its way into Dan's consciousness.

"Babe, wake up."

He stirred, starting to properly wake.

"Wake up, babe, I want to suck your cock."

Dan opened his eyes.

His girlfriend Emma was sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in the same ludicrous - and ludicrously sexy - negligee she'd worn on the first night of the holiday. Lit by the morning sun, it was virtually invisible, her massive boobs totally on display. It was a heavenly sight. Then the light triggered his hangover and he winced.

"I thought that would wake you up," she said with a laugh. "Here, have these." She held out a cup of tea and two paracetamol.

Dan groaned but this time in half-pleasure. "You are an angel."

"Yeah, I know." Emma grinned and fluffed her hair like a domestic goddess as the sun flared in a halo around her head.

Dan washed the pills down with the tea and felt strong enough to open his eyes properly again. He blinked and rubbed his face. As he did so, memories came flooding back. Christ. "If you were trying to take my mind off last night, it worked. Temporarily."

Emma's smile dropped. She wriggled under the covers and snuggled up to him.

"Ali is really embarrassed and ashamed. She was quite tipsy last night and just sort of blurted it out. She didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

They had all been quite tipsy last night; otherwise Dan wouldn't have ended up walking around the house naked. Naked and having the size of his penis mocked by Emma's insanely hot best friend.

"Yeah, well." Dan shrugged in a way that was meant to be nonchalant but instead conveyed exactly how much his feelings had been hurt.

"Plus I told her it wasn't true."

Dan blinked at her. "What do you mean?"

"Like, maybe you are a grower rather than a shower but you're not small. You're big." She blushed. "It's the biggest dick I've ever had anyway."

"Oh? And how many dicks have you had?" On one level, Dan was pleased his girlfriend was defending his manhood. But, on another, he wasn't sure he wanted his dick to be the subject of continued conversation between Emma and Ali. Also - if he was being completely honest - he wasn't sure whether Emma's defence was grounded in empirical evidence.

"You know exactly how many dicks I've had: three. So consider yourself in exclusive company but top of the heap."

"That's not exactly the biggest sample size."

"Would you like me to increase my sample size?" asked Emma with a raised eyebrow.

"Fuck's sake." Dan was starting to get pissed off now. "No, obviously not."

"Why are you trying to argue me down? Do you want me to tell Ali she was right and you've got a little dick?"

"It's not little, it's not big, it's just average. Normal. And I don't like how it is somehow the main topic of conversation in this house."

Emma snorted. "Get over yourself. The main topic of conversation in this house is how smoking hot me and Ali are." Dan wasn't sure he wanted that to be the main topic of conversation either. He started to speak but Emma just rolled straight over him. "Look, do you want a blowjob or what?"

Once again, Dan was starting to feel like he'd slipped into a parallel universe. "I mean, yeah, but I thought you were joking. What's gotten into you?"

"Does a girl need a reason to suck her boyfriend off?"

"Usually, yes!"

Emma laughed and squeezed his shoulders and then Dan was laughing too. They kissed and the balance of the universe was restored.

"Fine, I know it isn't my fave. But if I need an excuse, how about the fact that we are on holiday and it has got me all horny? And you seem like you are up for it," she said, giving his hard dick a squeeze.

"That's just morning wood. Nothing to do with... okay, okay!" he relented as she squeezed harder.

"Why are you trying to talk yourself out of a blowjob, you dickhead?" Emma asked incredulously.

"Oh, I'm definitely not. Just things have been a bit weird. But I'm not saying no," Dan repeated, pulling back the covers. "You have my complete consent."

Dan looked at his semi-hard penis. Emma looked at it too. She made no attempt to follow through on her offer. Then she actually turned away.

"Look what I got," said Emma in a sing-song voice, turning back. She waggled a ruler in front of him.

"Jesus! Are you serious? And where did you even find that?"

"There's a drawer full of crap in the kitchen. If you need a corkscrew, calculator or stethoscope then they've got that covered too."

"Congratulations; you've made things even weirder."

But Emma had her trump card to play at that point. She leaned over and engulfed fully half his dick in one fell swoop. Dan hissed as she started to bob up and down with wet slurping noises. His eyes closed and his toes curled. Then suddenly it was over.

"Bloody hell, that was the most uncomfortable position ever!" said Emma as he opened his eyes. "I'll need a chiropractor if I keep that up. But it looks like mission accomplished."

No, thought Dan, mission was very much not accomplished. His penis wagged wet and forlorn and aching for re-entry.

"Looks like you are at full stretch so time for Mr Ruler."

Dan had absolutely no interest in Emma measuring his dick but nor did he want to tell her to stop. Instead he meekly lay there as she held his dick against the ruler, wishing he was back inside her mouth and hoping that this submission was his route to achieving this.

"There!" said Emma. "6.1 inches."

Emma seemed to be expecting a response but Dan wasn't sure what he was meant to say. Blowjob? Good. Dick measuring? A bit weird. "That was, um, fun but I'll be honest, that sounds pretty average."

"'Sounds'? That's not very scientific, is it? I actually did a bit of research last night while you were snoring away."

"I wasn't snoring," said Dan, reflexively. "Wait, what? Last night after I'd gone to bed you started researching dick size?"

"Well..." Emma blushed. "We'd sort of been discussing it a bit."

Just fucking great, thought Dan. Not only did Ali think he had a small dick, she'd told Adam and Ryan.

Emma clearly picked up on his expression. "Not like that," she said quickly.

Like what? wondered Dan.

"Anyway, the point is I found this cool website. Tons of data. And look, you just tap it in..." Emma had her phone out and was entering something into it. "Ha! Told you! 6.1 is bigger than average. Way bigger. It says here you have a bigger dick than 82% of men."

"Seriously?" Dan sat up straighter while looking down at his cock. It looked exactly like it always looked. Obviously. "How can that possibly be true?"

"Seriously. Ever heard of porn inches? Or girl inches?"

Porn inches? Girl inches? What had happened to his girlfriend? When had she turned into a dick size scientist?

"Basically," Emma continued, "everyone exaggerates or overestimates. And then, of course, there is no correlation between flaccid and erect size."

"You need to work on your pillow talk."

She punched him playfully. "What I mean is, Ali probably didn't see you at your best. And Adam is probably all mouth and no trousers."

Adam was absolutely the last person whose name Dan wanted to hear right now. "I think we've both seen his trousers," he said sarcastically. He paused. "Unless you've seen more than his trousers?"

Emma blushed. "I didn't see anything last night. Any more than the bulge, I mean," she added, blushing deeper. "But he's probably a shower, not a grower."

"On what fucking basis!? Why are we even talking about this? Look, I'm glad Ali is sorry about what she said and I'm glad you think I've got a big dick. But I really don't care and I certainly don't care about what size Adam is." All of Dan's frustration came pouring out of him and it even sounded sort of convincing. But as soon as he'd said it, he wondered if it was really true.

"So..." said Emma slowly. "What you are saying is, I should get back to this?" She raised her fist to her mouth, stuck her tongue in cheek and made the international sign language for blowjob. "Let me just get on my knees for you."

Dan would have liked to pretend that he wasn't in the mood but of course he was. His dick was still mostly hard and was rapidly getting harder as his fit as fuck girlfriend knelt on the carpet next to him. He swung himself out of bed and stood, his dick waggling towards her face.

"Why don't you choke me with that big dick of yours?" she asked, looking up at him. She looked like some sort of Seventies Playboy wet dream.

"Um, okay."

"It's roleplay, babe, it doesn't work if you go 'um, okay'."

"Right, yeah, okay. Yeah, choke on my dick, bitch."

Emma grimaced. "Too far the other way."

"Fuck's sake, Emma, are you going to give me a blowjob or what?"

She was. She pulled him into her mouth, gave him a wink and sucked for all she was worth. Oral sex was usually an in-the-bed thing, either under the covers or lights off. It was rare for Emma to put herself in such a submissive position and she was really milking it. Literally. No, not literally, corrected the idiot English Lit student inside him before Dan pushed that fragment of his psyche back down into the depths.

This was some seriously messy head and Emma never broke eye contact as she pushed herself harder and faster than she ever had before. There was no way Dan was going to last; this was insane.

"Negligee off," Dan grunted. Or thought he did.

"Did you just say 'nelly-jay'?" Emma laughed, blowhob suddenly - tragically - paused. "Do you mean this sexy little thing?" She ran her hands up her body over the slinky material.

"Yes!"

She smirked and gripped her hem, pulling it up over her head. It was one of Dan's favourite sights. Her huge firm tits flattened against her chest and raised up and up, following the movement of her arms. The flimsy cover revealed them inch by inch until it was discarded, Emma's arms dropped and her boobs thudded down, jostling each other for space as they settled back into position.

He almost came there and then. Something that didn't go unnoticed by Emma.

"Where do you want to finish? In my mouth or on my boobs? You can't come on my face," she added hurriedly.

"I wasn't going to ask!"

"Good boy. Well, which is it?"

"Tits, please."

"Tits it is."

She went back to work but almost immediately Dan was pulling himself out of her mouth and pointing his aching dick down at her boobs. They were so fat and firm that they formed their own cleavage even without a bra. He absolutely soaked them; hosing them down as he juddered and shot rope after rope of sperm.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuck," he breathed as he finally finished. It was by far the best blowjob of his entire life.

"You're welcome. Now, that was fun but messy," Emma said, hoisting her slime-coated boobs up for inspection. "You need to get me cleaned up. Clean yourself up too; you stink."

Dan saluted as she stood up. She slapped his arse in reply.

They had just made it into the shower when Dan's hangover reasserted itself. The paracetamol hadn't kicked in and his body was no longer distracted. He winced and then the shower blasted him in the face and pushed the pain away again. It was so much better than their own shower back in London which never seemed to have enough pressure. He luxuriated in it until he was jabbed in the ribs.

"You've got work to do. Soap my tits."

Had Dan died? Was this paradise? Fuck Adam, fuck Ali, this was his and Emma's holiday and this was heaven. She squirted shower gel into his hands and he brought them up to cup her boobs.

"These are your dirtiest bits, right?"

"Yeah, some ruffian soiled them." She smirked. "I've got some other dirty bits though."

"I'll get to those afterwards."

They kissed, the water flowing down Dan's back as he massaged Emma's breasts. Her nipples were hardening and he caught them in the V of his fingers. He had handled her breasts a lot - something he continued to thank his lucky stars for - and knew exactly when to be hard and when to be soft with them. Emma groaned and rolled round, driving her bum into his crotch as hands resumed their task and his body embraced her.

"I could stay like this forever," Emma murmured. Dan felt rather than saw her hand making its way down between her legs. He heard rather than felt her enter herself, a soft sound escaping her lips as she breached her nether lips. They stayed that way for an indeterminate amount of time until she started to fuck herself in earnest. She growled in ecstasy and frustration; seemingly working herself into a frenzy without approaching her climax. She grabbed the shower off the wall and directed it straight down at her cunt, blasting her slit. She yelped but persisted, her free hand grabbing at Dan and pulling his hand alongside the jet of water.

"Put your finger up my bum," she urged hoarsely.

Dan did so. This was also pretty rare and he wasn't about to demur; Emma only asked for this when she was totally in the moment. His lathered up finger smoothly slid inside her, the tight ring of flesh yielding to him. Emma moaned as he penetrated her.

"Yes. Fuck my tight little arsehole." That was a new one. Anal penetration had always been an embarrassment for her, a dirty need, she'd never embraced it before. Her hand gripped his frantically and she started to fuck herself with his fingers in both holes.

Dan was at half mast now, an unbelievably quick recovery only made possible by the overpowering eroticism of the event. He wanted to touch himself but both his hands were full. Instead he did as he was told and sawed his finger in and out of her arse as he played with her pussy.

Emma shuddered, her breathing becoming more and more laboured. "Tits," she gasped urgently. "Grab my tits."

"Which hand?"

"Back!"

Dan pulled his finger from the crushing confines of her rectum and grabbed her breasts. He reached her nipples and tweaked them hard. Emma had turned the shower to its strongest, narrowest setting and was playing this over her clit as his finger dug frantically into her cunt.

"Again! Harder!"

Dan pulled her nipples again, hard enough to distend her breasts. Hard enough to hurt. Hard enough to make Emma come.

"Aiiiii!"

Her legs buckled and she toppled back into Dan, almost knocking them both over. The shower head swung free and cracked into the shower door. "Chist!" he laughed as he caught her and steadied them against the wall.

"Yeah, that was a big one!"

She turned and melted into his arms, kissing him deeply and desperately. "Let's get dressed and see what the day has in store."

* * *

"Hey, it's Wee Willie Winkie!"

Adam was lying on a lounger in his now traditional uniform of red Speedos, black Raybans and shit-eating grin. Ali was perched on the edge of a lounger in a baggy T-shirt looking like she'd only recently arrived. There was no sign of Ryan.

Adam's grin got wider as he clocked what Emma was wearing. "Woah, nice bikini, Emma!"

It was a nice bikini. The sort of bikini that Dan had never anticipated her wearing. Even after everything that had happened so far this morning, it was still a surprise when she slipped into it after their shower. It was a bright blue bikini, tied at the hips and the back of the neck. The bottom revealed more of Emma's bum than had ever been seen in public before and the top... the top was the sort of thing a glamour model would wear to start a photoshoot before swiftly jettisoning. By contemporary beach standards, it was extremely normal but for Emma's figure - and her personality - it was shockingly lewd.

"Fuck off, Adam," said Emma curtly as she walked past, taking the furthest spot.

"Yeah, fuck off, Adam," repeated Ali. "I'm so sorry, Dan."

"It's fine," said Dan as he sat on the lounger between the two girls. He wasn't sure how convincing he sounded.

"No, really, I am sorry. It was rude as hell. I thought it was, like, a smart quip but my judgement was off. There is banter and there is crossing the line. Friends?"

She held out her hand and Dan couldn't help but be overcome by her sincerity.

"Friends," he agreed. "And you really shouldn't need to be prepared to bump into some random naked man. That's kinda crossing a line too. This is a pretty crazy holiday!"

"We haven't even started yet," Adam shouted, desperate to reinsert himself. Dan and Ali looked at each other and rolled their eyes. He could virtually hear Emma doing the same.

"You aren't some random guy; you are my best girl's best guy," said Ali, "You know what, I haven't put on any cream yet. Since you aren't a random guy, maybe you could help me?"

"Maybe," Dan agreed. He turned his head round quickly to look at Emma.

"She asked you, babe, not me."

"It would be my pleasure," he said, turning back to Ali.

"Great!" Her perky personality perfectly matched her perky body. With another megawatt smile, she whipped her T-shirt off and flipped onto her tummy. True to form, the bikini underneath basically consisted of three bits of string. "You can start with the back. Cream's there," she added, flinging her arm out vaguely to the side.

If it had been Emma - or if he'd been Adam - he'd have straddled her back but that just seemed too intimate, particularly since the thong bottom of her bikini exposed almost her entire arse. Instead he stood next to her and started to squeeze the cream onto her shoulders.

"One sec," called Ali and she reached back to undo her bikini top, letting the ties flop down off the lounger and leaving her back completely naked. "Okay, go for it!"

Dan went for it. He methodically applied the cream to every inch of her back, just like she was his girlfriend and not his girlfriend's gorgeous best friend. And his girlfriend wasn't sat directly behind him. And the surprisingly large swell of her breasts weren't pushing round the side of her chest, perilously close to the tips of his fingers.

"Now the fun bit!" said Ali. Jesus, Dan though, she is absolutely incorrigible. But she wasn't wrong.

Emma had a nice arse: smooth, firm, shapely. Ali's was something else though. As Dan's cream covered hands made contact with those glorious globes, he knew he was touching something special. Ali's arse was almost supernaturally plump and tight. There was virtually no give; Dan could have bounced a pound coin off her bum cheek.

He didn't want to linger but nor did he want to rush. Inevitably, however, Dan started to feel himself getting hard. He willed his traitorous dick down but it was no fool; he was rubbing cream into a pair of buttocks that could have been hung in the Louvre. What did he expect? His attempts to relax were fruitless, all he could hope was that no one noticed.

"Hey, Dan, have you popped a little stiffy?" Adam called out.

For fuck's sake. For all of five minutes Dan had gained the high ground and now he was straight back to being humiliated. But, unexpectedly, his amazing girlfriend rode to the rescue.

"If he has, that's pretty impressive since I sucked him dry twenty minutes ago."

There was stunned silence until Ali chipped in, "Whoa, nice work, Emma! You can't blame him though; sorry, my arse is next level."

"Yeah," echoed Dan without thinking. It was alright though, both girls just laughed. Apparently this was an acceptably abstract aesthetic judgement. Adam was noticeably silent; there was no snarky rejoinder this time. Dan realised he'd probably gone to bed horny as fuck and had to play with himself.

"Don't worry, babe, we've all seen it," Emma said. "She's a freak of nature."

"Hey!" protested Ali. "You're one to talk!" She made a hand movement behind her head that, while vague, clearly conveyed the fact that Emma was the owner of a big pair of baps.

"Maybe move onto the legs now though," Emma continued, a hint of laughter in her voice.