Sun, Sand and Skin: Day 03 AM

Dan thought that was probably a good idea. He moved onto Ali's thighs - also fucking amazing - and then worked his way down. By the time he got to her ankles, his dick had softened enough that at least there was no risk of tenting. He was also feeling pretty bold.

"You've got really cute feet, Ali," he said.

"Hey, thanks! Yeah, they are sexy little things, aren't they?"

"What the hell!?" asked Emma, mock affronted. "I never knew you had a foot fetish."

Dan shrugged. "There has to be more to life than tits and ass, right?"

"Not true," chimed in Adam. Dan couldn't help it, he laughed and then Emma and Ali did the same. The whole atmosphere changed. Perhaps Dan just needed to get a higher banter threshold. Perhaps the line Ali had talked about crossing needed to move further and further outwards.

But then the atmosphere changed again.

"Okay, time to do the front!" Ali said this as casually as if it was any other domestic chore. She then turned over as nonchalantly as if she was fully clothed and hadn't undone her bikini top minutes earlier. Said bikini top stayed where it was on the lounger leaving Ali naked except for a minimal thong that provided just as little coverage at the front as the rear.

Fuck me, Dan thought to himself.

Her tits were like an optical illusion. Objectively they couldn't be that big... but they looked huge. Not huge huge like Emma's but their fullness against Ali's frame was incredible. They were also capped by incredibly thick, long and dark nipples. Dan felt his mouth literally start to water.

He swallowed. "Um, Emma, is this still just between me and Ali?" he managed.

She didn't answer him directly. "Jesus, Ali, you are too much." Emma's tone was half admiring, half pissed off.

"What?" Ali's tone was likewise half innocent, half sly.

"You want my boyfriend to spurt his cream all over your boobs, that's what. Where's that fucking line you were talking about earlier?"

"Yo, Dan, if you are too whipped then sling the cream this way."

"Fuck off, Adam," the three of them shouted back in unison.

"This is France. You should see the beaches! Vive le knockers and all that. Besides, there is nothing inherently sexual about boobs," said Ali.

That might have been true about some boobs, Dan reflected, but it was definitely not true of these boobs.

"Oh yeah, your rack is totally non-sexual," said Emma with an epic eye roll. "That's why the boys are literally drooling over them." Dan almost brought his hand up to his mouth but managed to check himself just in time.

"Seriously, how could you be jealous of these little things?"

"They are hardly little. But yeah," Emma continued, a bit of lightness returning to her voice, "I got you beat, bitch." To emphasise this fact, she gave herself a quick jiggle.

"Oh shit, bitch fight. Hold up while I get the olive oil and the pair of you can wrestle on the lawn." Everyone just ignored Adam this time.

"I'm not jealous but you can't buy forgiveness with boobs," continued Emma as if he hadn't spoken.

Ali raised an eyebrow.

"Dan has already forgiven me. But let's ask the audience: Adam, can you buy forgiveness with boobs?"

"Hell yes,"

"Dan, same question."

"I mean..." began Dan.

"Don't answer that, you idiot," Emma interrupted. "Are you trying to get yourself in trouble?"

Dan sighed. "Look, I don't have any interest in Ali's boobs, I'm just trying to be helpful. While we are arguing, they are getting blasted with deadly ultraviolet radiation. It is basically against the hippocratic oath for me to stand here and let that happen."

Hippocratic oath, Emma mouthed at him in disbelief.

"Holy shit, dude, smooth," shouted Adam with consummate unhelpfulness.

"I think he's got you there, Emma," agreed Ali.

"Oh really?" Emma's voice had a dangerous note to it and for the first time Dan started to get actually worried. Banter was one thing but it had switched to three against one and Emma didn't like to be backed into a corner. "I am also dangerously exposed to radiation and my boyfriend - who, unbeknownst to me, is a fucking doctor - is treating another patient before me. Maybe I need to get Adam to apply my treatment."

"Now we are fucking talking," said Adam. He actually sat up on the edge of his lounger, ready to spring into action.

"Like, a topical application to the same area as, er, my patient?" asked Dan, wondering how the fuck the conversation had ended up here.

"Exactly. Or do you think you should get a second opinion on your original diagnosis?" There was definitely an edge to Emma's question.

"Hold up, Emma," Ali said, sitting up. Dan tried to ignore how that made her double handful bobble delightfully. "Cut the pas-agg and just say what's on your mind. We are all friends here."

Sort of, thought Dan. Very decidedly sort of.

Emma gave her a hard stare... but she couldn't hold it. She threw her hands up into the air in mock despair. The chain reaction this set off on her chest was definitely more than a bobble and Dan knew he wasn't alone in enjoying it. "Ali, you are too much! Okay, here goes," she said. "One, no, I'm not super comfortable with my boyfriend fondling someone else's boobs, even if that someone else is just an incorrigible flirt rather than an actual slut. Although... that last point is fucking debatable. Two, it does sound kinda hot. Three, I don't really want to get my boobs out. Four, getting my boobs out does sound kinda hot and I'm also kinda jealous of Ali just being a shameless slut."

"You just said I wasn't a slut," protested Ali.

"Five," continued Emma, ignoring her best friend. "If these guys are seeing some boobs, I better see some dick."

There was silence for a moment. Then Adam said, "You only had to ask!" He pulled his trunks down in one smooth movement and stood up. His fat flaccid penis lolled lazily between his legs.

Dan couldn't help but look. Maybe Adam was a shower not a grower but he was a hell of a shower. "Fuck's sake, Adam, I haven't had my breakfast yet," he said in disgust.

"100% British pork sausage right here." In case Dan didn't understand what Adam was talking about, he pointed at his dick whilst pivoting his hips so it slapped against his thighs.

"Bold," said Emma. "But soft sausage isn't worth world class boobs. I was thinking something a bit more active." As she said this, she picked up her novel and waggled it in the air. At first Dan had no idea what she was doing, then he realised what she was using as a bookmark.

"You have to be fucking kidding," he whispered.

"Nuh uh," said Emma.

"What are you two talking about?" asked Ali. "Have you forgotten the constant bombardment of radiation? I can feel my babies ageing as we speak."

"I'm talking about a tradeoff. The boys help us with our radiation problem; we get to measure their dicks."

Ali raised her sunglasses onto her forehead. "Who are you and what have you done with Emma Jones?"

"I'm tired of you flaunting your body and me feeling like an old maid and I don't like you both teasing my boyfriend about his dick. So we can all just lay it down on the table. As it were." Banter was gone again; this was from the heart.

"You know I never meant to hurt you, Emma," said Ali seriously.

"You aren't hurting me, I'm hurting myself! But I want to get rid of my hang-ups and I don't want you to give my boyfriend new hang-ups."

"Ali is one hundred percent in my good books now," said Dan, perhaps unwisely.

"I'll bet, you child. She's pushing your buttons like a Sugababe."

"I'll push your buttons, baby," said Adam.

"Which Sugababe?" said Ali simultaneously. "Bags Mutya."

"I hate you both. But... are you in?"

"Yes!" Adam and Ali said at the same time. "Jinx!" They both spoke in synchronisation again and laughed.

Dan didn't laugh and wasn't so quick to say yes. "This is pretty out there. What if I say no?"

"Your call. But then Ali creams herself and Adam creams me and if he gets hard - which, I mean, he's gonna! - then maybe I give him a little measure."

"But why? You don't even like him!"

Adam pulled a pretend pout. What an arsehole. Why did he care if someone liked him or not as long as he got to play with their tits?

"It's not about 'like', babe, it's about..." She stopped "I don't know exactly what it is about. But this seems like a safe space to explore some stuff and what happens in Provence, stays in Provence."

"Co-sign," said Adam.

"What about Ryan?" Dan asked. He didn't really give a shit what Ryan thought, he was just playing for time.

Emma shrugged. "I don't think he cares if his brother touches my tits." She paused. "Correction," she said, looking at Ali. "He would be jealous as fuck but that is neither here nor there."

"I meant Ali!"

"What about me?" asked Ali.

"I meant, what would Ryan think if his girlfriend was involved in a dick measuring contest without him?"

"I think he'd probably prefer that it was me touching your dick than him," said Ali.

Dan's heart practically stopped when she said 'touching you dick' and Emma's eyes flicked sideways. The implications suddenly seemed more real to both of them. Dan thought for a moment Emma was going to take a step back, see sense and stop the whole thing. But no.

"So, you in?" asked Emma.

"I'm in," said Adam.

"Yeah, we know that, Adam."

"Cool, cool."

"Dan?"

"Yeah, I'm in, I guess," he said. Dan sighed. If he was going along with this, he might as well get on with it before he had second thoughts. He hurriedly pulled down his shorts and stood up, blushing. He still had the remains of a semi but he was clearly a lot smaller than Adam currently.

"Looks like Ali was telling the truth," said Adam with a smirk.

"It's a normal dick, Adam, and yours isn't even that big," said Ali. Dan wasn't sure if she still felt the need to overcompensate for what she said last night but he was grateful nonetheless.

"Bigger than his," muttered Adam and Dan remembered conclusively why he hated him.

"I'm proud of you, babe," said Emma, "I'm still scared though! Should I do it?"

Dan looked at her incredulously but Ali answered for him. "Yes, you should do it! You've just made everyone strip naked, bitch."

"I didn't make you do anything, bitch. Okay, okay. Right. Here goes."

All three looked at Emma. Emma didn't do anything.

"Do you need a countdown?" asked Ali sarcastically. "It's like jumping in the pool: don't pussyfoot around, just jump in. Dan, you don't need to wait, get stuck in." To emphasise her point, she squeezed sun cream between her breasts. The plastic fart the bottle made broke the tension and drew Dan's eyes back to her chest.

"Fucking hell, I am gonna get hard in about a nano second when I touch those," said Dan.

"Bro, me too. Have you seen your girfriend's tits? They are fucking epic!"

"Yes, I have seen my girlfriend's tits and I'm sure she is very grateful for your opinion."

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, dude. And stop pretending you are focussed on your girlfriend's tits at the moment! Ali, your tits are fucking epic too. Differently epic but if you weren't by brother's bird I definitely would."

"Why, Adam, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," said Ali, batting her eyelashes at him. "What about you Dan, do you think my tits are fucking epic?"

"You know I do! Now, I'm standing here naked like a fucking idiot with two people I hardly know, Emma, so are you going to quit being a cocktease and follow through?"

"Gross, don't follow through. But do get your tits out," said Adam.

"Adam, Jesus Christ, are you trying to make me hate you?" shouted Dan.

"Hey, I'm just me being me. Love me or hate me, that's on you. I bet Emma will love me though."

"All mouth and no trousers," said Emma, untying her bikini. Dan would have felt better if she hadn't been staring at Adam's not inconsiderable dick while his eyes bulged out on stalks like a cartoon character as her - yes, it was true - epic tits were unleashed. "You boys are so basic," continued Emma. But she was speaking slightly too quickly to cover her embarrassment and a blush was rising on her cheeks. "You've not even touched us and you are about to jizz."

"You don't have to worry about that," said Adam. "I tossed off twice this morning. Once for each of you."

"Groooooooossssss," said Ali without any hint of opprobrium.

Dan made an executive decision at that point: he wasn't going to look at what was happening next to him, he was just going to dive in. As if his mind was disassociated from his body, his hands reached out and touched Ali's chest. Then they just sort of stayed there, his arms outstretched and unmoving, clamped over her breasts.

"What are you, a zombie? You gotta rub it in."

"No problem." Dan was proud his voice didn't croak in the slightest.

There was an enormous squelch next to him. He didn't look. So what if an arsehole with a big dick was squirting suncream on his girlfriend's tits? So what if this douchenoozle had masturbated while thinking about fucking her just this morning. So what? Dan had bigger fish to fry.

He moved his hands. Ali's skin was so incredibly smooth and firm, there was so little give to her taut mounds. There wasn't much to squeeze and yet each breast filled his hand.

In the centre, sat her dark brown nipples. They were, frankly, huge. Disproportionately large even for her disproportionately large breast. And such a delectable contrast to Emma's pale little nips. What was the deal with nipples? They needed suncream too, right? But it seemed like another escalation of intimacy.

"Your boobs are epic," he whispered to Ali.

"And your hands are niiiiiiiiice. Don't tell Ryan but this is turning me on."

"So, not entirely asexual," said Dan, as he drew his hands in towards the two prominent points of her breasts. He let his thumbs graze her hard nipples. Dan fantasised about leaning down and sucking them. More than fantasised, he actively considered it. Would Ali even object?

"I think I said non-sexual. And yeah, that was bullshit. I like it. I think Emma does too."

Yes, Dan had heard Emma's soft moan too. Whatever Adam was doing it was not asexual or non-sexual or anything but dirty as hell. Don't look, don't look, he told himself.

"That's quite enough of that. You must be hard by now," said Emma, interrupting his thoughts. "Yo, Ali, is Dan hard?"

"Are you joking?" Ali's hand shot out and cupped him causing Dan to gasp. "Hard as a mother fucking rock."

"Potty mouth," said Emma primly. "Time for the serious business though. Hmm." She tapped the ruler against her lip. "I think they are pretty much the same but Adam's is uglier," said Emma. That was nice, thought Dan, but he wasn't entirely sure he believed her. "About the same, right?" she asked, seeming to echo Dan's worries. Apparently this question was directed towards Ali.

Ali grimaced. "I mean, close?"

Okay, now Dan had to look. Right, there was Emma topless and glistening, her breast clearly recently manhandled. And there was Adam, his dick hard as hell and not much bigger than his massive semi but still... really quite big. Not just big but, crucially, bigger, thought Dan. Not important, not important, but... sort of important. Maybe he had the prettier cock but who wanted that? If Adam's was uglier it was only because it was intimidatingly large.

"Close? As if! Do some fucking science on this bad boy."

"Did you just refer to your dick as a 'bad boy'? Urgh, my fanny has sealed itself shut."

"Course it has, course it has. That's why you were fucking moaning when I was playing with your tits. That's why your gusset's all damp now."

"No, it isn't!" Emma retorted, glancing down at the crotch of her bikini bottoms.

"Made ya look!" said Adam smugly. "And if you had to look to check then you couldn't be sure."

"Fuck off, Adam," Dan said. But, as he righteously defended Emma's honour - or perhaps his own, he wasn't entirely sure - Ali sat up next to him and whispered, "I'm wet too."

"Jesus," Dan said in a whisper of his own. "You're too much, Ali."

She winked at him. "Throw me the ruler, Emma," she called, raising her voice.

"No need, I did him earlier: 6.1."

Goddamn, cockblocked by his own girlfriend.

"Nuh uh," replied Ali. "You promised me dick measuring and dick measuring I will have. Besides, gathering more data is always beneficial to a research project."

"Fiiiiiiiiiine." Emma tossed the ruler over. "Think you can stay hard while you are waiting?" she asked Adam.

"Are you kidding? But if you are worried, you can always give me a helping hand." In case there was any ambiguity about what this meant, he gave himself a helping hand, grabbing his fat, curved and completely hard dick and giving it a tug.

Emma put two fingers towards her mouth and made a gagging expression. But Dan couldn't help noticing she was staring at Adam's dick as she did so. If what she'd said earlier was true and he was her biggest then Adam - who clearly had him beat - had the biggest dick she'd ever seen.

Then he stopped thinking about Adam's dick entirely as Ali's hand wrapped around his own. He couldn't help it. He gasped.

"Sorry, is my hand cold?" A smile played over Ali's lips as she said this. Because no, of course it wasn't cold, her delicate little hand was hot and damp and slightly greasy with cream. "Don't worry, it will all be over soon."

"Don't rush on my account," he managed.

"Oi!"

Ali ignored Emma and Dan did the same. His cock looked huge in her tiny hand and he felt his balls involuntarily tighten. What was the biggest dick she'd ever had? Was Ryan as big as his brother? Or as big as him? Or smaller? Was Ali currently holding her biggest dick?

Before Dan's imagination could run away with him, she wasn't holding any dick.

"Initial data validated. A very respectable 6.1 inches." Ali threw the ruler back to Emma.

"Ha, Dan looked like he was about to nut on you! Priceless. Right, my turn. Don't be shy, Emma, wrap your hand around that. If you can," he added, throwing a smirk towards Dan.

Dan tried to ignore the jibe but it was hard when his girlfriend was doing exactly what Adam had suggested. Emma's hand was definitely bigger than Ali's but the contrast in size was even greater than when Ali had measured him.

Dan swallowed and forced himself not to look away. This morning, his own dick had been the biggest penis Emma had ever touched and now it very clearly wasn't. Forget about porn inches, Adam had a genuine pornstar dick; the sort of dick Dan watched in videos and wished he had.

Emma laid the ruler on him but before she could say anything, Adam crowed: "Seven inches! Not bad!"

"That isn't seven inches, it's 6.8 inches," corrected Emma, releasing his penis and, perhaps unconsciously, wiping her palm on her leg.

"Same difference."

"It's only, like, half an inch bigger than Dan." Emma might have meant well but Dan didn't consider this a very helpful interjection.

"More like three quarters of an inch. Length and girth."

"Well, I hope it makes you very happy," said Dan sarcastically.

"Yeah, my big dick does make me very happy actually. I mean, fair play, you aren't actually a midget like I thought but I got you beat and then some. Grower versus shower, my arse. Hey, Ali, what about Ryan?"

Seriously? This guy was asking his brother's girlfriend about his brother's dick size?

"Oh, a bit of both," Ali said vaguely, causing Adam to smirk. He clearly thought he had come out top of the trio with Dan in the relegation zone.

"So what now?" asked Adam, rubbing his hands together. As he did so, his dick waggled slightly from side to side. Dan was definitely softening, his hands removed from Ali's epic tits and his cock comprehensively outclassed, but Adam was as hard as ever.