Super Bowl Hangover

What's the remedy for this headache?

750 Word Project 2024

My wife and I took our turn to host the bi-weekly party, with our usual gang of five other couples, which was Super Bowl Sunday. Getting into the swing of things we started early, at 5:00, with a pre-game show warm up tail-gate bash, although we were actually hosting it in our condo.

At first, my wife and I were running our tails off making sure that everyone had their favourite libation topped up and the pot luck offerings presented to all of the obligatory oohs and ahhs - and requests for recipes, as well as the snack bowls re-filled. Things started to settle down a bit; the women had almost caught up on the latest gossip, and the men had thoroughly trashed each other's favourite team.

The game started. The libations continued to flow. As expected the men got engrossed in watching the action and trying to out shout each other explaining how they would have done some losing play or other better - if only they were the coach. Most of the women started to drift away, only paying attention if there was mention, or better yet shot - which the network was happy to provide - of a certain pop-star celebrity.

As usual, Buddy - who was one of those guys that thought his latest video camera was the neatest thing - began taking random clips of the increasingly drunken merrymaking. When the half-time show came on and everyone was gathered together in one spot staring at the TV, he took a pan shot capturing everyone - well almost. Then he put the camera down on an end table still going, as it turned out, capturing everyone's reaction to the show - he just left it there.

By this time everyone seemed to need a refill of their respective libation and I was 'busier than a blue-arsed-flea,' as an ex-pat Brit friend of mine used to say, getting everyone refreshed and the snack bowls filled. I was a bit annoyed that my wife was nowhere in sight to help. Once all that was taken care of, I realized I had a rather pressing need to use the washroom.

The door to the hall washroom was closed, so I assumed it was in use - otherwise it would be open so that people could find it. I figured, no problem, I'll just use the en-suite in the master bedroom.

The door to the master bedroom was closed. Not only that, but when I tried the handle I discovered it was locked.

WTF?

Then I heard it. The muffled, "Oh yes, oh yes!" that my wife always said when she was cumming.

I was stunned.

I stumbled back into the living room.

I did a mental roll call check of all the males present to figure out who the bastard was - the only one missing was my brother-in-law???

I had just assured myself that I would kill him, when he came strolling back into the room - the picture of innocence. I could hear the sound of a newly flushed toilet running in the background.

So, again,

WTF?

I knew my wife was pretty sloshed, we all were, but was she Jilling herself off in the middle of our party?

Before I could put anymore thought into it there was a major play and the room was going nuts with some cheering and some booing. Then there seemed to be a general need for more refills. I put my questions aside, as I hustled about taking care of our guests, and thought I'd talk to her about it later.

I never figured out how to bring the subject up; so, I just shoved it to the back of my mind and let it slide.

That was until two weeks later.

*****

It was Buddy's turn to host the party. Of course, what happens whenever you have a home-movie buff type of guy in the crowd, and a captive audience - he insisted on playing the latest epic that he had masterminded. It was our super bowl party. Mercifully, he had edited it down to just the half-time show group shots and the missing people wandering in.

I wasn't drinking much - too busy playing host. So, I remember clearly what had been going on. It was almost as if everything was moving in slow motion. Toilet flushing sounds...there was my brother-in-law returning from...the washroom? A minute later my sister returned followed by my rather dishevelled wife.

WTF?

What should I do now?

Divorce seemed a good option!