All Comments on 'Surprise at the Party'

What can I say, whenever you have another story out, I am all to happy to read.

Thank You for this one!

jneric2691

I liked your story & I hope you write part two of it soon.

You write your stories like they really happened, the details, Magic moments, just breathe taking. You have written two stories with locations near me, one where I live and where I lived when I was growing up, it's like you were there at one point in time. I enjoy reading your words ,don't stop, please

Sure I read this before, by you, a while back

You weave a great story with outstanding character development. I truly appreciate your writing ability.

Capt DOS

Outstanding read with no noticeable errors. Makes one wish to be in his shoes as well as other places he pokes into. If only things like this could happen to normal grunts in the world. Grunt grunt!

made me cum wow someone eat me out rn

"I've always wanted to fuck you, not today, though." - Besides, they have to wait for the STD tests to come back.

Very hot, you might convert me to an incest fan yet!

Like Sbrooks - STD tests were still pending. I'm happy for the fantasy world to be STD free, but if you call it, you have to own it. I also thought from a physical and psychological sense it would have been far too soon for either of them, then add the whole incest hang up on it as well and it should have taken weeks or months of caring and talking to get to where they got overnight with none.

Not sure how long... ok got curious and googled it, GHB can only be detected for upto 12 hours after, so the Dr's probably wouldn't have found that. This comment came from my incredulity that after seeing the ordeal, Chris didn't take her straight to hospital, not only for rape testing and to get samples etc, but also for her well being around other stuff like potential drug or alcohol (we found out later she had none, supposedly) issues especially as she had had a substance misuse problem in the past.

Was not happy that the worst the perpetrators got was 1 broken jaw between 8 of them (I include Mrs Anderson), if it were my sister there would have been a "righteous anger" at work or to quote Mr Jackson "I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger".

Once that was all done and dusted the Chris/Stevie/Tabor triangle was wonderful.

More thanks for that and another 5*.

And Yeet - Urban Dictionary " used to express excitement" (minor snip from a page). 2 new things learnt today :)

Wish we could go higher than 5 stars.

What a beautiful love story.

I can't wait to read the story again. I'm sure it will be just as good.

I'd like to see the rest of the family introduced into the family ways. I see part two soon. Maybe the Mother/Daughter conveniently getting caught masturbating? Oh the thought makes me want more.

Thanks for sharing.

My mention of STD's was simply as another reason for them not to have sex "today," and they weren't having sex, so no harm, no foul.

We can differ as to how quickly they fell into the incest, but it WASN'T "overnight."

you have done it again with a great story another chapter please 5 stars

Mum always had bad choices in men. Now chooses her brother who us narcisistic at best. Daughter chooses him too, so much for her choices.

Story too rushed and everyone wanted to fuck the others too quickly. No build up to it to provide titilation.

A well written story, but you need to keep an eye on your continuity.

For instance, you describe Stevie as having "big blue eyes" on page 1, whilst on page 2 you twice refer to Tabor's eyes as "big blue eyes full of tears" & as "a startling blue", however, when you refer to both girls on the bed on page 3 you have "blue and green eyes sparkled...". Where did the green eyes come from?

Similarly, when the sex starts in the kitchen, Stevie is described as wearing "a long t-shirt, and obviously, nothing else". This becomes a long T-shirt & purple panties (fair enough, maybe he didn't notice the panties), however, the T-shirt is removed in the kitchen, but when Chris carries her to the bed she is described as wearing a nightgown. Also in the kitchen, "Tabor pulled my boxers down and they fell to my feet", which doesn't explicitly state that his boxers are removed, but is likely to be assumed by your reader from there, but in the bedroom, Chis "peeled down (his) boxers".

well written and it kept me reading to the end. I wish you’d kept to incestual sex without pregnancy; even in a fantasy world the risks to the offspring are too great and just make me cringe...

Well written but seemed a little rushed. I know some readers like it short and to the point, so to speak. I like a little more build up than most, I guess. A good story, just the same. Thank you!

Wow, I am seeing a new style to your writing. You can really rip up some interesting and hot sexual scenes. I would really like to have a peek into your writing mind. 5*

Everyone always wants different things out of a story, some think it's great like it is, some bitch about different elements. I can't say I'm much different though, heh. It's interesting reading the comments!

The commenter cringing about health issues of an incest child; first generation (probably even second) incest children are just ss likely to be as healthy as any other baby. Honestly a normal couple are probably as likely, or more, to have a child with the dozens or hundreds of different horrible problems that you see in real life or hear about in the news, but you don't see the public screaming at the parents do you? "Why didn't they have genetic testing, they could have saved that child having to go through life like that! They should have adopted a healthy child and gotten themselves fixed!!" No, you dont see that. But two family members have sex and you hear screams of three armed, two headed babies, which doesn't happen, of course. The whole 'incest is bad!' Thing being pounded in their heads since they were kids has aparently done it's job. Times will change, heck, just half my life ago a guy pounding another guy's ass and them both liking it was an abomination and prison time. The evil taught to us as children about how bad and wrong it was! Living with a woman 'in sin' outside of marriage has now become the norm and outnumber married couples.

Another comment complained about not enough buildup, tension and resistance. Honestly that's great sometimes, but it gets really old, really fast all the time, and doesn't apply to all situations. The brother and sister here are both adults and fairly jaded, and know each other really well. The daughter is innocent and jaded from life at the same time. In a situation like this you don't need all the angsty bullshit, the brother mentally torturing himself (which I always thought was silly! I was brought up in a good, christian enviroment and I still wouldnt be mindfucked like so many of the brothers/fathers etc you see in these stories!) .

I thought the story was pretty awesome! Both the girls knew they weren't on birth control when they started fooling around with him, which says something in itself. Not to mention him not worrying about it. I thought it was hot! I loved the approach and how his niece acted too, very good!

My only personal complaint? Which will seem silly to most, probably... All the God this and Jesus Christ that. It really distracted me from enjoying the story as much as I could have! Again though, That was ingrained in me growing up. Heh.

Thanks for the great story!!

I love the hero rescues the girls stories and you write them so well.

Wow... I'm lost. Yeah... it's an incest story, and it's your story... I get it. But here's the thing: at first Chris is being the hero by sheltering his niece and saving his sister from her cheating husband and a rapist gang of guys. That's good. He's a great guy by cleaning her up, finding out that she had been raped, and just taking care of her. He tells her she need to quick choosing the wrong guy. All good, right?

Yeah, not really. Suddenly, the grateful sister wants to start "doing it" with Chris and then shows/teaches her daughter (apparently a virgin) how to do it with the white knight. And Chris - well, he was the white knight earlier but not at the end.... he just let the two ladies get their sexual jollies off with him.

Randi ... I love most of your stories but this one is lost on me.

mJack

My biggest issue with this is that after being gang raped she would have been an emotional wreck probably for years. She'd have nightmares and PTSD. She'd have needed counseling and probably drugs ... I think you treated this subject matter too lightly and were in a rush to get to the sex. What ever happened to the 6 months of waiting what happened to the STDs test results? Anyways good writing, good sex scenes but yeah... no realism.

Pure fantasy.

Why didn't anyone think of the Std's that Tab could have gotten . That cost the Story a Star for sure . Her husband Should have spent time in Prison .. I am Sure the Inmates would have Loved him

I liked this one. Sure, it is a fantasy, but as always very well done. 5 and a favorite.

good and well told story, its a shame that the brother is a bigger perv than the husband was.

Cool 😎

Good brother

Good uncle

Good lover

Happy family

I love the story. AAAAA+++++

I really enjoyed this story . What was the husband thinking, trading a fox for a goat?

Hi Randi.

A very sweet story. Love it ... again.

BJ

Hi Randi

Reread this story for the Nth time and it gets better and better with each new reading; I get juicier and juicier details with every reading. In my view, it will eventually become a masterpiece in my mind.

I'd like to know some details about Preston, Anderson and some of the others. I am sorry that no charges were filed for rape, accessory, etc. The abusers deserved it.

Are the Dr friends still friends? If you plan a chapter 2, talk about the little rugrats as well,

5*

BJ

I liked it. It was hot & no wife cheated. No cuckholding.

Very sexy stories don’t need hurting anyone.

Bill S.

And now Tabor and Chris are guilty of statutory rape, incest, and assault. That's one messed up family. You are great with descriptions and are clearly creative.

Great story. Well paced and the sex was good.

[13.01.23]

Another re-read of a Great tale!

I love the phrase:

"You stay with me and I'll have you fat as a toad in a week,"

which you also used in 'Vagabonds'.

11/10!!!!!

This one is definitely one of your better stories ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Fun, sexy, well written, thank you.

This was disappointing to me, because Randi's stories usually have some redeeming moral value, but I don't see that here...

Mormans? Not worried about inbreeding? Is it about responsible consensual hedonism? Is it just a dream?

Too short for the development of the story. I liked what was written but it needed more.