All Comments on 'Suspicion Ch. 01'

Obviously her husband still means something to her, but if she's in love with someone else--more than she is with hubby--it's time to say goodbye. And I mean right this moment. She leaves the house within the hour. Then decide whether you want some revenge and how much. If she stays with hubby, old Karl gets cut off with just one phone call.

One more read to get rid of some typos would have helped.

Nice start! Post your story as you have written it. Not everyone will agree with your ending so you need to please yourself.

Boyd

This is your story and you should write it the way you envision the story unfolding.

That said, this was an excellent first effort and you ended it with perfect cliff hanger.

The guy is her long lost twin brother that she was separated from at birth or her biological father who never knew she existed or something. Either that or she is out trying to score a kidney for her husband. Right?

Whether Im right or totally off base, its still a pretty good story so far. A few minor suggestions that would help from my pov:

- if you intend a happy ever after, you need to remember that readers dont really have your vision of what the wife is unless you make us understand. I think many authors have a certain concept of how the wife is or what a situation means while writing but they dont always put it into the story. Just because you are thinking of the many great years, or that the wife (or husband) is a good person who made a mistake, etc. doesnt mean the reader has that pre-conception in their head while reading the story. This usually makes it look like the reader is being to hard on one of the characters but its not because everyone hates forgiveness and reconciliations. It just happens because some authors dont lay the necessary ground work.

- if you actually do intend a twist, you may have let a bit much slip (in the story and the intro paragraph). If you didnt intend an innocent explanation and she really is screwing another guy that she loves, it will be twice as hard for me to take since you made it seem like a suprise was coming.

- just as a matter of personal preference, you made the husband a little too passive for me. Seemed like he was trying his best to forget all the 'clues' and hoping that he never found out for sure. Burying your head in the sand doesnt make a problem go away and if he doesnt care what his wife does (as long as she comes home to him and keeps being the wife/mother/partner she always was), why even bother with making him upset by his suspicions? Having him care about what he suspected was happening then trying his best to avoid finding out for sure just seems odd. Might be a realist reaction in a real life situation but it doesnt necessarily make for good fiction imo.

- I think you should have posted the whole story at once (again, just my preference). Not saying you needed to get rid of the chapter structure since you seemed to want a cliff-hanger. Having the next chapter up tomorrow would have been better than waiting for at least two weeks though (takes a while for the admins to post a story that is submitted I think). Chapters may build suspense but a long break between chapters just diminshes the story imo. Its also frustrating for the readers.

- waiting for feedback and changing your story to suit the comments is also a good way to ensure nobody will be happy. As much as I complain about this, or say that didnt make sense, I think that authors should write what they want. If a comment raises a point they hadnt considered, they should take it into account in their next story but they should never change what they want to write just to keep us complainers happy (not saying you are doing that, just dont really know why you wouldnt submit the second chapter with the first if it was done already).

All in all, I thought it was a good start and even a good cliff-hanger. Many possible ways the story could go and its impossible to guess since you dont have any other stories up. It could be anything from wife turns into whore and gets fucked by hudreds of guys while husband watches and loves her all the more for it, to an innocent misunderstanding and jumping to conclusions on his part (might be a little hard to make that fly given what youve already written but it might not be as bad as it looks).

However you end it, thanks for writing.

2 more chapters please and I know it will be jucy

Yes indeed, Mr. Frederick Bryan of Austin, Texas might be a tad pissed when he starts receiving unsolicited calls on his residential phone 512-343-2552 as referenced midway through this story ... unless, whiteone, you are he. In that case, I must say leaving your phone number is a rather unique way of soliciting comments on your literary works.

It seems some know exactly what he should have done. I think he did what could be done with the information he had.

I am really at a loss to figure something that could be turned positively from her admission that she loves this man. One might put an end to an affair if it is just sex that just happened and of short duration. But a love affair is not something that can be stopped except by the participant. If she really loves Karl, where does Paul stand? I can understand that some people love more than one but someone takes second place and the concern for one becomes second hand. If I am correct she must still love Paul very much. Otherwise I feel she would be with Karl a lot not just clandestine meetings down the back alley! Is that love enough for Paul to forgive her?? How would she rectify this, make it up to Paul? But then, what does Paul do about Karl? Well, shooting him comes to mind. End of that threat. But not logical. Besides the justice department, she might get mad about it, too. Same thing for beating him senseless. But something HAS to be done. His screwing Kathy means he is screwing Karl, too. Paul and Kathy are one in the eyes of god. Just what is to be done is something we can maybe discern later when we know more about Mr Gerring.

Is Karl a former lover that she never got over? Even a former husband? I can't see where she is intending to go with this situation if she loves Karl. I think Paul may as well leave, with that information. A divorce, and she can be with the one she loves. [I know, I'm ambiguous in thought].

This is a dilemna that I don't recall exactly. But maybe the author will clarify it more. I just don't see any clarification making much difference to Paul.

Can it? Will it? Paul has said that her infidelity would end their marriage. Will he hold to that?

Well, author, clear the next chapter quickly before my CRS removes the story from my mind! Fill in all particulars of Mr Karl Gerring personally and the relationship with Kathy, another man's wife, half of another man's being.

She is affectionate and sexually loving with her husband and very caring of the family - and yet she tells him that she loves another named man - puzzling yet most final for the end of their marriage.

What could the rest of the story be about - other than her telling him the details, but why would he want to hear it - as he has clearly been pushed aside for another that she loves.

He having been cuckolded with false love and her selfish obscuring ongoing sex with hubby certainly should make any man non-receptive to any discussion after her proclamation of love for another.

If I am in his shoes at this time, thats all I need to hear. Now it's pack her up and get out of our house time bitch and lets let the lawyers handle any further communication from here on out.

Lastly writer, this was very well written and although you have put their relationship in the dead file with her love comment - why and how would you justify any change to what you have already written based on reading our comments? Are you planning on second guessing yourself??? Let it go - make mistakes and grow. Just don't twist and contort what you have estabolished to get there - it won't be credible will it?

I feel you have painted yourself into a corner of divorce by her selfish choices to cuckold him over a 3 month period of time and his feelings caused by her considered deliberate manipulations if he is a normal man in my opinion.

A very good talented start writer. Now let us read a credible conclusion without dreams or magic wands unless you want?

Awaiting more - with hopeful Regard

Your suspicion worm has got a brother. Its in my stomach and its name is suspense worm... Really well done - whiteone_redone!

Bavarian

Really enjoyed the first chapter and I am looking forward to the next. Especially after dropping that bomb shell in the last paragraph, until then you assumed she was a loving wife who cared.

Yes, I like and applaud your idea of letting others write an ending. But with your last paragraph you closed the bloody door and forced a divorce, no mater what else any other writer would have wanted to do with the story.

You might as well just post your ending, as you've left so little leeway. The whole point of inviting others to complete a story is to leave thing ambiguous so that another author can take it in the direction he wishes. Sic "His name is Karl Gerring. And yes, I am in love with him." Game, Set & Match!!!

DC

with your comment of withholding the second chapter, I felt entirely cheated. Having spent my time ignoring other well written stories, I find out you are not ready to finish a story you wrote. Too bad I couldn't have the rest of the story. By the time the next part comes out, I will have lost interest.

I'm very impressed by your writting and the way you have plotted this story. I especially liked the slow build up that led from suspicion to the truth. As to where you should take this from this point - that's your perogative as the author. Take the story where you feel it should go. Don't depend on your readers to make that decision. It's your tale, let your talent determine the ending. I, for one, hope that you will keep writing and submitting to this site

I can't wait to read the rest of your story.

More real than some stories I have read of cheating, can't wait to read next installment.

Thanks

But you cut it off so fast and at the deepest and darkest point that I felt my heart and cock was ripped off. Jesus you could have given us a little more. Now what do I do? Wait!!!!! Please publish this ending now!!!! It's only fair to your readers regardless of the feed back. Was she or wasn't she? Will they split up? COME DAMN IT I'm not getting any younger!!!

Enjoyed it so far. Usually the wife says she doesn't love the other guy . . . interesting!

This is a well-written, easy to follow story. I rate stories on this site for their style only - do they keep me interested, and are they free of mind-distracting mistakes or word ommissions. This one is excellent.

I do not rate stories for their content. They are fiction, nothing more than a whim of the author and guided solely by his imagination.

So whiteone, take us where you will, and keep up the good work as we both travel along your way.

Len Bee

You have me in nervous suspense over what she is going to tell him ,I feel sorry for him and for what he is going thru at the moment,fine story so far.

there are women out there waiting for a good man.don't whine or wimp out,just tell her to get out and leave the childred.that the way to handle betrayal and adultery.from what you have wrote you put this woman before everything,so you treat her as she deserves like shit from now on.respect and trust is what a marriage is build on,she broke all the rules and vows,you owe her nothing.tell her to pack and go.

I agree with other readers who say "finish the story your own way, don't worry about what commenters say".

The fact is that you CAN'T please all the readers--you need to be true to your own vision of the characters and the story. Some readers will be happy, others not. That's their (our) problem!

This first installment was very well-written and the suspense builds to a very high pitch. All of us eagerly await the next chapter.

ohio

“You love him, enjoy life with him. YOU tell the children why YOU decided that WE weren't enough for you and then get out. I can’t tell them why you threw us away like last weeks garbage, or why you decided that we don’t matter anymore. Don’t say we did! IF WE had mattered THIS would not be happening. You let him mark you and he did it so I would know that you were making a mockery of the last sixteen years of my life. I’ll be having the children DNA tested because nothing you say from now on is valid, and everything you’ve ever said to me is suspect. Oh by the way, exactly which part of “Forsaking all others, cleaving you only unto him." did you NOT understand 16 years ago?” If she refuses to leave, take the children and go. She chose to destroy their lives let her explain it to them.

Good story so far. Can hardly wait for the finish.

...wanted to go with it.

So far it seems like a good family and the wife 'acts' like she loves the husband, but when you had her admit she loves the other guy too, I just can't see any way this marriage can stay together with that admission combined with the obvious lies and cheating that have been going on. It was that "Digging the wife in a hole that is too deep for me to see her a plausible way out of" that I'm at right now.

But long as its plausible I can handle most storyes >=)

I agree with Landrious1, be sure that SHE tells EVERYONE that it was her and her alone that ruined the marrage.Waiting for the second chapter....

This is an excellent first story, other than I don't like to be left hanging, but what a way to finish a first chapter.

Publish your own verson of Ch 2, I may or may not like it, as I do have my personal preferences (reconcilliation where possible, but not at all cost, but not shoot the wife, castrate the lover)but it is your story.

If I don't like the ending, I either will accept it, or contact you and ask permission to do my own version. More than likely I will accept it, and probably like it.

As a would be writer myself, I know we can not please everyone, so work on pleasing yourself. From the comments today, it is clear you can see the mixed bag out there already.

So, please hurry and publish it, and keep up the good work.

andrew peters

For the writers who say....Finish it your way, to heck with

the readers...oh sure...right...we all spend hours on a project to be told we are dog meat. That our parents swung

on tree limbs, etc. (and those are the nice comments).

How you finish it might depend on what you want in a following on Lit, etc. If you make him a wimp hubby who says to go ahead and have her affair, he loves her anyway...you get those people for an audience. I would never look into your stories again myself. Why? I don't like that type of story. It is fine for those who do, but not something I like. So you lose some people. If you

have him shoot her in front of the kids, you lose some

people. If you have him become a monk and move to Tibet,

you lose some people.

One major area to lose a cross section of readers is when

you totally leave reality. The "mother ship" picks her up

because she is really a Martian. Who wouldn't dump the

story at that point? Yeah, I know, the scifi crowd would

love it.

The bottom line for you, as a writer is: Some of your friends will agree, some of your friends will not agree and

if you are like me, you like to agree with your friends and

be well liked. See...glad I was able to solve your problem.

I would have confronted her, asked her the same thing, then

probably ask her for a divorce. If she loves him, she will

say thank you. If she says she loves both of you...dump her.

reality and sadness if she comes back and tells you she loves him. But know the entire story. Get all the info. But write the story the way you want it to end. But please.....please .....please!! Don't make this wonderful man and husabnd a cuckold!

She says she loves him. Well at least it’s not the “OH, I love you it’s just sex with him” story we normally have here. You can go many ways but it seems this husband is portrayed as a no nonsense guy. If that carries over to his marriage she has killed the love and trust so what is left?

As far as the kids they will go with the mother and father for joint custody. She’s not in love with him any more and that has no bearing in court on custody of the kids unless there is something totally depraved can be proven. Of course in real life the kids are in for anguish like most all separated families.

She’s been a coward and liar to the husband, so now will she tell him the truth so they can start their own lives? The pain that’s coming is some of the harshest man or woman can have. It’s almost like death except the other person is still around to keep the devastation right up front. It can be worse then death.

He’s been told he is not a good enough lover, friend or in his mind man. She’s tried to have it all and not make a choice, but now is her new love worth the exhilaration of cheating and will the new upheavals of starting a new life and family kill some of her new found outlook.

Nothing I’ve intimated is new or earth shattering, it’s real life. Please take this fantasy were you will as I guarantee, as has already been said almost half will disagree. That’s one thing that makes these Loving Wives stories so wonderfully volatile. It raises emotions about the characters, as so many people love to consider and comment on.

Thank you for the great story and I hope you come back with Chapter 2 as soon as you have it well planed out. Your writing is very good.

With respect

Your readers have the option of liking or disliking your story. YOU have the obligation to tell the story! I have always felt cheated when an author chickens out and gives multiple endings, you won't even do that apparently, until you have been stroked by the reader! Cheez!

Ok, I like the story to this point. But how can I say it is good or bad until I see how YOU, who have created the participants, have the guts to tell us what they did. Until you do, I have no idea if the story is good or not. I can say you have good grammar and there are few spelling errors. But that is only a portion of the story and not what I generally consider in my value of a story, unless either or both are so poor as to make reading the story difficult.

I try not to hammer on a writer publicly, but you by damn have asked for it. You give us a wonderfully tension filled first chapter, with a male character we, or at least I like and care for. The emotion is what one reads these stories for. You have given us the picture of a wife who is a good mother, and up to now a woman who cares for and loves her husband. Then you throw in that while the story is finished, you won't post the finish until you have been told, apparently, more readers like it than dislike it. You hint that READER response may, or may not, influence the outcome. Talk about weaseling out!

I certainly will not vote for this, though I will give you a 25 on the comment section (which as far as I know is meaningless).

So...

This is a good strong start. They are your characters so develop your own concepts. From your story so far I feel Paul is a strong person will follow a considered path. Personally I'm a vicious type so I'd have her torched.

Good story....feel for the husband....why can't women be honest....??....wish you would follow up quickly....no one likes to wait a long time to finish reading an interesting story and this is one i am enjoying. Please finish quickly..!

I see your ending eliminates any further suspicion.

Your next chapter may start with " I love you Paul and I love our family, but I am "IN LOVE" with Karl".

She may even admit that the hickey on her boob came from Karl's sucking while fucking wearing Victoria secret's lingerie in the hotel where she dinged the lady's car on the way out.

And... oh yeah...she could also say she is sorry and that she didn't mean to hurt Paul or the children.

But she and Paul could in unison say...Where do we go from here? and that's the question to be answered.

But that's me.

further devastation? Third paragraph talks about a three month lenght of time, but the telephone call came "several weeks" after seeing the bruise, and then the following saturday, finding the lingerie and the revelation. There appears to be 2 1/2 months to go.

Can it only be divorce or cuckold...i think after all this time and the little worm getting bigger and finaly wham...if it wasn't a story shoot both of them...

...the last three paragraphs killed it for me. Sounds like you want praise from your readers and need their applause before trotting out the conclusion. That haughty approach just about ruined an otherwise well conceive, well executed story.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating. The cook can spoil it by telling his diners all the things he *could* have done with it, or asking what they would *rather* have had. On the surface, your writing indicates you have confidence in what you are doing, but asking for approval to continue leaves us wondering if we should have tasted your work in the first place.

In my view, you should have omitted the last three paragraphs and published *your* story in its entirety. If it is worthy of praise, you'll get it, without asking.

You did tell us that he is Karl Gerring and she love him didn't you. At least thats how I thought it ended. The surprise would be if they ever got together again.

PS. We comment like we want to. You write like you want to.

Thankyou

No more 'suspicion', is there?

How could anyone write a realistic ending that did not end up in a separation.

You have her tell him she loves another man, even gives his name. In that case, as another poster said "Game, Set & Match!!!"

Unless of course we are in for another DEM ending where she really did hit her boob on a cabinet, and the lingerie was for her twin sister that he knew nothing about, and she wouldn't tell him because her half brother wanted to kill the twin, but her other 'good' half brother Karl is helping her.... Twould have to be somethimg that way out to even get them close again.

Actually, my 'most likely in the circumstances' ending would have something to do with a play on some soon to be demonstrated difference between 'loving' someone, and being 'in love' with someone.

All that said, I still feel lied to by the author - he painted Kathy as a 'loving' wife - she was shown as truly concerned by Paul's absence and confusion. Then she says without hesitation and no qualms whatever that she is in love with another man. Well, very sorry, but you lost me there.

Also, I find myself agreeing with Troubador - It's YOUR story - write the lot, post the lot, or don't bloody well bother.

This melodramatic crap should be left to the TV soaps who do it to death daily.

Write your story, post your story and live with the comments.

While your story is good to this point I want to see YOUR ending not what you think the readers want by their comments. Multiple, reader suggested endings tend to take away from a good writer's story.

I have no time for writers who first preface their stories, thereby killing the illusion that it might be true and secondly cannot finish it because they ask for views first. If you can't complete a story then don't write it.

Next time - put your whole story in without follow-up parts and let it stand alone. It is patronising arrogance to think we are all going excitedly wait for Part 2 etc.

We want an erotic story not a mystery.

I think everyone should always vote and score each story. I think each reader should comment on each story... I love to get both. So I guess each reader should email the author of each story, because I love to discuss storys with readers or authors.

I even enjoy writing alternative endings to other author's stories. I'm almost finished with a new ending to "How High a Price" What I don't ever want to do is write an ending to a story that an author plans to finish. You're asking me to take your story away from you.

Now, just from the bit I've read, I think you're a better writer. You've done a great job of creating a character that I care about. If I find you ending doesn't fit or if I can't live with it, then perhaps, but what if we write the same ending? Then I'm left in a very nasty place.

Please finish the story, get it posted quickly and then get after your next one. It's already late by my watch.

I hope to see the ending very soon. I like it so far.

Don't hang things out. Publish the remainder of the story.

She'll probably tell hubby that she loves him and her family but is in love with the other man.

Hubby should tell her; now lets go and you tell the kids that you have just dumped on us, what you have done, and that you are moving out and we are getting a divorce. Also because of her deceit dad will have to tll the kids that they will need a DNA test so he can assure himself that they are really his kids. He'll tell them that he loves them dearly and hopes they are his, and even if they are not he will still love and care for them. Leave mom standing ther in the world of s*&t that she has turned her beloved family into.

Hal

...write your own next chapter. We don't want to see your behind-the-scenes angst and confusion. If you can't write a story without a committee, don't bother.

Kept me from starting this unfinished story.

Author, if you're going to try to blackmail your readers into feedback by withholding the story's finish, you deserve what you'll get.

i myself see no problem with this... she has admitted it now do the divorce thing... since she loves the other guy ..again no problem let her have him ...she gives up the kids to him along with everything else... all she gets is her new boyfriend ..she really doesnt deserve even child visitation does she...thats it simple he gets everything from the marriage ..she gets her new boyfriend... probably wasnt a good mother anyway

Divorce the cheating slut. That is his only option unless you choose to wimp him out. She says she loves another. Will he have the balls to do the right thing? I doubt you have the balls to do the right thing in chapter 02. A higher score is possible if you end this right.

It depends on who and where Karl works. If he is a work colleague of Kathys then fraternisation clauses can provide some relief. If he is not then he needs to take a deep breath for his children's sakes and set a framework thate will see them through high school. He cant trust her again and he needs to stop sleeping with her so that at least one of them survives any possible disease.

They need a working agreement that survives ten years for the kids to get through college. As a "Black Irish" catholic who keeps his vows I would then maim the lover so that he cant perform and contemporaneously divorce her. Killing the lover gets the husband a potential capital sentence but maiming the lover doesnt allow the lover to be "glorified" in death and gives the wife the awkward necessity of having to replace her personal sexual gratification.

If everything was just like he wrote it so far:

- the title wouldnt make sense

- the wife wouldnt love either of them and he went out of his way to say she was loving and imply that he liked her as a character. Wouldnt love the husband enough to leave him and wouldnt love the boyfriend enough to be with him. It would be a story about a user who used one guy for financial support/stability and another for sexual gratification

- author insinuated this wasnt a cuckold story but thats all it would be if it turns out that all of his suspicions are correct

- how could she already have developed a deep and meaningful relationship based on sneaking off to a motel for some nasty cheating sex a few times a week? She has kids and another life that she wouldnt be able to get away from often enough for it to become much more than sex in such a short time (I guess it could turn out she has been with him for their entire marriage and just married the husband to support her and play the patsy).

There are lots of things in the story that wouldnt make sense if its simply a story about a wife cheating. Even if the author wants a story about a woman falling in love with 2 men, most of the story still wouldnt make sense.

Whether its a straightforward cheating story (if she says she loves both its still just cheating along with some stupid rationalizations) or if there is some kind of suprise coming, its not worth getting worked up over yet. Either the author has something up his sleeve or he has some odd notions on how to treat people you love (I doubt that I would ever believe she loved me if I found out she was lying to me for months and sneaking off to be with her lover - wouldnt have anything to do with the sex either). In one instance the outcome may be satisfying and in the other, its not really worth arguing about.

The alleged lover has to be either nephew or baby wife wants to adopt, but it doesn't make much difference to husband. At the rate at which he knocks off Jack Daniels and beers he would be too soused to tell the difference one way or the other. He is lucky tho when caller gives him her whole life history on the phone without the vaguest idea of who he is. 60 year old George

Please post the rest of the story as you wrote it. Fiction by committee just doesn't work.

Does anyone out there think the great writers simply write a story, send it to a publisher, and it is printed into a book? Even the Clancy's, King's, and Grisham's get comments and request for changes from their editors. Sometimes writers are so immeshed in their stories they develope blind spots. They know what they are thinking, but fail to get the ideas across in words. Sometimes they realize the problem and ask for help getting their message across. Sometimes they just want feedback on which way a story should go. That is what has happened here. The people who want the author to "write his own story" don't realize that even the great writers get help. That is what this comment section is supposed to be about, helpful feedback to the authors so they can decide which way to go with a story, to find out what people like or dislike so far, and how to change the story to make it better liked. I assume most of the writers here send in their works to entertain people To get a good score gives a little ego boost and validates a persons writing ability.

The main problem on this site is the length of time from submission to posting.

Some authors choose to ignore the comments, and I have seen stories start off with high scores end with bad ones.

The end of part one. in my mind, pretty much ends the marriage. If she has let an affair with another man reach the point she loves him, I see no reason for him to try to work things out. How could he ever relax and trust her again? The story can still have a happy ending, with him finding a woman he can trust, and getting custody of the kids.

I agree with other coments here. She should be out of the house within the hour. Give her time to get some things together, but remind her that she doesn't need underwear because she has all kinds in the trunk of her car. Send her to the kids rooms and force her to tell them that she is leaving the home and does not plan on ever returning. Also let her know that he plans of keeping the children and that she will be able to has supervised visits with them because he doesn't want they exposed to her life style. Let her understand that if she and the lover try to take the children he will kill the lover. She can have her children or lover but not both.

the finish is worth the wait. looking forward to part two. it will be better if it's your story and not the readers.

Ok, I will add my comments to the mix.

You say you have already written the conclusion the way you want it. Then just submit it. I see no reason why you would want to wait. Our comments to you will not change what you initially came up with so why would you want to wait?

rip32 said authors get all kinds of feedback on their stories before they are published. That is what the editor program is for. Literotica submissions ARE PUBLISHED ALREADY so it is too late to get feedback. If you want to know about changes you should make use the editor not us.

I can see holding back chapter two for a day or two which I myself have done. But, nothing that was said in comments changed the second submission. Don't allow it to change yours.

Comments are a source of entertainment, learning tools and fodder for ways to handle future stories. Use them and enjoy them for what they are.

Finally, I add my vote to the plea to post the finish soon.

Your effort in this story is appreciated.

Charleybear

While I don't like to get into a story and then not finish it, this story is a gift to us from the author. I too hope the rest of the story comes in short order, but I do not feel justified in badgering the author. I cannot concieve of what would entice the writer to post a wonderful beginning, state he has the balance ready to post, ans then, withhold the rest.

The plot is rather straight forward. The female charater is believable, if shameless. The male character is unbelievable. When faced with all of the clues he should have figured it out and realized, whatever her comments, she had lost her respect for him and his trust in her. In those circumstances the end has already passed. He needs to start to protect everything he can for the remainder of the family. I am really cutious to see how the talented person resolves the issues raised.

The author told me a few days ago that he has sent in the second chapter in. How long it takes Lit. to post it, i don't know.

For me I would like to see something bad happen either to the wife or the asshole. let her leave and have him die in a car crash or something don't know anyone that likes good things to come to cheaters

I enjoyed chapter one alot, and can't wait for chapter 2.

Her final statement has put him in a total "no win" situation. The marriage will end unless he wimps out and his manhood and self-worth is destroyed in any case. Thank You. Ronnie W.

this was a great breaking point.

This was artfully done for a first story. Great job of grabbing my attention.

Welcome to Literotica.

DJ

jc would handle kate and the lover.

I hope you have him stay with her.

And, I hope you have her not come clean nor have him come right out and question her, even thugh he knows the truth when she tells him they are going to have another addition tot their family and one of the comdoms he has used when they make love must have leaked. Have him kowingly accept her lovechild as his own- even thogh he actually knows the truth.

her. Oh yes baby give me the diseases you get from your lover. I want to share the diseases, the sickness, the death with your unfaithful ass and your lover.

I read this story already he is an old boyfriend from her past and she wants him as her lover and she wants to stay married to him .

I read the sequel to your story first and the original (as is the case most of the times) is indeed much better. You create the build up very well, the dramatic tension is palpable and the attention to details is impressive.

A woman washes clothes. Unless her hands are tied behind her back, clothes get washed. A bag of dirty clothes gets washed.

unfit mother and an adulterer and get before a sympathetic judge and get full custody of the kids with the divorce. She can have her lover.

only an "aho" writer would want praise at half-tim.

worth reading for the fantastic descriptions of those initial life changing moments of reluctant realisation. Shocking final page. Class...Mancelt.

What an incredible start to a very well written story. Taking a single word and spinning a wonderful story. Delicious tension!

the slut has lost touch with reality!!

I gave it 1*

... I stood in the doorway watching as the three huge black guys where pounding my loving Wife in all of her holes simultaniously. She was moaning around one cock as the two others drove into her pussy and ass.

Was my wife cheating on me? I didn't know yet, but that little worm of suspicion entered my brain."

A little dense he is, the yound Padawan.

Good plot and good reading - I am looking forward to the follow-up.

... I'm really liking it.

Thanks for sharing.

A cheating wife admits her indiscretion. Ch. 2 coming up. Let's see...

his badly buggered cornhole, his smoking the fat cock, betrayed!

As she sits in their house playing loving wife -

screw he - in the soul -

If this writer makes hubby out to be a faggot In chapter 2 he should stop writing this trash and just kill himself. There is no way any guy would be this stupid. The love mark on her tit was a glaring red flair In the face. Then he acts like he has a 6 year olds brain duh what do I do now duh. He needed to hire a PI and a lawyer or just kill the cunt. That would be a better ending

Beautifully written and very engaging. Five stars.

Love the comments? either its based on real observations as a 3rd person or from direct experience in the authors relationship past or present, very good so far. As for a wimp? I don't see a wimp, and what signs, a bruise which she clearly explains, no proof for the husband mind you, and now an accident, ok in a hotel, but remember no proof. At least until the end with her confession. Very well done.

Still loving it. A very sad tale. Five stars.

Top drawer writing and story line. On to Ch. 02

Just another cheating wife? Let's see part 2...for the doubts 3 *...

Hickey on her breast and you still had doubts. Why is it all the dumb assholes do nothing and allow things to go on for months. Walk to her in the bathroom and confront the cheating piece of shit. Jesus Christ. The result is still the same.

If she loved other man why the fear? a simple divorce was enough...

how bad and deep will it go. TK U ,MLJ LV NV

it is hard to think of anything else.

why didn't he just take a drive to the motel and ask the manager a few questions?

Are guys really this clueless? I mean you see a hickey on your girlfriend or wife's breast. Guess what? She would have had to smash the hell out of it to get a bruise and it wouldn't be oval shaped. That's called a hickey and she is cheating on you. Are people so weak that they willingly overlook the evidence and convince themselves that it doesn't exist?!? No wonder women think they can get away with this shit.

The look of guilt followed by a look of shame, neither makes sense for a faithful wife.

"I gave her my number when she gave me her business card. I asked her for her home number also which she wrote down on the back of her card."

If Nancy has Kathy’s business card, why is she calling at home? Isn’t Kathy at work, and if not, where is she?

“I had no tangible proof of any infidelity on her part.”

Maybe no video, or text or whatever, but certainly enough deceptive answers to justify asking the tough questions.

He DEFINITELY should have confronted her with the lie about the accident.

And now that she has admitted she loves Karl, he should throw her out the door and tell her to go to him!

to BTB. Or just leave. Very well done. On to chapter 2.

Congrats on a very well written story. Five out of five. Your writing is very clear and error free. Your dialogue was solid and believable. I liked the way the husband thought things through and didn't just go off the deep end. I really liked the slow build up, the way the little details were unfolded until the big finale.

As a constructive criticism, I would suggest a little less detail in the accident from the other women. All it needed was the wife not mentioning it and maybe the wife changing the day and the time of the incident. The two different locations and especially the real location being in a motel parking lot was almost too much of a clue. If you want the reader to still be uncertain until the find in the trunk, you need just a little less info.

I am hoping some day to read a story in Lit in which the slow build up of the evidence isn't conclusive and the husband can't get proof of the wife's cheating and still has to make a decision. That would be very interesting.

The next chapter will make or break this story. I hope it is as clever and as well written as the first chapter. Cheers Steve

The ending cries out for the next chapter!!!

wouldn't have given the lady in the car park her home phone number, only her mobile, assuming she had one -- even her work number would have been chosen in preference.

Wonderfully written. Still five stars. Still love it.

all the questions are waiting for answers

Just so damn passive for knowing she is continuously lying and knowing she is a cheating cunt. He had to have known. No one is stupid enough to believe she is innocent.

Just too calm.

Other than that, I will read part 2 and see where you take this.

If it was me, it's the boyfriend that I go after.

what a fucking wimp.