Suspicion Ch. 02

When I indicated the meeting was over, he was very slow to rise from the chair. As he got to his feet, he finally seemed to gain some control over his initial shock. He thanked me for approving his company and then he said he would like to meet with me for lunch.

I told him we could meet the next day at Brandon's restaurant across the street from my office. He looked pleased at my response but was still unsure how to end the meeting. So he just smiled and said he would meet me at Brandon's the next day at noon.

After Karl left my office, I slumped back into my chair. There was a tightness in my chest as I realized the first lover in my life had just been resurrected from the dead.

Nothing happened the next day over lunch except that Karl told me the awful details of what happened after his father was killed. His mother had always been a frail woman. The news of her husband's death caused a nervous breakdown. She had to be committed to a mental hospital. Karl was now forced to assume the role as the head of the family. There was his little sister he had to comfort and support. The Army arranged for Karl and Jennifer to be sent back to live with the grandparents. Their mother remained behind in the mental hospital as Karl and his little sister returned to Idaho.

Before Karl and his sister had settled in at their grandparents', they were given the news that their mother had committed suicide in the hospital. In the brief period of less than a month, Karl and Jennifer were orphans.

Karl told me his grief and the burden placed upon him with the deaths of his parents was the major reason he stopped writing to me. He felt he would no longer be able to uphold the promises he made to me. There were other more serious demands placed on him. He wanted me to be happy and to move my life forward. So he stopped writing to me in hopes I would find another man to love.

At no time during the lunch conversation did Karl make any statements that he wanted to become a part of my life again. He knew I was married and the mother of two children. I believe he was sincerely happy for me and for my life as your wife. The luncheon ended with a hand shake as Karl walked to his car in the parking lot. I went back to my office and tried to get on with my daily work.

Unfortunately for me those early memories would not go away as much as I tried to push them into the background. Evelyn continued to advise me not to see Karl again and for me to forget about him. I never told her any more about my meetings with Karl. I guess I was too ashamed to tell her of my adultery.

Paul, I really did try to follow Evelyn's advise. For over a week I wrestled with my internal demons. The following week, I finally gave in and called Karl and asked if we could meet for lunch again. That next luncheon was the beginning of my infidelity.

There was no seduction or sex involved. But during our meal, I confessed to Karl the fact I had never stopped loving him. He confessed the same to me. At that moment, I knew I needed to have Karl as part of my life once again. It was me, Paul, not Karl who started the wheels in motion for what would become several sexual tryst for us before you made your discovery.

Somewhere in the following weeks I became a different person. Somehow I began to feel I was two different women living in the same body. When I was with you and the children, I was the same loving wife and mother I had always been. When I was with Karl, I was that young girl again finding my lost love and once again having him in my arms.

I knew it was wrong. No excuses, no defense for my actions. All I can truly say to you Paul, is my love for you has never diminished. Contrary to many stories you may have read, there was never any competition between you and Karl in my mind. You are my husband and he could never be my husband. Those were my thoughts during those days of confusion and turmoil for me. Never, and I mean NEVER, did I ever consider leaving you for Karl.

All I can hope for at this juncture in our lives is that you will reconsider your decision to proceed with the divorce. I do not want to be the ex-Mrs. Paul Matthews. I want to remain your wife and to live together as we have since we were married.

But as much as I would like to say to you that I will never see Karl again, I would only be lying to you. Karl is back in my life and I don't want to lose him again. This is not the way a marriage is supposed to work, my darling husband. But, I cannot help myself for feeling the way I do now. It is my wish we can some way come to an arrangement which would permit us to live together as the family we have always been, and to share it with my dual life.

If you can find it within your heart to meet with me, maybe I could better explain my feelings and answer any questions you may have of me. But, my darling husband, I desperately want to remain your loving wife. I love you now and forever.

Your loving wife.

Kathy

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I sat there with the letter in my hand. I now knew more about Karl and Kathy than I had before about their past relationship. It may have been a lost unfulfilled teenage romance for Kathy and Karl, but I would not be any part of its fulfillment.

Kathy's letter was a true confession, but it changed nothing in my mind. I knew now there could never be a full reconciliation between us. She once again told me she needed Karl to be part of her life. There was no way I could be apart of that arrangement. I put the letter back in the envelope and filed it away for some future date when I would let Jason and Christi read it and understand why their parents divorced.

I went silent about reading the letter. Evelyn finally stopped me several days later and asked me if I had read the letter.

"It changes nothing. Whatever Kathy and I had for 16 years is now over. I do not care to meet with her or ever see her again. The divorce will be finalized next week." I turned and walked away from a very sad soon to be sister-in-law.

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Epilogue:

The divorce decree was finalized without me being in attendance. I had my attorney attend the hearing when the decree was made official. I was told Kathy was there and cried as the judge issued the pronouncement.

I had my wish. I was never forced to come face-to-face with Kathy. Whenever necessary, I would inform her of my plans with the children through her sister. The instructions would simply be for her to remain away from us and not to try and interfere with them. In effect, she no longer existed in my world.

Six months after the divorce, Kathy and Karl married. Over the next two years, they Kathy gave birth to a baby boy. They remained living in Gilmore. Kathy's close relationship with Jason and Christi continued over the years. Christi was especially thrilled when her mother gave birth to her new step brother. I never met with Kathy or her family after the divorce. In my mind, she died the day I made my fateful discovery.

I remained the stern and loving father who became totally involved with the children as they grew up. I refuse to go any dates with the numerous females who constantly tried to become involved with me. Kathy was the only woman I would ever love enough to want to be intimate with. In place of sex and female companionship, I focused my attention on the children, my job and I even became involved in local politics.

Love may be a many splendored thing, but love can also be a very destructive force when Cupid decides to play his practical jokes. So it was for Kathy and me.

- Fini -

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So my dear readers, you have my version of the end of the Paul and Kathy story. I'm sure that there are a number of you who would like to tar and feather Paul for the way he shunned his wife and refused to meet with her. I can only say that in Paul's mind Kathy's betrayal of his love and trust was the ultimate crime. Her infidelity decimated his soul.

Could he have possibly forgiven her if she swore the affair was over and Karl was no longer her lover? Quite possibly. But that's not the story I wanted to tell. Too many of Literotica's Loving Wives stories end with the contrite wife vowing her love and renewed faithfulness to her husband only. I thought a different twist might just get the readers' attention. Or maybe just their ire.

Feel free to pen your own Chapter 2 of Suspicion. It's a story that could have many different endings. Especially if you can convince Paul to open up his marriage.