All Comments on 'Sweat and Delirium'

continuation???

i would be interested to see you write a longer form story with more build up because you say you write novels but obviously your prioritising action in these stories (not a bad thing just diffrent?)

are you boy or girl you wrote one story from each pov

Outstanding! One of the best by far. So very well written, descriptive, realistic! Dialogue is so good and I appreciate it very much that they refer to each other by their names. I cannot wait for chapter two! Five stars are too few! Thank you!

Present tense is unreadable for me. It's my own problem, but if it's present tense or second person pov, it's unreadable for me.

This story is perfect, and you've got a storytelling that could be featured in published novels anytime. Of course, if the greater public accepted such taboo. Keep it up! Keep us coming!

Can’t wait to see how far they stretch reality! Hopefully a good build and slow burn like this one as they discuss where their relationship will go and discover each others kinks. I’d love to see how far they want to stretch reality especially since sis has already thought about being impregnated even if in a lucid state. Great stuff and cannot wait for more and hopefully longer chapters!

Very nice. 5 stars.

The first story on this site trat shows a true command of language. Incredibly poetische.

Hot damn, that was fun! Very much would like a sequel! You write well, and I enjoyed this beginning!

GOOD!

Nice story with very good narration - not simple, but also not too poetic.

About next chapter, I'd love to read backseat fucking. Y'know the trope - overpacked car, unaware parent(s) in the front, and illicit fun in the back.

Very hot. Great writing. I can love this story as it is, but I do hope for more from these two.

Very well written; very nice to read, without any grammatical errors. A pleasure.

fucking fuck

Idea for a story that hasn't been done a lot. Brother and Sister Pornshoot where they have to act to save their careers. They're both surprised but have to stay in character.

Bonus points if you make them kiss passionately and really getting into it for the sake of their Job. There's something so lame about them just giving into incest, they gotta enjoy it and hate it.

There's something so attractive about the idea of a sister just doing her Job by fucking her brother and using her natural body to rock his world.

Also, Parents bribing their own Daughter to fuck their own incel son would be interesting.

Perfect story pitches

"The Dangerous Game"

Brother and Sister discover a game contest that if he can hold his nut and beat the timer, he and his sister win something, but he has to risk it all without a condom or birth control.

"Sister Steps in for Girlfriend"

Girlfriend is sick with a headache and hasn't been able to help. She's really great friends with her boyfriend's Sister and pleads with her to simply do her the solid and step in for her.

"Brother and sister cosplay pornstars"

One of the very best I've ever read!

Nice job. Can't wait for next chapter

Wonderful story! The way you set up the theme in that beginning paragraph was perfect. The sweat and sand--loved that.

The sex beats were expected, but your imagery really made them feel alive, especially that part where she had moisture drip from her mound onto his neck--that really got me. Perfect and original metaphors to set the mood. It genuinely read like two siblings sneaking around, which is actually kind of rare for I/T where it's normally just a loose premise.

I know they said they felt lonely and that they loved each other, I never got the sense that that was their real motivation--which you also hit on when she said she was just giving herself excuses. It felt like pure desire at its core, little true intimacy. The situation was certainly believable, but I can't say I felt much attachment to the characters. I don't have much of a sense who they are. Felt like peeking in a window at some strangers having some hot and quite sweaty sex.

About the only real critiques I can think of is that repeated "Firework" callback felt trite, and the dialogue flirted with porn talk.

And for future stories, I'm hoping it explores whether the pair's relationship at its core is just as superficial as their relationships with all their friends. And what it means to go beyond sex.

Sis is saying that her friends are leaving them behind, as if it's something that her friends are doing to her, but she's not putting any effort into her life in order to stay in theirs. (I'd assume brother's the same way.) Seems like this would be something to explore in her and her brother's relationship, as apathetic as they both sound.

Great job! Hope you continue.