Sweet as Sugar Ch. 01

"Really?" I gave her a quirky look wondering what she was meaning. My buzz was settling in, which enhanced the feeling that I was already having. I felt warm and fuzzy inside. There was a rush of euphoria. This was some really good shit that we were smoking and my tolerance was low. I think after passing the blunt back and forth a couple of times that we realized that we had had enough. I really didn't want to get mind-blasted and I don't think Ash wanted to either. With the blunt about halfway gone, she tucked it back into her little cigarette case from whence it came. After tucking the cigarette case into her coat pocket, she moved into me face-to-face and caressed my jawline, leaning in to kiss me. I tasted her lips completely as she met me with unabandoned devotion. The passionate kisses lingered as we consummated our need for one another.

Embracing her voluptuous body, I nuzzled my way to her ear as the feelings washed over me. I couldn't help whispering, "Are we gonna fuck tonight?" She shuddered against me as I hugged her close and stroked her lower back down to the soft globes of her ass. The anticipation of what could happen was overwhelming me. We stood for a few more moments wrapped together in bliss. The feeling of her loveliness had my arousal roaring once again. I could feel the swell of her full bosom and I knew that she could feel the familiar sensation of my hard cock pulsing into her womb.

No words were spoken or necessary. We held hands tight as the moment made me address reality, "We better get back inside before they come looking for us."

As we prepared to enter the fence to the backyard, Ash reached into the pocket of her coat and pulled out some cinnamon Altoids, "Here, I learned from the best."

Needing to know I asked, "Ash, you alright? You aren't too high are you."

"No, I'm fine." Then she smiled the knowing smile as we proceeded inside the gate.

As we re-entered the pool area and walked towards the downstairs entrance, we had to mingle and make small talk with a few of the partygoers who were apparently also seeking some air. I was amazed at how Ashley had gracefully turned into such a mature creature. When we were young, she would have been clinging to my side as I made small talk, but she was the one initiating the conversations.

It was well past 9:30pm when we re-entered the house where the sights and sounds of the party were at full throttle. As I approached the bar, Joe asked me to go get some more items to restock the bar. I headed upstairs to the kitchen to retrieve booze and ice. After a couple more trips and substituting as bartender so Joe could have a break, I was again free to enjoy the reverie. Of course, I observed that the people were letting go yet again on this New Year's Eve.

It didn't take long to notice Mom in conversation with Ashley and I harkened back to a New Year's long ago. Color me curious as I approached hoping all was well between those two. "Hey. What's going on with you two? You two look a little too serious."

"We were just talking." Mom answered passively.

Ashley looked at me squarely, "I was telling her that I was going to find a place," Ashley had been living at my grandparent's place since she had moved back. I don't know what had caused it, but she was letting my mother know, for some reason, that she wanted to be out on her own.

I smiled at my mother, "Well, she is an adult Mama."

My mother gave me a serious look. "Fine by me. I learned not to get involved in your lives long ago." She didn't really mean that as she pranced off and back over to the bar to hang with Joe. I wondered why Ash had brought up such an issue at this time. I wondered what role my mother had played in this issue being discussed. I hoped it wasn't one of her motherly intuitions? I turned my attention towards Ashley asking, "Why did that come up?"

"Well, when you went upstairs, she came over and asked where I had been. I told her that we had been outside looking at the telescope. It made me nervous like the old days and I guess that caused me to respond the way I did."

"I guess that's understandable. You probably do need some independence if you are going to live around here," and I was being serious about that. No 32-year-old woman is going to want to live with her mother and grandparents forever.

I did wonder what my mother was thinking, but at my age and in this station of life I really didn't have to care because it really didn't matter. I was going to do what I was going to do. After everything that had happened through the years, she certainly wasn't going to deeply meddle in our lives. Those days were over long ago.

After settling the situation with Ash and Mama in my mind, I wondered what was going on with my wife. I hadn't seen her in a while and she definitely wasn't by my side this evening. I milled around making small talk with the guests but was trying to figure out where she was. It was a little past 10pm when I finally found her in the kitchen straightening up and putting some dishes in the dishwasher. So I walked up to her, gave her a hug and asked, "Sugar, is everything alright? I haven't seen you downstairs in a while."

There was a tiredness in her eyes as she answered, "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just super tired. I've had a lot on my plate lately and it's getting to me." Her speech pattern was a little slow as if she were truly exhausted.

"I'm sorry you aren't feeling well." I felt guilty for not paying more attention. She could be really frail sometimes.

"I'm probably going to check out here in a little while. I'm going downstairs to say my goodnights. Could we dance one dance?" I held her delicate body in my arms. "Of course," I answered knowing that I did truly love her as she took my hand and led the way to the basement.

We made our way down the stairs for our customary New Year's Eve dance. We usually did this closer to midnight, but this was different. I'm sure that you understand that these dances aren't for men. It is a way of being romantic with the ladies. Long ago my mother was the one who was responsible for setting up the music and a place to dance for these parties. We men are just along for the ride. The music was already playing the familiar 70s and 80s tunes my mother had always enjoyed.

We began our close dance without words as Jill positioned her head to my shoulder. We slowly rocked together to Fleetwood Mac's 'Dreams.'

She looked deep into my eyes. "I'm glad Ashley's back. I understand how close you two are. I don't think anyone understands that more than me." There was no hint of jealousy in her assertion. The statement had the quality of an affirmation. She was saying that it was alright.

Jill moved up to embrace me closer, while stroking the scalp on the back of my head and muttering softly, "I know I'm going to miss that midnight kiss." She leaned in and took my lips and I complied. "Happy New Year Baby," she crooned as she pulled back.

There was always a warmth to her personality and her lips always were sweet as sugar. That is why I loved her and accepted her as my wife. She was truly special and easy to deal with. "Happy New Year to you too Sugar."

The song changed as we continued on the small makeshift dance area, which never had more than a few couples dancing at a time. Right now we were by ourselves. It was late and the slow-moving BeeGees tune "I just wanna be your everything" flowed lovingly through the room. It was just nice and mellow as we eased through the moment together.

"I really love you, Jim," Jill confirmed as she snuggled up into me, while Barry Gibb crooned away through the surrounding speakers as if he were really present. We didn't have many chances to dance through the years, because of the circumstances of our lives. We always had busy schedules. We were the typical up and coming family. I felt somewhat guilty about all of the circumstances, I couldn't help but hearken back to New Year's Eves of the past and my sister. Those moments weren't as sharp in my mind as the used to be, but they were still there and Ash's presence made them even more real.

While I was lost in my daydream, Jill maneuvered my arms around her waist until we had formed a tight bond against one another. She continued resting her head against my chest as we slowly swayed to another melody 'Hopelessly devoted to you'. Her firm chest pressed against my own as her arms drifted lightly up my sides until they found a resting place around my neck. My own hands slowly traveled down to the small of her back. I'd have to admit that when I could focus on just Jill, I knew that she was a woman that no man wouldn't desire. She was a wonderful lady.

Slowly, she turned her head to look into my eyes, with our faces just inches apart, I stared into the look of love. She leaned forward and took my lips, as we continued swaying to Olivia Newton John's siren song.

Not long after the brief kiss, the number ended and Jill offered, "Happy New Year Darling."

I complied in my casual tone, "Happy New Year."

There was a resigned and sullen tone as she took my hand and pulled me, "Let's go tell everyone goodnight." I could see that she didn't have a whole lot of energy in her mannerisms as she gave a quirky smirk, "OK... I need to go tell everyone goodnight."

Slowly, but surely, we made the rounds where Jill essentially was telling everyone goodnight. Big told me that he and Gramms were ready to head home. I had already made arrangements for the Limo they had arrived in to come back and pick them up around 11pm at the latest, so the driver was sitting outside waiting. I called and let him know that they were ready. The driver would come back and take Mom and Joe home after midnight. Ashley joined Jill and I as we walked Big and Gramms to the Limo. We all did our customary hugs and kisses before they headed off.

As we re-entered the house, Jill hugged Ash and looked between us both, "I'm going to head on up to bed," she gave a little wink to Ash and chuckled, "He's all yours Sissy." She then gave me a hug and a peck on the lips, "Happy New Year Honey."

I crinkled my brow wondering what that was all about as Jill headed upstairs. Ash turned to me almost whispering, "Let's go smoke a little weed." She grabbed her jacket from the family's coat stand and tossed me mine.

As we headed out back, I recognized where Ash got "it" from -- my mother -- because they carried themselves in the exact same manner. As we made our way to the back yard, I asked, "What was Jill getting at? "He's all yours." Ash just shrugged her shoulders.

Once again Ash, looking like a connoisseur of weed, fired it up. She took a nice draw before passing it to me. We both shared the blunt a few times before my buzz had me volunteering, "You know I missed not having you around all of those years. I love Jill. but there is always a but," a tear rolled from my eye. "You know you were always my soulmate."

"I know Jimmy... I know," she came forward and took my lips. In all of our years, she had never been the one to initiate the kisses. This all seemed so different.

After the short kiss, I volunteered, "I do feel guilty for loving you."

"I've always felt guilty for loving you Jimmy," she twerked her head. "It cost me my marriage." I nodded in a knowing manner. I wanted Ash, but I certainly didn't want to throw away my marriage. We finished off the smoke and headed back inside just as we had done earlier.

With Jill upstairs and the grandparents headed home, I tended the bar again while Joe danced with Mom. They got along better as boyfriend and girlfriend than they ever had as husband and wife. When they were married, it was like they just went through the motions, but now they truly enjoyed and respected one another.

They were always going places together, but they also had space when they needed it. It had been that way for over a decade, but they told me a long time ago that they were never going to be husband and wife again. Mom looked over and smiled at me a couple of times as she sashayed and shimmied to a couple of old disco classics we heard every year. She still looked great for a woman approaching her mid-fifties.

I mixed and sipped a Bourbon and Ginger that warmed me up inside as I drank it. Checking the clock, I noticed it had made its way well past 11pm. It would be midnight soon.

When they were through dancing, Joe came over and told me that my mother wanted to dance. He said he was going to start preparing the champagne.

I headed over to Mom asking, "You'd like a dance?"

She smiled, "Yeah, I like to dance with my favorite man every now and then." She put her hands out in front of her and made this little motion before moving and shimmying her body in time with the song 'Rapture' by Blondie. The woman knew how to dance exotically. She snapped her fingers to the tempo of the tune. To be honest, I always just went through the perfunctory moves on the dance floor. I really didn't have a clue what I was doing. 'Rapture' melted into the song 'Heart of Glass' also by Blondie and the beat went on.

My mother still had a way about her. She could still be sexy, but I no longer lost my cool and didn't have the interest I had years earlier. I'm sure she could have pulled it out of me, but I didn't really want to go there. She looked really nice in her black cocktail dress. I knew that Joe would be enjoying her once they got to his townhouse later on and I couldn't be more happy for the guy.

It was ironic when the next song was 'Drive' by the Cars. The slow tune had Mama moving in close. I think my mother had the same thoughts I did as we reminisced in our silent minds. Mama had helped me to grow up by her deeds. They were hard, but it toughened me up and we had both been what one another needed in those moments of time. As we danced I could feel the sweetness of the special love of a mother and son. We had a tight bond that could never be broken.

She gave a telling look into my eyes as her lips parsed, "New Year's is such a special time. Like they say, out with the old and in with the new."

"I remember you saying that before a long time ago," recalling that time long past.

"I appreciate you becoming who you are. The man of the family. The man we all needed," she hugged me very close and kissed my cheek.

"I appreciate your appreciation. You do mean the world to me." In this moment I was satisfied with all that our lives had been -- the good and the bad. The past sometimes felt like a dream. It was so long ago, so surreal, almost like another life.

I was nervous but confident as we swayed to the song. No words were necessary'6 as she just grinned and I saw the smile in her eyes. She was happy and satisfied in this moment. This would be our last dance of the evening. It was now past 11:30pm and midnight was fast approaching. It was good to be around family and friends as the party built to its climax. The tune finished and Mom and I released one another, "I enjoyed the dance Mom. I think I'm going to go get some air if that's alright with you."

She smiled and nodded. She was the speechless one on this night. The good buzz I had kicked in by the whiskey and weed enhanced the events of the evening. We made our way back over to the bar where Joe had 10 bottles of Korbel champagne stashed in an ice chest behind the bar. He already had plastic champagne flutes lined up in the bar and he'd be filling them before long.

I was sipping a Bourbon and Ginger looking around the room for Ashley but only caught my Mom's eyes taking a long sip off of her Chardonnay as she gave me a wink. Sometimes I felt like she could read my mind, but I always hoped that she couldn't.

A couple of minutes later, I think I eased my mother's mind when I let her know, "I'm going to go check on Jill. I'll be back in a few."

I slipped away and headed upstairs. In my mind, I wanted to find Ashley, but as a husband, I needed to check on my wife. I headed through the kitchen and then to the upper level of the house. In the upper level, I opened the door to the Master bedroom and sure enough, Jill was asleep. I approached where she was under the covers on her side in her PJs. She was breathing normally and didn't make a move as I gave her New Year's kiss on her forehead and cheek. I prayed for her to have a good night's rest and then I stealthily headed back out the door.

As I exited I saw Ashley pulling the door shut to the guest room. "I was wondering where you were at," I spoke in a low tone as we approached one another."

She gave me a bit of a blank gaze, letting me know, "Just freshening up... You checking on Jill?" I nodded as she took my hand to lead us downstairs where it was only a few minutes until midnight. As we got to the foyer, we instinctually knew that we needed to unclasp our hands for appearance's sake.

We entered the basement and the great room together, where Mom approached offering, "It's almost Midnight... 10 minutes," as she hugged Ash and before flittering back over to the bar where Joe and a couple of her longtime friends were hanging.

Joe came over and asked Ashley and me to help pass out the champagne There were still over 30 people that remained to greet the New Year. A few minutes before midnight, Joe turned up the volume on the television for the New Year's Rockin Eve program. As we stood together around the television, there was a loud murmur amongst our guests. More people crowded around until there was hardly any room to maneuver. It all felt so familiar.

At 1 minute 'til, the television host announced that the ball was beginning its descent. You could see the commotion and that familiar reverie in New York as the crowd built to pandemonium... "50... 30... 20... 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" everyone shouted and the kisses and hugs began. Ash and Mama took turns kissing my cheek and hugging me hard. Ashley's big hug and nice kiss on the cheek were the best that could be offered in this moment with the crowd of familiar faces that surrounded us.

Mom had already given Joe a pleasant peck on his lips. As I watched them kiss, I understood the nature of their relationship. Everybody needs somebody. When I was younger, I didn't understand the need for the mutual respect that sustained such relationships. At a point, they had lost that and it caused their marriage to dissolve, but now their interactions were self-evident. They loved one another in a totally mature way. I think that is what Jill and my relationship had evolved into.

It wasn't long after midnight that the celebration began to wind down. At least half the people were gone 20 minutes after the clock had struck midnight. I had to go upstairs and retrieve coats and walk people out to their cars. We were vigilant in making sure that no one that was drunk left the house driving. Thankfully everyone had designated drivers, carpooled, or made other arrangements. After 12:30am, the others slowly straggled out until only a handful of people were left.

By 1am everyone had cleared out. Joe and Mom said they would help clean up, but I told them not to worry, that I would start working on it in the morning. Luckily, most of the mess was confined to the basement. I called the Limo driver and told him that Mama and Joe were ready and along with Ashley, we walked them out to the car.

After seeing those two off, Ashley and I re-entered the house and made our way back to the basement. She seemed a little distant and I couldn't tell if it was because she was high or if she was just thinking.

She excused herself to the bathroom and I couldn't help cleaning up the room a little.

As she emerged from the bathroom, she swayed over to the bar and poured herself a flute of champagne and then another I presumed was for me. "Will you join me for a toast Jimmy," she asked.