Sweet Surrender Ch. 03

"He doesn't excite me in that way," I admitted, hedging the fact that he didn't excite me at all. "I don't guess that anyone ever really has, though I guess I must have a submissive streak in me. At least when it comes to someone like you."

"And that submissiveness and desire to please - is that why you dressed so sexily for me today?" Alexandra asked, though her tone left me with little doubt that she already knew the answer.

I knew that I was getting deeper and deeper into murky waters. I'd arrived at the appointment with the intention of merely meeting the criteria we'd agreed to. I'd promised myself that I would maintain a certain sense of decorum - that I wouldn't allow things to go too far. Yet there I was, with wet panties clinging to my engorged labia, as I engaged in a discussion that seemed to be leading me into areas that I knew were a danger to my marriage. Had the prior night taught me nothing when it came to Alexandra?

But this is just a discussion between two consenting adults. It doesn't have to go any further than that. There's no harm in the two of us discussing the subject of why last night happened, provided I keep my libido in check.

"You're right, I did," I admitted, tossing my hands into the air. "I know that I said that I wouldn't, but when it came time to get ready, I was struck with the need... the desire to see the look on your face when I showed up at your front door wearing a sexy outfit, just like you'd requested."

I stared across at Alexandra as she studied me, her countenance an enigma. I waited for her to respond, practically holding my breath as I did. For some reason, I had the feeling that whatever she was about to say could profoundly affect how I saw our relationship going forward - beyond the end of that session and the other two I'd agreed to.

"Sometimes we encounter people in our lives that we connect with on an almost quantum level," she finally said. "It's rare, but sometimes two people just have undeniable chemistry. In other words, they're the yin to your yang. And when that happens, we can sometimes find ourselves drawn to that person regardless of their sex. For example, you see yourself as being straight but found yourself attracted to me right away. You even experienced a climax with me despite never having had that happen with any of your previous lovers. Does this mean you're gay? No. It certainly means you're not straight, but that doesn't mean much. In my field, the gay-straight spectrum is practically a relic. Honestly, for those people fortunate enough to live in times and places that are less sexually repressive, it can actually be more confounding than illuminating."

I thought about what she was saying, and it made sense. There was a logic behind her explanation that seemed to fit what had happened between us.

"Of course, there's also the possibility that you have bisexual tendencies outright," Alexandra added. "But that's a question only you can answer yourself." She scribbled something else on her notepad. "What is clear is that you feel the desire to be submissive to me, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's actually quite common for one partner to take a more aggressive and dominant role in a couple's sex life. Perhaps you sense an appetite that has been missing from your life through me."

I thought about her last words and couldn't dispute them. Flashes of my dreams from the night before blinked through my consciousness: images of me kneeling before Alexandra as she towered over me, thoughts of her binding my limbs and spanking my bottom, edging me until I was ready to lose my mind. I really knew nothing of that strange world but couldn't deny that thoughts of having her take dominion over me were sexually appealing.

"Really?" I asked, trying to sound coy. "Isn't that kind of kinky?"

"As long as it's between two consenting adults and brings pleasure to them both, then what's wrong with a little kink? All the submissive is doing is ceding control of her body to her dominant for their mutual pleasure. She's not placing herself in danger. There are always agreed-upon boundaries in place. It is the dominant partner's job to push those boundaries - to bend without breaking, let's say - to heighten the pleasure that both partners receive. It's a symbiotic relationship that both parties benefit from."

"And you get off on that?" I asked. "Taking control, I mean." I desperately wanted Alexandra to reveal a little more of herself.

Alexandra smiled back at me, one eyebrow arching as she studied me with purpose. But rather than answer my question, she instead changed the subject. "You said earlier that you've always taken care of your own sexual needs. Are you doing that manually, or with the help of toys?"

I was disappointed and more than a little frustrated by her refusal to answer. I hungered for more salacious fodder for my fantasies, and she was denying me. That didn't sit well with me. I felt a sudden flash of anger. I imagined curtly informing her that my masturbation habits were none of her business. But then I thought of how that might displease her, and that instantly quelled the spike in my emotions.

"Toys, mostly," I replied, "though I do sometimes use my fingers."

I watched as Alexandra made note of my response on her pad before looking over at the crystal-encased clock on her desk. She then closed the notebook before sitting it in her lap and staring across at me with what appeared to be a pleased expression.

"Our time is about up for today, but I'm pleased with the progress we made. I do have some homework for you before tomorrow, though. I want you to open yourself up to the possibility that you could possibly be attracted to other women besides me. Sometimes we put up psychological blockades as we grow up as a result of societal norms and parental pressure. By doing so, we end up denying ourselves our true desires simply because we can't recognize them for what they are. So, as you run your errands today, I want you to make note of the women around you. Now that we've helped open you up to the possibility of same-sex attraction, I will be interested to find out whether your perspective has changed regarding the women around you."

"O... okay," I sputtered as I stood. Alexandra extended her left arm and placed it on the small of my back as she led me toward the door. As we walked through her home, neither of us spoke. I found myself a mess of conflicting emotions as we approached her front door. I was aroused to be so close to her, enjoying the feel of her touch at the small of my back while simultaneously craving to have her hand slide down over my supple bottom. At the same time, I felt a sense of relief at having made it through our first session without once again succumbing to her considerable charisma and charm. That was a definite victory for me because I was hardly a paragon of strength and resolve when it came to Alexandra.

"One last thing," she said, stopping in front of her door and bringing her right hand up to cup beneath my chin. Exerting the tiniest bit of pressure, she lifted until I had no choice but to meet her gaze, those icy blue orbs capturing me at once as she stepped in close to me, our lips only separated by the difference in our height. I had a mental flash of her dipping her head to kiss me and instantly found that I'd never wanted anything more. "Between now and our next session, under no circumstances are you allowed to touch yourself or make use of any of your sex toys." Her tone left little doubt that she was utterly serious.

I managed to nod my head, signaling that I would capitulate to her desires. I barely managed to step back as she made to open the door, instantly missing the close, almost intimate connection I'd had to her body. Caught up in an almost hypnotic type of state, I stepped over the seal to her doorway and found myself waiting out on her front stoop. I turned to say goodbye, but Alexandra uttered one last command before I could form the words.

"And if your husband tries to initiate sex tonight, deny him."

Alexandra abruptly closed the door - practically in my face - leaving me standing there, still stunned and as aroused and sexually frustrated as I'd ever felt in my life.