All Comments on 'SWIB 05.5: Trading Up'

She needs to divorce Daniel.

He’s mentally abusive and cruel. He blamed betty for his actions. She remained faithful but he lost faith in her. The only mistake she made was staying with a man who didn’t care about her feelings, her relationships and her mental well being.

She needs to divorce Daniel.

Good one!

How you came to the conclusion that btb readers would be satisfied by this boggles the mind. Like Betty, you straight up fucking lied.

★

Sorry, not believable. She comes home in a new car and is moving to an apartment. Later is wearing an engagement ring from Mike but has never had sex with him? To twisted of a tale to make any sense.

WTF was this shit? It wa stop confusing to follow!!

Too bad Mike did not go to jail and had to be Bubba play thing.

This was tough to read, but I liked it. Interesting. Not your traditional loving wife story.

WTF was that crap?? Too convoluted.. too rambling to actually enjoy!

Call me slow, but I'm confused. What was his 'underlying reason' that was the whole hold-up? Yes, he was angry, very angry, but he had a right to be. Perfectly understandable- the one he loved was thinking of leaving him for someone with more money. Like the story, but feel like it was building up to something, and never quite got there.

It's early times in the commentaries, since as I type this only 8 comments have posted. QuickMagazine disagrees with nearly all of them. BrentJW's comment brings to my mind a wry remark HDK made recently to the effect that he's amused by readers who know more about the characters than the author who created them. As to mordbrand, I don't think 012Say lied. Indeed, this was a BTB, with the B here being bastard instead of bitch. Where I would differ from the author is his warning (in the preface) to us readers that operating the two SWIB5 stories along the same timeline would prove difficult. My view is that it shouldn't be all that hard to do, as demonstrated by how well 012Say himself did it. This 05.5 traversed similarly deep waters as had 05, and I also admit that I really didn't see the reconciliation coming. It's rare in LW land that a childhood friendship turned romance turned marriage survives (e.g., "My Wife Wants To Date Other Men" by Tncoll, "Friends Forever" by Innasipo). So both surprising and satisfying to see this one make it.

I gave it 4* for a well written narrative with good flow. However, the most pivotal point of the story that sent us off to the rest of the tale was simply unbelievable. I just couldn't buy in that her husband would have reacted the way you depicted. 4*

Sorry but that was kinda all over the place. I’m wondering if English is your first language? You have some good story ideas, please keep trying.

Not up to standard. Made no sense.

There was a huge gap early on when she got the job and then somehow said Mike or he never stops. It was later revealed about Mike going after her.

As others pointed out, there was no sex? Nothing at all? Come on.

Believing Betty never fucked the guy ranges somewhere in the probability of me winning the lottery last night. You really need to let this series or whatever it is go.

About the only thing more unbelievable than this story is Whackdoodle's comment. And this story is way beyond the realm of believability.

I kinda agree with others, seems you tried very hard to complicate the story like a murder mystery but it was good so I still gave it 5 BIG FAT STARS!

She chose the other man over her husband repeatedly. When told to get out, she could have gone to her parents instead of the mistress apartment.

If sh actually loved her husband, she would have told him that she was being hit on. She would have filed a complaint for harassment. She would have quit her job if the complaint wasn’t successful.

Every single time that she had a choice, she chose against him. What fool would go crawling back to s woman like that?!?

Also, do women not have any agency? The other woman, the therapists, his friends, and his family, all push to reconcile because she was confused. What, is she 10 years old? Who wants to be married to a child?!?

ZK

The husband needs to kick Betty to the curb and find a wife interested in him not money.

She was a married woman, and she carried on an emotional affair with another man. She was seriously contemplating adultery. She accepted a car and an apartment from her would-be lover. Her husband’s fury was entirely justified. She should have been begging forgiveness, but instead expected her husband to “fight for her.” All the rest of this story, morally speaking, is obfuscation.

This story piece was okay, but certainly not as interesting as the first piece. The story line was nowhere near as compelling. The writing remains fairly strong…it’s the plotting that I found to be weak. And speaking of writing, just a couple of items. When speaking of choosing directions, people often use the sailing term “tack,” so “taking a different tack” (not tact). When you’re describing a negative emotional state (feeling), then you’re feeling bad. When you’re doing something, but not doing it well, you’re doing it badly. So, “feeling badly” means that you’re trying to feel…and not doing a very good job of it, 😉

Nice work.

I could the reconciliation.

But I do think there was already an emotional affair.

All those talk to bring Betty's defenses did not occur for a few minutes only.

It took lots of days and hours. Her mistake was she was giving him time.

The culmination was she was taken by his promises, financial security, love (or sex).

And she did had the decision to trade up though she did hesitate.

But I was not amendable she still dated Mike while the divorce is still going.

That meant she had one foot on Mike and another foot, back-up plan B, on hubby.

Because if she wasn't having feelings for Mike at one instant, she could have dropped everything, the car, apartment, clothes and went and talk with Dan. That would have been more convincing to Dan about her love for him than this playing footsy on Mike and Dan.

Certainly better than 5.

His projects were back on track and people wanted to work with him because he got past his anger. Why go back to the source of the anger?

Painful to read. When people stop talking, it's over by default. If there's a .000001% chance that there's a chance, even that's gone. History, catastrophe and misery are full of cases when people shut down, stopped talking and just reacted. Yes, decisive action is always required, but first, follow the loop: orient... decide.... act. Part of orienting is evaluating, and without information, you cannot.

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As far as the writing, this felt chaotic. It was like watching a scene through the openings in a picket fence as you drive along. Too much "telling" and not enough "showing" - I'm a very visual reader, as are most of us when it comes to fiction. 3/5.

Another predator boss walks away without any punishment on LW. For arthors who love justice these guys never get their legal punishments.

"No! The man who broke you up was you. That's why I called." This is beginning of the bogus blame spreading in the story that is a tired trope for forcing a RAAC. IRL, no one would ever trust a "Betty". The behavior itself is not only unacceptable, but it indicates deep psychological problems that no man would want to live with. Those problems would become especially worrisome if there were children.

Fascinating story with likeable characters--if you believe any of them. I like your communication style and the dialogue between characters is simple and direct like many of us strive for in real life.

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Unlike many readers, I find stories to be realistic if the primary characters act inconsistently, so long as their behavior is based on feelings that change during the course of the narrative. When feelings change, so does behavior; when commitment is broken, feelings ALWAYS change.

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But I'm with Frank: you set us up for the big reveal and then understated it, if you revealed it at all. If Anger was the secondary emotion, but it consumed him, what was the primary emotion that he somehow magically dealt with--alone--at the last possible moment to prevent his divorce and unknowingly preserve her innocence?

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BTW, even if Dan buys her "I was faithful" line, he is still secondhand goods. Betty was willing to trade up until she learned that "up" wasn't guaranteed. But even as she traded in beautiful for glamorous, she kept the name "Betty" instead of something more pretentious, so maybe she is still the girl next door.

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@Whackdoodle: Geez, I get it that everyone has their own opinion. But it seems like your frequent "first comment posted" is almost intended to set a very low bar for the rest of us. Maybe exercise some balanced thought before hitting "Post". ( Just a concept I'm exploring personally.) Anyway, Anger is not synonymous with Abuse. It can devolve into it, like may have happened to his employees (we're not given enough evidence) but there is a huge distinction.

lazy, just finish the story

"Thank you, officer. Of course. I had better not say anything for a bit. I might have information which is important and want to make sure I am answering what you need to know. I am going to hang up now." She did.

Epilogue

This is felt like the twilight zone.. He got bullied into taking her back. Sorry but she could've just say no thanks starting from the beginning if she actually loved him. What she did was wrong and yes she did cheat

Not well written. Rambling. Maybe you were trying to channel Dan's state of mind. But it was still bullsh1t.

WTF kind of RAAC did I just read ?

I agree with the Anon who wrote "Every single time that she had a choice, she chose against him. What fool would go crawling back to s woman like that?!?"

I understand that he blamed all his problems on his anger, but I don't see it as a very good story and it was too complex to make the readers really sympathize with it.

Good story. In the end, she admitted she was a whore negotiating a price. Then, she had an epiphany. But by then she had alienated her unsuspecting husband who did what any real man would do and threw her out. Then, it was looking out for her own ass. Then, hubby is convinced by others all is well and takes her back. Not a likeable story but a good one that ended the best way possible.

She tells him she may be interested in someone else and HE IS THE ONE that has to go back.to say I'm sorry. Are you f****** kidding me. Throw that psychotic bitch to the street.

Oh goodness gracious, ain't love just grand? Especially the 'happily-ever- after' kind. Sheeesh BS on BS. LP

Yeah this whole "we both were wrong" thing is utter bullshit. She was moving out away from her lawful husband to a place paid for by another man, a man she readily admitted was trying to bed her for quite some time. She cannot be trusted and he needs to get away from her.

That must be the excuse some women use for appearing in pornographic videos, or becoming prostitutes: All That Money. So she was really really high priced, but still a potential prostitute. If it had been a Lamborghini, and a penthouse condo in her name? Absolutely fucksville. Funny how all the confusion would have disappeared. Adultery is not about the opportunity or the seducing asshole, its about the woman's character, virtue, morals, and self respect. A decent woman would have slapped Mike's dick into the dirt and walked out at the first smell of seduction. The money? THE MONEY? Whoever believes that must spend a lot of time agonizing about opportunities to steal, defraud, embezzle, short change a customer. Honest people aren't honest because they are afraid of getting caught, or its just not enough money to risk it. Its ALL about personal integrity. Betty had taken vows, pledged her faithfulness and commitment. But, but, All That Money!? How much is your soul worth?

You have to hope they live happily ever after. But God help him if a Truly rich man ever sets his sights on her. Thanks for the effort.

This was a nice follow up to SWIB 5, glad mike got what was coming to him, and who doesn’t like a happy ending once in a while. Ignore the BTBers, the wife doesn’t need to become destitute, get put in jail, or die, in every loving wives story.

Thanks for your effort. KS

Good but all hummm. up and angry.

You don't show up with a new car, keys to a new apartment and your bags packed unless you have already been having an emotional affair.

She may have claimed confusion but she definitely betrayed her husband. One doesn't get confused about whether to leave your husband for another man. If you are considering it then that is the betrayal and disrepect and deserving of anger and sadness. She had already accepted the gifts, she shouldn't have expected him to be reasonable and listen to her supposed reasoning. Totally BS.

Her father was totally out of line and she should have been coming back begging for forgivenness for what she had done and considered doing.

I also strongly doubt there had been no sexual intimacy.

Like it, but it could have been much better.

One anonymous comment - I understand that he blamed all his problems on his anger, but I don't see it as a very good story and it was too complex to make the readers really sympathize with it.

Thank you for the comment, it is helpful.

Other comments on whether you liked the story or not, or how it should have gone are fine - not helpful, but they are not required to be helpful. I am still of the mind when you think an author's story goes awry, from what you think - write the story you think should have been written. I'd enjoy reading it.

I think it was a little too confusing with all the anger. Good beginning, good ending, confusing middle. Average.

Reads better than 5, in no small part due to Mike getting his, I guess. His demise was so comical that it felt almost completely like a crowd-pleaser, which isn't a bad thing. Not buying the whole 'both sides' argument the story's trying to push, though. Only reason it isn't as much of a problem is Betty's course of action (both the initial decision, and the subsequent reversal) generally feels pretty bizarre, so for some reason, I end up filing it away as a flaw of the story, and not entirely of her character.

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Under those circumstances (and of course, they didn't do the dirty, much to Mike's frustration, which always helps), they might as well get back together and spare everybody else the drama.

So, she is packing to leave her husband to decide whether she wants him or her slimy boss, and HE'S the bad guy for not wanting to hear her bullshit excuses??? Even if she changed her mind at the last minute, even considering leaving him for her boss is proof positive she neither loves nor respects her husband. He was a fool for taking returning to a woman who has so little regard for him.

Hard to follow in places.

I think that 12 say, shouldn’t quit the day job. one star...

"Having all that money thrown towards you is hard to say no to." Easy fix get proof of the harassment and tell him stop or I'll sue your dick into the dirt. So you get to have your husband plus either the job you like (which wasn't really a job just a way to keep her close to him) or a buttload of money.

⭐⭐⭐ 👎🏿 Even fiction needs a core of reality. (Reality in the context of this Fictional story.) Reality is that a GOOD wife would have told her husband AND gone to HR. Quit the job, file a lawsuit, if necessary. Reality is she WAS receptive. Reality is she accepted several gifts from her boss (NOT appropriate), eventually driving home in a gift CAR to pack and move into a gift APARTMENT. Reality is she had the suitcases out. Reality is that she would have been gone if the husband returned later. ("She was confused.") The husband was stupid. She makes more money than him. Her boss seduced her into a "love nest". No kids. Divorce and sue for everything. Laugh when Asshole dumps her. This was a disappointing end. This way, the next Asshole just needs a better salespitch to close the deal. Revenge At All Costs. RAAC!

Ok. Why in the hell, would you want someone back, who was willing to dump you to trade up? What possibly makes you think, bringing a child into this relationship, would not end badly? The entire group must be abusing Fentanyl. Never would have went down like this- one star.

The fact that the wife was getting ready to walk out on him, proved two things-

#1. She was not in love with her husband, or at least was bored with him. Good looking, married women get hit on all the time, and although some enjoy the attention, most are able to deflect it. In reality, most likely wifey confides in all of this to her husband, and she files a sexual harassment claim with HR. The other thing women are good at, is the bullshit detecter. Wifey would have realized, and it was actually acknowledged by her in the story, that bossman was only after a piece of pussy. Wifey would NOT have looked at that, as a complement.

#2. What man, in his right mind, would fight for a woman he was married to, that was going to run off, to become her married bosses whore? If her feelings and loyalty almost allowed her to destroy her husband, what on earth makes you think, it wouldn't happen again? This wasn’t a mistake, where a snake of a salesman convinced her to buy heated leather seats in her new car, when she lives in Arizona( yes, have seen it) This was willingly throwing away your wedding vows, and crushing your soul mate, for $$$$. If it happened once, it will happen again. She CANNOT be trusted. Divorce her, and she can go get a job at the bunny ranch in Nevada, and get paid to fuck. Maybe her gold digger ass can find a Millionaire high roller, who is lookin for a side piece.

Maybe the stupidest story I've ever read on this site. No, that's an exaggeration. Bottom ten, though. She's a freaking employee and harassment in the workplace is a crime, especially like what he was doing. Then, MC turns into this cartoon character that reacts with the emotional maturity of the toddler. Can't listen, but then the lead female character is a mindless drone, more akin to a coked out crackhead than an actual woman with a moral dilemma. Dumb. dumb, dumb.

Well, that was pathetic.

Hopefully a better player than Mike doesn't come along.

interesting. Mike and Anne deserve each other or another emotionless person

I liked the two stories and I like your style in general. 5 stars and thanks for your writing!

Meh. I do not like raac stories where the betrayed spouse is considered wrong for being human and dealing with severe emotional trauma on their timetable. To me it is lame. Look everyone messes up yes I get that. And being remorseful for wrongdoing is a step towards self-improvement but getting angry at someone because they can't get past that wrongdoing is selfish at best and extremely narrisicitic at best.

Nice way to blame him for her decision to leave him.

Great thanks to RNG. She let him win the battle before marriage and lose the one after.

The simpery was painful.

This could be a great story, just poorly put together. Confusing. Needs better editing.

In this world, a man has a "good" relationship with a father who immediately believes second hand accusations against his son. It just gets worse from there. SMH.

"Fate did keep her from going and I refused to see the significance of that"

Because there was no significance to find. And this story never presented any proof of significance.

I like this one. I think it really highlights the mentality some people have about infidelity. For most of us, I think it's a sliding scale, for people who read these stories frequently, I think it's a binary. That's a shame, because sometimes wonderful nuance like the one presented in this story get lost when you refuse to see all the angles. Absolutely Dan's initial anger and refusal to engage with Betty were not only real, but entirely valid. I don't think it was wrong of him at all, Betty had more or less intended to venture out of her marriage, maybe not entirely and into the arms of Mike, but she was heading in that direction. His feelings of betrayal were totally valid. However, where he screwed up is that he refused to reconcile the fact that while Betty was engaged in an emotional type affair with Mike that she also adamantly wanted NOT to be in that position. She said it herself - as humiliating as it was, eventually Mike kept wearing her down until he finally started to find an offer that tempted her. Honestly, this is pretty normal and one of the reasons why we typically forbid relationships between superiors and subordinates (and some times even make it illegal). The coercive power in these types of dynamics is too powerful and ripe for abuse. It's also typical of these types of emotional affairs that the person engaging in them, doesn't realize it until it's far too late and they are compromised too much. There's this great book by Shirley Glass called "Not just Friends" that I think anyone interested in this subject matter should read, and definitely Betty should have, because it would have kept her from being in the situation she found herself in. To be brutally honest - it's almost terrifying how alot of emotional affairs and general emotional manipulation can be boiled down to a few simple feedback loops. Anyway, I generally thought this was a good and fair treatment of "both sides" of this kind of situation, but I have to admit that I didn't like the ending - I felt the Mike as rapist bit was too on the nose and that Betty, rather than being slightly caging and even "testing Mike" should have probably had a mental break down when Dan approached her to discuss reconciling. Honestly, if I was in her position, with what she knew about Mike from both first hand and second hand experience, she should have felt like she was marching to her death.

What a couple of idiots. First if Betty does not realize the Mike is after her by getting her a high end luxury vehicle and place to live then she is just too stupid to stay married. She should have quit on the spot. Dan is even stupider, he knows Mike is after his wife, his boss says he is invaluable, but does Dan take those skills to find an equally value centric position in a city where Betty can use her degree skills, NO! They stopped trying to see the big picture and were so focused on their own little world they forgot their initial plan. They deserve their angst.

I guess a happy ending is worth a couple of stars. Seems like Dan needed to grow up a bit and get a hold of his anger. Wouldn't have made much of a story if he had stopped to think and listen to Betty and give her a chance to explain, would it? Throw in two more stars and call it good.

Excellent story that didn’t even come close to following all the old tropes. You made it interesting and emotional which kept me glued to my iPad. I thought the addition of the brain damage was a brilliant move to basically take that rapist out of service without having to kill him which might have pushed our hero over the edge. Thanks for supplying a spectacular tale with characters that were easily relatable and brought the emotion fast and hard.

Lexx

Nice tale 5*****

Good story, but I can’t decide whether it’s a reconciliation or just a RAAV.

The slow seduction and going along with it is the rationalization here. Put in a different way. Some abstract psychobabble so the blame shifts to the one who is not having an emotional affair and is in no danger of putting his genitalia in places outside the marriage.

She realized at the last moment the guy wasn't an upgrade after all and her soon to be ex made himself available . Silly guy deserved a life partner that would not go along with the seduction.