All Comments on 'SWIB 05: Trading Up'

Sorry 012Say.

After the Collins marriage disintegrated, I somehow got lost at MC's feeling of lost of meaning in life. Her and Bob's conversations although I think was well-thought off, just veered me into nothingness. The dialogue is something done in a philosophy class not between two people not knowing much about each other. One thing I can get from all this is: from the get-go the MC is a vessel of emptiness. No wonder Dan couldn't stand the crap she was spouting.

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I'd say this story has really no connection with the other SWIB story other than the mention of Dan Collins.

This is not a story. This is thinly veiled propaganda. The person who designed these talking points would probably find a more receptive audience at a Proud Boys meeting.

I thought this was a very well written and introspective story. I am very frustrated that the whole demise of the Collins marriage was brushed over and that Mike never received any retribution for destroying another marriage.

Weird situation - the writing is clearly good, and the story doesn't go through the cliche reactions for all the old chestnuts. But I'm not really feeling anything for these characters, which ended with me feeling pretty ambivalent by the time it was done.

It was a very basic, simple story. Not too convoluted. I enjoyed it so "thank you". Cheers.

Normally not the kind of story I read. However the dialogue was very good and overall I really enjoyed it. 5 stars.

Very interesting and entertaining tale- loved it. A clear 5. Couldn't identify with any of your characters, but no matter, it's good to enter into other peoples' worlds. None seemed quite normal, but were developed nicely. Missed the dry humor found in "Feb Sucks- The Two Notes", but really liked that it was a simpler plot than "Betrayed Husbands".

Politics: you stopped short of some really important points, but you're right in that they're also really inflammatory. Pity.

What happened to Dan--collateral damage?

Seems like she is seeking high moral ground and forgetting her contribution to his destruction

Not sure how you would resolve that but a few lines towards his recovery in some manner would have helped

A five star story.

Oh, say can you see, 012Say gets a QuickMagazine 5. Although the author claims in the post-story note to have presented snapshots without detail, I don't see it that way. Sure, there wasn't a blow by blow, but this dived deep into the substance of their romance, which is way more important than which base was gotten to when, or how. It will be interesting to read 012Say's handling of the Mike/Betty pairing, and of Dan's fate. As to the politics, I read those references as how the author described their purpose in said note. And I think that Bob was careful not to overtly pick a particular party or side in his remarks. Maybe more so than Anne, who may have leaped to a conclusion Bob wasn't coming to. But it's all good. They were building a home.

Just awesome. First kudos on a fairly unique set up plot about 2 people who somehow managed to have a rather weird relationship that finally imploded. Second, kudos for being able to allow us to walk with the wife as she figured out what truly should be important to her…and then giving her (and us) the satisfaction of success.

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Lots of melancholy regarding the failure of the Collins marriage. Betty is in for some real heartache in tne future….too bad there wasn’t a way to get her to understand the false promise of Mike….

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5 *****

Hi 012Say,

You left a dangling part of the story in the guise of Dan. If responsibility is a big thing for Bob, our heroine does not get off so easy after Mike screws things up. Anne knows who her husband is and her behavior of “turning a blind eye” has contributed to where they and Dan are at this point in time. Bob would never think that was OK. So, how to deal with that thread?

The two arguments that Bob uses—concerning abortion and for capitalism could have been easily picked apart By Anne as she is smart. So, instead of a lively interchange of crackling dialogue we get a pedantic set of claims that are… um, boring to read. I was surprised by the “air quotes” surrounding the idea of “rights.” The assertion of “responsibility” as the bedrock principle is fine as long as everyone is rational and well-meaning but as the Founding Ancestors believed, you would be foolish to rely on that alone. The FA were well aware of the concept of the Tyranny of the Majority—the idea that a majority of people could impose their will destructively on the minority. We have plenty of evidence for that from US history. To paraphrase slave owning Thomas Jefferson: “Majority rules; Minority rights,” must be the formula. It is not either/ or. It is AND. Same with Bob’s views on capitalism. Capitalism is cooperative for sure in the way Bob describes and that I am sure Anne approves of. But we also have plenty of evidence that tells us that competition and the desire for profit can work against the common good by privileging short term profit over longer term societal needs. That pesky AND is missing from Bob’s thinking. Now I wouldn’t mind so much— Bob is your character and an accountant to boot. But, and it is a big but, you just had Anne thinking about responsibility and the actions of her husband who is acting like a sociopath and capitalist entrepreneur taking greater and greater risks. You paint Anne as smart—she could make the connection between the corporation as a legal “person” and the lack of responsibility that “person” can actually show to society—you know, just like regular human type persons (Mike?) can show. And Bob’s comments undermine the direction the story wants to go in. Bob pats Anne on the back ignoring the dark side of Mike—a successful partnership by the way….

I did like their first interaction though—the number of times people have to chat when one is reading … :) ! His lecturing didn’t thrill me so much.

Thank you for your work.

You have presented some very salient thoughts. It seems it is much easier for folks who have already achieved all they could achieve financially to finally realize there is more to life than money. It is while those folks are chasing the pot of gold that it seems most difficult for them to see the rainbow. She was fortunate to meet a man who had taken a step back and realized his most important job was to teach his children how to think for themselves. She was smart enough to understand the difference between her wealth and his. Glad it worked out for them and the kids. I hold little hope that Mike will succeed in shedding his “spots” and become a faithful husband.

I understand your political disclaimer, but I fear the intensity of political angst of today may be so pervasive as to prevent some readers from enjoying your story.

Very well written.

Wow! Now that was different. Thanks for an original, thought-provoking, well-written tale. (But really, “they’re” is not the possessive of “they.”) I look forward to seeing if you can do as well (or better?) in the future.

And, of course, the one person who didn’t deserve anything of what he got, Dan, just got completely screwed and then never considered again.

She should run, this guy is all about control under the guise of looking after his kids.

The story started great. It was new and thought-provoking. But then the story became preachy (with a right-wing bent although I would dislike preachiness regardless of the orientation). The ending was anti-climactic and uninteresting. Finally, a first pregnancy at age 38 may be OK but pregnancy after age 35 increases risks of various problems for the mother and for the child. Authors should consider that issue rather than pretending it does not exist.

Liked the story and the writing- could have done without Bob’s pontificating; it was really unnecessary and took away from a nice pace that the story had.

The old saying goes, "money cannot buy you happiness" may be true but what "money does buy is the opportunity for happiness" providing you have the right values! This impressive story has such wisdom...

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******6, Hooyah, Salutes

Great story. The world needs a lot more men like Bob. I know a man like Bob would object and while I have a lot of Bob's characteristics I also have a more rougher side and I think Mike needs a good beat down or 10. An extended stay in the hospital and rehab would work wonders to his attitude.

Okay idea, poorly executed. The writing was not good.

Crap

The story started out being about the breakup of Betty and Dan’s marriage, and we know that Mike and Betty were a thing (at least temporarily), but we are left hanging with no idea what happened with Dan. Doesn’t his story deserve a resolution?

Very good story, but definitely fiction. Women do NOT date “down”. The successful man will date the waitress, receptionist, secretary, schoolteacher, etc. A successful (wealthy with power and status) woman will NOT date the welder, mechanic, teacher, landscaper, etc. Nor will she date the mid-level accountant at the company where she is THE boss.

You can not make a horse drink but you can make it see how good the water tastes. Eventually the nag will take a sip. She had to want to change.

Interesting story but the only likeable characters were the kids and Dan.

Dan got fucked. Bob seemed completely devoid of emotion.

Anne said about Dan "Maybe a leopard can change its spots; but I'd never heard it really happen. I hoped I was wrong." in a story about her changing HER spots.I believe her, "it will never really happen".

Mike gets off too easy, but that may be the next story...

Started good but got very meh very quickly, the premise was good, the execution less so.

And just an FYI...might want to keep the fact that youre a pseudo-Christian out of your stories. Christofascism isnt anything to be proud of Gomer.

Oops! I did say "they're" friends, instead of their friends. Several want to know about Dan, who tells the story in SWIB 05, Too. We also learn what happens to Mike. I wanted to allude to it in this tale, but it made it too long and too complex. I love the complexity, but readers - not so much. Thanks for your comments. It appears a couple thought I was preaching - the intent was Bob was explaining to Anne; not that I am above preaching, just hopefully not here.

Okay!

4

Mike does need a good strapping. Maybe Dan can manage it. D

The admission is bizarre because the premise is less than false, it is irrelevant. Do you know how many women feel they Love the guy who beats and abuses them? Do you know how many children think they love the parents who beat and abuse them? Do you know how many marriages fail, despite being started with feelings of love? Love and feelings are irrelevant to a successful partnership. Its pretty easy to love someone who has virtue, character, intelligence, honesty, and basic human decency. If you think that is all fine, but that Mr. or Mrs. Right have to have the right size cock or tits as well, then love is not the issue, maturity and substance are. That line was a real fault in your plot and story premise.

And despite all the well constructed characters and story, this is still just a story about two decent people coming to love and respect each other and deciding to attempt a marriage. Let's hope they succeed. Many don't, like the whore who fell for her piece of dog shit ex husband. Interestingly, both women will get what they deserve, feel me?. Thanks for the effort.

Great story - Except, what the hell happened to Dan Collins!!!!!!

You have a whole page about him, then poof he forgotten just like his wife did.

Dan, really needs some thing good in his life, or he could just go postal and shoot the cheaters.

It is good and great to raise your kids so that they have such values as to not make Dumb mistakes early in their adult life. Such as drunk driving or getting pregnant or becoming pregnant before you are married or before you have sufficient income.

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In an ideal world with people raised with the right values and understanding The implications of their choices you don't need Laws about trump driving or laws about abortion We're laws about armed robbery..

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But that's not the real world and it's not even close To reality. There are people that grow up with the right or strong moral values that think Abortion May be a viable option in Circumstances. OR they may also think that abortion is never acceptable.

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But if you don't have that option legally because it has been struck down by the Supreme Court then you have a much more difficult and complex situation

So the moral of the story is, cheaters prosper? Scumbag Mike breaks up a marriage, Anne gets a new husband and Dan gets screwed as his shore ex wife prepares to marry the rich dirtball.

The juxtaposition of the moral transformation for Anne beside the 'who gives a damn' about Dan is disappointing. While Anne may have changed regarding her values, she sure has no qualms regarding her role as enabler in the destruction of Dans marriage.

She remains selfish to her core.

I really enjoyed the story. I “got” the political discussion tact and still thought it was overplayed relative to the story arc. (I generally think along same lines you described, but it is also built on my faith foundation.) your note at the end explained the plot gaps, but I would have preferred more depth, especially her relationship growth with the kids. 5*

Some of you making comments are just as dumb as a fence post.

I had trouble following some of this. Part was uncertainty at times who was speaking. More was due to difficulty understanding some of the dialogue and thoughts of the characters; it wasn’t “did they mean A or B?” but not having a clue. (Sorry not to be clearer than that.)

story a 'nice' guy would write, an incel's fantasy

Dagny Taggart and John Galt fall in love while running/working for Angies List instead of Taggart Transcontinental Railroad.

Bob brags to his emotionless boss over lunch how important his children's education is to him and then never spends any time educating them, Anne is the enabler for her ex-husband who besides being the world's greatest salesman is also the worlds greatest lothario find true love and happiness in the smoking craters of other peoples lives.

Great.

this was a good story to fall asleep to...

What was the point to this? The title should've been something else since it was more in the background than in the actual storyline

I don't necessarily agree with some of the points(not the political ones, mentioned). I wasn't sure where the story was going. There was no vitriol on the wife's part at the husband's actions. That was weird. But the story was interesting and made me think. She was totally out of sync. Bob was strange in his approach to life, but he was level-headed and honest. Priorities. The man had scruples, in spades. I was impressed. The Bear approves. Not my usual cup of tea, but maybe Mike will get his ass cleaned by the ex-husband. 5 stars. May they live long and prosper.

The BEAR

Nice story but ...

Different. In a good way. Props for digging a little deeper. The characters seem a little stiff and two dimensional. But it is only a short story. The first marriage was pretty bizarre, but it did provide a foundation for her to achieve the path to transformation that you wanted to illustrate.

I have said for years that I am responsible for my kids' education. My wife and I choose our excellent local schools for them, but we are the ones ultimately responsible. Same for religion and morality. We go to church, but as parents we are the ones responsible for the values they learn, not the ministers or Sunday school teachers.

Ultimately, this is all about understanding your purpose in life. I fully and wholeheartedly endorse Bob's understanding. It's my own. Happiness follows. It's not a feeling. Not pursuit of pleasure or avoidance of pain. It's the sense of contentment that one has from understanding one's purpose, aligning priorities accordingly, and working to achieving it. Happiness comes from that fulfillment.

Life is hard. Setbacks are many. The good life even requires difficulties. Without them, love would be impossible. Because it is in meeting the needs of others that we love.

M Scott Peck wrote about all of this in his classic bestseller (IIRC, 15 years continuously on the bestseller list) "The Road Less Travelled". I insist that all three of my kids read the first two parts (only 160 pages). It's one of only two books I insist they read. I cannot praise or recommend it too highly.

Love is commitment. It's work. It's effortful. It's not a feeling. In fact, as Peck writes, we can't actually start loving until we 'fall out of love'.

Knoxhard

My taste in writing must be unusual. I am surprised this is not more highly rated. I thought the pace and development of both characters and story were just right. And the lack of explicit detailing of sex was very welcome. I am getting bored with much, but not all, of that in what I am reading in the LW category. Thanks for the uplifting story.

Gave it a, rare from me, 5*. A lot of interesting perspective on marriage, family and life that is rare here. It’s always a thinking experience to read O12say. Thanks!

That is a good story. Maybe great. Some important life lessons in there from Bob. With a solid ending. Don't worry about the political issues. The way you handled this one was outstanding. 70% of the people in this country are like Bob. We just have to take it back from all the special interest turds.

The 3 bad people get rewarded. The cheated on husband gets fucked over without even a "good ending". Sorry but 1 star.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Good story.

the Collins? was she still a collin while engaged to mike? was a nice perspective enjoyed the read

For those concerned that Mike got away with destroying a marriage, I have submitted SWIB 05, Too. I think you'll be pleased.

this crappy story needs a sequel? really?!?

Did not like this one at all.

Mike AND Betty deserved each other. Can't believe she went from that relationship to a supposely loving one. Changing so dramatically but with little expressed emotion.

I read these in reverse order, and doing so affected my perception of the characters: this story makes it clear that there was no fornication between Mike and Betty. The other story clouds that issue. (I'm presuming that when the serial seducer and his cheated on spouse both verify Betty's claims, she should be believed even if she makes no sense.)

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Obviously, she was cheating on Dan emotionally, defrauding him of his place in her heart and accepting expensive gifts from a man trying to bully and buy his way into her panties.

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This installment did seem to bog down into some long-winded discussions. If Anna loved her new man for his accountant's mind and character, it is testimony to how shallow her first husband was.

A lot of great philosophy in your story!

Nicely done.

Not your best. The story gets too bogged down when trying to justify every idea, emotion, reason for being. A BTB would have burned the bastard, and been much more realistic.

I liked the perspective, from the wounded woman’s pov, and how she learns that money isn’t very fulfilling. I’d have to say my perspective has always been closer to Bob’s: Money isn’t a life, it’s what allows us to live our lives, and provide for our people. A career without the right people is empty.

Really nicely done. I wouldn't trust a 12 year old to pick their breakfast so definitely don't want any hard political views in there. Political parties ..one in particular trying to emulate the Jesuits..People who they would generally despise. TC Ireland

Your points were political whether you want to admit that or not.

Enjoyed the read. Thanks for your writing.

The abortion stance was fairly aggressively made, but then they stayed at Trump Tower. Wow. Obviously, MAGA virtue signaling is not intended to be subtle.

I thought it was excellent. The author is a gifted wordsmith and has the ability to draw the reader into the story. I've read all of the SWIB stories and enjoyed them. Impressive.

Just awesome. I loved it and wouldn't change a thing!

Was this related to her now ex husband? If so it's seemingly schizoid; two different realities, divergent and one has to to be delusional. This story us such a non-sequetor as to warrant dismissal.

That said you are a superb writer.

Great introspective story of Anne and her becoming ‘whole.’ 5*****

I do a lot of things backwards, not intentionally, but stuff happens. Like I read the other chapter 5 before I read this one so I know that Mike gets his plow cleaned by Dan. I was thinking there would be more of a tie-in of this story to the other but not disappointed there wasn't. It's nice that Anne finally found what she was missing and got away from Mike.

I enjoyed this the most of the series

Tome this is your best work yet. I could have continued reading this story for many more chapters and because of your talent, I don’t think it would be anything less than it has been and might have even been deeper and more enjoyable. I have many of your stories to look forward to and I can’t wait to get started. Thanks again for this wonderful story.

Lexx