Swirl CFNM

For my entire life, my self esteem, or lack thereof, has been driven by my being thin. I have rarely considered myself desirable to women due to my lack of musculature. Add to that, my nose is not exactly small either. I rarely tanned because I was embarrassed to go without a shirt in public. I avoided swimming in public.

This perception of myself made me terribly shy with women. It was next to impossible for me to ask a woman out. It was usually the women that had to pursue me. I never even looked for signs that women were interested in me because I didn't think it possible.

However, I did manage to have a few relationships in my teens and twenties. It was the woman that were the ones that went out of their way to initiate the relationship. I honestly felt they were interested in me because we were close to each other through church or some other groups we participated in as youth.

On the positive side, I certainly wasn't ugly to look at. I have always looked much younger than I actually am, and, this has certainly come in handy as I have aged. I guess you may say that I have grown more distinguished in my years. I also happen to have a wicked sense of humor and have always kept women laughing. It was the only thing I felt I actually had going for me. Oh yeah, I do happen to have a nine inch cock. But, that's something that I just don't advertise. There have been some women that knew that I was well endowed, but, it never seemed to draw any women my way. At least, that I knew of.

So ,all in all, my relationships through my thirties were initiated by women. Until...

I started working at a pretty large office that was comprised of 90% young black women. My life began to change 180 degrees. I have documented some of this dramatic change in my "Swirl" story line that you can find here on Literotica. I would encourage you to read those excerpts to see how I changed...for the better.

After a year or two, I started realizing, that for some unbelievable reason, black women were actually attracted to me and went out of their way let me know that they were. And, to be honest, looking back over my time there, I missed out on some incredibly beautiful and nice black women because I just couldn't believe that they would actually be interested in this skinny white boy.

But, something changed, when I fully realized that the attraction was genuine. I was shy no longer. I pursued these beautiful women without any hesitation or fear from my self image.

I was free!

I started a friendship with a beautiful young black woman, Daneisha, that changed my life. My friendship with her turned to unrequited love and then back to friendship. Over the years, our relationship has taken some unexpected turns. I finally confessed to her that I had previously loved her and she confessed to me that she had similar feelings around the same time . Neither one of us had acted upon those feeling.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANOUNCEMENT TIME: DON'T HIDE YOUR FEELINGS AND ATTRACTION FOR OTHERS. FAR TOO MUCH OF MY LIFE HAS BEEN STOLEN FROM ME BY SELF DOUBT!

However, our lives were in much different places at that moment. She was in a relationship with the perfect guy. Perfect except for one thing. Intimacy. It was nonexistent. He had some medical issues that had left him without that important drive in his life. Daneisha was on the other end of the spectrum, she was a beautiful black bisexual women. Sex was very important to her. She tried everything to get him to be more intimate, but, to no avail. He encouraged her have sexual relationships with women. But Daneisha only wanted to do that if he was included. She even craved to watch him please another woman. He wasn't interested. Her frustration grew and grew. Our conversations got more and more intense as time went on. There were numerous conversations about our personal lives. There wasn't a lot about our intimate lives that we didn't know about. She knew that I was well endowed and remarked that she had wanted to try a cock that large. After a lot beating around the bush, I asked Daneisha if she would like me to text her a pic of my cock. She quickly said yes.

I had never done anything like that before. I was nervous as hell. I took a shitty picture of my cock and sent it to her, asking for a return pic of her large breasts and pussy. It was like I was back in high school again, wondering what her reaction would be. What would she would think? Would she play with herself looking at my cock? Would she make herself come imagining that it was my cock fucking her? These thoughts and desires gave me an incredible endorphin rush like I had never experienced before. It was incredibly exciting. Skinny me with a beautiful black women making herself come to an image of my cock. That does more than wonders to your self esteem.

And it got better, she sent me a pick of her pussy, wet and creamy right after she made herself come while fixating on my cock. The old me was officially GONE.

I started sending her pics every once in a while. She did the same for me. We progressed a little further by having phone sex. She didn't take long to come once I started talking about fucking her pussy deeply.

I loved knowing that she masturbated about me. Knowing that was an incredible high.

Around this same time, I had a co-worker, Jessica, that reported to me but worked at an office a few states away. She was my go to person for so many things. We became very good friends. We shared a lot about ourselves. When she left the company we remained friends and talked pretty often. We were close enough that I shared with her my ongoing friendship and relationship with Daneisha.

When I told her that I had sent a pic of myself to Daneisha, she joked that she felt left out. I laughed and let it go. But as we went on and I had sent a few pics to Daneisha, I confessed to Jessica that it was an incredible rush to me.

"Jessica, I can't explain it. I get this incredible rush in showing myself to Daneisha," I said.

"So, you're an exhibitionist huh?"

"I guess I am. This skinny white boy likes showing off his privates," I laughed.

"Well, when are you going to send me one," she asked quietly.

"You'd really like me to send you a pic," I questioned sheepishly?

"Yes," she said very seriously.

We ended our conversation and I fretted about really sending her a pic. It took me a couple of hours before I threw caution to the wind and sent her a pic. The next few hours were agonizing. She finally texted back.

"OMG!!! I was in the supermarket when I looked at your pic. I went hot and my knees literally went weak. I had to stumble to the refrigerated section to try and cool down. Seriously. I'm soaked. I want it. It's too big for my pussy, but, I want to try and slow ride it! "

"Will you text me a pic of your pussy," I texted back?

"Yes. Anything if you promise to keep sending me pics of your beautiful cock."

"Gladly."

A few days later, Jessica texted me a pic of her pussy, and I understood why she said she didn't think it would fit. Her pussy was tiny. The smallest I have ever seen.

I thanked her and sent her another pic.

"Mmmmm. I'm wet. I want," she texted back.

"Are you playing with your pussy?"

"Yes."

"Look at my cock. Come for me thinking about riding it."

"Yes."

A little while later, Jessica texted back. "I needed that. Your cock has my pussy all wet and tingling."

"Now you've got me hard and I've got play with my cock."

"Yes. Stroke it for me. I wish I was there stroking it for you. I want to suck on that big fat head. I want to taste you."

I got busy and worked myself to a good orgasm knowing that I had made Jessica come. After I finished, I took a pic of my withering cock and come covered torso and sent it to Jessica.

"I wish I was there to lick you clean. I've got to go make myself come again. Damn You!"

"You're Welcome...LOL."

To this day, we have never met. I regularly send her pics of my cock. If I go without sending any, she requests them and tells me about what she thinks about doing to me and my cock.

And as I type this, I am on a work assignment for a few months not too far from where she lives. Maybe it might be time to show her in person and create some new stories to write about here on Literotica.

It was at this time that I stumbled upon CFNM. Even though I was concerned about being completely naked in front of a female and potentially turning her off with my thin body. I craved being able to show a willing woman my large cock. Fuck, the thought of that turned me on. I fantasized heavy on that possibility.

At least a couple times a year, Daneisha would ask me the same question.

"Are you seeing anyone new, or, have you been intimate with anyone lately?"

"Not really. Why?"

"Ahh. Well, you know."

"Tell me," I implored.

"You know, I just want to know if there is ever an opportunity, whether in person, or on video of watching you pleasure another woman."

"So, you really want to watch another woman suck on my cock don't you," I asked.

"Yes," she whispered back.

"You want to watch me eat her pussy and make her come?"

"Oh yes."

"You want to get up real close and watch as my cock goes in and out of her wet pussy?"

"You know I do."

"Are you going to lick her juices off my cock?"

"Yes!"

"Good. Then I will start fucking her again, for you. Fuck her while I watch you play with your pussy."

"Jesus, I'm so wet."

"Are you playing with your pussy right now," I asked?

"Uh huh," she breathed erratically. "I want to watch you fuck her with your big cock. Oh God, I'm going to come. Fuck. Oh Shit!"

"Come for me Daneisha. Come for me while I make her come on my cock."

"Yes. I'm coming. Ahh Fuck!"

We both got quiet for a while. Just the two of us breathing heaving.

"You need to make this happen for me John. I need this. I need to see you fucking someone's wet pussy. It will drive me crazy," she commanded.

"I will Beautiful."

There came a time when I wasn't in a relationship. When I took care of my urges, it was almost always to fantasies of a CFNM encounter. A CFNM encounter with a black woman. It had been a while since I had any intimate contact with a woman and was craving that attention and touch.

Being naturally practical, I game planned an idea to potentially kill two birds with one stone. Care for my CFNM desire and to possibly have that lead to an encounter I could video or include Daneisha in.

This led to the following Craigslist posting:

"Attractive, Slender, Well Endowed, White Male seeking a CFNM encounter/relationship with an AA female. Scenario will be completely on your terms and control. Reply so we can meet and discuss our wants, needs and desires to see if we are a good fit."

I received a handful of replies and got a good feeling with one woman in particular. After a little back and forth, I learned that her name was Mary. We arranged an introductory meeting at a coffee shop. I took Mary's coffee order and told her that I would be the thin white guy reading "To Kill A Mocking Bird."

I showed up early. Grabbed our orders and took a seat in the back of the lounge area and began reading. Fifteen minutes had passed from our arranged meeting time. I texted Mary, "just want to check if you are ok?"

Mary texted back, "I'm sorry. I am so nervous. I'm outside not sure I can do this."

"How about I promise to keep my head down and eyes focused on my book. I will not look up or make eye contact with anyone for the next ten minutes. Check me out and if you decide to not proceed, you can just anonymously make your exit. No hard feelings. Honest."

"Ok," she replied.

I kept my promise and focused on my book. After about 8 minutes a figure stood beside my table. I never broke my attention in the book.

"Uh Hmmm," a sweet female voice made in order to gain my attention.

I kept my head down and replied, "I'm sorry it hasn't been 10 minutes yet. You can still run."

Mary laughed. "You are silly."

I stood and made eye contact with Mary. Giving her a genuine smile that clearly communicated that I found her attractive. I pulled out her chair and invited her to sit.

I moved back to my seat. "I hope your latte is still warm. If not, I will be glad to get you a fresh one."

Mary took a sip, "No, this is still quite warm. Besides, I don't think I need anything to make me any warmer. I'm very nervous and I'm already running too hot."

"I know it sounds obligatory, but, you never need to be nervous around me."

"Well, you've kept your word so far, but, I'm going to take it slow."

"That's good. That really would be best. For both of us. I'm very glad you decided to introduce yourself. I'm going to be upfront and say that I already find you very attractive. I cannot believe my luck. However, in no way do I want you to feel uncomfortable or pressured in anyway. If at anytime and for any reason you feel this is not right, you do not need to offer me any excuse. Just a simple no thanks and that will be it."

"Thank you. You are very good at making me feel comfortable already," she said.

"Good. I hope so. It's genuine too. So where to begin. Would you like to ask me questions, or should I just start blabbing," I asked?

"Go ahead. Explain yourself. Why this. Why me," she questioned sarcastically?

"I have a close black female friend. Every once in a while, we arrange a beneficial meeting. In the long course of our friendship. I came to realize the true and unique beauty that black women display and possess. As a result, I'm only attracted to black women. Also, in the course of texting her some candid pictures, she helped me to recognize that I have a unique passion for displaying myself to willing women and to cater to their needs, whatever they may be."

"So why don't you just satisfy that passion and need with her," Mary asked?

"I do, whenever the rare opportunity arises. But, she also loves knowing about my intimate contact with other women. I'm not going to lie, she would love to have pictures of any intimate contact we might potentially have. But that is completely up to you. You take the pictures and share with me what you are comfortable with."

"Ok. I appreciate your honesty, but, I've got a long way to go before I feel comfortable with that. Why me?"

"I had a few replies to my post, but yours stood out for its simplicity and innocence. Do you mind if I ask why you replied to my post," I asked?

"Well, I was looking mainly out of curiosity. I saw your post. I knew what AA was...me. But I didn't know what CFNM was till I looked it up. Thank goodness for Google. And, it intrigued me. I once had a white male co-worker that I found myself quite attracted to. I have never been with a white guy, but I couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like to have been with him. One time I happened to come into his office while he was on the phone. It must have been a sexy conversation because I happened to notice a nice sized erection running down along his thigh. I played like I didn't notice and acted like I got what I came in for and left. I left hot and bothered and wanting. That vivid impression is forever burned into my memory and my fantasies."

"Sounds like I have a lot to live up to. How am I doing so far," I asked laughingly.

"So far so good white boy."

"I'm glad."

"So. If I decide to go through with this, how does it work," she asked?

"Well, most of that is up to you. My interest in this is two fold. First, and most obvious, is that I get a particular satisfaction in knowing that you have a certain appreciation for what I may have to offer. Secondly, and more importantly, I have a huge intrinsic need to care for a woman's needs. A black woman at that. What I mean is that I want to do whatever is necessary to make a woman happy. That can mean anything. Wash the dishes or even clean the house. By the way, even though I'm skinny, I'm a damn good cook. I love to please women with my cooking skills. I also love to give massages. And yes that also means sexually too. Especially giving oral. Ultimately, there's not much that I am not willing to do. But, all in all, its up to you. What you want and what you are comfortable with."

"Well Ok," she said breathlessly.

"So, why don't you take some time to think about it. I already know that I would love to share this experience with you. But, no pressure. If you decide not to, then no hard feelings. Honest. Text me if and when you are ready and we will work out details."

We stood and hugged. It was not a casual hug. It lingered a bit. I couldn't help but say, "Mmm you feel nice."

"Yeah, ok," Mary said a little flustered.

"Mary? I'm glad you agreed to meet today. I hope I see you soon."

"No. Its me that is going to be seeing you," she laughed.

"Even better, and I hope so. Thanks again."

I escorted Mary to her car and we said our goodbyes.

It was the longest week of my life. My heart jumped at every text my phone received, until it finally came from Mary.

"After a lot of back and forth. I think I'm ready."

"Your just made me a very happy man. A man that wants to make you happy as well."

"So, what do we do now?"

"We can meet at my place, your place, or even a neutral hotel of your choosing."

"Let's do a hotel. That sounds best for the first time."

"Oh, the first time huh? That sounds promising."

"Ok, don't get too confident white boy."

"Not confident. Hopeful."

"Yeah right."

"Mary, I'm already feeling comfortable with you. I hope you feel the same."

"Well, maybe not as much. But I've come a long way since your post first got my interest."

"How does a week from this Saturday sound."

"That would be good."

"K...I will book a nice suite, text you the details and you can show whenever you are ready."

"Sounds good."

I made reservations for a nice spacious suite. Informed Mary of the choice to which she replied, "Very Nice!"

I refrained from coming for a week before our expected meeting. The anticipation and nerves were killing me.

I checked into the hotel on Friday evening and texted Mary which room I was in and that she should feel free to show anytime she wanted on Saturday. I settled in. I cleaned, groomed and pampered myself. Tried to get a good sleep and started the grooming process all over again in the morning. I dressed casually. Put up the do not disturb sign and anxiously waited.

Shortly before noon there was a knock at the door. I opened the door to see Mary in a sheer dress with a plunging neckline revealing her firm breasts. High heels accentuating her long legs. She smelled and looked like pure desire.

"Oh my goodness Mary, you are absolutely gorgeous," I gushed.

"Thank you. I wasn't quite sure what I'm supposed to wear in these situations," she laughed.

"Ummm. Perfect. Come in. Have you had Lunch?"

"I have not."

"Let's grab a bite downstairs and relax."

We had a nice lunch. Ordered a bottle of wine to help us both relax. We made small talk. No reference to what would hopefully be an enjoyable afternoon. Afterwards, we made our way back upstairs. Settled in on the sofa and I opened up a new bottle of wine. I don't know what made me feel more comfortable Mary or the wine. After a few more minutes of small talk, I excused myself to get more comfortable.

"Showtime," Mary asked?

"Not yet, I really do just want to get more comfortable. Be right back."

I returned a short time later in a t-shirt and sweat pants. Poured us another healthy glass of wine and settled in across from Mary.

"So tell me about this co-worker," I asked?

"Ahh. He was tall. Friendly. Handsome. Funny. Warm. He melted me with his eyes and smile. I had never even considered a white guy before, but he was hitting all my buttons."

"And apparently he wasn't too shabby in the downstairs area too," I laughed.