Sydney Buckner. No kidding.

"Con," Sydney stated out loud without prompt, "that one or both of us falls for the other and our friendship is lost as a long-term relationship is inadvisable."

My thoughts exactly.

"It's a pretty big deal," I said, a moment of clarity seemingly coming out of nowhere.

"I think as long as we have some specific rules established, we could make it work."

We dropped the conversation for a bit and ate, each of us peeking at the other periodically with a mixture of happy grins and trepidation on our faces. I could admit that she had gotten into my head about the entire scenario. Looking at her, young and bright and beautiful, I had difficulty wrapping my head around why she was even in the same room as me.

And then I heard my late wife's voice in my ear telling me to get on with my life.

And my daughters.

And Sydney herself, telling me I had so much more to offer.

"So," I said to her with a sigh, "how would this work?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sydney looked both excited and terrified at the same time and I guessed that I don't think she ever actually thought I would say yes. Not that I technically had said yes... but we both knew that I meant it.

"Oh! Uhm...," she stuttered through her words as her face flushed bright red, "do we just, like, do it?"

Her comment made me smile.

"I'm glad I'm not the only one who is nervous," I responded back as I put my plate down and walked to join her on the opposite side of the counter.

She was frozen in place as I pulled out the stool next to her and sat down, turning my seat toward her and rotating her stool so we faced one another.

"And, no," I continued, "I don't think we just 'do it.' Because I know I don't have any condoms and think we need to be safe about things like that."

"Birth control," she croaked out in a whisper.

"What's that?"

"I've been on birth control since I was 15. It helps balance my hormone levels."

"Oh. That's good, I guess."

We sat in silence for a bit, just looking at each other, each of us not necessarily knowing what to do next. I couldn't believe how nervous I was.

"I'm out of practice," I said after a bit, just as much to cut the silence as anything else.

"Me too. I thought it would be easy since we have already seen each other nude."

"Personally, I think it is easier to be nude on a beach where everyone else is nude as well as opposed to just in front of one person."

After another brief moment of silence, Sydney took a deep breath and stood up. Wordlessly, she pulled off her shirt and then her pants, leaving her standing in front of me in simple black panties.

"You better get off your butt," she said nervously, her fingers beginning to wrap into the hips of her panties.

I had an audience of one as I got out of my chair and pulled off my shirt and dropped my pants, leaving me standing in a pair of boxers. I was thankful I was wearing one of the few decent, newer pairs of underwear I owned and made a mental note that I would need to make some purchases if I was going to be presentable moving forward. Finally, matching her stance, I put my fingers on my waistband.

We dropped our final remaining garment and stood in front of each other for a moment, just visually taking in the other. When we were on the beach, while I could admit that I did look objectively at Sydney at different points, I knew that I wasn't supposed to be. As we stood in my kitchen, each of our hearts beating into a low aerobic zone, I knew the objective was to ogle and admire the sight that was in front of me, savoring every detail.

While I loved my wife every minute we were together - and was physically attracted to her every step along the way - the memories I had of her in her youth were fuzzy at best and even the memories of her physically in her later years had faded. Additionally, while I could admit to perusing internet pornography on a periodic basis, the airbrushed and stylized images that scrolled across my screen, while sexy, left a gaping hole when it came to the fulfillment of a real flesh-and-blood woman. In the years I had been alone, I had lied to myself and said I wasn't truly missing what I no longer had.

Sydney, standing before me, was a picture of perfection.

I watched as her breasts raised and fell with each deep breath and her thumping heartbeat radiated through her chest.

I was drawn in as I watched her nipples fluctuate between hard and soft, and her skin between smooth and goose flesh.

I was taken by her doe eyes, sizing me up with equal curiosity. Periodically biting her lower lip or pulling a stray hair from her line of sight, a picture of innocence.

There was no hesitation in her response when I stepped toward her and put my hands on her cheeks, tilting her face up to me; she simply wrapped her arms around my waist - the touch of her warm body pressing up against me sending a bolt of energy through me - and pushed herself up onto her toes, our lips magnetically locking together.

We stayed there for a while, nude and in the center of the kitchen, just holding each other and kissing - feeling far more natural than I expected it to - and I took in the details of her with my senses: the firm, but soft touch of her skin; the taste of her lips and tongue; the sound of her breathing; the sweet smell of her hair and skin; and the sight of her, only caught in blinking glimpses for half-heartbeats of time our lips were apart. I felt like a kid again... except for the fact that I was a middle-aged man and knew if I stayed in the position my back would start to hurt.

"This good?"

"Yeah," she responded with a smile, "it's good."

"Sooooooo..."

I didn't want to make any presumptions that we were going to have sex. Afterall, if we were in the "real world" I would seriously doubt I would be having sex on the first date. Then again, this was a very special situation and one could argue that we had already been on a couple of dates.

"Should we go to the bedroom?"

She had a trepidatious look on her face when she asked and I figured she felt the same way as I did: wanting, but nervous and not looking to be presumptuous.

"Only if you're ready," I responded.

Sydny nodded her head in approval and took my hand, ready for the next step.

And then we just stood there, still in the kitchen, neither of us speaking or moving.

"I don't know where the bedroom is," she finally said, the look on her face priceless.

I laughed and pulled her down the front hall toward the stairs. I was glad for the tiny comedic break. For me at least, it allowed me to think straight, if even for only a brief second. A second that would last until we got to the stairs.

Sydney went up first and I was tempted and tortured by the site of her tanned and smooth, beautiful butt in front of me. I was tempted to pull her down and bury my face in it right there on the steps, an action only stopped by the small voice of sanity in my head that warned me not to scare her off. I was able to limit myself to gentle hands on her hips, that she placed her own hands on top of as she climbed up the stairs, her butt jiggling with each step.

"Turn right," I instructed at the top.

She turned right and walked into my master bedroom, the only room on that side of the stairs, stopping as soon as she got into the door and turned back toward me. I don't know if she was unsure of the etiquette involved in just jumping into the bed... or if I had other plans in mind.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," she replied.

Sydney seemed to be getting fidgety and couldn't take her eyes off my penis, which, though no longer hard like it had been in the kitchen, was still quite chubby and hanging away from my body.

"What do you like to do?"

I continued my line of inquisition, not only because I wanted to take things slow for her sake and to make sure that it was a positive experience, but because I was so primed I was practically ready to devour her... in a sexual way.

"That's the problem," she said, "I just don't know. The two guys I was with must have watched too much porn or something 'cause they jumped from position to position so fast and did everything so fast that I could barely experience anything at all, yet alone determine what I liked."

She had taken the initiative to wrap her hand around my cock, mostly just holding it, but also offering some very gentle squeezes and soft strokes down its length.

"If we're going to do this," I said in all seriousness, "we have to do what many consider one of the most difficult things there is to do during intimacy, and that's be open and honest and talk to each other."

"Sure."

Her response was less than convincing. I didn't feel that it was the right time to just slam on the breaks and instead knew I would need to lead by example. My first action did not go as expected.

While she continued to fondle my penis with curiosity, I put my hand on her cheek, offering a gentle caress across it and her neck. Sydney involuntarily shivered and goosebumps spread immediately across her entire body.

"Brrrr...," she shuddered.

"Cold?"

"No, it's not that. It's just the kitchen was so warm the temperature here does seem a little cool. Plus I think you just hit a sensitive spot."

"Isn't that the point?"

She giggled at my joke and I led her toward the bed, pulling back the covers and pulling us down under them. The smooth cool sheets felt fantastic to me though I did worry if it would cause more of a chill for Sydney, so I reverted to my decades old scouts training and pulled her close. Afterall, skin-to-skin contact is the best way to stay warm and avoid hypothermia. I was only looking out for her health.

Our lips re-locked and our hands wandered. I couldn't believe how charged I was. I was savoring every second with her: every touch, every taste, every sound. Her body was soft and warm and everything felt so natural to me. Sydney breathed hard as we rolled around the bed. It had been decades since I had legitimately made out with anyone and I couldn't get over how much I was enjoying it.

But I wanted more.

I took my lips off of hers and buried them into her neck, kissing and licking and nibbling the sensitive nerves ready for attention. The action drew a deep sigh of satisfaction from Sydney and a moment later she also ripped the covers off of us.

With her body exposed, the siren's call to go exploring was too strong and soon my lips and hands were inspecting every square inch of her flesh. Nothing escaped my attention, from the obvious places like her breasts and sensitive nipples, to the less obvious such as the insides of her arms and the backs of her knees. Throughout it all, Sydney moaned and otherwise verbally expressed her pleasure and, similarly, throughout it all, I refrained from any direct touch to her waiting sex.

...until the moment was just right.

"Uhhmmm..."

If there was hesitation in her voice there was none in her physical response as I spread her legs open wide to ease my access to her waiting pussy.

"Still good?"

"Yes, please," she responded.

When I dragged my tongue across the length of her slit, a rush of emotion came over me as I realized just how much I missed the intimacy of the moment.

The quivers of her body as her sensitive clit was tortured with delight.

The escalation of intensity in her breathing as pleasure built up within her core.

The involuntary contractions of her body as it rolled through a seemingly powerful orgasm and her thighs clamped down on my ears.

"No more. No more," she whimpered through labored breath after the apex of climax.

Though I didn't want to stop - the intensity of the situation as enjoyable for me as it was for her - I relented at her request, allowing her body to go limp... and myself to be set free. I propped myself on my elbow and took in the scene which, in hindsight, was somewhat comical.

Sydney wasn't primped and posed as she lay on the bed, trying to catch her breath. Her hair was strewn about, her breasts were so liquid in their post orgasmic state they were practically non-existent, and the pubic hair around her lips was a wet, matted mess. I did what I could to ease her come-down, brushing the errant strands from her face and gently kissing her forehead in solidarity, though I can't say that in my wildest dreams could have predicted what would happen next:

With a pained whimper, Sydney culled into a fetal position and burst into tears.

"Are you okay?"

"Just give me a moment," she asked as she calmed herself.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No, just stay with me."

I set myself up at the head of the bed and created a little nest for her small body in my legs, letting her use my thigh as a pillow. The erection I had built up had unfortunately subsided, a result of the tears - and my age - though using it was legitimately one of the last things in my mind.

I stroked her head and back and shoulders to help sooth her emotions and we sat quietly for a bit before I realized she had fallen asleep, her energy completely consumed in the moment. Looking down at her, now angelic, I smiled.

Sydney Buckner.

No kidding.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I am not sure what startled me awake but was sure that it woke up Sydney too and she popped up like a jackrabbit. The room was dim, lit only by the light from the hallway, and we had found ourselves under the covers.

"What time is it," she asked.

Looking at the clock, it was just past midnight.

"Shit," she exclaimed, somewhat frantically.

She hopped off the bed but then looked back at me and hopped back on but seemed frazzled beyond that of a normal shock awakening.

"What's up?"

"Uhm," she said, barely being able to focus, "I gotta go. What do we do? Like... what happens now?"

"Not sure what you mean," I responded, stepping foot out of bed.

"Well, you didn't... I didn't to... only I... shouldn't I help..."

I walked around the bed and wrapped her in a hug.

"It was perfect," I whispered, "there is nothing that was missing or should have happened that didn't."

She sighed a breath of relief in my arms and I felt her tension ease.

"Now," I continued, "what's the rush? Wouldn't it just be better if you spent the night?"

"I can't," she explained, hurriedly pulling me down the stairs and back into the kitchen and our waiting pile of clothes, "I have to work at 4:30. I don't even have a clean set of scrubs. They're in the washer at home. I never expected to be here this long."

"I'm glad you were though," I said with a smile.

"Me too."

She cleaned up surprisingly quickly and surprisingly well and I walked her to the door.

"What's your schedule like? Can I see you again soon?"

"Uhm, yeah," she responded, halfway out the door before turning back and pulling me in for a kiss, "I am going to be around so much you're going to wish we never made this deal."

"Fat chance in that," I responded as she hurried out to her car.

Sydney Buckner.

No kidding.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I think that might have been the first orgasm I ever had. I mean, of course I've played with myself before, but it was never anything like that. Your tongue on my clit was an experience I couldn't imagine. Like, I felt it through my whole body. That's why I cried. I wasn't upset in any way, it was just so powerful I couldn't help myself."

It was 16 hours after she left my house and we were on a walk in a local park. My eyes were wide and my ears were red with embarrassment as my head darted around to see if anyone was in earshot.

"I take it nobody has ever gone down on you," I replied, confident our conversation was private.

"Definitely not."

"What a shame."

We sat down and took in the beautiful early fall day. It was warm out, the dying days of summer, and we had even texted and talked about meeting at the beach, but the park won out.

"You told me that we need to be honest with each other, right? About what we like and dislike?"

We had just sat down on a bench and her comment took me by surprise. Literally 15 seconds before she was raving about her experience.

"Yeah, I did," I responded, "I take it you are about to tell me something?"

"Well, just that I wish we hadn't drank so much beforehand, I was a little bloated and kinda' had to pee."

Her comment made me laugh out loud and she punched me in the arm.

"Don't make fun of me! I have a small bladder!"

I put my arm around her and pulled her close to me, kissing her forehead.

"Less drinking, more pee breaks. Check."

Sydney smiled and kissed me back, this time on the lips.

We were back at her house and in bed within 30 minutes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Interestingly, we very quickly discovered Sydney was able to climax from oral in quick fashion when she was not worried about accidental urination.

"Oh, God," she cried out into the day-lit room, "two days ago I didn't know it was possible to feel that good."

She certainly knew how to stroke my ego.

We laid next to one another and her hand instinctively found its way to my cock, itself already warm and engorged but nonetheless delighted by the touch of her hand.

"What should I do?"

"Do you ever watch porn?"

My inquiry caught her a bit off guard.

"I mean, I have. Sometimes. But not, like, all the time," she responded, blushing.

"Good. I was going to say to just do the opposite of what you see there. In my opinion they are always too fast, too rough. There may be a place for that type of thing, but I will argue that it is pretty much never right from the start."

"Okay," she said, a bit of confusion in her voice, "but what should I do?"

"You know, that's a great question. It's so subjective I think that it would be different for any person. I think the best thing you can do is start slow and read your partner's cues. For me, I can tell you what I remember not particularly liking."

I explained how when it came to attention on my erection, whether it was manual or oral, I didn't like attention paid to any one specific spot for too long; don't just grab the shaft, don't just suck the head, etc. Move around, lots of lube. Sloppy is okay. Teeth and nails aren't.

With a tiny amount of trepidation, Sydney shifted her position and took me into her mouth. I felt myself inhale deeply, involuntarily, as the warm, wet sensation of the experience was almost new after having not experienced it for so many years.

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the felatio. While I remembered it being pleasurable when it came from my wife, this was somehow different. Maybe it was the time. Maybe it was the partner. Maybe it was the entirety of the experience. I recalled that in my early sexual encounters I felt the need to concentrate on something other than the sensations being provided, doing what I could to prolong the moment, afraid of disappointing my partner or somehow being "unmanly." Yet there and then, with Sydney, I had no such qualm, and savored every delightful sensation.

The delicate touch of her tongue as it rimmed around the head of my engorged cock.

The smell of her, sweet from the fall air of our time at the park, yet musky from her climax.

The soft touch of her breasts and hair as they tickled my thighs, stomach, and groin as she moved about.

Oh, shit.

I realized that I had a rapidly oncoming orgasm and warned her of it.

"What do you want me to do?"

She took her mouth off of me to define protocol but kept her hand on me, her delicate fingers just barely grazing the hot and sensitive skin of me, and I was again surprised when I felt my groin tighten and the stream of hot cum shoot out of me, mostly landing on my stomach, partially hitting her cheek.