Synchronicity for Six Pt. 07

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= = =

David had taken his shower and awaited Maggie to complete hers when he recalled his promise to Katie. He didn't figure Larry would be awake yet, but this way the text would be awaiting him when he did arise.

"Larry, there seem to be some difficulties between Katie and your parents lately. She and Maggie have become close friends recently, and she's often over here. Do you have any ideas why there could be problems between your sister and your parents? David."

With that little task completed, David lay back on his pillow, his fingers interlaced behind his head, and he closed his eyes. He had not realized he had fallen asleep, but Maggie's lips on his provided a very pleasant wake up.

"Come on, Davey. It's 8:40 now and I want to be there when Katie shows up. I'll get a ride home with her. What are you going to do today?" she asked.

"I think Momma and Dad are going to take me with them to look at another house they're considering. It seems we may soon be needing the extra space," he stated. "I've sent Larry a text, asking about Katie's difficulties with her parents. I'll let you know what he says when you get home, although I may not share it with Katie."

David delivered Maggie to the jewelry store door by 8:55 and Katie was already waiting by the door. Jack showed up a minute later, and David parted company with a kiss from Maggie and a hug from Katie as the store opened for business.

= = =

Alan and Rose were waiting when David returned home after dropping off Maggie at work. David hopped in Rose's car and they set off. David just watched as Rose drove nearly across Middleburg. He was rather puzzled when she pulled into the Home Depot parking lot.

"Momma, why are we stopping here?"

Whenever David called her 'momma', her heart warmed just a bit more. These two sons of Alan and Laura were nearly perfect for her girls, just like Alan was for her.

"Your father is having a couple of extra house keys made. Be sure to get key rings for them as well, please, Alan," she called out as he was getting out.

With just the two of them in the car, she turned in her seat to look at David.

"Have you heard anything about your transfer to State in the fall?" she asked.

"No, not yet. But it's only been three and a half weeks since I submitted the request. I'm not concerned, yet."

"You would not believe how much Maggie is counting on you both being at the same school. It's almost as if her life depends on it, David. You've made such a positive impact on her life. Thank you for that."

"It's been very easy for me. She's just a younger version of you, momma."

"Sorry, David, but she's way smarter than I ever was. But she's going to need your help in not getting too distracted. I realize that a large part of the college experience is learning how to socially integrate with others who are different from you, even more than high school. But please help to keep her on the straight and narrow path. I'm worried about my baby girl."

"I'll take care of her, momma. It's kinda hard for me right now, seeing her at most every other weekend. I'm incredibly glad we have these rings, though." David was turning his ring around and around his finger as he was talking.

"That was a very sweet day for both of you. Oh, here's your father. All set, Alan?"

"Yes, Rose. New house keys on two new rings. It took me longer to walk back to the equipment rental area than it did to have the keys made and check out. Do you wish to present one of them to Katie?"

"It's your house, Alan. I think you should have the honor."

Alan nodded his acceptance and buckled his seat belt. They proceeded to the west side of town, and started out into the countryside. Just a minute's drive past where the sidewalks ended, Rose pulled into a gravel driveway.

"Oh, wow," David said, softly.

The house looked like an old-style farmhouse with two floors of windows and a smaller window near the roof peak. The porch wrapped from the front to along the left side, and there was a swing hanging under the covered area. The white paint was a little faded and looked to be chipped in a couple of places. To the left of the house and set back a little was a garage that looked to have three bays. To the right side of the garage was a set of stairs leading to a second level.

"Oh, my," Alan breathed.

They got out of the car, and as they did, the clouds were pushed away by the wind, and the light and warmth from the sun splashed down on the area.

Aside from the paint on parts of the house, the buildings looked to be in very good condition. The stairs to the upper level of the garage looked new, as did the swing hanging from the porch rafters. Alan and Rose walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell, which they heard. After nearly a minute, Alan knocked loudly on the door, but nobody answered. They looked in one of the windows but could not see much.

David ventured out past the garage and saw where the land gently fell away from the buildings. There! Way out and to the right, he could see the pond. To the left, there appeared to be a small grove of trees, planted in three rows. He turned back to look at the back of the house. Rose and Alan were coming around from the front, looking a bit puzzled.

"Hey, this place seems so cool!" David remarked. "But why do you two look confused?"

"It doesn't look like anybody's living here, but the snow has been shoveled and it looks like a plow has done its work in the driveway. Nobody's answering the door and there does not appear to be any lights on in any of the rooms we can see," Alan explained.

"From what I can see, this place looks to be in pretty good shape, Dad. It's too bad we can't see the inside of the house."

Alan crossed his arms and looked out over the gently sloping, snow‑covered yard, and slowly nodded in approval. Then he chuckled. "Just think of how the Boy Scout troop could have camped out back here. Yes, so far, I think this place could work very well for us, Rose."

"I don't know about you two, but I'm getting a little chilled," stated Rose. "Let's go back home and warm up and discuss things, shall we?"

= = =

The three returned home and agreed to meet in the living room in ten minutes, allowing time for refreshing.

"So, Alan, what are your thoughts?" Rose inquired.

"I liked what I saw, generally. There is some TLC needed on the outside, but that's not a major issue. I especially liked the porch with the swing." His smile conveyed a host of pleasant thoughts. "Obviously, I'm disappointed that we could not see much of the interior. The location will add a little time and distance to our commutes to work."

Rose nodded, accepting Alan's observations. "David? Anything you'd care to share?"

"I think it could be a good change for us."

Then David's phone rang. The caller ID showed it was Larry. David put his finger across his lips, got nods from Rose and Alan, and answered the call, placing his phone in speaker mode.

"Hi, Larry. Thanks for calling me back."

"No prob, dude. I had to get up to get lunch. I missed breakfast completely. What's going on with Katie?"

"That's my question, Lar. I haven't seen a lot because I've been away at school. But she's almost become a fixture at my house, according to Maggie and Rose. Something feels wrong to me. Can you shed any light on why your sister would be having difficulties with your parents?"

Larry sighed, and the silence stretched out longer than was comfortable.

"I don't know the whole story, but I'll tell you what I do know. First of all, she's not actually my sister."

"WHAT THE FUCK!" David's exclamation shocked Alan and Rose almost as much as Larry's announcement.

= = =

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  • COMMENTS
6 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Teller, Bravo on the success of Sync 6,

So as not to hide the critical observations (usually following praise and the big word 'but', I'll mention those first, and hope they don't overshadow the genuine & well deserved praise.

I had issues with the pace of the story, feeling like too many irrelevant side trips bogged things down or did nothing to advance the context or relationships involved. Judging by the ratings, this may be a minority view. 'Nothing to think too hard about, but maybe ask yourself as you write/edit: what does this scene do develop a character, context or relation.

The ending clearly signals the story is incomplete, though you did end w/ the word bomb that generates interest in the rest of the story. Especially on a long work, the 'life goes on' "ending" usually fails. You didn't do that & I thank you. Knowing the high rated and lengthy segment ends with 'stay tuned til next week', I'll prob read the ending of your work before deciding to read the whole thing.

***End of anything critical***

You do something rare & wonderful in describing interaction within a loving family. Judging by other author's work, you'd think this would qualify as scifi/fantasy. This site, and certainly modern cinema has long since worn out the theme of family fuckuptitude as entertainment. Others that have tried, usually fall off the fence on the side of schmatzy/sacharin. You characters & dialogue are well developed and quite believable. That is NOT a small thing. My guess is that if you keep writing families this way - you're gonna be a very popular author. Critiquing family sickness is cheap & easy. Painting the scene of a real, loving family is not easy, and is a foreign environment for too many of us. Some will turn away 'cause its too painful to imagine it can be real. They will turn to the sterile/cynical stories.

Only thing to add simply echoes part of RRC2's comment: "The number of stories on Literotica where character and story is equal to if not more important than sex definitely has a keeper in Storyteller0112."

-Dreaded Anonymous

MDR1986MDR1986almost 2 years ago

was very happy to see a new instalment! Thank you and keep up the good work

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Dragging out the Katie thing is getting tedious, but at least you've moved on from the creamer 'issue' that the ladies have in their coffee.

Anxiously awaiting the next chapter.

RalphTheRedNinjaRalphTheRedNinjaalmost 2 years ago

This is a wonderful slice of life story. Thank you, and please keep it up.

Also, I am sorry I got to you with my comment on an earlier chapter about your humor. I meant it as constructive criticism. But on hindsight, it came out harsher than I meant.

RRC2RRC2almost 2 years ago

Another excellent chapter, with the new character Katie becoming an important part of both the story and the overall tenor of the story.

The number of stories on Literotica where character and story is equal to if not more important than sex definitely has a keeper in Storyteller0112.

THANKS

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