All Comments on '...tails'

Okay, i guess. I’m not sure that it was needed after Heads… Readers could either imagine what Julien might do, or they couldn’t, in which case this story will seem unbelievable. Sandy’s small part in this story seems out of place. WTF, in this alternate ending, Sandy fucks her boss but then Julien takes her back? How could that happen? And Julien was more annoyed at the bodyguard than he was at Sandy? Author gets points for novelty, as well as strong writing, but he can do better.

... Good alternate ending.

But obvious question here: why did he let the wife divorced him? I know the man was in rehab and all, but that shouldn't have prevented him dialing a family lawyer first... Always remember: it's a lot more advantageous to be the one to file first.

Also, sure, he made a promise to Franklin and kept it... but he also said he would beat up the slut's boss. What happened to that promise?

Still good, though. An interesting companion to your previous story. Thanks for the share, author.

There's not a logical connection to "Heads...".

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In the preceding story, both bodyguards walked away. The threat of revenge waa effective and no beating was administered to Julien the artist. He walked away and threw his wife out and made lots of money, (at least according to "Heads...".)

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So why does this story start with the man (former Franklin bodyguard) being beaten, revenge taken?

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And what's the third warning, when the man was dieing of internal injuries?

Needed to be longer.

Very well-done!!! Five stars!!

Okay!

4

I prefer Heads!

4

It was more believable that he would get his ass beat than the bodyguard just leave. That was my problem with the first story. That being said, I can believe a man with morals would quit rather than beat an innocent man. But blackballed to the point he HAD to go to the middle east? Yeah that's incredulous.

???

What?

Hadda kill the guy. He woulda told. But left him alive? D

. . . so why didn't you just merge the stories? These certainly are not compelling on their own!

Little confused because in “Heads” both bodyguards leave? You didn’t have the same prologue on this one so wasn’t sure where this story’s reference came from. 4*

Fun bit of vengeance.

Would love to see the boss get his too and Sarah needed a good hard spanking at least.

Confusing pile of crap.

A very confusing story, by the time I had worked out the characters it was over.

Superb noir presentation of the aftermath of a poor decision.

I'm confused by this story - in Heads, both bodyguards left - in this one, it states the other bodyguard (not Joe) beat Julien. I must have missed something and your postscript at the end of this one didn't clear it up for me. Well written, just doesn't seem consistent.

So the MC went through all that for a woman that divorced him anyway. It would seem the MC has a lot of misplaced anger.

Was confused at first, as this didn’t make sense as a sequels to “Heads”. Then the light went on that it was more of an alternative ending. Still required reading “Heads” first to get tne background, though. Would have been nice if the author had informed readers that this was an alternate ending.

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As such, it was just OK as it still didn’t give readers anything on the stupid wife. Yeah…he got revenge on tne thug that beat him up….but what about the slut and her boss?

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3 ***

My apologies. I should have made a note that said that this was an alternate version of Heads, one in which the second bodyguard DIDN'T leave.

Okay, alternate versions of the aftermath. This one completely neglected Franklin the asshole. Plus the blood and damage in house was mentioned. Whose house, Franklin's? Julien was found in the drive but the cops never investigated to find out if it happened inside and how? Julien never said who did it? Too much open ended crap. You just wanted to write a quick story that you left out too much.. This is the reason I do not care for super short stories. They often leave out so much they are stupid. Sorry dude, you missed it here.

it had a chance... until it didn't. He did this to the bodyguard but NOT Franklin, who cheated with his no ex-wife? still gave you a 3* b/c I understand the approximate direction you were going.

I have to agree with most of the other readers responses. The big hole in the story of course was Julien's beating -- it didn't happen in the first story. And then there's the complete lack of punishment for the wife. It's a shame because it could have been a great story. Aside from problems with the plot, it was written well. If you're a beginner, you show great promise. Keep it up and good luck.

Took a few minutes to get it. Both alternatives work. Thanks

In Heads, Franklin gets punished. In Tails, Franklin doesn't get punished. There needs to be one more.

Unfinished baloney. If you're willing to take the chance in really hurting him - kill him. Because an injured foe that isn't dead is a dangerous foe. But you didn't finish the story. Not good.

A bit better than the first but the nemesis is Franklin.

I gave "Heads" 4 stars, really liked it. This, on the other hand, was a confusing mishmash, even though I had read Heads first. As I said in my comments for Heads, it didn't need a sequel or alternate ending or whatever this was. Just way too convoluted.

Did work as a follow up. If it was an alternate ending, author should have disclosed it. There wasn’t enough here to stand on its own merit. It was very well written though.

"Heads" and "Tails" present two different versions of what happened when Julien refused to accept being made into a cuckold. The author appears to be confused. The readers most certainly are.

I liked the story it entertained me. He got his revenge, it was best eaten cold after all.

5/5

Took me a moment to figure this out at the start.

You write it extremely well, beyond the average "fixated on a big cock" cucks.

So is this a "Heads" "Tails" and it "landed standing on its side" in that we get a 3rd part? I get beating up the dude but his marriage or more correctly, it falling down around his ears, might be a nice add on. With the way you write it could be quite good.

He did tell him what would happen, but I hope you do a third chapter with a little something special for Franklin.

Great ambition, but poorly executed. Better luck next round. And thanks for the effort.

It took a reread of the first story to get this to make sense. Over that was done it was a good alternative ending. I would like to know how Franklin make out in this version though.

Potential, but a bit off target.

Totally over looks Franklin the boss. Where is the pay back on him?

No where near enough consequences or at least rejection of the wife. Clearly she is the direct cause of the events. Given the set up in "Heads", how is it she didn't actually witness or at least hear the fight / beating as it was taking place instead of just seeing damage to house and blood the next morning?

Three stars.

Shame the cheater and lover got off scot-free.

Very well done. Boss man has not suffered yet. But that's okay, "Heads" as well as "Tails" centered on the bodyguards' choices.

It took a few paragraphs, and a consideration of the CHANGE in title, to let me understand that this was the OTHER choice for the BG. Then I loved it.

As someone commented in Heads, "beware the fury of the quiet man."

What a waste of a story and a category. Try tying them together to make them right.

I have to ask why Joe couldn't find a job and went to the sandbox?

"t took just over a month, but Joe did call me. With the loss of his income, and the economy as it was, he was having a hard time paying his bills. I had a gallery downtown, where my paintings were available. Oh, they were also available online, but those were the mass produced, touched up transfers. My gallery had the original artwork, which had a much higher sticker price. I convinced the gallery manager that we needed security, and that the security department needed a head of security."

From your very own 'Heads...'

After all this was not about Joe, who still in this story, chose to walk away.

Maybe this was the reason you didn't want the 2 stories to be linked?

TBH once it clicked I thought it was a different author that had written Heads and you were writing your own alternative conclusion and was going to check the accreditation at the top... until I read the end.

What was this crap all about?.

He warned him.

@kiteares: It seems this story has the same start as the wife cheating but a but different outcome. This is the version where the second bodyguard doesn't back off.

A failed effort to be clever.

I liked it!

An alternative ending -- he lived up to his word.

I had to read this twice, but still not sure what to think of it, sorry to me it’s just off

What a great pair of stories!

Hm. I didn't want to read this one. Glad I did. It was an interesting companion to Heads.

Honestly it wasn't as bad as I expected; but also; I am giving it just 3 stars because instead of going after his wife who was the real criminal; or the boss, he wasted his time, energy, risk, luck, and opportunity costs, on a meaningless minion. Yes, maybe it was important to him to keep his word... but that could have waited till he got real revenge on those who truly deserved that. For what it's worth, this story COULD have been an amazing finishing chapter to a longer story where what I wish happened (revenge on ex wife and her boss first, THEN come after the bodyguard)

A man keeps his promises. I hope he had something special for the boss.

3 stars as there are no sequels for the wife and boss

Loved the pair, but i think wify and the boss both deserve their own handling especially if they are as good as these were