by Boo96
The switching is lightning fast. A little too fast, if you ask me. Which you, of course, don't.
Still 5,sofar
Cor! Some people are harsh, ain't they? It's darn sexy building to a few crescendi, and I particularly enjoyed the pants play. Time for Part 2!
Xzy89c1;
Yeah, I missed that. That missing word 'lids' kind of throws things off, eh?
I'm sure you'll find a few more grammatical errors if you're so inclined to continue, but hopefully, the story still works.
Regards...
I didn't love all of it, but then it's your story and should be told your way.
beautifully written, love and understanding...one of the best i have read
Good story and very sexy. Kind of some fetish elements to it. May want to add a fetish tag.
Need little more backstory on their past, relationships, kids, etc. 4*
normal for these two. Getting worse at the end. Glad you stopped it there. Yuk!!
I must say, I haven't cum like that in a while! My emotions and body response we very similar to Chrissy's in the entire story. It was a great way to start my day so I thank you. As to your other questions I will respond later in private.
Well written. I had to pull one off reading this. Love stories with older, more mature siblings, finely living out their fantasy, as that is what happened with me and my beautiful sexy sister and 58 YOA. There was a lot of MUTUAL passion and pleasure depicted here. Again, great story.
Wow! This has to be the hottest story I've ever read and ever "enjoyed" ;)
I absolutely love your adjectives and hope to fill my own stories with some of your tasty wordplay, Tom :)
way to take your time and let lit members feel the story come to them . well written, and well worth read again and again
wow, you have to expand this story, amazing and wow.... thanks
a half written story by a half assed writer either finish this story NOW or delete it and all other unfinished stories.
SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR AND FINISH WHAT YOU START. this needs a total rewrite using a good editor not the idiot you used this time.
All I can say is wow. I really liked this story. I would love to see a second chapter
very interesting so far, would love to see where it goes from here
Good read. I dont read these stories to evaluate your writing. I enjoy a good brother sister story. I'm an only child so never had the opportunity, but has always been a fantasy of mine. Write the rest of this story. Would be great if they stay together.
Or "could've." Just not "could of." Otherwise, a hot-ass story that just doesn't quite "finish" right.
this deserves more. the chemistry is awesome,well written, would love to read more.
the story was so-so to much teasing i never liked teasing it ends up to much like forced sex if you had just went with the sex and skipped the teasing it would have been great
The chemistry between them was amazingly well written. I would love to see a sequel also.
Good potential, but as an avid reader (and sometimes writer) the choppy style and myriad other distractions ruined it. Thanx for trying, however. Next time you write, consider getting a GOOD editor.
You know, you can have more than just one sentence in a paragraph. I found that more than a little distracting.
Please continue this great story. You've done a wonderful job. Thanks.
The attention to detail was fab and held the story together . A part 2 would be interesting . There were a few minor errors but ....who cares . Well done .