All Comments on 'Taken In The Shower Ch. 01'

There were some aspects of this story that were good but it lacked a flow that would have made it more enjoyable. Small details were confused, too, i.e., sister had porcelain skin in beginning, then olive in shower scene.

Some flow problems but text was excellent.

Now there will be double trouble for sis!

Thanks for writing!

Sexmate

Text was well done. I can't wait to find out how the older brother goes about joining in.

You can definately have more dirty talk, more description. Its a hot story with a lot of potential. You can probaby make Dante make her a slut for himself and older bro. That would be brilliant. Keep up the great work.

I'm waiting for her to suck Dante's cock. I'm waiting for the brother Melchiorre to fuck her. I'm waiting for all three of them to start fucking and sucking. Hurry! I'm waiting!

God I can't tell you how badly I wish my brother would do that to me. Definitely a good start, though not finished.

What a brilliant idea..The brothers take their sister in the next episode??? Wish I had a brother who would do me...

To the Anonymous commenter who said I confused details about her skin being porcelain in one scene then olive in another, when I said porcelain I meant the texture, the smoothness, the perfection of it, not the color. LOL. She's Italian, so she's olive-toned, but her skin is smooth like porcelain. Hope that cleared it up for anyone else too.

Also, as for the issue with flow, I wasn't worried about that. I know how I wrote it, and did so on purpose. These stories are not where I focus most of my passion and TIME for writing. It's strictly a release for myself that I opt to share with others. I don't really care about the flow, and I am sorry if that makes it less enjoyable to read. :-/ Hopefully, you will enjoy it enough anyway to read more. But I have appreciated all the comments on my stories. ^.^

Well Done !!!! I really enjoyed reading about the sexy girl being taken by her brother. I just hope her brother Dante appreciates his sister and treats her special. After all she isn't just another hole to fuck, she's his blood sister. It's something better than normal when his sister allowed him to have her body. So fucking hot to read about him stretching her sweet pussy to fit his big cock and fill her up with cum. I hope the other brother takes advantage of the situation, and makes love to her and fucks her too. She should be treated like she is a goddess by both of them. Worship her body, mind and spirit, and make her feel that she is their special woman that they will love the rest of their lives. I know that's how I'd treat her is she was my sister. Thanks for the very erotic coupling of brother and his sister.....Rich

I would agree with one comment, I do like and appreciate more open dialogue in a story, I think it helps with the flow, emotional intensity, and overall atmosphere of any piece. (I almost tend to use too much dialogue in mine!)

But...I really did enjoy this piece and now look forward to reading more of your work.

MF

very arousing, well written too...

Rape, by definition, cannot be erotic.

I'm intrigued by lilly's comment. She wishes that her brother would just take her and fuck the shit out of her. It's really sad that the young lady is frustrated, though it doesn't have to be that way. Lilly knows that she's desperate for her brother's big hard cock. Doesn't she realize that her brother very likely feels the same way about his sister's adorable little coochie? Hasn't she noticed that her brother is hard in pants when he's around her? Look, dear Lilly, there are many thousands, probably tens of thousands and more brothers right now who are fucking their sister, sticking their fat brotherly cock up their sister's cute little cunt and unloading their brotherly balls up sis's sweet little twat. Come on, Lilly, just put your smoothest moves on your hunky brother, let him know that your sisterly twat is hungering for his big prick and for all the creamy sperm in his heavy loaded balls. You guys are going to have lots of hot incestuous fucks in the years to come.