Taking Charge Pt. 04

Outstanding storytelling continues in this chapter, with strong characters and a swiftly moving plot that holds the attention of the reader throughout. Five stars.

Careful Becca, you can get pregnant from precum. Whether or not Jake orgasms inside you might not really matter.

From what I know of Dan this situation would absolutely not be okay with him. Fucking your husbands best friend, multiple times, under his own roof? No, that doesn't fall within his guidelines, especially since she hasn't said word one about her frustrations. As to Ryan's "rejection" last chapter, damn, maybe let him have a shower after he works all day. Better yet, find a job or hobby to keep busy. Less time to fuck his buddies that way.

None of that matters since I'm sure Ryan is somehow involved in the whole thing. I'm less confident now though that his reasons are going to be satisfying.

I like how Jake has read Anita Blake too. Yeah right.

I just came across this series and am really enjoying it! It's a fantasy, it's hot and sexy - just what I expect from stories on this site. You have a great style and it is a pleasure to read well written pieces. I really love the pussy eating scenes! Sooooo sexy, yum. I hope they continue in the following chapters as Jake is a real talented cunnilinguist ; )

Yes, Jake is larger than life. Or Becca's perception is. ;) Exaggerated perception is a fairly common theme among my non-scifi stories.

And Ryan isn't done. He'll come back into play later on. His character will flesh out a bit more. In the beginning, I wanted his character to be rather flat, because that's how Becca sees him lately.

Thank you for the kind words!

I quite enjoy Nalani, so I will take that as a great compliment. Thank you!

They finally fucked!

No problem with how and why she has fallen out of love with her husband.

She has certainly shown great determination in not giving in to her obviously developing wish to have Jake fuck her.

But the last neglect in her marital bed was certainly enough to justify her surrender.

I do think it is somewhat legitimate to say you might have developed Ryan further as a character, just for better understanding of what his problem might be.

And as said elsewhere, Jake is "larger than life" truly. I think he could be well hung without being a freak, and the story would benefit from that.

But these are small quibbles over what is truly a well written and well organized story, with great sexual appeal to your readers, me included. I laughed, and loved it for you, the author, when one of the readers set aside a book he had been waiting for, to read the next installment. Brother, THAT'S applause!

My ARC of Nalini Singh's Heart of Obsidian was waiting for me when I got home today. I put off reading it until I could finish this installment. Considering I've been waiting for months for that book (and whining about it, loudly), that's a pretty big deal.

I thought the first two parts were good. The writing is tight, and you get a good picture of the SURFACE of Becca and Ryan's marriage. But when you started developing Jake later on in part three and into part four, it went from good to great. Great enough I put off reading a book I'm planning to devour shortly LOL

On the comments about the cheating aspect...go read the chapter in Dan Savage's new book, American Savage, called Cheating is Never Okay (except when it is). He acknowledges that sometimes a marriage is great, wonderful, and breaking it apart would be devastating...except when one person's sexual needs aren't being met. He explains it far more eloquently than I can summarize, but that's what you're doing here. Becca's trying to make her marriage work (well, except for the whole not talking to Ryan about it thing) so she's going elsewhere. I don't have a problem with it, and to paraphrase Mr. Savage, if you don't like reading stories about cheating, then don't read them!

Don't give up hun. I've read every story you've written and have loved every one.

I find them griping and interesting and I love the way you write. I'm not great at giving positive or negative criticism, so just know you have a fan.

Please carry on writing this - the way Jake talks and behaves -even his facial expressions- reminds me exactly of someone I know.

And you are absolutely right, this type of ignorance and neglect is what mostly kills marriages. The real world is not full of the in-love idiots who view life through rose colored glasses who are in the beginning of their relationship. It's full of husbands and wives who've been together for ages, too stuck on concentrating on things they think matter more than each other. Great sex is an important aspect of a marriage. Thank you for writing about this, I hope Becca will find a way to be happy and be herself and not just content and going through the motions of the person social standards expect her to be.

As for the negative comments - I think they are all coming from the readers who are to scared to admit they have something similar going on in their lives ;-)

I Get The Feeling That Ryan Is Going To Be A Wimp, Gay Or Bi But A Wimp. From Pg 2 Forward Started To Skim. Will Skim Next One, Pretty Sure I'm Done. Descent Writing But Became Repetative And All Characters Are Not Likable. If I Don't Enjoy It Then It'sA Waste Of time.

Wait, does that make me the opposite of an idiot. Seems like a double-negative.

Anyway, first, I have more than two readers (it's much, MUCH closer to five). Second, what is there to understand about your posts? You have made it very clear that you have made assumptions about the story without having read all of it (evident by the fact that all seven segments have yet to post), that you dislike elements that don't even exist in the story (who wants whose baby?), that you have thrown personal insults about and thus demonstrated that you are a supremely unpleasant person.

I'm fine with the fact that you don't like the story. I know I can't write a story that everyone likes. I am always open to feedback, so that I can improve as a writer. However, you have given no worthwhile feedback, nothing constructive be it positive or negative. All you have done is post vitriolic comments and made inaccurate assumptions (elements of the story and the number of readers I have). Oh, and you have done one other thing; you have reminded me that I have no tolerance, nor patience, for general dumbassery (I love that term!). So, on that note, I invite you to no longer read the story, but feel free to vote my work down at 1 star, since that is pretty much the limit of the impact you can make on my life and overall sense of satisfaction for a job well done in writing this story. And by 'impact', I mean 'makes no difference to me whatsoever'.

To everyone else, I think you for reading.

Thank you, anon. I appreciate the feedback. :)

I'm appreciating it. I think its an extremely perceptive glimpse into a relationship dynamic that is, apparently, a lot more common than I realized. Getting to a certain point in your life/marriage/relationship and realizing that you may have been wrong about things doesn't make you a bad person. Even making questionable choices about what to do once your eyes have been opened doesn't make you a bad person. I'm very much appreciating being able to follow along on someone else's journey through that difficult process. Even if she's making choices that are different from what mine might be I can identify with her thought processes- the confusion, the disappointment, the hurt, the anger, the bargaining, the justification, the strange numbness that fills up the place where guilt should be...

If you can't identify, and I certainly understand why some people can't, then I think you should count yourself lucky.