Taking the Ride

This story is entirely a work of fiction.

*****

I walked into the Close Encounters Astrolounge for the third night that week. I wandered over to the bar, about twenty feet or so from the front door. The lounge was a good-sized room, probably 25 or so feet square. To the rear of the bar, in the left-hand wall, was a set of heavy wooden doors, which led to a number of private spaces designed for one-on-one sessions between patrons and lounge entertainers. The space was a combination of lounge/ sports bar/ gentleman's club.

The bartender, Bree, was also the owner of the establishment. I really didn't know what drew me to the place so regularly. Not a week went by that I didn't visit twice a week on average. But I liked the atmosphere, and I felt relaxed after a day in the office.

Tonight Bree grinned at me and fixed my usual, a SoCo and seven with cranberry juice. She mixed it not too heavy on the booze, with just enough cranberry, how I liked it.

I did know that one of the reasons I came was Piper. Piper was a tall brunette, with long hair so dark it was nearly black, framing nice facial features and cascading down past her butt. Piper was neither fat nor skinny, but she had a wide, rounded-out ass that was to die for. She had healthy, C-cup breasts She was long-legged, over six feet. The first time I laid eyes on Piper, I was done. She came walking over to the bar, and we said hello, and she let me finish my drink, then said, "Why don't you come on back with me? Fifty bucks for a couple hours." That was it. Every visit to the bar after that, Piper knew what I wanted. Money changed hands, and this woman created such raw happiness in me, I knew it was a drug.

Tonight, I finished my drink and thanked Bree, with a solid tip. She grinned, then said Piper's name in my ear, and I nodded, and Bree and I walked over to the doors. Bree swiped a card in the reader on the wall. We went through. Piper appeared from one of the suites and grinned; I about melted into the floor. Bree had already disappeared back through the double doors. Piper led me into the suite.

We had a routine; I would sit in one of the lounge chairs, fit for a Gulfstream private jet. Piper would peel all her clothes off, and just wander around the room while music played. I couldn't help but marvel at her figure. She was just beautiful, period. We would sit and talk. There was a shiny brass pole in the room, and every now and then Piper would cue some AC/DC and put the pole to use, or give me a lap dance, and bounce her amazing bare ass on my thighs, or prop a long leg on my knee during a brief routine. I had confided in Piper that she was very easy to look at, but it was just that appreciation of her physical self that was my biggest draw to her. She was pretty.

We sat and talked. At one point Piper asked me if Bree was in-house tonight. "Yeah," I said, "she mixed my drink." Piper wandered over and sat in my lap, carefully. She pulled my arms around her back. "Hey, Piper—" She cut me off. "Your fifty bucks means you can touch. All of our ladies are trained in Akido. You get rowdy, you get a warning, then you get dropped. And exiled. No coming back here. I know damn well I don't have to worry with you. Bree and I talked about it several times."

Now, if Bree is here, it means that she's gonna do random checks for the thing we cater to in most of these suites; the way too popular poop fetish. Bree prefers that everybody back here is participating. If not, she goes and finds one of the half-dozen ladies who do that sort of thing here, and pairs you up for a session. Better you go with me than get busted. I don't want that to happen to you."

Piper led me through another door on the same wall as my lounge chair. We entered a fully equipped bathroom, shower and robes and all, plus what looked like a massage table. She wandered over and lifted the toilet lid. She sat. Slowly, I moved over and stood next to her. I just looked down at her. She splayed her legs open and said, "Just sit down." She took my right hand in hers and looped her left around my waist. She tugged, and my butt hit the toilet seat. "Bad idea," I said.

Piper stared me in the face. "No it isn't," she said. "No it isn't. Not with me." I looked at her gorgeous legs tucked around me. I looked at her eyes and incredible dark hair. Piper tooted, a long, deep buzz amplified by the porcelain. I counted to ten. Half a minute's pause, and she tooted again, a sharp crackle. I counted to fifteen. She gave me a wet kiss on the cheek. "Asshole control,"she said. Another deep buzz, another ten seconds gone.

Piper took a deep breath. I knew what was coming. "Piper, don't," I said. She looked at me and frowned. She said, "Why not? I gotta poop like everybody else. Are you scared?"

"Not scared," I said. "Definitely not comfortable, though."

Piper put on a wounded look. "How long?" she asked. "Go on, tell me."

"About a month," I said with a sigh.

"That's right, ass clown. That's at least eight sessions." She grinned. Then she got serious and took my face in her hands. "Look at me," she said. "Nothing bad has ever happened when you're with me. Nothing. Now you trust me." She tilted my head onto her shoulder and stared calmly into my face. Truth be told, even that was sexy. She breathed again, and I felt her belly flex gently. I heard a quiet squelch from her nether regions and she sighed gently. She inhaled and pushed gently a second time, then leaned forward and exhaled, still pushing.

There was a knock at the door. "Piper," I heard. Bree's voice. "Where's Noah at?"

Piper answered. Calm as can be, she said. "He's here with me."

Bree asked, "Can I come in?"

Piper said, "Knock yourself out."

Bree opened the door and stepped in. She stood there, quiet for a full ten seconds. "Piper," she said, eyebrows up, "you didn't have to do that with Noah."

I spoke up. "Piper said you check at random and most of the suites back here do poop fetish sessions. She said you like everybody to participate. If they don't, things get a helping hand from you."

Bree sighed. "That's mostly true. But I also knew that you were head over heels for Piper because she's just smokin' hot. Like a brunette Barbie. I wouldn't make her poop and take you along."

Piper leaned forward and groaned. Massive splash, followed by hard-boiled egg odor, rolling out of the bowl. "Ohhh, awesome," Piper said. "Much better." She took a breath. "Good God, what a smell." She tilted my head back again and pinched my nose. "Better for you," she said to me. I breathed through my mouth for a few minutes until Piper released my nose. I moved carefully, stepping over to wash my hands while she cleaned herself.

I wandered back over and couldn't help looking in the bowl before Piper flushed. A huge turd, probably more than six inches long, rested there, dark, and nearly as big around as my fist. My penis throbbed unabashedly, after being moderately hard sitting with Piper.

We moved back out to the main suite and Piper said, "I saw you looking at my turd. Couldn't help yourself, or what?"

I said, "Curiosity beat caution on this instance." I had parked myself back in the Gulfstream chair, and Piper came over and faced me and eased herself down on my lap. "You okay?" she asked. I said, "You're so damn hot it'll make up for a lot."

She said, "That's nice, but I need to make sure you don't have a serious dislike of me because you were sitting with me while I took a shit. I also need to know you won't be afraid of me from now on."

I said, "Piper, I'm not afraid of you. It was a little weird, is all."

She noted, "Still, it's partially the fault of the person doing the weird part if the subject feels weird about it." I responded by saying that it didn't mean I should be afraid of a person after such an experience. Piper said, with a long kiss on the mouth, "I do like you a lot." She moved off my lap and disappeared back into the main lounge area, after seeing a face and a beckoning finger at the heavy double doors. Apparently, a patron had gotten rowdy, and the subbing bartender had defended herself and gotten an assist from the bouncer to remove the guy into the parking lot. Cops were called, and the bartender and the bouncer gave statements, eating thirty minutes of the evening. Piper found all this out when she went to see if there was more to be done to handle the issue. She had been with Bree's establishment for enough years that Bree entrusted her with some things.

I stayed in the suite and read. In every suite was an Amazon Kindle Fire tablet, pre-loaded with some games and David Baldacci and John Grisham and James Patterson works. Both Bree and Piper knew I was an avid reader. Bree showed up and said to me, "Noah, I'm sorry you felt obligated with what Piper was asking. We didn't set you up, but Piper was right. If she had asked me, I would have given you a pass. I know you have a basic, but very deep, attraction to Piper. And you seem like the respectful type, almost to a fault."

"Thank you for saying so," I noted.

She said, "Even with that in mind, Noah, do you think you could handle a double whammy?" I looked at her.

"You want me to go in with you while you poop? Two women in the same night?" I said. "You're gonna have to give me some time to consider."

She said, "That's fine. I wanted to put it out there so you knew." She left and went back out to the lounge, and I suspected she made sure Piper had handled the unruly customer. I thought about what Bree was asking of me.

To be honest, I stared at Bree off and on, too. She served my drinks most of the time, even though I basically limited myself to one cocktail a week and had ginger ale most often, throwing in the occasional beer.

Bree was tall, even beyond Piper's six-two. Bree was probably six-four. But she was wide, with a broad torso, with a minor layer of tummy softness, and thighs like tree trunks. One of the big reasons I eyed Bree was her ass. Each cheek might as well have been a fifteen-pound Thanksgiving turkey. And yet she carried it easily. She had big, elongated knockers and blue eyes. Her facial features were nice, including a ready smile. Where Piper had straight dark hair, Bree's was curly and blonde, and nearly as long.

I kept my mind on the book I was into until Bree returned, all too soon, it felt like. In truth, it had been more than half an hour since Bree disappeared. But she did wander back in. Eight or ten feet from my Gulfstream lounger was a leather loveseat. Bree went over and sat. She stared at me for a few minutes, and it felt like an hour. She sighed, and eventually beckoned me over with a finger. I went, partly because her somewhat witchy reputation preceded her. When I was near, she peeled all her clothes off. With me facing her, she parked me atop her thighs, put one hand at the back of my neck, and hugged me into her with her other arm. She gently plowed my face into her massive chest.

"I know you like to stare at my ass," Bree said to me. "I can feel your eyes when you do. Now I want to poop for you."

"I do have a weakness for big asses," I admitted.

"It's okay to fantasize like that. As I've gotten to know you a little bit and watched your interplay with Piper, I started to want to pass gas and poop for you. Please don't be afraid. It's part of what we do here. We want to keep you coming back. Piper might be mad at me if something happened and you didn't want to be back.

"We don't force things. But when I stepped in earlier and saw you all cozy with Piper, it made me think. Then it was like, dammit, I'm going in there and I'm going to make him want me as much as I want him."

"Gee, thanks Bree," I said.

She grinned. "Can we please go pass gas and take a dump, so you understand how it is for you and I being around each other?"

I moved off her lap and we went into the bathroom. I stripped down. Bree lifted the lid on the toilet. Before we sat, Bree nestled me close into her soft parts. I hugged, then copped a feel of her huge ass. "That's right. Have some of that. It's on the house," she said.

She sat, and opened her legs and guided me down. She was warm and soft and incredibly comfortable to be close to. "Fuck me," I said, slumping. "Perfect," Bree said. She unleashed a blast of gas into the bowl, a long, popping masterpiece during which I made a ten-count. She breathed in, laying down a masterful deep buzz that echoed madly in the bowl. She kept herself wrapped around me. Her final tribute was an amazing goose-honk that lasted fifteen seconds. She sighed deeply when it was done, and a faint egg odor hung in the immediate space. "That last one," she said.

"Fifteen seconds," I noted. "Noisy and impressive."

"I hoped so," Bree replied. "Now it's time for Beautiful Brown."

I felt her breathe deep again. She leaned over, adjusting her hold. Her legs tensed with the push. I heard a steady squelch, Bree gasping in my ear, and then turd crashing against the bowl water. There was a final splash and Bree eased backwards, then kissed my neck. Sulfur ruled the air. Bree said, still breathing deeply. "Shit!! Monster log. God, what a wait for that."

I moved, so she could clean herself. She dropped her TP carefully. While she washed up, I went over and had a look. My mouth slackened. Bree's turd was as big round as a tennis ball, and it ringed most of the bowl; it was most of a circle, with about three inches between the two thick ends. If I was going to guess an overall length, at least a foot, maybe more like sixteen inches.

I stepped over and washed my hands. "Are you impressed?" Bree asked.

"Yeah," I said, "it's big, and it smells fierce."

"Revise that statement," Bree ordered, suddenly serious.

"Sorry. It's huge, and it really stinks, honest to God," I said.

"That's right," Bree declared, laughing. "And I made it. That's asshole control, kiddo."

I dressed and we departed, back to the main lounge. We sat next to each other and I leaned into Bree's shoulder. She put an arm around me. A phone buzzed, and she looked at me. "Gotta be you," I noted. She went fishing and found her phone on the loveseat. She checked the display. "Oh, Zoe," Bree said sadly.

She looked at me. "This was going to be the end of the evening. But I'm leaving again, and I'm bringing someone back with me. You may not leave until we're back. You might be on duty again."

I shrugged. "So now I'm being volunteered, and it's on duty?" I said. Bree left. She returned within five minutes. She was first into the room, followed by someone who blew my mind on looks alone. She wasn't gorgeous the way Piper was. She was about Piper's height, a little thicker than Bree through the middle, and her ass might have been wide enough to damn a narrow creek. Her hooters were as big as Bree's, and she had soft brown eyes and a bob haircut that was parted and drooping to her collarbone on one side, hitting her jawline on the other. It was dyed a deep turquoise, and it was gorgeous. I stared.

I said, "Bree, where do you find these women? What are you doing to me?"

"Noah," she said, "this is Zoe."

Zoe chimed in, and my ability to refuse whatever was coming next went blazing away. "I've seen you around, Noah. "You and Piper, that tall bombshell hottie." Zoe's voice was throaty, like Katey Sagal or Allison Janney.

She said, "Noah, I'm sorry, but I haven't pooped all day. My belly hurts. I need to pass gas like you won't believe. And there's a loaf or three packed in my belly. They all want out. I gotta feel better. Gas first."

Bree took out her phone again. She tapped a code, and a panel in a blank part of the wall slid itself sideways, like a pocket door. A soft overhead glow came on. There was a phone booth in the space. There was an actual phone in it. But there was more than the average interior space. Three people, each over six feet tall, would be comfortable.

Zoe took me by the hand and opened the booth. "Ever been in one of these?" she asked. I shook my head. She said, "Well, it's not airtight, but it's good for confining odors." She watched comprehension dawn across my face. "Yes," she said. "That."

By that she meant that she was going to pass gas to an extent that there was going to be enough odor to fill the entire booth with stench. We went in. Zoe faced me, and then the instructions.

"Okay. Please don't freak out. This will not kill you. I promise you I'm not a witch. I'm gonna breathe and fart repeatedly until the pressure is gone. Then we'll have to shit. Stay here, hug me, lean on me. I'm right here with you, and obviously, I'm not leaving."

Zoe kissed me deeply, full on the lips. I melted as she pulled me close, and I hugged into her soft middle and wrapped my arms around her. "That's right," she said. "Showtime." She inhaled, and then the racket started; a huge, naughty crackle from her ass. A fifteen-count monster. Sulfur stink. She gasped, relaxed, inhaled, and sent a deep, powerful buzz into the booth. Twelve more seconds of my life gone. More stink. She breathed in, and unleashed a noise from her cheeks that sounded like Thumper from Bambi. As this rolled into the booth, Zoe yanked me to her and swore viciously, slumping into one side of the booth, but making sure I kept my feet. "FUCK!!" she hollered, thankfully not in my ear.

Zoe squatted now. She dropped me carefully to her thighs, wrapped in gorgeous black denim. In short order, she ripped through half a dozen noisemakers, all noisy Thumpers. Five seconds between them, generating more than a full minute of noise, and laying stink into the air. She grimaced the entire time she powered these out of her ass, then relaxed and eased to the floor, spent. I was still parked across her thighs. She looked concerned and said a single word quietly. "Okay?"

The room was packed with an absolutely wild stench. Part of my brain said, "Really? What a God-awful smell." Another part said, "Holy hell. A sexy, turquoise-haired, soft plumper bombshell just left all that. What a turn on."

Zoe read my mind. "Half of you wants to say, 'Let me the fuck out, right now, you crazy bitch.' The other half wants to say 'That was naughty, but God, you're hot."' She laughed. "I'm sorry. Both counts are correct. But we're not done. I have Brown to give," she said.

Bree came to the door and opened it. She closed it fast, and stood there and breathed. "Jesus, Zoe. Noah didn't sign up for that stink. But finish the deed in here. All of it. I'll clear the turds, and bring the mop and the Lysol."

Zoe stood and ditched all of her clothes, and sent them out with Bree, who dropped them on the suite floor. I sat and stared at Zoe in her half-elephant size, nude glory, gaping and slack-mouthed. Zoe sensed this and turned and winked and said, "You can use one word."

Without pause, I simply said, "Fuck."

She said, "I know, right?" She wandered over and turned her back, her quadruple-wide ass less than a foot from my face.

"Jesus," I said. "Is it half as soft as it looks like it should be?" In response, she reached around carefully, cupped the back of my head, and shoved my face dead-center against her rump. For the first time ever, I experienced an ass so smooth and soft and supple that it attempted to engulf my face. I had butt-cheek touching the middle of my ears. Zoe left it buried for a few seconds, then let go. She turned and winked again.

"Okay, I'm gonna poop on you. I promise to be nice," she said.

I noted, "I think your definition of nice might be bent."

Zoe laughed, squatting over my torso after I had carefully stretched out. Her ass was massive from this angle, and I noted her anus. I saw her shift just a little as she took a deep breath. She grunted while she exhaled, and a brown mass grew from her anus and touched a spot just below my sternum. The grunt continued, and Zoe made the turd slide out of her fast. In seconds, it grew to six or eight inches, dark and thick, and it slapped gently onto my belly. Zoe crab-walked herself forward just a bit and leaned over again. She inhaled, grunted, and pushed another log out of her arse. It was dark and smelly like the first one, but about six inches long.