Tales from the Stream Ch. 26

Author's Note

A few chapters ago in this series, I wrote a little tale called The Church of Sapphic Love and Poetry. In that installment, the intrepid crew rescue the members of a cult from the creepy clutches of their leader, Reverend Moberg. A lot of you expressed concern in the comments that the reverend was down but not out and he would be back to pray on others.

This chapter should lay some of those concerns to rest.

Word of warning: If you're in this for the sexy bits, you'll be disappointed. This one's all heart and no heat.

*

Onboard The Black Prince

Sister Lúcia sat at the galley table, staring at the tablet computer in her hands. Behind Lúcia, all three Aidoru stood clustered, holding three identical, half unwrapped s'mores flavor granola bars and looking over Lúcia's shoulders. Lúcia moved her eyes from the top left of the tablet screen, to the bottom right, and then back again to the top. Aidoru did the same.

"Blink twice?" mumbled Lúcia. She turned to face the Aidoru closest to her and raised her eyebrows.

All three Aidoru shrugged. The Aidoru closest to Lúcia held out her granola bar.

Lúcia shook her head. "No, merci."

The Aidoru holding the granola bar out to Lúcia, raised it to her own mouth instead and took a bite. The other two Aidoru did the same with theirs.

"Blink twice if you need help," Lúcia mumbled.

"Good morning," said Jade as she entered the galley and headed straight for the cupboard to pull out a black mug with Galaxy's Best Captain stenciled in bright yellow over a background of a full-color image of the Milky Way galaxy. She stuck the mug under the galley dispenser and pressed a button.

"Morning Captain," said Lúcia and Aidoru in unison.

After a few seconds of whirring, the galley dispenser began shooting out a stream of hot tea. When it finished, Captain Jade picked up her mug, blew over the top of it and sat down across from Lúcia and Aidoru.

"Hey," said Amaliya, running her hand through her messy blonde locks as she shuffled through the galley doorway.

"Good morning," said Lúcia, Aidoru, and Jade.

"Is it?" mumbled Amaliya.

"Have some tea," said Jade. "You'll feel better."

Lúcia turned her eyes back to the tablet she held. "Blink twice if you need help," she mumbled, again.

Amaliya pulled a mug from the cupboard and turned to Lúcia. "I'm just being dramatic, honey," she said. "Captain's right. I'll be fine after some tea."

Lúcia shook her head and held the tablet out in Amaliya's direction. On the screen was a woman in a formal, but revealing dress, standing next to a man in a suit with a smug expression on his face. At the bottom of the picture, in white block letters, was printed, "Blink twice if you need help."

"Oh," said Amaliya, turning her eyes from the galley dispenser to the tablet. "Oh that. I thought you meant me. Sorry, I'm not much of a morning person."

"What is it?" asked Lúcia. "This picture with these words?"

"It's a meme, honey."

Captain Jade craned her neck to look at the tablet screen. "That one?" she said. "Wow. I didn't know that was still floating around."

"What does it mean?" asked Lúcia. "No one in the picture is blinking."

"It's a thing," said Amaliya. "Imagine you're in a bad relationship. You want to get out, but--"

"Domestic abuse," said Lúcia.

"Hm," said Captain Jade. "I'm a little surprised a nun would go there so quickly."

"I was not always a nun, Captain."

Three Aidoru stepped forward, tightening the circle around Lúcia. All three Aidoru wrapped their arms around her.

"Sorry," said Jade. "I didn't mean... I'll shut up now."

"I have taken no offense, Captain," said Lúcia.

"I think that perhaps," said Aidoru.

"We should all have our tea first,

"Then we'll feel better."

"Good idea," said Captain Jade, blowing across the top of her mug. "And sorry."

"It's just a meme, honey," said Amaliya, adding her arm to the nest created by Aidoru. "Best not to take anything you see on the net too seriously."

On Mia's farm, near the airlock

Captain Joan stood hunched over a large plastic tub labeled with Grandpa Steponas Authentic on it's side. She had opened the two sections of hinged lid and was rummaging through the tub's contents. On Joan's shoulder, a harvester crab was clinging to her jumpsuit by its pincers and scanning the contents of the crate with its eye stalks. On top of the harvester crab was a tiny red paper fez.

"Good morning, Captain Joan," said Sister Lúcia as she approached. "And good morning Reg."

The harvester crab atop Joan's shoulder turned his eye stalks to Lúcia and bounced up and down. Lúcia responded by scratching his back.

"Hey Lúcia," said Joan, still rummaging in the plastic tub.

"Blink twice if you need help," said Lúcia.

Joan raised her head and stared. "Huh?"

"It is a meme."

"Um, okay." Joan turned her attention back to the tub. After digging around she raised her gaze to Lúcia once again. "I don't suppose you have any lemons in that garden of yours do you?"

Lúcia shook her head.

"Mmph," said Captain Joan, returning to her digging.

"Good morning, most honorable Captain Joan," said Jade, grinning as she approached, walking hand in hand with Amaliya.

"Hey," said Joan, barely looking up.

"And Reg," said Jade. "This is where you've been hanging out? Doing inventory?"

Reg turned his eye stalks to Jade and raised a pincer. Jade met him in mid air with the tips of her fingers. "My man," she said.

Amaliya stepped in and crooked her finger to scratch under Reg's chin while he leaned in to nuzzle her.

"I don't suppose you have any pickled lemons, do you?" asked Joan.

"That's an oddly specific request for this hour of the morning," said Jade.

"Yeah, well," said Joan, pulling her head from the plastic tub and straightening up. "Moira and the other girls want to do Moroccan night for dinner. We've got pretty much everything we need, except lemons. Pickled would be best, but at this point I'm not choosy."

"Explains the fez, I guess."

"You like it?" said Joan.

"Fezzes are cool." Jade held her hand in the air over in Reg's direction. Again, he met her with a raised pincer. His fez began to slip as Reg pushed himself up on his frontmost legs. Amaliya reached in to put it back in place.

Beside the plastic tub, Captain Joan threw her hands in the air and shrugged. "That was the last crate of supplies from home. I guess it's going to be Moroccan night without the lemons."

"Au contraire," said Jade, puffing up her chest. "If 'tis lemons you need, then 'tis lemons you shall have."

"You know the galley only makes tea and Marmite, right?" said Amaliya.

"Not the galley dispenser, baby. Online shopping." Jade grinned. "Lúcia, may I borrow your tablet, please?"

"No," said Amaliya. "You are not ordering lemons from Borneo Prime."

"Not Borneo Prime, Sum Total Foods Market."

"You know that's just a subsidiary, right? Borneo bought them back in... I don't know, a while ago."

"Okay," said Jade, beginning to pace. "Okay. No problem. Who wants to hop in the ole ship and go for a ride? Anyone?" Jade stopped pacing and pushed her hand high into the air. "Plundering for lemons? Anyone?"

Joan shrugged. "Sure, I guess."

"You sound so enthused," said Jade. And then turning to Lúcia and Aidoru. "Lúcia?"

Lúcia looked at Aidoru. Aidoru nodded and Lúcia began nodding as well.

"Amaliya? Baby?"

"Promise me we'll look for something locally owned and independent. Not some mega-chain."

"Deal," said Jade. "I get the ship prepped. Somebody tell Moira help is on the way."

"Blink twice," mumbled Lúcia.

Jim Morrison Memorial Space Elevator, Orbital Terminus

"I'm glad you decided to come along," said Amaliya, laying her hand on Emily's shoulder. "We're all on the same space station and I feel like I hardly see you anymore these days."

On the other side of Emily, Jamie was grinning madly. Emily poked Jamie in the shoulder. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to. We've been busy--"

"It's okay," said Amaliya, "we'll catch up at dinner. It's going to be fun, don't you think? Moroccan night?"

"It has been some time since we have all sat down to break bread together," said Lúcia. At her side, one Aidoru was nodding in agreement while the other two were staring at the selection of candy bars encased behind the polycarbonate front of a vending machine.

"Okay, everybody find your buddy," said Captain Jade. A top her shoulder, Reg turned his eye stalks this way and that, surveying the group. "Elevator's almost here," said Jade. "Come on, Aidoru. You too. All of you."

The two Aidoru standing before the vending machine let out an audible pair of sighs and slumped their shoulders before turning around to march back to the group. The LED sign above the elevator changed from reading :01, to :00, and then finally changed to a downward pointing arrow. A descending three-note chime followed.

"Come on gang," said Joan.

"Make sure you have your buddy," said Jade.

Planetside

"Something seems different from last time," said Joan, as she led the group through the door into the open air lobby.

"It's raining." said Emily. "Smells nice."

"Besides that," said Joan.

"No true believers pushing flowers on you and asking for donations," mumbled Jamie.

"Oh, yeah," said Joan. "I think that's it."

"Refreshing," said Jade. Atop her shoulder, Reg turned a tight circle, focusing his eye stalks here and there until finally settling his gaze on the Free WiFi sign and its accompanying QR code.

As Reg was focused on the sign, his fez began to slip. Amaliya reached in to push it back in place.

"Blink twice if you need help," whispered Lúcia.

"I got it," said Amaliya.

"Lúcia, cherie," said Aidoru.

"It's beginning to wear thin.

"Perhaps a new meme?"

Lúcia shook her head. "No. Not a meme. Look."

All three Aidoru turned their heads to follow where Lúcia pointed. Amaliya, Jade, and the others did the same. Near a small alcove, a young woman and a man with a beard appeared to be having a heated conversation. He kept his hand on her arm, despite her trying to pull away.

Lúcia stood on her tiptoes, craning her neck toward the woman. "Blink twice if you need help," she hollered.

The man and woman briefly paused and turned toward the crew. The young woman held her palm up, facing outward.

"See they're fine," said Jade.

The woman then tucked her thumb in and closed her fingers over it.

"Motherfucker," said Jamie as she began marching forward.

"What?" said Jade. "What did I miss?"

"The hand sign she just made," said Amaliya, already taking a stride. "Palm out. Thumb tucked. Fingers closed around. It means she's in trouble."

"Hey, isn't that--?" said Joan.

"The Reverend Moberg," finished Jade.

"Not on my watch," said Joan, falling in line behind Jamie. "This shit is not going down on my watch."

"Hang on Reg," said Jade. "Come on, crew!"

The group marched forward as one with Jamie in the lead, cracking her knuckles.

"I can't believe that skeazy bastard gave us the slip," said Jade.

"Are you alright?" said Amaliya to the young woman, who was staring at the ground.

"It's not like we don't know where the piece of shit lives," said Jamie.

"True," said Joan.

"It's okay," said Amaliya to the woman. "Take your time. It's scary, isn't it?"

"We are here to help in whatever way we can," said Lúcia. Beside her, Aidoru nodded.

"Who are you people, anyway?" said the woman. "The police?"

"No ma'am," said Lúcia. "We're space pirates."

The young woman hitched briefly and threw her hand over her mouth to suppress something that may have started as a laugh, but ended up as a small snort. "Um... Okay..."

"Would you like us to walk you home?" said Amaliya.

"Yeah," said Joan. "It's no problem at all. Just point the way and we've got your back."

On top of Jade's shoulder, Reg turned his eye stalks to the woman and bounced twice. As he did, his fez began to slip. The young woman reached out to right it again.

"I'm staying at a friend's place," said the woman. "She's at work right now, so..."

"A friend's place?" said Amaliya, nodding her head. "I've been there too, honey. No shame. Want us to take you to the shelter?"

"No... I'm fine."

Aidoru stepped forward. "This crew before you," she said.

"We are not just space pirates."

"We are lesbians."

The young woman stared. "Um... Okay..."

"She is not swooning," said Aidoru, turning to Amaliya.

"I thought lesbian pirates

"Made all women swoon"

The young woman covered her mouth again, but this time her laugh came out at full volume. "I'm flattered," she said. "Really, I am. Y'all are so nice. But I'm pretty much straight."

"Don't worry," said Emily, wrapping her hand around Jamie's bicep and resting her head against Jamie's shoulder. "We can take care of that if you change your mind..."

"We're happy to help," said Amaliya.

The young woman smirked. On top of Jade's shoulder, Reg rolled his eye stalks in a wide circle.

"Nah, I'm good," said the woman. "Really. I just don't need any creepy old dudes trying to sell me on new age religion."

"We should have kicked his ass when we had the chance," said Jamie.

"I tend to agree," said Jade.

"I'm Avianna, by the way. You can call me Avie." The young woman extended her hand. "I take it you know this guy?"

"We've met before," said Jade.

"Sprung a few of his brainwashed converts from his clutches awhile back," said Jamie. "Unfortunately, we neglected to break his legs at the time. Not gonna make that mistake again."

Behind Jamie, Lúcia chewed her lip.

"Don't worry," said Captain Joan, laying a hand on Lúcia's shoulder. "She was speaking metaphorically. Right, cousin?"

Jamie said nothing and began cracking her knuckles one at a time.

"Right, Jamie?" said Joan.

"We should swing by his compound," said Jade. "Just to make sure he's not gathering the flock again."

"He's obviously trying," said Avie. "Mind if I tag along?"

"You sure you want to do that?" asked Amaliya.

"Wouldn't do it by myself," said Avie, "But with you lot... I think I'm in good hands."

Amaliya smiled. "You wouldn't happen to know of a place that sells pickled lemons that's on the way, would you? Preferably a locally-owned small business vendor."

"As a matter of fact, I do."

"They take Dogecoin?" asked Jade.

"I think so."

"So this is his lair," said Avie, crouching behind a row of shrubs with the others. "Looks deserted."

"There is a surprising lack of activity," said Jade.

"Dude knows we're on to him, that's all," said Joan.

"Fuck it," said Jamie, "I'm going in."

On top of Captain Jade's shoulder, Reg straightened all eight of his legs simultaneously and turned his eye stalks to Jamie. He then crouched down and jumped from Jade's shoulder to hers.

Reg raised a pincer to tap at Jamie's shoulder.

"Recon?" said Jamie. "Sure, if you're up for it."

"Um," said Avie, "what just happened here."

"Reg knows Morse code," said Jade.

"Jamie was in the Space Marines ROTC," said Emily.

"Oh," said Avie. "Okay. So she knows Morse?"

Emily nodded.

"Jade was in the Navy," said Jamie, "but we try not to hold that against her."

Jade narrowed her eyes and Avie shook her head slowly. While this was happening, Reg made the leap from Jamie's shoulder to the ground. On eight little legs, he skittered under the bushes and toward the compound.

Amaliya reached down and plucked up his fez out of the dirt and dusted it off while Avie looked on. "It's Moroccan food night for dinner," said Amaliya.

Avie nodded. "Explains the fez, I guess. And the pickled lemons."

"You wanna stop by for dinner?" asked Amaliya. "We usually vote on this kind of thing, but it's just dinner. I don't think anyone would mind setting an extra plate."

Amaliya looked around the group, but everyone was watching Reg.

Avie grinned. "You still trying to convert me?"

"It's just dinner."

"Yeah sure, why not."

"He's in," said Jamie.

Amaliya and Avie turned to stare at the main building of the compound with everyone else.

A few minutes later, Reg exited the compound and turned his pincers skyward and to the sides as he marched back across the lawn.

"I guess nobody's home," said Jamie.

"Well, shoot," said Jade.

"Slippery bastard," said Joan.

Back on Mia's Farm

Avie sat cross-legged in the meadow, between Amaliya on her left and Captain Jade on her right. In her hand she held an upturned flower head from a purple coneflower. As Amaliya raised her own flower head to her lips and made slurping sounds, Avie did the same.

"Good tea," said Avie, grinning.

"I'm pleased you like it," said Mia. "And welcome."

"Talking scarecrow," said Avie. "Love it."

"I'm not really a scarecrow," whispered Mia. "I'm the command and control interface for this station. But tea parties are so much more fun when we dress up, don't you think?"

"Definitely," said Avie, as a pair of harvester crabs skittered over dragging a necklace made of clover chained together. "Thank you," she said, helping them get it over her head.

"I'd say they like you," said Amaliya.

Avie touched her fingertips to the clover and smiled.

From just beyond the airlock, Novice Lenore dressed in her black jumpsuit and white headdress, was pushing a cart with two large soup tureens. Beside her, also with a cart of tureens was Moira, dressed in a tie-dyed Summer of 69 babydoll and a pair of baggy shorts.

All eyes turned to Moira as she spoke. "Welcome to Moroccan night," she said, grinning. "Tonight we'll be serving a vegetarian take on Harira. In this soup, you'll find chickpeas, lentils, tomato, onion, carrots, and celery with a wonderful mix of spices. And of course, lemon. Thanks to Captain Jade."

Captain Jade straightened up and smiled.

As Moira paused, a dozen harvester crabs wearing tiny fezzes trailed out from behind her. One at a time, they ducked under the cart to the lowest shelf and came out carrying empty soup bowls on their backs.

"This night wouldn't be possible without everyone's help. Particularly Darius and his gang of volunteers serving as wait staff tonight."

The harvester crab leading the parade of soup bowls paused to raise a pincer in the air. Amaliya began to applaud and soon the others followed suit.

"This is a trip," said Avie, watching the procession of crabs as they marched to where Lenore and Moira stood waiting with ladles.

"I suppose everybody's family has its quirks," said Amaliya. "And I just love mine."

"I can see why." Avie accepted a steaming bowl of soup from a passing harvester crab. "Thank you," she said. "It smells delicious. You eat like this every night?"

"Not always," said Amaliya. "Sometimes it's granola bars and emergency rations, but Lúcia's amazing with plants. So we've got a garden started here on Mia's station."

"I may have let things get a little out of control with wildflowers," said Mia.

"Maybe." Avie grinned as she looked around. "But, it's so beautiful. I've never seen anything like it."

"The harvester crabs help with the garden when they're not serving soup," said Jade.

"They're adorable," said Avie, reaching out to touch her finger to the back of a passing crab.

Conversation turned to silence and a clattering of spoons as everyone concentrated on their soup. The harvester crab wait staff, having finished their duties for the moment, each found a convenient lap to occupy.

"Hey there," said Avie, reaching down to scratch the back of the crab ascending her leg. "What's your name?"

The crab tapped rhythmically at Avie's knee.