Tales of the Apprentice 01 Ch. 06

"All magic is evil, lad," the mercenary continued. "You shouldn't have joked about it, that first night when you told me that you and the lady were mages. It is not a laughing matter."

Galen shrugged.

"What if there are forms of magic that aren't evil?"

Raven shook his head.

"I know of no such thing. Evil is evil, lad. Beware of it. Those things..."

He gestured at the indistinct shapes that were still standing there, watching them, just outside the firelight.

"Those things have been created by it, I'm sure," he continued. "They do have that look and feel about them. I'm certain."

Galen slowly nodded. He'd probably said everything that was safe to say, and maybe too much already.

Then, suddenly, he felt a wave of Energy. Unsurprisingly, it was coming from Serana's tent. He knew that feeling. He'd felt it before, when she had given herself an orgasm. Offhand, his guess was that she wasn't just doing it because she craved release. More likely this was a magical working, and it might have something to do with her previous conversation with Raven. Galen felt reassured. He was rather acutely aware how much he was out of his depth when it came to his suspicions about Raven's past. Whatever it was, Serana would be able to deal with it much better. He glanced at the mercenary, but if Raven had been aware of the Energetic release at all, he was hiding it extremely well. As far as Galen could tell, Raven was not sensitive to the Energies in any way.

The night progressed without incident. By the time the first gray daylight began to seep through the gloom Galen's eyes were feeling gritty, and his head felt like it was padded with cotton wool, but he was sure he could manage. The ominous figures surrounding their campsite had faded back into the shadows as soon as the first hint of light had announced itself, and that was far more important than a few hours of missed sleep.

When Serana emerged from her tent, Galen caught her eye. She shook her head, almost imperceptibly. Galen took the hint. This was not the time to discuss anything.

After breakfast they broke camp and saddled the horses. Before they rode off, Raven walked back into the clearing. He looked around, sighed, and drew his knife. With the tip of it he pierced his thumb until a drop of blood came out. He let it fall onto the ground. He gazed at the wilted vegetation with an indecipherable expression on his face. Then he sighed again, turned, and mounted.

"There are better ways than that, you know," Serana told him.

He gave her a long and thoughtful look.

"Perhaps, my lady," was all he said.

Once again they rode down the narrow trail single file with Raven in the lead and Galen taking up the rear. He was hoping for a chance to discuss his many questions with Serana, but unfortunately there was no opportunity to do so. They rode for most of the day before the trees gradually began to thin out, and shortly before dusk they cleared the forest. The landscape they emerged into was mostly flat. Raven looked around, a slightly concerned expression on his face.

"We need to find a good place to spend the night," he said. "One that is sufficiently protected. Should our fire or torches fail, we will need something that is easily defensible."

"We'll find something," Serana said, her voice unworried. "We should have at least an hour of daylight left."

Raven nodded and rode on ahead of them. Galen pulled up his horse next to Serana's.

"I need to talk with you," he whispered.

Serana smiled.

"Yes. I know," was all she said.

"I think our mercenary is a black mage," Galen continued. "Or at the very least he used to be. He may be no longer. I'm not quite sure yet."

Serana shook her head.

"No. You're half right, though:. he does know a few things about black magic. But that's not because he has practiced it. It's because he has been the victim of a black mage. And as far as I understand it, he has not yet shaken off its effects. He is still under some sort of dark spell. I haven't managed to get to all the details yet, but for the moment it's nothing you have to be concerned about. We'll discuss it further when we have a chance. This isn't the time."

They came to little hill a few minutes later. A little stream gurgled nearby and the ground was covered with lush, green grass.

"How about here?" Galen asked.

Raven shook his head.

"The light from our torches would be visible for miles," he said. "There are the more mundane dangers to worry about as well, other than than the ones we saw last night. We shouldn't announce our presence widely. But I do suggest we fill our water bags here. Good water isn't something we can afford to pass up on."

The stream was clear and fresh, and filling the water bags only took a few minutes before they moved on. Eventually they found a spot sheltered by enough trees and undergrowth to make sure the light of the fire and torches wouldn't travel too far. Dinner was a little sketchy; their food was beginning to run low and Raven did not want to take the risk of going out to hunt, given the circumstances.

"It's not too serious," Serana told him. "We're almost there. All we have to worry about is breakfast tomorrow morning, and we have enough food left for that."

After they had eaten and made their camp ready for the night, Serana insisted that she and Galen should take the first watch. Galen agreed. Raven had not had any sleep the previous night, and while the mercenary didn't really show any signs of fatigue, he had to be feeling it by now.

"But first it's time we all had a little talk," Serana said. "Raven, as you may have begun to suspect by now, I am a mage. A sex mage, to be precise. Galen here is my apprentice."

Galen was stunned. Wasn't that supposed to be secret?

"Normally I would never tell anyone about this," Serana said, seeing the expression on Galen's face. "But this time I'm fairly sure the exception is warranted, since we are all more than passingly familiar with magic. Wouldn't you agree, Raven?"

The mercenary stared at her in horror.

"My lady..." he began.

"Serana, please," she said calmly. "You can say my name, you know. You won't accidentally curse me. You're far too careful for that. And you're far too good a man."

"With all due respect, my lady... Serana... You know nothing about me."

"Perhaps. But I've pieced a few things together and I can make a few educated guesses by now. I know you feel terribly guilty about things that happened to you in the past. I know that you're far older than you look, and that you lead a homeless life to conceal the fact that you don't age like other people do. I also know you have had at least a serious brush with blood magic and maybe even death magic, that you have been forced to do terrible things under its influence and that you deeply regret all of that. How am I doing so far?"

Raven said nothing.

"I also know that you're a tortured man, Raven," Serana continued. "But it's time you stopped trying to punish yourself. If you want to make up for some of the things that happened to you, I can show you a better way. Blood magic won't accomplish very much on its own, you know, and I'm sure you will never go anywhere near death magic. In fact I'm fairly sure you'll want to avoid any form of magic at all, and that business about leaving a drop of your blood on the ground this morning was more in the nature of a peace offering than anything else. But there are two sides to every coin, Raven. Not all magic is dark. The sex magic we practice is white magic. Nobody gets hurt."

"Are you saying it can't be used for evil?" Raven said skeptically. "I know nothing about sex magic, but I do find that hard to believe."

"Of course one can use it for evil. Everything can, if you really want to. Take that sword of yours, for example. You can use it to defend good people from bad ones, or you can use it to murder the innocent for your own gain. It's how you choose to use it that makes the difference."

"But most choices, once made, can never be unmade," Raven said, shaking his head. "My own included."

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. But we can help you, Raven," Serana said.

"No. You can't. You may have guessed a few things about me, but you don't know me. You don't know what I've done."

"So tell her," Galen said. "What have you got to lose? You can trust her. I promise."

"It's not that, lad. It's..."

"Galen," Galen said mildly. "My name is Galen."

Raven smiled. It was a faint and sad smile, but it was still a smile. He nodded slowly.

"And mine is Corvis. Or rather, it used to be. I haven't gone by that name for so long that I've all but forgotten it. So Raven will do, as far as I'm concerned. Corvis was someone else."

For a few long moments he was silent and stared into the fire.

"When I was a young man, I was a soldier," he finally continued. "I should have been perfect for the job: I was young, strong, fit, and not too bright. I didn't plan on becoming a soldier. I never was much of a fighter when I was a lad. But I didn't have many skills, and I needed work. So when the recruiters came along, I decided to give it a try."

He gazed into the fire for a few more moments, then he shivered.

"My first battle was also my last one. I took a sword in the belly, and then a spear through my chest to finish me off. I don't remember much after that. Just an intense cold, and darkness, and more pain than I have ever felt before or since."

He shivered again and moved closer to the fire, but the cold he felt clearly didn't come from the cool night air.

"Galen, would you hand me my pack, please?" Serana asked.

Galen got up and returned with the leather-wrapped bundle. She opened it and took out a small flagon. She unstoppered it and held it out to Raven.

"I promise you that this is entirely mundane, but it can work magic sometimes," she said. "You look like you could use some of it."

Raven took the flagon, sniffed at it, took a sip and almost choked.

"Thank you... I think," he said after a while, his voice slightly hoarse. "What is this stuff?"

"A friend of mine makes it," Serana said. "It's a bit strong, but it has its uses."

Raven nodded, handing the flagon back to Serana. She replaced the stopper and put it back into her pack. Raven paused, apparently gathering his thoughts. At least the liquor seemed to have restored him somewhat.

"I don't know how much time passed before I woke up," he continued. "When I did, I was lying on a table. Next to me was the body of a young woman. Her skin was deadly pale and there was blood on her chest. I felt deadly cold, but the wounds in my chest and stomach were gone. I didn't understand."

He paused, remembering, then continued.

"A man was standing next to the table. His hands were bloody. He spoke, and I remember his words as if he had spoken them just now. 'By the life of the maiden that paid for yours, and by the blood that was yours but is now mine, I command you', he said. Then he told me to rise. And I felt myself move. My body sat up, then stood. I tried to move, but I could not. Only when he commanded me, I could obey. That was all."

Serana nodded.

"A binding spell," she said. "Blood magic of the worst kind. That's of course apart from the necromancy that he used to resurrect you. Death magic."

"I'm... I'm still not sure," Raven said softly. "Was I dead? Or just unconscious?"

"It's impossible to say after all this time," Serana said. "But does it really matter? None of it was your fault, or even your doing."

"Perhaps," Raven said. "I'm not so sure. In the long years that followed I never even tried to resist. I never tried to escape. I didn't even think about what I was doing. And I did... horrible things. I followed orders without questioning, without thinking. No matter how ghastly, how beastly..."

Again he fell silent.

"Binding spells through blood magic are like that," Serana said. "There was nothing you could have done. In a very real sense, it wasn't you who did these things, Raven. You were reduced to a tool, nothing more. You can't blame yourself for any of it."

"It went on and on... It went on for a lifetime," the mercenary continued, as if he hadn't heard her. "More than a lifetime, even. And I remember all of it. Each and every man and woman... I still see their faces at night. I see their blood on my hands, on my sword. I still hear their screams. Men, women, young, old... My master commanded, and I slew. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. With every atrocity he grew stronger, and the stronger he became, the more innocent victims he managed to call to him."

He shivered again, and the look on his face was a mixture of horror and self-loathing.

"So many..." he whispered. "So many... And never did I question what I was doing. Not once."

"How did it end?" Serana asked. "How did you manage to break free?"

"Through no accomplishment of my own, my lady... Serana. As I'm sure you've guessed, it was not far from here that it happened. It was at the place where we camped last night."

Galen slowly nodded.

"I thought it might have been something like that," he said. "You were clearly familiar with it, and you knew what had happened there."

"You are perceptive, lad... Galen. Yes, you are right, of course. My master was traveling through these woods. It was an entirely different forest in those days. I followed him, of course, as I always did, without questioning. It was there, the place where we camped last night, that a vision appeared before us. As I remember it, it was a very old man dressed in a long, dark robe. It was difficult to see. The apparition was faint and hazy. It looked like mist, almost. I could see the trees behind it, but not clearly. My master spoke with it. At least I think he did, but I could not hear what they were saying. They seemed to speak, at least; their lips were moving, but there was no sound. They spoke a long time. Finally the apparition vanished. My master turned around and told me to stay where I was. Then he disappeared. I don't mean he walked away. He literally vanished into thin air. One moment he was there, the next he wasn't."

Serana nodded thoughtfully, as if she understood him, but she said nothing.

"I stayed where I was, of course," Raven continued. "I could do nothing else. I stood there for the rest of the day until the sun set. Then I stood there all night until the sun rose again. I stood there for four days and three nights before my legs gave way under me. Then I fell, but still I remained where I was. It was all I could do. I think I lay there for more than a week. I should have died, or at least I should have grown very weak for lack of water and food. But I didn't. Instead I watched everything around me die."

Ravens face turned grim.

"Everything died. Birds, trees, brushes, the grass... The birds fell out of the trees, dead. The trees turned brown and lost their leaves, and the grass withered on the ground. Nothing survived. Except me."

He sighed, a haunted look in his eyes.

"As I lay there, I gradually began to regain some control over my body. I noticed that I could move a finger, a hand, eventually an arm. After several days I managed to sit up. I was clumsy at first but eventually I regained full control over my movements once more. By then, everything around me was dead."

"Does that still happen?" Serena asked.

Raven nodded.

"I soon noticed that if I stay in one place too long, everything about me becomes... unhealthy. Sickly. Ten days, two weeks... Then it begins. Cows no longer give milk, chickens cease to lay eggs. Another week or so and disease begins to set in. People fall prey to it, too. Eventually crops begin to fail. Those around me were more alert to it than I was, I suppose. I've had to flee for my life several times, pursued by villagers bent on burning a witch, before I saw it myself. But eventually I would have had to move on in any case, because over the years I noticed that I did not age like other men do."

He sighed, and for a brief moment his eyes flashed with a pain that was beyond description.

"Killing is all I'm good for," he said softly. "That is why I became a traveling mercenary. It is the only life I can have. It is the only skill I have. This way I can at least be selective about the death I inflict and I can limit myself to killing miscreants who would harm the innocent. But there's no doubt about it: I am cursed. I am a scourge unto the world. I spread sickness and death wherever I go, and I am doomed to do so for all eternity."

Serana shook her head.

"You are neither cursed nor a scourge," she told him. "And you're certainly not doomed. You are merely under a spell. It's one of the darkest spells of all black magic, I'll grant you, but still it's only a spell. And spells can be lifted."

"More magic?" the mercenary asked heatedly. "If there's one thing I have learned throughout these endlessly long years, it's that fighting evil with evil merely brings forth more evil."

"Not all magic is evil, Raven," Galen said softly. "As Serana said, there are two sides to every coin. You've only seen one. There's another one as well."

"How much do you know about these matters?" Raven demanded. "Have you seen what I have seen? Felt what I have felt? Suffered as long as I have?"

"No. I know and I have seen only a little," Galen admitted. "But I do know that you can trust Serana when it comes to this sort of thing. I already told you that, remember? She is a powerful mage, and I am her apprentice. I was telling you the truth. It's not my fault you didn't believe me."

Raven smiled ruefully.

"A sex mage, you said?"

"Yes. Well, Serana was the one who said it, but that's beside the point. The important thing is that she almost certainly can help you, and I will do what I can to help her help you. And while I still know little about it, I do know that we are not the only ones. There are others like us."

Raven looked skeptical.

"Would your... sex magic, if that's the word, be able to overcome such powerful black magic as I represent? I doubt it, lad."

"It will certainly be somewhat challenging," Serana admitted calmly. "But to give up before we have even tried anything is the surest way to defeat. We are traveling to meet friends, as I told you. When we get there, why don't we all look into this? There's bound to be some way we can help you."

She reached out and took the mercenary's hand.

"You have suffered enough, Raven," she said softly. "Bare is the back that has no friend behind it. Let's at least see what we can do."

"I don't think you can do anything, my lady," Raven said, lapsing back into his old mode of address.

Serana smiled.

"Won't you give me a chance to try, at least? And Galen here is full of surprises, too. So far he's been a challenging apprentice, but he definitely shows some promise."

Raven stared into the fire. His inner turmoil was clearly visible on his face.

"Through no fault of your own, the spell you are under causes you to absorb the life force that surrounds you," Serana continued. "Because the spell is the result of death magic, it uses the same methods as death magic does: it robs all living things around you of its life force. Our magic is different: we apply our own life force, using sex as a means to liberate and release it, in order to accomplish our goals. It's an entirely different thing from the magic you have known so far."

"You don't have to decide right now, Raven," Galen said. "Take your time thinking about it. We can always find each other again later."

Serana nodded.

"Galen is right. There's no hurry to make up your mind about us. Right now you need rest more than anything. So get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day."

Raven stared into the fire, sighed and nodded.