All Comments on 'Talk to the Hand'

Like the header says. A realistic (to my legally inexpert mind) ending, well written. Though some of the characters seemed a little two dimensional at times.

wrote. It is very much what I would have done, yes I have been divorced but not in such a negative way. Protecting the children is the first real concern and the mother was not even interested in the children nor their welfare. I have seen real life stories like this and in most cases neither the mother nor the user were jailed but they were hit pretty hard by the courts in the divorce case. In reality I cant think of one case in which we knew the mother cheated that the children would have been better off with the mother. That you for some realism in this long extended story.

Unusual for Loving Wives. Most readers will enjoy this ending but most Authors would have him eating cream pies for the rest of his life. I guess the Authors just don't get it.

than the "take no prisoners" approach. Although in this case I guess prisoners were taken.

This could have been fleshed out a bit more and with deeper emotions but it got the job done.

Regards, Jack

But not great. I know it is my vindictive nature but I wanted to know more about Susan's pain through all of this. She said she loved Jonathan so there had to be some pain on her part for losing him, the children and of course the other jailbird.

Thank you for your efforts, I really did like the way he responded and everything up to the point of not finding out about how she felt.

Charleybear

Although the ending was a little too pat! Should have used more detail and stayed more with the "torn between to lovers" theme, rather than demonize the cheaters and be done with it. I still gotta give you a hundred for a definitive and correct "No Wimps" ending that does not leave the husband looking like a cuckold fool.

I believe Dynamite Jack said it all for me.

Thank you for the entertainment and your effort.

Please write more.

PT

Dynamite Jack hit it on the nose. This is a logical story, well plotted with fresh angle and a logical conclusion. The characters "stayed" in character, and the reactions are logical, but it lacked the emotional aspect that would have made a satisfying read. I know the author wanted to give his voice to this tale, but there was more meat to this story and the readers "felt" it.

BUT I do love your stories. Thank you for writing!

i really don't understand cuckholds. group sex, open marriage, sure. agreement between the parties is the key. oh, well, it takes all kinds.

one technical point, though. A party to an action (divorce) can't serve papers on the other party. A third person has to do it.

Very good , I like your ending more than Nici. She is a very good writer but she needs to understand that all men are not wimps especialy when pushed into a corner. Thank you for this ending.

A lesbian should only put on shows for a bunch of horney men with another lesbian. There's nothing than watching two women eating each other iout. What lesbians should do, other than the case outlined, is to keep out of real peoples lives.

But it would have been nice to write a story about Franklin meeting Bubba in prison.

bring it rest. i like the conclusion, but i hope to not read anymore sequels/takes or whatever of that story.

I don't think it could ever (IRL) go down as this story describes, but it makes an excellent story and fantasy. Reminds me of that song by Toby Keith and Willie Nelson (whiskey for my men, and beer for my horses).

It was Cindy(who has apparently now dissapeared)who told of what her mother had been doing,an NOT Nancy.The 'other man' was called Peter,not Franklin.Do your research properly.

I have to admit, It was a relief to read a coherent narrative of marital consequences that at least made emotional sense on the husband’s side. It’s still hard to figure out the character of the woman as it was in the original, but than again I don’t think that was the main purpose of your sequel… <P>

IMO, you went a bit too far from the original wife’s character to allow me to fully enjoy a “corrective” follow up. In my mind in the original she was too self righteous and cunning to ever admit that that she might be destroying her family AND her children’s life with her ongoing cheating. For sure, she would self righteously tell herself that by no means she would never hurt her children. And that she would keep their lives absolutely ‘separate’ and ‘protected’ As if by not bringing her lover to their home she indeed protects them. <P>

I wish you kept more of her original traits, and then give her more rope to hang herself with the follow up of her own lies. It could have played out for example by gradually increasing her separation between the husband and the kids; reducing income from the husband as he spends more time with the kids but lives separately from her (but still in the house); then making her life in the house intolerable (no violence or anything illegal) so that she would flee from the house on her own wish.

but it's done solidly enough to be enjoyable. in real life, these days, with a lot of child molestors running around, the rendition on how he went ballistic over finding out that his two kids had witnessed the woman having sex in their house and had been threatened by their own mother in psychological ways,,,, this is more realitic than most of the other renditions,,,,,,,

,,,, NICI still takes the prize for having created two equally "strong" characters! LOLLLLLL That woman is really funny, I have to admit.

Seamless transition? No. But that's OK as it put you in your comfort zone to roll forth with your story of consequence. Accept it and go on was my outlook.

And you did go on to a very satisfying conclusion to what was an abortion of reason and reality that you had to work from.

KUDO's Author - you and your respectful reality are much like the spring air looked forward to. Both have promise of better things to come. As would another story from you.

With Very High Regard

If this were a stand alone story, I would say it was well done. Howver, as a sequal to Nici's original it seems to change the character of Susan. In Nici's original, Susan appeared to be naive,unrealistic and quite self-rightous, but not truly evil.In this version, she seems to be a truly evil bitch, who doesn't care about her husband or the children. As a result her punishment seems over the top for Nici's Susan,but appropriare for this evil version.

The Ct. Yankee

This conclusion would have been better had you not changed the names from the original story. It didn't flow very well with the original but had a nice ending none the less.

We enjoyed how you brought the two stories together even though there were a very minor discrepancies. Perhaps, most enjoyable was the fact, the husband did not turn out to be a wimp as protrayed in Nici's story. The ex-slut wife got her "just-reward" for her outrageous attitude & behavior. Thank you, author for your efforts and quite an improvement from your previous work.

the two of them in this story are lucky to have gotten off so lightly. Myself I would never touch either one of them. But I have friends, that without talking to me, would step in and sort out what was left.

The reason Susan quit writing is probably some dyke in the prison made Susan her new Sex Toy for her own use inside.

This story is very well organized and written. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thank you. RAG

This story is very well organized and written. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thank you. RAG

There are never enough levels of Hell for a cheating spouse!!!

Well done author!

the epilogue. You dont wish people well no matter how long has passed if they attempt to destroy you, your family, and your children. You can say I forgive you your stupid acts but I will never forget how stupid and unfeeling you really are.

Richard and Nici were too liberal politically correct to se tha the bastards got what was coming to them

deserves at all! What she shoulda got was 10 years at hard labor at some pen out in the middle of a desert being fuked by bull dykes with strapons THEN if having behaved released and have that record that would be pressed hard and followed up by 10 more years of probation.

3 years for having sex in front of your children. They don't give you that for murder.

You tell a good tale when you try. Although you have not submitted anything for several years, I hope someday you will consider writing again. I think you have real talent and thank you for having shared your stories with us.

That is a very realistic sentence. Great ending and thanks for not making the man a wimp!!!!

For a short story, it did a good job of finishing out the original story. Thanks.....

Nicci puts way to much man hating venom into the crap she wrote. This one at least did have the bitch Susan win.

Ridiculous plot and change of original story where the wife was deluded, but not evil. The legal consequences here are also absurd and impossible (one does not get disbarred for sleeping with another's wife, etc.).

Not bad for an add on. Oh by the way to the earlier commenter yes you will be disbarred for committing adultery and being convicted of sex acts in the presence of minor children. It is called violating the morals clause you signed when passing the Bar.

It would appear to me that no writer can continue someone elses' story without changing the characters and thus changing the story. I have read several sequels now and used to get a bit upset that they were not the same character. Now I just consider the sequel as a stand alone story.

Thanks for sharing.

Great ending to this multi-author tale with Nici starting and destroying the situation, Poorrichard making his version better but then your version finished it the way it should be, with Susan and her lawyer lover going to prison. The only way to have made it better was to have them die in prison but oh well, you can't have everything. I didn't see Thecelt's take on this but if someone knows about it please tell me (Duna?) Anyway, i liked this ending. Good revenge.

OH YEAH

you need to provide a link to the original stories if you are writing a sequel to someone else's work. why the hell would i spend 10 mins searching for another story to read before this one and then come back?

the fat cock lustily smoked, the cornhole buggered, betrayed!

And well conceived -

Malpractice does get disbarment - he had a history of issues and this sealed his fate -

Evil or a moron she got what she deserved - calculated abuse and deceit should carry a price - exposing the kids should as well - whether p[art of the original or not is is part of the ending heh -

So...every time a kid wanders into mommie and daddy's bedroom, the parents are guilty of forcing children to witness lewd acts? There is a MOTIVE and a shamelessness which seems absent on mom's part. At least enough to get the DA to take notice.

It is POSSIBLE if the DA happened to want to push this issue due to friendship et al.

I also missed ANY sense of love or compassion from the wife. Yes, this is the wife from the Nici tales, but she wasn't as horrid as THIS woman appears to be.

FD45 this is not about mommy and daddy. From a lot of your comments it seems like you go out of your way to be douchey. A lot of your comments leave the impression that you are trying to impress everyone with your so called intellectual superiority. This story isn't the most realistic I've seen, but your comments suck.

@FD45

What the hell is your major malfunction?! Like the Anon right below this comment said, you seem to go out of your way to be a fuckin' douchebag. I've seen your comments on other tales besides just mine. Good tales, but you find fault with every little detail, it seems. I respected you as an author at one point, but unfortunately, you've killed that respect by constantly running down good authors on here for no apparent reason.

You make asinine comments, then if the author responds with anything other than complete respect for you, you accuse them of being "thin skinned." News flash, hotshot: "Thin skinned" I'm not, but when you come onto MY tale and make a statement that shows that YOU have never been betrayed by someone you loved, you have NO RIGHT to judge those who do BTB tales who HAVE been betrayed in that way.

That's all I have to say about that part.

Outstanding take on the whole mess. I wrote my own, but I appreciate yours as well. Great job!

5 Stars!

Also, my apologies for putting the comment below this one there, but FD enjoys running down other authors.

In front of the children, in the living room.

And as far as I know parents do not threaten their children over seeing the parents have sex.

And don't you lock the bedroom door ?

You keep calling me out so here I am.

You seem pretty frigging brave for a guy who turns off his 'PM' function because he's afraid to 'take it outside' but whatever. I would prefer to do this personally, but you prefer to hide. Let's do this.

Let me take this slow so you can understand. I'll use bullet points.

Many authors have thanked me for pointing out some tips or weak points. Many posters have agreed with my comments. Some are less popular but no one is correct all the time.

I praise just as well as I critique. Ask FTDS.

Considering how often I am called a cuck, a fag, or (your favorite) a douchebag, I think that actually directing comments toward a STORY instead of a PERSON is pretty respectable.

I find your logic of 'Poor Little Me...I am allowed to make morally questionable actions because I was cheated on' laughable. It is a logical fallacy called 'An appeal to sympathy'. I actually extend such sympathy to the cheated. That I don't dole it out in the quantities that excuse rape, torture and murder seems to trouble you. Why is that? It seems that cheating excuses murder in your eyes. But *I* have the problem. Sure I do...whatever you say, Bunky.

I specifically put this here instead of your stories so you can't just pretend this conversation never happened.

So I am a douchebag. Enjoy the vinegar.

@FD45

"Poor little me?" Really? You have absolutely no clue, dude. I stay off of your tales, so you stay off of mine. You think you're better than everyone else, so I've called you out. Put your email address on the PM, and we'll do it that way. I'm done turning a good author's Comments section into a forum.

You want to know why I turned off Anonymous Comments and PMs? Easy. Racist and bigoted bullshit spewed on my I/R tales by Anons, and in PMs to me. You think that racist anonymous assholes should be allowed to spew their crap and threaten me and my family? I'd really like to know, man. Send me a PM with your email on it, and we'll correspond that way.

Up to you. If not, have a nice life, and don't bother me again.

Once again, my apologies to whiteone_redone.

Holy shit drama between two authors! Story was great but this also is great. I like you all as authors though but man drama so yeah keep fighting!

Why bother adding the question about Susan at the end, simply to say that you don't know what happened to her?

completely unrealistic

much for me. 3 stars.

Nothing to be ashamed of here. You actually wrote a burn the wife story of extraordinary value. Thank you

on LIT and the world. Anyone who keeps reading stories he hates is a fucking retard

VOTE 1* FOR EVERY STORY RATED BY THAT TRANNY BITCH FOOL VASTIESMITH2 AKA BONNIETAYLOR2 AKA ANON!

to offset the asshole of LIT's 1 vote!!

its time to unleash the Hounds, TK U MLJ LV NV

If the author wants this to be a continuation he should have gotten the daughter's name right, it is Cindy not Nancy

Aside from other comments about errors in the story, most notably getting Nancy vs. Cindy, no one has pointed out — You say they are having sex at night in the house. But there is NO indication that Jonathan worked overnight, just that he worked overtime. Remember, he came home, grabbed a beer, and went to his favorite chair to watch TV.

Since there is indication he goes to work in the morning, say 8 am, even if he were working a twelve hour shift five days a week he’d be home by 9 pm or so, if we also figure in a 30’ lunch plus travel time. And it’s more likely he’s doing 10 hour shifts, making it 50 hour weeks. Doing 60 hour weeks, especially at manual labor for any length of time is asking for trouble, as fatigue will eventually cause accidents. For 50 hour weeks he’d be home at roughly 7 pm every night. Even if he started work at 9 am, he’d be home by 8 pm. There’s no way there’d be nighttime sex with her lover in their house.

So there goes your biggest reprehensible action of the two agonists that occur in your version of the story. And therefore the last half of the story falls apart.

Another thing, when the PI got the photos of Susan leaving Peter/Franklin’s house (another error), he would note that she was only in there, at the most, 10 minutes. And most likely it was less, perhaps 3-5 minutes. Just read the dialogue: Susan walks in tries to speak, he speaks a little, she again speaks, he speaks and grabs and mauls her, she knees him, then she runs out. That short time would obviously be noted by the PI, making it obvious that sex very likely did not occur at this particular meeting. But you have the PI say the photos are pretty much proof of her infidelity. I really don’t think so.

Because of these logical errors I was disappointed by this story. Sorry, but I give it a 1.5-stars, and only because it’s relatively mechanically well written. I will round up to 2-stars in my vote because there isn’t an half star to vote.

Thanks for putting in the effort, but you should have read the story more carefully, and thought of the storyline a little more.

But at the end of your version you have Susan and the kids corresponding while she was in prison. Then she stops. Why is that? And what happens to her afterwards? Not a big hang, but you do leave it there, and as the “hanging” is what you criticize the other authors doing, the fact that you do it too, even in a smaller way, is ironic.

Good enough ending in that the bitch and her bastard are both burned.

Why did she hate her husband so much? Never addressed

Are you a female writer. If so you need to understand males period. We don't do restraining orders that is a bitch move. Men don't get periods like these fictional pussies.

...especially where children are concerned. You wrote a convincing story about a father protecting and keeping his kids. Well done.

w-r

In all a neat little tale with some just desserts served up to the pair of asswipes!

Keep writing...your material is most satisfying!

Written very well. Checking out this authors other stories, the last story posted was February 2007. Too bad he didn't post more. 5 stars.

Very good story with a great deserved double burn, but I would like to know more about Susan's story and why she went bad.

That was a good story with two assholes getting what they deserved. I haven't read the previous stories, but I will look for them.

Today I've been going through as many of these continuations/alternate endings of the original stories that I can find. Funny though, names change. I could swear that the child who saw Susan and boyfriend on the couch was Cindy - or some name beginning with a C.

That people realize that's not how things are handled with Child Protective Services and the police when handling cases like this. My situation was handled differently but with a similar outcome. I don't know if her actions would brand her as a sexual predator but I do know that in the states around where I'm from being convicted of public urination does. Would it all turn out this way for the guilty parties? I don't know but it could make for a better world if it did. Signed: BTW

Couldn't resist reading again. A great story of consequences for cheating.

Kudos to the author. I liked the story and the ending was fine. What I really liked is the readability. Being not the most proficient reader, it takes time for me to read a story. While some may think the style is simplistic, for me it kept me attention all the way to the end. Anytime I can read a story without going into "squirrel mode" is a keeper.

I hate everybody that hurts children. I am a male Survivor a physical, mental, emotional, sexual rape. No matter what the headshrinkers say you don't really get over that. I have never gotten over it and I'm in my late sixties.

A 'better' ending to Susan and Jon's sordid tale.

Wonder if Bubba took a personal interest in Franklin? Squeal like a pig bitch!

MRS. Franklin Bubba

The thing I liked most with this story is that it didn't end in wild crazy sex. It ended with a happy family. You can't beat that.

Glad to see the cheating slut and the Asswipe get what they deserve! 5 stars!

Good story. Would have been a bit better to hear Susan's final perspective.

Susan is now with her soulmate, tricking to keep them in a cheap motel room with the occasional 'date night' sharing a Big Mac and a crack rock.

You forgot the lover/lawyer's name and lost a daughter along the way. THREE kids/4 bedroom house.

Why do all these writers think they need to add words like those in the first sentence of the second last paragraph? There is no need to feel guilty whatsoever. There is no need to add these words at the end of a story , yet they all do it. WTF? Knocked the score down two for just that. Guilt feelings in the real world are not likely after something like this. Lends an air of unreality.

Gotta' love a happy ending.

Typical Yankee BS. Totally no correlation with the original story. What a load of rubbish.

A better end to the original story.

Susan's perspective after her sentence would have made it better.

Eh, maybe it is a satisfying ending, but its surely not a continuation of nothing to talk about. You changed a lot.

Yeah not a bad way to end it

Note a bad story at all. I reallydo wish writers of these stories would applying the sentiment of kindness as contained in thus final paragraph. Please be a litle realistic. His wife was a sociopathic monster. No man would wver wish a person like this well. Moving on to indiference is realistic but "wishing her well" is so far outside realty as to be true idiocy. How could any father possibly wish a woman like that well.

"that all of the hurt is behind me, I guess I do wish her well wherever she might be."

This writer left the LE site likely 17 years ago. He may not even still be alive.

LOVE IT! 5 stars. Burn both those bitches. DMW aka Sumnut

Overall, a nice enjoyable story. The biggest problem I have is that the name of the asshole that Susan helped wasn't the same with the original. They had 3 children, the oldest being Cindy. Here, there's only 2 kids. The husband, Johnathan, I don't even think was named here. If an author's going to create an epilogue or whatever to another story, at least keep the names the same.

Franklin here was totally different from Rich in the original, moreso than just the name. I'll give an author creative license to bend things on his/ her viewpoint, but all the above just seemed to go overboard.

I do wish more was written about Susan after the imprisonment; it doesn't seem possible that she just gives up on the kids just like that. And the husband's (unnamed!) wishing her well in spite of all she did to him & the family seems a bit screwed.

3 stars in a story with an easy 4star potential. Bob

Just killed 3,000,000 brain cells and wasted a half hour reading this drivel. If you feel compelled to finish a story, at least do it well.

I wish there were more on the fate of Susan. Did she suffer serious remorse? After all she bore the children and was god mother and wife for many years. Was there ever a possiblity of some sort of visitation with her children? Never cared for the stories where the erent wife was never heard fro again.

good but needs to be finished