Tami's Descent Pt. 01

Tami's Descent CHAPTER ONE - The background and beginning

My name is Tim. Well, I guess nowadays, it is more Tami than anything else. I have been cross-dressing since I was 18. I started out like many by wearing my sister's clothes. I have always been attracted especially to fetish attire. There has always been something about woman dressed in leather that has been a major turn-on. A classy woman dressed in a business suit attracted me like no other.

Unfortunately, however, the only "fetish" garment that my sister owned was a blue suede skirt. Of course, this was my attire of choice. I used to don the skirt with a nice multicolored, primarily beige blouse and her pink ankle boots, hop into the parent's car, and drive around town. I never did have the courage to walk the streets, although there were times when I would stop on a deserted street and step out for a few moments. I relished the exhilaration. Anyhow, I digress.

Since then, again, like many cross dressers, I attempted to suppress the feelings I would have. Being raised in the traditional middle-class culture, I considered myself very heterosexual and very "manly" in most of the things that I did. I played many sports and did many of the typical "guy" activities. I was involved with a number of "regular/vanilla" relationships with women, during which the urges in me never went away, I simply bottled them up whenever they reared their head. I even purged my wardrobe on occasion.

As I said, these urges never did fade and ultimately, when my last long-term relationship came to an end, I decided to quit attempting to hide these urges and explore them further. Fortunately, by this time, the Internet had sprung to life. I started shopping online, primarily using Ebay to buy many of the outfits I had once only fantasized about. I invested in a digital camera and would take pictures any chance I could get.

Finally, I was able to express the other side of me that I had kept hidden for so long. I would dream about serving a Dominant Female as her sissy maid, being used for her pleasure wherever and whenever she wanted. I even fantasized about being used by multiple dominant women at the same time. What I did not fantasize about, however, was being used by a Dominant Male. I must admit that being used sexually by a Dominant Transvestite was quite an intriguing thought, however, and something that became very fascinating to me.

I would spend much time online seeking out and chatting with any Dominant Transvestites I could find. My ultimate fantasy was to serve at a gathering of Dominant Women (perhaps including Dominant Transvestites), donned in a clear plastic maid uniform, which, while still donning clothing, easily showed, by undergarments. I could imagine myself answering the door with each arriving guest and having them make comments at the sight of me and my attire. "Oh, what a pretty maid.", "wow, what a sexy slut," "impressive, what a whorish outfit," were some of the comments I could imagine. All the while, the guests would have the opportunity to fondle me and have their way with me.

Some of the scenarios included having them take me into the back room, have their way with me and return to the party as if nothing happened. Again, there were no men at the party, only Dominant Women. After all, I was still a very heterosexual, "manly" man outside of this particular habit that I may have.

Anyhow, time went by and as my collection of fetish attire, outfits, shoes, and adornments increased, so did my photo collection. I was always exciting at the thought of taking risqué or more explicit shots. I have many interests in the realm of Dominance and Submission, and picture taking was one of them. If you haven't caught on yet, I also very much enjoy humiliation, degradation, and bondage.

One other particular interest of mine is body-writing. If you haven't explored this fetish, I strongly recommend it. I remember seeing one transvestite, bound, gagged, tied with words like "whore", "sissy", "cunt", "bitch", written on her body in permanent magic marker It was photos like these that I would collect and save on the hard drive on my computer. My collection is vast, and since I live alone, I simply keep this on my hard drive or on compact disc, as I have no worries of others using my pc.

I also would enjoy collected short video-clips of TV's being taken. Unfortunately, many of these involved Dominant males using TV's, but I didn't care. Something about the helplessness of the submissive TV's was something I found very erotic. Also, the males seemed to be more cruel and humiliating that the Dominant Women. As humiliation is a turn-on, I was naturally attracted to these clips, which I would watch often. There was one set that I enjoyed very much called "biker-slut" or something like that. It was about a girl (GG) who gets used by a bunch of bikers. Again, although I am/was heterosexual, there was something I found enticing about this particular set of clips. The fact that they used her and left her was awesome.

Another of my favorite fantasies was to be tied, spread- eagle, and face down to a bed, unable to move or turn my head. I would be gagged with a penis gag, presumably by a Dominant Mistress. I would hear the click-click of her heels as they made their way into the room. She would approach my ass and begin to rub and lube it up. She would then proceed to enter me, and I would begin to move myself towards her as much as I could, considering my bound predicament. As she continues working her way in and out of me, she walks in front of me, brandishing a large strap-on. As she stares at me with a sly grin, I suddenly realize that she isn't the one who is taking me from behind. I mean, how could she be the one taking my ass when she is standing directly in front of me? She tells me to "shut the fuck up whore. I know this is your fantasy so just take the fucking like you deserve. That is what good little whores do." She then removes my penis gag and begins fucking me with the strap-on. They both continue to ride me, using both of my available holes until they cum with delight. Mistress then replaces the dildo gag and they both leave the room. After they leave, I realize I never did know who took my ass from behind. I mean I was raped, but don't even know by whom! As I enjoy writing, I would write these fantasies down in a journal, which I also left by my PC. Again, since I live alone, there were no worries about anyone prying.

Anyway, one particular night, I was looking forward to taking a new set of photos. I had recently finished a project of making a very nice spreader bar, which I made exceptionally wide. After all, since I wanted to be a whore and take good photos, I thought it all the more risqué to spread myself completely. I would take photos about once a week, and this was my night to go a little further. I didn't have much experience in self-bondage, but how hard could it be? I just needed to make sure that I didn't make the last clip too tight and I should be able to get out easily.

Fortunately, I have a remote control for my camera, which allows me to take photos without having to run for a timer. The only drawback is, however, that the camera automatically shuts down after a certain time and you have to be at the camera to turn it back on.

I decided to go all out this particular night. I was going to deck myself out in all latex, including latex panties. Since I really wanted to get risqué, I also decided to take out my large dildo that I enjoyed practicing on. Nothing more exciting than a bound TV forced to suck a dildo. Anyhow, I started prepping myself for the night's activities ahead. I took my time shaving my entire body, as I did often. I started with the electric razor, and then moved on to the nice relaxing bath, where I used a manual razor to shave myself nice and smooth including my private areas. After all, I can't dress the part if I don't feel the part too. When I was done with my body, I completed the hair removal by a complete facial shaving. I made sure my face was nice and smooth to allow for the perfect application of makeup.

When I was finished, I logged onto the computer. When I am nice and dressed, I also like to start up the web cam to allow some other to see. I get loads of IM's from guys, but since I am not interested in men, I rarely even answer. They can be such a bore. I mean, they don't read my profile saying I am not interested in men?? I signed on to AOL, Yahoo, and the other services I frequent including some personal ad services. I list my city, but I figure there are too many people out there for me to have to worry about being recognized. After all, only others that are into the scene would be looking there, right?

I signed on and began the slow process of the makeup application. I like to take my time and do it right so I look ultra-feminine. As usual, I got lots of IM's from a bunch of horny guys, including one from a male that called himself Master Ken. Now, this particular guy was one that I talk to on occasion, but never thought of the possibility of actually meeting him. Talk online was harmless, so I would even tease on occasion, and send my naughty photos to him. He lived a few states away, so I had no worries about ever actually having to deal with my taunts. He said hello, and I, in my usual fashion, described the attire I would wear later to him. He was very impressed and complimented me as usual. I even enticed him a bit by sending him a photo of my last session when I took photos of my sucking my dildo. I told him, "it's too bad you are so far away." He responded by saying, "Well, one of these days you will submit to Me." I smiled and simply responded, "Yes, sir", knowing that I didn't have to worry about that possibility. After all, I couldn't imagine myself ever calling someone, "Master". I mean, I had my cross dressing interests, but underneath, I am a typical male. I told him I would be in and out while I got ready and, as usual, he said, "I'll be here."

I prepped my makeup as usual. Light shade of pink under the eyes, dark gray above them highlighted with black mascara and eyeliner. I even used false eyelashes tonight, which is something I don't normally do. I applied my foundation and blush and applied the powder to even out my face. I finished my facial ensemble with a nice rosy shade of red, which I knew Mr. Ken loved. I figured I might as well drive him wild while I am at it. I guess I kind of enjoyed being a tease, and since I won't see him, why not give him a show, hehe.

I returned to the PC wearing a pair of black latex panties and said hello again. He simply said a polite hello in return and I resumed my dressing. I put on a pair of black nylons (wow, they feel so sexy on freshly shaven legs), a pair of black garters, and my black bra containing my typical extra-large breast forms. I have always been a big breast fan so naturally I gravitated towards being a buxom babe. I then slipped on my black and red striped latex "skater-skirt" with my red and black latex halter-top. I added my gold hoop earrings (that extra special slut look) with a strawberry blonde wig. I placed my black patent leather ankle boots on my feet. Finally, I also adorned myself with a nice gold arm band/bracelet, various rings, and the icing to it all, my pink patent leather collar. I loved having that on.

I checked myself out in the mirror when I was all complete. Wow, did I look good. I don't know if I had ever looked as well as I did that night. I was going to enjoy taking photos, and mind you, I was revved to take some nasty ones.

As always, I returned to my computer before doing anything else. I closed the many IM windows from the various horny men that IM'd me, and said hello again to Mr. Ken. He asked if I was finished dressing and I said, "Yes, Sir, I am." He asked politely if he could view my web cam. I guess that is why I spoke to him as opposed to the other males that solicited me; he was always very polite and very nice. He wasn't as crude or as brash as the other many IM's I got, asking, "would you like to suck my cock.", "may I lick your asshole?", or something else of the like. Even though I liked that kind of talk and/or humiliation, I wanted it from a Mistress, not some vulgar man.

I took a final look at myself and started my web cam. Of course, he was the first to request permission to view, followed by some of the other girls I spoke with online. I flirted a bit and showed myself around a bit to those that watched. Again, as usual, I received a number of requests from various males and such requesting to view my cam, which I promptly denied. Geez, don't I sound like a stuck-up bitch? I mean, at least say hello first.

Anyhow, after a few minutes of idle chat and showing myself off, I told everyone that I would be away from the cam to take some photos. Funny, Mr. Ken usually keeps viewing even while I am away but for some particular reason, he signed off shortly after I announced I would be away to take photos. Ah well, probably yahoo was just acting up again; he will request to see me as soon as he logs back on, as usual. He always likes to watch and pay compliments. He'll have to wait until I am done. I left the computer and went into the bedroom. After all, I wanted to try out my newly created spreader bar. I was so anxious.

I had recently gotten quite busy making my place over into a fetish haven. New spreader bar, newly made bondage cross, newly made fuck bench, and I even altered my bed for someone to be tied spread eagle. I had hoped to find a Mistress to fulfill that fantasy for me. Alas, someday...

I set out to take my photos. As I knew the bondage photos were going to take some doing and would probably mess my hair a bit, I started out with the typical poses. I would sit on the bed, nice and proper; stand in the corner, and my favorite, with my purse out like a streetwalker. I would often think about driving out into the city where the transvestite hookers would be, just to get out and walk the streets. Ah, then I would get hit on by men, yuck.

When I was finished taking the usual battery of photos, I set out to take the explicit ones. I put my ankle cuffs on first. Wow, they were snug; I even got ones that locked into place. Eh, what the hell, I locked them on. I have the key, might as well put it on the bureau so I don't lose it. I also went ahead and attached my wrist cuffs, again, locking them on of course.

Hmmm..., I look great as a bondage TV, I thought. I placed the key on the bed and set out to position the camera properly. Some of my favorite photos were of me from behind, panties exposed, so naturally, I was excited of the thought of using a spreader bar to "open me up". I got the camera in place and set out to try my first self-bondage. I didn't have to run, but I did have to act somewhat expeditiously, since the camera would automatically shut down after a few minutes.

I sat down on the bed and fastened my ankles to the spreader bar. Wow, I really did make this wide! It really did do a good job of spreading me out. Unfortunately, I wasn't smart enough to buy clips yet, so I tied my ankles to the bar. Trust me, that was tough enough, I was very much secured to the bar.

I then set ahead to the task of tying my wrists. I decided that once I secured one hand, the other would be free, so instead, I decided to secure them using one ultimate tie, securing them very tightly. I figured it would be tough to get out of, but I knew time was running short with the camera. I decided, "Fuck it" and tied them tight. Wow, this was really tough. I thought it would be easy. Not at all. When I fastened my hands to the bar, it automatically spread me completely and bent me over just the way I like it: face down in the bed, legs spread, and ass in the air.

I quickly pushed the button on the remote so that the camera did not shut off. Fortunately, the flash went off, and I knew I had beaten the time limit. Ha, just made it. I set off to my tasks of taking my kinky photos. Wow, this was such a rush, so exciting. I took a bunch of photos, lost count at about 30.

I tried to roll over and change positions, but no dice. I really couldn't move. It was scary, but fun at the same time. As long as I can get myself out by morning, I'll be all right, I quipped to myself. Oh, I guess I forgot to mention the fact that I put my ball gag into place before I started my run for the bed. That made my feel ever so more excited. Besides the bed on the nightstand, I left my "practice" dildo and penis gag, which is my favorite of the gags. I figured I would use these to take some photos later. I continued to snap photos and tried to lift my rear further into the air, although I didn't change positions much; it was that tough. I had really done a good job.

I should take a step back to say I live in an apartment complex. I live on the second floor apartment in a fairly spacious place. The bedroom is a nice size and I have a queen bed. I don't consort with my neighbors much, save to say hello once in a while. Besides, people are moving in and moving out all the time, so it is tough to keep track of everyone. It also helps when I go out dressed. Nobody takes notice because they don't really know much about who lives in my place anyway. Anonymity is a good thing sometimes.

I was spacing out in the whole photography session when I thought I heard a noise downstairs. I didn't pay it much mind at first. Every time the neighbors come in or go out, their doors rattle mine, so I've kind of gotten used to it. Considering my current state, though, I somehow felt like I had a heightened sense of hearing. I guess kind of what they say about blind people or someone lacking another sense. I ignored it at first, but after I heard it again, I guess I began to panic. I tried to release myself from my bonds, but I guess I was just too good at securing myself. That, combined with my panic, prevented me from even moving. I mean, what if the maintenance people were here for some reason? How do I explain this spot? Shit, I can't move, can't get out, what do I do?!?

Well, at least my bedroom door is closed, usually if they need to come in; something is up with the kitchen. Maybe something is wrong with the damn dishwasher again and the water overflowed downstairs. Fortunately, they are pretty good at just shutting the problem down and coming back the next day. That's what they did last time. Maybe they won't notice me. Oh shit, what about my computer though? I left that on, and the cam too! Well, it has been a few minutes, so the monitor should shut down by itself. Whew, good thing for those screensavers. And I used to think they were annoying. Maybe it saved my embarrassment.

I still didn't know what to do though. I was struggling to try to get free. As I did, it became apparent that someone was in the apartment, coming up the steps. If I can just get out of the bonds and remove the gag, I can tell them I am changing. However, due to the way I tied my hands, as I tried to get loose, the bonds became tighter. Ever do that when you are trying to untie a knot? End up making it worse? That was me, and what a time to do it... Someone was coming up the steps and all I could do was listen. Hell, I couldn't even turn around to see what was going on!

After what seemed like an eternity, the steps stopped making noise. The person was actually in my apartment now. I was scared to death, but praying that it was simply the maintenance guy headed to the kitchen. Damn dishwasher, what a time to act up. They need to replace that damn thing. I mean, shit, what about 1 or 2 inches on the other side of the bedroom door, here I was, bound, helpless, with all of my girly clothes on the floor, camera set up, dildo sitting on the nightstand?? I closed my eyes and praying for the guy to leave, all the while, hopelessly yanking at the bonds I created for myself.