Tammy Truth and Fiction Pt. 02

Part one of this story line explained the fact and the fiction behind the stories I write. I have had many new experiences since I wrote part one so this story updates my current truth and fiction sexuality. Two years ago my doctor told me I needed surgery to remove my prostate. He told me it was not mandatory, but advisable. Since I am in my early 60's I was told there would be possible side effects and I should think things over before agreeing to the procedure.

When I asked what the possible side effects were he said of course the surgery would sterilize me as my body would no longer produce semen. He said I had a 25% chance of becoming totally impotent, meaning I would never again have any kind of erection. He told me the surgery would shorten the length of my penis by as much as two inches when limp. And he finally told me I had a 15% chance I would never be able to have sexual intercourse with a female.

I was too embarrassed to tell the doctor I was a 62 year old virgin. I also was too embarrassed to tell him the thought of not being able to have an erection has been a lifelong dream of mine as I never liked the feel of an erection in my panties. I also failed to mention to him that my last ejaculation happened close to ten years ago as I did not like to experience sexual stimulation as a male.

The fact that the doctor was advising me to have this operation was for me a blessing as I am now very desirous of physically living as a female. I agreed to the surgery and it was performed without trouble. Erections and ejaculations are now a physical impossibility for me and I have experienced an intensely strong desire to live full time as a girl. I have never felt the female desire as strongly as I do now.

I began seeing a female therapist after my surgery and she assured me it was nothing to be concerned about having my new female urges. She advised me to wear lingerie full time and to slowly accept myself as a girl. She suggested I rearrange the dresser in my bedroom to accommodate my everyday lingerie and to begin getting rid of my male clothing. She also suggested that I look at porn clips from the perspective of the female and not the male. I took her advice and I'm very close to showing myself to the world as a female. I wear lingerie full time now and have for over two years. I sleep in nightgowns and panties every night. The effects of the surgery have caused me to lose all of my male sexual desire. Naked female photos are of no sexual interest to me. Photos of males with full erections and ejaculating I now find highly erotic. I fantasize daily about my power as a girl to sexually stimulate a male.

Before my prostate surgery I was a bit scared of any kind of surgery, but with the results I described above I did serious research about having breast implants. At my first doctor visit it was decided I would look very natural with a 38C breast size. The doctor has told me the procedure will be done through my underarm and there will be no visible scars on my breasts and my sexually sensitive nipples will not be affected and may even become more sensitive. I have a second appointment scheduled to confirm the surgery. Having worn a training bra full time for almost three years, the thought of being able to lower my full size breasts into a pretty satin and lace bra every morning is very appealing. I have purchased several vintage full size satin and lace bras in various colors and I have folded them and stacked them in my panty drawer. Looking at them when I put on my panties every day makes me want full size breasts all the more. This is an excellent second step in feminizing my body and one I am ready to take which will allow me to present myself to the world as a girl.

Assuming the breast surgery goes as planned, I have begun researching what would be involved in a third step of removing my little testicles. My urologist would be who I would consult. My research has revealed that testicle removal would immediately stop all testosterone production in my body. It would make me completely sterile and my already tiny penis would most likely shrink farther. Any sexual activity as a male would be impossible, which is a lifelong dream of mine. When I see the results of the breast surgery I will make a final decision on testicle removal.

I have been wearing a very light pink lipstick every day for almost two years and my therapist has given me a daily exercise to perform. Each morning after I have put on my panties, bra, half-slip and camisole I am to stand in front of a full length mirror and delicately stroke my nipples through my camisole and bra. While I do this I am to look at myself and repeat the phrase; "I am a girl" over and over again. I have also found it helpful when going to sleep at night in my nightgown and panties to repeat the phrase as I fall asleep. I have done this every day in the morning for the past year and I find it imprints on my mind the fact that I am physically and mentally a girl. I have zero male sexual arousal when doing this so I know it must be working.

I am very pretty when my hair and make-up are done properly further showing me I deserve to be a girl. I am most happy when I am a girl and I am in ecstasy when I am in bed with a real man and he is sexually aroused by me. I feel at my most natural sexually pleasing a male and the males I have been with have all told me I am a beautiful girl. I love it when they tell me that.

I am very uncomfortable if I am not wearing full cut panties, a training bra, and a half or full slip everyday even under male outer clothes. Male underwear does not fit me anymore as my tiny penis has shrunk in size. I tried, but it is extremely difficult for me to, if not impossible, to wear any kind of male underwear. I wear lingerie on a full-time basis now.

If I go through with the other two surgeries I can seriously begin to look for a man who would be willing to marry a girl with a tiny penis between her legs. Being the bride at my wedding and wearing overly feminine honeymoon lingerie for my husband would be the fulfillment of a lifelong dream for me.

If you read any of my other stories this should give you the background to more fully understand what I am writing about.