Tango on the Razor's Edge Ch. 19

Joaquin rode silently right up to the point when I turned into the parking lot of Belle's Bar. Then he said, "You know that was a performance for you, right?"

"Oh, come on. Don't treat me like I'm an idiot."

"She was trying to give you something special."

"I appreciate you saying that, but let's just leave it alone."

"Well, okay, but I said all that shit about you because I thought it would set you off. I didn't mean any of it, and I didn't mean to disrespect you. You're a good man. You've done a lot for my daughters, and, even though you may not believe it, I appreciate that."

"Yeah, well, thanks for saying that."

He asked, "Do you want to come in for a drink? I'll buy."

"Haven't we done enough for one night?"

"Come on. It's not like anyone is waiting for you at the hotel, Holly won't be around to wind you up, and I promise not to give you any shit."

"No, I'm just going to take off."

He opened the car door, but before he got out, he said, "Belle's going to want to know what happened, and I'm sure she'd like to hear your side of the story."

"You're going to tell Belle?"

"Of course. Maybe I'll get a drink out of it."

"A free Bud Light, who could resist?"

"Come on. It'll be fun."

I don't know if I wanted to see Belle, to get a free beer, or to hear Joaquin's side of the story, but I definitely didn't want to spend the rest of the evening stewing alone in a hotel room, so I parked the car.

Belled greeted us with a bright smile and said, "Look who's here, Don Juan and Don Two." She wiped a spot clean at the bar and invited us to sit down. Then, with a tip of her head, she asked, "What have the world's greatest lovers been up to?" She paused for a moment and continued, "No, wait, let me guess." She pointed her finger at Joaquin and said, "You had your way," her finger swung over to me before she continued, "With his wife."

Joaquin climbed up onto a barstool and rested his elbows on the bar. With an off-handed shrug, he replied, "That's old news. I guarantee you can't guess what happened tonight."

The smile on Belle's lips curled. "I don't know. I've got a pretty good imagination."

Joaquin returned her smile with one of his own. "I tell you what, I'll buy a round for the house if you can guess right, and you buy a round for us two if you can't. Deal?"

Belle polished the bar with her ugly rag and asked, "Since when do you have enough money to buy a round for the house?"

He poked me with his elbow and asked, "You'll front me, won't you, buddy?"

There were less than a dozen people in the bar, all drinking Bud Light. I scratched my chin and said, "I don't know... The stakes are pretty high."

Belle chuckled, then said, "I'll take the bet, but I want to hear the whole story if I lose."

Joaquin adjusted himself on his stool. "I think we can do that." Then, he looked at me and asked, "What do you think?"

I had no idea which aspect of the day's events he wanted to talk about, but before I could reply, Belle continued, "I mean ALL the juicy details."

"Two Bud Lights in exchange for all the juicy details... That sounds about right to me." I replied.

Belle retrieved a couple of cans of beer from the cooler and put them down in front of us. "Let's see, Nick was going to give you sex lessons, right?"

Joaquin nodded and said, "Sure, but you knew that already. What was today's lesson?"

The guess was good, but I was more impressed that she remembered my name.

"You were with his wife, right?"

"That's right," replied Joaquin.

"Both of you. At the same time."

"Belle, you are good at this! But what was the lesson?"

Belle paused for a moment and then began to think out loud. "You've got a huge dick, and you'll fuck anything with a pulse, so what could Mr. Milquetoast here teach you?"

Joaquin clapped me on the back and said, "We've got her now!"

I wasn't so sure. It seemed to me she was off to a pretty good start.

She looked at me and asked, "Joaquin has a huge cock, doesn't he?"

I replied with a nod.

"And he knows how to use it, doesn't he?"

I nodded again.

Belle turned the tattered rag in her hand and wiped imaginary water rings from the bar. "You know, they say that the mind is the biggest sex organ."

"I've heard that," I replied.

"They say that once you get into someone's head and find out what makes them tick, sex becomes amazing."

"I've heard that too." Belle was a clever girl, but I couldn't quite figure out what she was playing at.

"So, I think the lesson is about what Nick says to get into Holly's head." Once the words escaped her mouth, she immediately corrected herself. "No, wait. That doesn't fit. You'd still be there with her if that was what you were doing."

She leaned back and thought for a few moments. "What are you two doing here, now?"

Joaquin broke into a sly smile, "We're drinking beer."

"Your wife didn't have one of those big orgasms tonight, did she?"

"Not tonight, no," I replied.

"But you did, didn't you?"

I looked over at Joaquin, who was still smiling. Then I returned my gaze back to Belle, who was looking intently at me.

She asked, "You did, didn't you?" After a curt nod from me, she continued, "So, how did they weasel their way into your head?"

In a moment, she was going to make a lame guess. Then she'd expect me to spill the details but telling her who fucked who wouldn't be sufficient. She was going to want to know who said what and why. She was going to want to know about my submission and ask how it felt. So rather than get into that, I put three twenty-dollar bills on the bar and said, "You win. That was really well done."

She pushed the money back across the bar. "Oh, no, you don't. We're not done here."

"This was a bad idea," I protested.

Belle smiled seductively and asked, "What are you afraid of?"

I shrugged, "I just...."

"I already know that you let Joaquin sleep with your wife. I know you get off on it because you're here drinking a beer with him, and I know you're at least bi-sexual because you sucked his cock just a few feet from the door to my bar. So what are you afraid I'm going to figure out?"

My shoulders slumped in defeat. "I guess there's not much left. So, you win. Take the money."

"There's something left. What is it?"

Without looking up, I said, "She's pregnant."

"And you're not the father."

I shook my head, "There's been a lot of guys."

Joaquin patted my back and said, "Get this man another beer."

Belle regarded me for a moment, took the three twenties from the bar, and shouted, "Hey, everyone, Nick, here, is going to be a father! Drinks all around!" She spread a bunch of cold cans on the bar and let the patrons help themselves.

The ragtag clientele congratulated me as they collected their beer. Some gave gratuitous advice, while others shared cautionary tales. Once they'd said their piece and gathered as many beers as they could carry, they headed back to their seats.

"Well, if it's worth anything to you, I think you'd make a good father," said Belle.

Joaquin didn't hesitate to chime in. "He's a great father. He raised my kids."

"You have kids?" Belle asked.

"Two girls. They're from a long time ago."

"You let Nick raise your kids while you cuckolded him?"

"It just worked out that way."

Belle smiled broadly as the situation crystallized in her mind. "No wonder you don't want to talk about it. You're a chump. You've wasted your life raising Joaquin's kids while he fucked your wife. I bet you feel like the most worthless piece of shit to walk the planet."

"That's about it," I conceded.

"That's how they get into your mind, isn't it? That's what gets you off."

I stared down at the worn-out Formica without saying anything.

"Come on, admit it. You get off on it, don't you?"

"You win, alright? I already bought the fucking round, so we're done."

She reached across the bar to grab my hand and said, "We're almost done. I just have a couple more questions. That's how they made you cum tonight, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I don't understand it."

"And, it's why you're not there with her now."

"Yeah. There's a moment when the situation is all-consuming and so fucking hot that it actually feels right. Then, a few minutes later, everything changes. It's so wrong that I can't believe I'm the same person. I just have to get away."

"But there's no escape. You're still stuck with Joaquin's girls and a cheating wife."

"Exactly! And she treats me like she's doing me a favor."

"Whoa, hang on there a minute, buddy. It was all about you tonight, and you enjoyed it." Joaquin put in his two cents.

He wasn't wrong, but he wasn't getting the point either. I replied, "I suppose, but that doesn't mean I want to live that way, 24/7."

Belle put two more beers on the bar. "What are you going to do?"

"I think I'll get an apartment and see how it goes."

Belle nodded thoughtfully and said, "Just because you feel something doesn't make it a fact."

I stared at her without saying anything.

"Why do you let her make you feel this way?"

"Exactly! I've got to stop it."

Belle shook her head. "That isn't what I asked."

***

The next morning, I was in a coffee shop using my phone to search for an apartment when Holly called. I let it ring a couple of times before I answered. "What's up?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm out looking for a place to live."

"Oh," she replied. After a short pause, she continued, "I was wondering if we could get together."

"I was going to come over tomorrow for Chris's birthday."

"Can you come over tonight? There's some stuff we need to talk about."

I took a deep breath then slowly exhaled. Before I could say anything, she continued, "I haven't been honest with you. You're about to make some big decisions without knowing the whole story."

"I have a pretty good idea about what's going on."

"Yeah, well, maybe, but you're missing some crucial details." Her voice was low and smooth.

"Go ahead. Fill me in."

"I can't do it over the phone."

"Oh, God. This is another setup, isn't it?"

"Not this time."

"Then why can't you do it over the phone?"

"You'll understand when it's over."

"You say that every time, and every time it's another crazy situation. Do you realize how many times you've done this to me?" A couple sitting nearby looked over their shoulders at me, so I lowered my voice. "In all that time, we haven't had fifteen minutes alone together."

"I know it's been hard for you. Come over, hear what I have to say, and it will all make sense."

"Come on, Holly. Haven't we done this before?"

"This time will be different. I promise."

***

Holly answered the door wearing an apron with her hair tied back. "You don't have to ring the doorbell, silly!" I shrugged, then she said, "Well, come on in." As I stepped through the threshold, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me on the lips. "Thank you for coming over."

I was determined not to be swept away by her seductive powers, but I didn't want to be rude, so I begrudgingly kissed her back then peeled away her arms. "What did you want to talk about?"

Rather than answer my question, she said, "Sit down. Dinner's almost ready." She'd taken the leaves out of the dining room table and set it for two, complete with a small arrangement of flowers and a candle in the middle.

"You promised we'd just talk."

"I know, but if this is going to be our last meal together, I want it to be a nice one."

I sat down and watched as she poured me a Scotch and then dropped in a couple of ice cubes. "Where are the girls?"

As she handed me my drink, she said, "I could tell you where they said they were going, but it's a Saturday night, so who knows where they really are."

"Sometimes, I worry about them."

"Of course you do. You're their father." She placed two plates on the table, then sat down.

"Holly! What the fuck?" She'd served the same chicken with cream sauce that she'd prepared the day I'd found out about her affair with Dan.

She scooped up a finger full of the sauce and then licked her finger clean. "You don't have to eat it if you don't want to."

"God damn it. Can we just stick to the fucking script?"

Her face fell just a bit. "I'm sorry. I thought it'd be fun."

I leaned back in my chair and took a healthy swallow from my Scotch. "Why don't you just say what you have to say so we can get this over with."

"Relax, Baby. I'm not out to get you."

I took a deep breath. "Just tell me what you wanted to say."

She realized that I wasn't going to put up with her usual shit, so she said, "Alright, have it your way. The baby I'm carrying really is yours."

"Jesus, Holly. Cut the crap."

"I'm serious. It's yours."

"You expect me to believe that after trying to have a kid for six years, I magically got you pregnant while you were fucking Dan, Joaquin and who knows else at the same time?"

"It isn't quite that bad."

"Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"It will make sense if you let me explain."

"Oh, fuck, here we go."

She sipped her wine. "Before I start, I want you to think of what I'm saying as information and try not to judge it or react to it."

"I'll try," I said.

"I suppose that'll have to do," and with that, she began. "The first time I cheated on you was on our wedding night."

"What?" I couldn't fucking believe it.

"I know this is hard, but try not to react."

"You expect me to not react to that?"

She shook her head, "Look, I know it hurts, but we have a lot of shit to cover, and it will be better for both of us if we just get it over with."

I shook my head. "Fine. Go ahead."

"I didn't intend to do it, but after the wedding, I was restless. It was like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. You'd fallen asleep, so I went down to the bar to calm my nerves. It was late, so there was just me and a couple of those wolves that hang out in hotel bars. I started chatting with one of them, and one thing led to another..."

"And you just couldn't stop yourself," I said in disgust.

"No, that's not it. I went down there to flex that muscle and prove to myself that I still had game."

"Was it the guy who sat down with us while eating breakfast the next day?"

"Yeah, the guy who wouldn't go away."

"He acted like you two were old friends."

"Yeah, you were so polite, and he was such an asshole."

I shook my head. "What a way to start a marriage."

"Yeah, well..."

I stood up and said, "I've got to get some Advil." I grabbed a couple of pills from the medicine cabinet, washed them down with Scotch, then refilled my glass.

Once I'd returned to my seat, Holly asked, "Are you going to be okay?"

"Let's get this over with."

"I'd hoped that after being married so many times that I'd finally grown up, and with you, as stable and supportive as you are, I'd be able to settle down. But after that fling, I realized I was never going to be faithful. I figured that eventually, you'd find out and that we'd split up. I didn't want to be a forty-year-old single mom with a young kid, so I kept taking birth control."

"But you knew I wanted kids."

"I did."

"And you took the pill anyway?"

"Yes. I was convinced we weren't going to make it."

"And you let me believe that I was impotent."

"That's right. I'm sorry."

"Jesus, Holly, what were you thinking?"

"I was on autopilot, doing exactly the same kind of shit I'd done every other time I'd been married. After that, there was really no reason for me to hold back. So, I hooked up with Joaquin and the other guys regularly."

"What do you mean by regularly?"

"Every week or so."

"Every week?"

"Sometimes, twice a week."

"Jesus. How could I have been so blind?"

"Don't get down on yourself. You saw what you wanted to see. It happens all the time."

"But, you knew better."

She shrugged. "We were both getting what we wanted, so I figured I'd go with it for as long as it lasted."

"Did the girls know?"

Holly chuckled to herself. "Does anything get past Cathryn?"

I shook my head in disgust.

"You just need to accept that I was fucking around, and lots of people knew about it. It's neither good nor bad. It just is what it is, information."

"I think most people would say cheating is a bad thing."

"Okay, I'll grant you that, but you're about to make a big decision, and my objective is to make sure you have all the information you need to make the best choice. So please wait to judge me until after you've heard it all."

I took a bite of chicken. The creamy sauce was every bit as good as I remembered. "I'm trying."

Holly smiled sympathetically. "I know you are, Baby." She gently squeezed my hand. "Dan had always been upfront about his interest in me, so I was surprised when you suggested that I apply to be his assistant. Of course, I got the job, and we hooked up on the first business trip we took. After that, we hooked up whenever we could. I quit seeing Joaquin and the boys because there wasn't enough time to squeeze them in."

"At first, I thought you'd set me up with Dan on purpose, that maybe you wanted me to spy on him, or maybe you had something going on the side yourself, but that didn't fit with how you were acting. You were always so affectionate, never asked about him, and never jealous."

"I trusted you."

Holly smiled slyly, "Nice try, but we both know there was more to it than that. Even though I knew something was up, I couldn't figure out what it was. You were too trusting and too accommodating. The pieces didn't fall into place until that night when you admitted to being a crossdresser."

"So, you think it's okay to cheat if I get off on it?"

"Maybe, but I'm not done yet."

"There's more?"

She took a bite, then said, "Yes, but why don't you eat before it gets cold."

I followed her lead and took another bite of the chicken.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes. It's delicious."

"Do you remember the last time we ate it together?"

"Of course, how could I forget that night?"

"Does it taste like Joaquin's cum to you?"

"Jesus, Holly. What the fuck?"

"I'm serious. I've never tasted his cum."

I shook my head. "No. It doesn't taste like his cum. Can we move on?"

She nodded thoughtfully. "Well, you would know." After a short pause, she asked, "Isn't it amazing how far we've come? You and I can sit here and have a mature conversation about the taste of my lover's cum."

"I wouldn't call this a mature conversation."

She chuckled while chewing on her chicken. "I suppose... But that was a huge night for us."

"That's for sure."

"I'd been living like we were going to split up at any moment. I'd spent years going from one guy to the next, hoping that I'd hit the jackpot, but that night I realized that I was already married to the man of my dreams."

"OH, FUCK ME. CAN WE PLEASE CUT THE CRAP?"

She squeezed my hand. "I know this is hard to believe, but it's true. The three of us could have been amazing. Each of us needing the others in a perfect lover's triangle. But Dan lost his mind. He wanted to send Chris and Cathryn off to boarding school, and he wanted me to move in with him. He couldn't see that he was just a bull. He became insanely jealous of you. Can you believe that? He was jealous of you! He didn't want me to spend any time with you. He didn't want me to touch you, and he flipped out every time you touched me."

I shook my head. "Poor Dan. I almost feel sorry for him."

Holly laughed. "But, you got your revenge."

"What did I do to him?"

Holly laughed. "It was so ironic. He was the hot-shot, rich guy, who was convinced he was God's gift to women, and he wanted to make me gush in the worst way. He'd try and try, God did he try, but he didn't have that emotional spark that makes it happen. We had the biggest fights whenever you worked your magic." She took a sip of wine and concluded, "Guys and their fragile egos are so fucking pathetic."