Teach Me Tantra! Ch. 06

Chapter 6 -- La Petite Mort

When I met Amanda at the door for our final lesson, I barely recognised her. It had only been four weeks since I met her in that coffee shop, but she had really blossomed.

She seemed more confident, relaxed and self-assured. The bun was gone and her shiny black hair now flowed loosely over her shoulders. The drab, conservative clothes were replaced with a short skirt and sexy top. The chunky shoes were gone and replaced with heals.

"I'm ready for my final lesson," she beamed as I greeted her.

"So am I," I agreed as we headed up to my bedroom, changed into our robes and took our seats at the foot of the bed.

"The thing that sets a Tantric practice apart from other forms of sex," I began, "is the ability of the practitioner to control their own state of arousal. This allows them to experience the maximum amount of pleasure that their body is capable of feeling, while working within their own body's physical limitations.

"A lot of this pleasure occurs in the mind. And up until now we have been focused on mental attitudes.

"But the physical sensations our mind receives, the orgasms we feel, ejaculation, are all linked to our physical bodies.

"Our discussions about the body so far have been limited to simply observing it in the present moment. Today we will talk about how we can use the mind to not only observe the body but to also control it."

Amanda sat forward on her chair, listening intently.

"In order to control your own state of arousal you need three basic things; a way to monitor your current state of arousal, a way to increase your arousal if it is too low, and a method for reducing your arousal if it is too high.

"By utilising these three things, you can select any level of arousal that you like and maintain it indefinitely.

"So let's start with a way to monitor your state of arousal. If you remember, I had asked you to observe your body during sex. Things like how your body felt, how fast your heart was beating, how fast you were breathing."

Amanda nodded.

"The things a practitioner needs to monitor are: How aroused am I right now in the present moment? Is my level of arousal changing? If so, which direction is it moving, and how fast is it changing?

"There are lots of ways you can do this, and once you have come up with a method that works for you it will quickly become second nature."

"That sounds kind of complicated, Dirk," Amanda admitted. "How do you monitor your arousal?"

"I'm a very visual person, sweetheart. The way I monitor my state of arousal is by picturing what I call a 'pleasure meter'.

"It is a very basic looking meter, like a speedometer, that goes from zero to one hundred percent. When it's at zero, I'm not aroused at all. When it hits one hundred percent, I ejaculate.

"This meter doesn't really have numbers on it. Instead it is divided into three coloured sections of different sizes.

"Most of it is green, which goes from roughly 0% to 80% of ejaculation. The next section is orange. Orange is roughly 80% to 99%. And red is the point of no return, when I ejaculate. It is a little sliver right at 100%.

"Anytime I decide to glance at this meter, the needle always points to my current state of arousal and wiggles a bit to show me if and how fast it is moving.

"At first, my needle was less accurate. I would think I was close to ejaculating but I wasn't. Or I would think I wasn't close to ejaculating, but I was.

"Ejaculating prematurely would cut the experience short. But overcompensating by staying closer to the green section was equally frustrating.

"With practice, by observing my own body, by allowing my arousal to increase very, very slowly towards the red line, I was able to find my limits and increase the accuracy of my pleasure meter. This allows me to have more and better orgasms and fewer accidents.

"Now it is second nature. Sometimes my whole meter blinks red, drawing my attention to it, telling me I am getting close to 100%, even if I wasn't consciously looking for it.

"Not everyone is as visual as me. But once you understand the concept, you should be able to come up with a mental device that works for you.

"It could be a meter like mine, maybe a different style, like a thermometer, or something completely different like colours, sounds, feelings. Anything really, as long as it is simple and easy to read.

"Let me walk you through how I use this type of pleasure meter in a Tantric practice and then we can talk about how a woman would."

"Thanks Dirk," Amanda nodded, "I think that would be very helpful."

"As I get more and more aroused, my needle moves up through the green section towards the orange section. As this occurs, the sensations I am feeling become more and more pleasurable and my cock becomes more and more erect.

"By the time I cross from the green section into the orange section, my cock is fully hard and I am starting to feel delicious waves of pleasure.

"As I move though the orange section and approach the red section the waves of pleasure become stronger and deeper. My heartbeat increases. My breath becomes quicker and shallower. My sexual energy increases.

"Just before I hit the red section, at around 99% of ejaculation, I will have an orgasm. The closer I am to the red, the bigger the orgasm will be. These orgasms are very pleasurable and energetic.

"At that point, I have two choices. I can choose to go all the way to 100% and ejaculate, but this will eliminate my sexual energy and drain my vitality. Or, I can decide to cool myself back down towards the green and recover for a moment.

"If I do this, I can allow my arousal to rise again towards 99% and have another orgasm. Then another. Then another.

"Every single moment of this cycle is so pleasurable, so blissful, so fulfilling, that I just want to stay there forever. And as long as I don't ejaculate, there are few limits to how long this can go on or how many orgasms I can have while it does."

"Wow," Amanda said. "That sounds amazing for a guy. But why would a woman want to do this?

"I mean, I love orgasms. Every time I have one, I want another one. But they don't tire me out like when you ejaculate. So why wouldn't a woman want to just keep having orgasms?"

"That's because you've only been experiencing level four orgasms," I replied.

"Level four?" Amanda asked, looking confused.

"The Taoists believe that as a woman's arousal increases, certain organs in her body become stimulated in a specific order. They arranged the organs of the body into nine groups or levels.

"When the first four sets of organs are stimulated, a woman can achieve a level four orgasm if she just lets herself go.

"This kind of orgasm feels great and gives you lots of energy. It is similar to the kind of orgasm that a man has if he doesn't ejaculate.

"But this kind of orgasm always leaves you wanting more. They are not as fulfilling as a man feels when he does ejaculate.

"I've met women who describe themselves as 'multi-orgasmic.' This is the type of orgasm that they are experiencing.

"However, if a woman resists having an orgasm when she is at level four, if she doesn't give into it but her body continues to be stimulated, more and more sets of organs will be stimulated in her body.

"Each subsequent level she reaches will result in an even deeper and more satisfying orgasm when she finally does let herself go. If she manages to reach level nine it will be impossible for her to hold back any longer because her entire body will be stimulated.

"I've met women who say they are not 'multi-orgasmic.' They told me they can only have one orgasm a night. But they also said that this does not bother them because they find them very satisfying and don't crave any more.

"I believe that these women are subconsciously holding themselves back, and as a result they are naturally achieving these higher levels. And there can be many logical reasons for why this could be happening subconsciously.

"So by exercising conscious control over her own arousal, a woman who is multi-orgasmic can experience these higher, deeper, more satisfying levels. And a woman who usually only experiences one deep orgasm can become multi-orgasmic."

"Wow. I never knew this. So what happens at level nine?" Amanda asked.

"If a woman manages to hold back until her entire body is stimulated--all nine sets of organs--she will reach a level nine orgasm. But to call this experience an 'orgasm' doesn't really give it justice.

"The Chinese call level nine 'a little death.' The literal French translation for 'a little death' is 'la petite mort,' which is the Western term for it."

Amanda looked doubtful. "So, is this level nine thing real?"

"I understand your scepticism, sweetheart. Most women will never experience this type of orgasm.

"When my partner and I read about this, we had never heard of the term 'la petite mort', and we thought it was all a fantasy as well. Or maybe the differences between the levels just weren't very noticeable.

"The book itself just contained a list of levels and organs. There was no instruction for how a woman could obtain any of these higher levels, let alone how to obtain level nine.

"It was only through experimentation that we discovered that, if a woman stayed in her orange zone and held back from having an orgasm, she could reach these deeper levels. And if she held off long enough she would eventually reach level nine.

"My partner at the time used to describe herself as 'multi-orgasmic.' But after we learned how to achieve level nine, she would prefer just one of those over ten level four orgasms any time."

"Really?" Amanda stared at me in amazement. "So how do these feel, exactly?"

"Unfortunately, I can't experience them myself, baby, but I have witnessed them dozens of times. Every single time I looked on in awe. And maybe just a tiny bit of jealousy.

"My partner's orgasm would go on for minutes, not seconds. I could tell they were very deep because her vagina would be opening and closing uncontrollably the whole time. Even when I thought it was over, she would remind me that, 'It's still happening.'

"Her body would be so completely stimulated that every inch of her skin would be too sensitive to touch. And I am not kidding. One time I blew towards her from across the room and she got upset.

"Her legs would be too wobbly to stand. She would be completely satisfied sexually and just wanted to drift off into a beautiful slumber."

"So, if I just hold back from having an orgasm, I'll reach this level nine?" Amanda asked. "How long does it take for the whole body to be stimulated?"

"When you are in the orange zone of your pleasure meter, enjoying the experience in the present moment, with wave after wave of pleasurable feelings washing over your body, it is difficult to keep track of time.

"However, I did check a couple of times out of curiosity. For my partner it took about an hour and a half of stimulation to achieve her first level nine orgasm. Once we had it figured out she could achieve one after about 45 minutes, maybe less.

"But I don't have a large sample size, sweetheart. So I can't say if these times are typical. Of course, the only way to know how long it would take for you specifically would be to try for yourself," I winked.

"Okay," Amanda smiled slyly, "I think I just might want to control my arousal after all. So how do I do that, exactly?"

"We've already talked about monitoring your present state of arousal. To control it, you need techniques for increasing your arousal and techniques for decreasing it.

"And you want you pleasure meter to move slowly in either direction. If your arousal increases too quickly, it will be much more difficult, if not impossible, to put the brakes on and keep yourself from having an orgasm.

"You can increase your arousal by seeing yourself as a god or goddess. Accept your entire body as it is in the present moment, offer it to your partner to be worshipped. Communicate how you like to be touched, verbally or non-verbally. Appreciate their tender attention. Focus on the delicious feelings in your body in the present moment, every subtle feeling.

"These are all of the things we discussed when you were touching yourself for me and when I was touching you. All of these things can help you to raise your state of arousal naturally.

"And the more time you spend with your partner, the more they will learn about what turns you on. This makes it easier and easier to raise your arousal over time.

"You decrease your arousal using something called a 'holdback' technique.

"One method is to take your focus off of your body and put it onto your partner's body. You try to make their experience as pleasurable as possible. You observe their body closely and watch how they react to your touch. Revere them as a god. Worship them wholeheartedly.

"These are all of the things we discussed when you were touching my body.

"So, that is a basic Tantric practice. You put your focus on your body to slowly raise your pleasure meter into the pleasurable orange zone. And you keep it from going too high by switching your focus away from yourself and onto your partner.

"Throughout the encounter you keep your thoughts in the present moment, checking your pleasure meter occasionally for a reference."

Amanda still looked a bit sceptical. "So, I can keep myself from having an orgasm just by putting my focus on worshipping your body?"

"Decreasing your state of arousal is more difficult than increasing it," I admitted, "especially when you're just starting off. So there are a number of different holdback techniques.

"Focusing on your partner is just one of these. But I believe it is the most beautiful and the most in alignment with Tantric principles. I found that with practice it is basically all that you need.

"Your partner will love all of the extra energy and attention that results from it. And it also signals to them that you are getting close to your red line and maybe they should back off a bit.

"But that's after some practice, when you are more in touch with your body and only need small adjustments. When you begin your practice, holding back your arousal can be very challenging because it can move up and down more wildly.

"Fortunately for a woman, accidentally having an orgasm is no big deal. She can just enjoy it and start over again. But men lose much of their sexual energy after ejaculating and many cannot continue.

"If you find that focusing on your partner alone is not enough, you can try a breath control technique."

Amanda was staring at me intently.

"When you were monitoring your body, did you notice your breath and heartbeat just before you had an orgasm?" I asked.

"Yes," Amanda nodded her head. "My heart was beating very fast and my breaths were quick and shallow."

"Excellent," I replied. "You can't control your heart, of course, but you can control your breath.

"If you consciously change your breathing pattern from quick and shallow to slow and deep, you are telling your body that it is wrong. It isn't about to have an orgasm after all. Your body will begin to respond accordingly, as long as you aren't too close to the point of no return.

"This technique can be very powerful and can be used in conjunction with other techniques.

"Of course, you can also decrease your arousal by stopping all physical movement. But this should be a last resort since it is very abrupt and takes both you and your partner out of your orange zones."

Amanda thought for a moment, and then a big grin spread across her face. "You know, I was wondering why you told me to think about sex one way and then told me to think about it in a completely different way. Now I understand they were two separate techniques for two different purposes.

"I would love to experience these deeper levels of orgasm, Dirk. When can we get started?"

I stood up from my chair and faced her, gazing into her beautiful eyes. "The training is over, Amanda. Now the practice begins.

"And there's no time like the present moment," I grinned, dropping my robe to the floor.

Amanda stood up from her chair and dropped her robe as well, keeping her eyes locked on mine. I opened my arms and we embraced. Bending down, I kissed her on the lips, loving the feeling of her lithe, warm body pressed against mine, my cock swelling against her naked belly.

After a moment our lips parted. I looked into her eyes again and said, "Why don't we continue on the bed?"

Amanda pulled down the covers while I reached into the night stand and retrieved the dildo and the lube.

"Lie down on your back, sweetheart," I instructed, "closer to the foot of the bed. Keep your right leg straight and lift your left knee."

As she did this I got on the bed and lay down on her right side. I was lying on my side, facing her feet, with my head near her pussy and my cock near her head.

I placed the dildo beside me and handed her the lube. "Let's try this," I began. "You can stimulate my cock with your hands and your mouth while I stimulate your pussy with mine. You can use the lube for your hands.

"If you are trying to increase your arousal, you don't need to give my cock much thought. Keep most of your focus on your body and just let it rise naturally. But if you are trying to decrease your arousal, then put all of your attention on my cock and on my body.

"When I notice the increased attention--and believe me, I will notice--I will know I should back off a bit to help you cool down slowly.

"If you are having trouble cooling down, focus on your breath. Try to force yourself to breathe slowly and deeply. Okay?"

Amanda nodded her head, eager to begin.

I kept my right leg as straight as I could and bent my knee to avoid the headboard. I opened my left leg by lifting my left knee, giving Amanda access to my cock and balls.

At the same time, I put my right arm under Amanda's right leg and she turned on her right side to face me. I marvelled at the feeling of her soft thigh against my cheek, her loose hair brushing my thigh, and the sight of her tiny, shaved pussy, just inches from my hungry tongue.

I knew her clit was very sensitive and I didn't want to raise her arousal too quickly, so I started by kissing her thighs and her belly and stroking the back of her leg.

Amanda put some lube on her hands and began stoking my cock slowly. Then she leaned forward and started licking my balls at the same time. It felt incredible and my cock started growing quickly.

I started stroking my fingers up and down her pussy lips, avoiding her clit. She let out a deep sigh when I pulled her closer to me and replaced my fingers with my tongue.

I spread open the top of her pussy with my fingers and started licking around her clit with my tongue, brushing the sides lightly while I traced little circles around it.

Amanda's body stiffened a bit and she gasped. Her grip on my cock tightened and I felt it enter her mouth. She began sucking me deeply, quickly raising my own arousal.

I could feel her excitement growing so I backed away from her clit and returned my focus to her pussy lips and the beautiful sensations she was giving me in the present moment.

Amanda began to relax her grip on me and I could sense that she was cooling down, so I returned to teasing her clit with my tongue and started fumbling around the bed for the dildo.

I found it, turned it on low and started stroking the head of it up and down her wet pussy lips while continuing to tease the sides of her clit. Amanda responded by doubling down on my cock.

I stopped moving my tongue and focused on my own cock. My arousal was very high, and I moaned as I allowed myself to edge up to my red line and have a beautiful orgasm, before returning my focus to her so I could cool back down with her.